they’re kinda stuck to tim’s side for the bulk of their training, so between tim’s cowl that makes him age 20yrs, and spider-gotham’s sarcastic and meanie personality they’d have a sibling like relationship,
their fights are either caused by tim pissing spidey by nit-picking the way they solve situations, (this is mainly like you said, tim being like ‘what if you didn’t have powers?’ and spidey would be like ‘i do dumbass’)
and the other type of conflict between them would be spidey being pissy and stealing tim’s stuff (basically being a petty little bitch)
this would result in bruce to question spidey’s maturity and if they should be on patrol at all
this wouldn’t phase spidey, because (i forgot to mention this, they’ve been disowned that’s why they’re in gotham) and would just shrug off the set back and genuinely try to be kinder to tim, (not nice tho-spider gotham is kind not nice)
and their relationship with bruce, because he took them in, they’re definitely grateful, and every now and then they accidentally call bruce ‘papa’ or ‘dad,’ this is partly because bruce looks so similar to their dad,
this throws bruce off the first few times, then he just slowly embraces it, just like how spidey walks behind bruce like a puppy when he’s home, because they don’t want to lose their dad again :(
i feel like damian would be the most surprised by the development, because that’s his dad, and not even he’s that clingy with him,
alfred definitely finds it amusing, and absolutely loves the new family member, the first time spidey first ate alfred’s food was when they got brought in by one of the vigilantes (still haven’t made up my mind on who yet) and right before bruce was about to start asking spidey questions, they were sniffling and silently crying, because in their words
“i feel the love in this food”
and alfred’s only thought was, “oh what a precious child”
oh and when bruce isn’t home, they definitely tail behind alfred, i just thought i’d leave it there,
umm, they definitely like jason too, i mean-they both have an affinity for leather jackets, they even asked jason to teach them how to drive a bike, jason didn’t want to accidentally get a scratch on his bike, they definitely sit in the library together and read (sometimes gossip)
spider-gotham likes everyone in the family, but i feel like they’d get along well with damian,
it’s a feeling-trust
those are all the thoughts i have right now, lmk if you wanna more abt them :3
I was thinking about doing a little blurb (Ik I say little but it likely won't be) about the Justice League accidently summoning a demon, and then proceeding to work with Demon! reader. I just figured it would be a fun little concept. I'm still working on it, but here's a teaser-ish
The "no kill" rule is honestly just a suggestion to demon! reader, and the League still has to keep them around because they're a valuable ally, and the villains are getting worse day by day.
Instead of working hard, comm conversations look a little like "Hey, Flash, if I eat this uranium core, do you think it'll make my teeth glow? It looks like rock candy."
what if they’re genuinely fed up with all the crime and are sorta pissed about being bitten,
and once they genuinely start patrolling, they’re just webbing everyone up, and asking them why they were committing crimes,
maybe if there’s like a group of thugs they web whoever’s ‘talking out of line’
months later they present the fact-based pie chart to a random interviewer,
i’m thinking
“so what’s that in your pocket?”
*wips out a whole bunch of graphs of why people were out doing crimes*
“so i’m just saying, if i don’t see any billionaires giving money to charities, i might find dirt and sue”
WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY. Going off your idea, I feel like it would be a little like:
Spider-Person accidentally develops a reputation among Gotham criminals as being worse than Batman for entirely different reasons.
Batman breaks your ribs
But this Spider Person has "crime satisfaction level" surveys
There are grown men in Blackgate who would rather take another concussion than answer "and how did that make you feel?" while suspended thirty feet above the ground in industrial-strength webbing
The first time Batman actually witnesses one of these interrogations, he expects intimidation tactics
But instead it goes down like:
Thug: "What are you doing."
Spider-Person: "Exit survey."
Thug: "Exit what."
Spider-Person: "On a scale from one to ten how satisfied were you with your criminal career."
Thug: "WHAT."
Spider-Person: already writing
"Strong emotional response. Interesting."
The rogues absolutely hate them
Because the Spider person somehow manages to escape every bit of the theatrics. Riddler spends three weeks designing a complex puzzle and Spider-Person solves it by accidentally finding the answer key while looking through public records.
Riddler has never recovered from that.
Joker tries doing his usual monologue and the Spider-person starts taking notes
Joker: "What are you doing?"
Spider-Person: "This is fascinating."
Joker: "What is?"
Spider-Person: "You're the only respondent who selected all fourteen warning signs."
Joker: "What warning signs?"
Spider-Person: "The warning signs. The mental illness ones. Congratulations, you have fourteen."
Joker: "What does that mean???"
Spider-Person: "I'm making a graph later. You're welcome to swing by..haha..see what I did there?"
Tim becomes obsessed with proving Spider-Person's data collection is flawed and ridiculous because he, himself, overcomplicated things.
Tim is furious.
"You cannot just walk around doing sociology."
Spider-Person: "I can and I am."
Gotham's billionaires eventually learn that if Spider-Person approaches them smiling, they're about to go up on a chart somewhere
Every annual report just gets worse
The first one is professional, something like Appendix A
The second one is concerned, something like Gotham's (rather poorly hidden) issue
And by the third they give up and start naming it things like..
"Respectfully, What Are We Doing Here?"
"I Have Explained This Before."
"See Previous Graph."
"For The Love Of God."
If they meet a billionaire genuinely helping people, they move on. Whatever. It's cool.
If they meet a billionaire doing absolutely nothing..congratulations! You're on appendix C. Nobody wants to end up on Appendix C.
Bruce ends up in Appendix C once. It is the most humiliating experience of his life.
Spider-Person titled it "Sir, You Have The Resources."
The Batfamily finds this so funny they never let him forget it. Especially Jason who likes to wait patiently for Bruce to fuck up.
Jason pulled a Regina George and printed copies of Appendix C. He plastered it all over the Manor.
They. Were. Everywhere.
Spider-Person eventually starts recognizing repeat offenders too & this creates a bizarre dynamic
"Kevin."
"Please don't."
"Kevin, we talked about this."
"PLEASE DON'T."
"We literally made a budget together."
Batman, watching from a rooftop: "…did they make a budget together?"
Nightwing: "Apparently."
At one point Spider-Person genuinely helps a low-level criminal find a job. And then another. And another. And it becomes a thing.
Entire sections of Gotham's criminal underworld start viewing them as some weird combination of probation officer, social worker, and cryptid
Nobody knows what category they're supposed to fit into
I think COmissioner Gordon would find this hilarious though, because hey, whatever helps the city
how do you think the batfam would recruit a spider-person who gets bitten the same day they’re picked up?
like what would their recruitment process look like, i don’t really think they’d let the spider person know everyone’s identities and sorta just keep them under tim or bruce till they don’t look like a baby deer during their patrol
How the batfam would work with/recruit a new! spider person:
A/n: This is just my opinion. Feel free to disagree, It's never that deep.
Bruce would treat the Spider-Person less like a prospective vigilante and more like a biological hazard for the first several months
The thing about Bruce is that he is actually much more cautious with metahumans than fandom sometimes portrays.
When Dick became Robin, Bruce understood what Dick was capable of. Same with Jason, Tim, Damian, and even Cass. They were extraordinarily skilled children, but they were still operating within the limits of human capability.
A Spider-Person is not...
A newly-bitten Spider-Person is arguably worse because they have enormous power with absolutely no frame of reference for it.
Bruce would be deeply concerned by the fact that the kid could accidentally kill someone long before they were worried about whether the kid could survive patrol.
I think a lot of the Batfamily would assume Bruce is being overprotective at first, but then the Spider-Person accidentally tears a sink out of the wall while trying to steady themselves or leaves fingerprints in steel after gripping too hard, and suddenly Bruce's paranoia starts looking very reasonable.
They would almost certainly be kept under Tim's supervision rather than Dick's, which would irritate literally everybody involved
Dick is the obvious emotional choice. He's patient and js generally excellent with younger heroes
That's exactly why Bruce wouldn't choose him.
Dick's greatest weakness has always been that he assumes people can do things because he can do them.
And Bruce knows this
If Dick sees the Spider-Person successfully land a ridiculous aerial maneuver once, he'll immediately start encouraging them to push themselves further.
Tim, meanwhile, has the opposite problem
Tim assumes everyone is seconds away from catastrophic failure because that's how Tim himself experiences life.
A Spider-Person under Tim's supervision would spend months listening to explanations about risk assessment, situational awareness, contingency planning, and mission parameters.
The Spider-Person would be bored out of their skull (Bruce would consider this evidence that the training is working)
Tim would become increasingly frustrated because the Spider-Person keeps bypassing problems he spent years learning to solve.
A lock that would take Tim ten minutes to crack is bypassed because the Spider-Person simply climbs onto the ceiling and enters through a vent.
An ambush Tim carefully predicted is avoided because their spider-sense goes off
I think Tim would develop a very specific kind of resentment where he simultaneously admires their abilities and finds them deeply annoying.
Every training session starts sounding a little like:
"Okay, but if you DIDN'T have superpowers, what would you do?"
And the Spider-Person keeps answering
"But I do have superpowers."
Nobody in the family would be particularly impressed by the strength tbh
The Batfamily has met kryptonians, speedsters, Amazons, Lanterns, shapeshifters, and gods so super strength isn't something...new
The mobility might be!
A Spider-Person's movement is deeply unnatural by Batfamily standards.
Because they're moving in ways that don't make intuitive sense to people who have spent years mastering conventional movement
Cass would probably be fascinated by this almost immediately because so much of her fighting style depends on reading body language. A Spider-Person can attack from angles most fighters never even consider.
Dick would be obsessed with the acrobatics.
Damian would hate the acrobatics.
Jason would pretend not to care about the acrobatics while very obviously caring about the acrobatics.
Bruce would spend weeks reviewing footage trying to understand how the hell they keep changing direction in midair and it would make him rip out his hair
The identity issue would also be ridiculous
the Batfamily's security culture is borderline absurd?
Bruce would likely compartmentalize information heavily at first. The Spider-Person might know Batman's identity due to the circumstances of being taken in, but I doubt they'd immediately get access to the entire family roster.
The problem is tho that the Batfamily is catastrophically bad at keeping secrets from people who live with them.
They're excellent at keeping secrets from enemies
But they've got a track record with roommates and not being able to keep their identities hidden.
The Spider-Person would probably figure out Nightwing's identity accidentally within weeks of knowing him because Dick Grayson has never successfully concealed anything in his life.
The only people who might genuinely maintain operational security are Bruce, Cass, and Alfred. The rest would be a disaster.
I'm also not sure if a spider-person would survive Gotham?
A lot of Spider-Man stories take place in environments where Peter can afford to make mistakes. He gets hurt, he learns, he grows from there.
That's lwk NOT how Gotham works
The Spider-Person archetype tends to be optimistic, empathetic, and people-oriented. Gotham systematically attacks all three traits.
Bruce would probably spend far more time trying to teach emotional resilience than combat
Bruce would insist because he's already watched multiple children learn these lessons the hard way and has absolutely no interest in adding another name to that list even if ALL the Spider-Person wants to do is get out on that feild.
the Spider-Person would probably become the most socially functional member of the family too (Better than Dick, even)
Not bc they're healthier or anything but solely because the bar is in hell
A typical Spider-Person talks constantly and makes friends and allies just as easy
This is witchcraft to the Waynes (well, Waynes in spirit)
Commissioner Gordon would probably end up liking them immediately.
Civilians would esp adore them
I think they'd be the most likeable of the family as well, and I think with due training they could easily be allies with the Justice League
Not wrong at all on this and I see it in the HelPol community too.
I am reading the Hemlock Cup right now and it is also making me think...why is there no politics in Hellenic Polytheism? Socrates would never comprehend living such a life in a constant state of denial of reality.
For me, if you want to be a Hellenic Polytheist, you need to engage with the world around you. Live your beliefs. Stop hiding in your spirituality and ignoring the pain going on around you. You should be taking to the streets and protesting, creating art, loving others.
This has caused a big break in my spirituality compared to most people I meet. I can no longer worship Theoi and pretend that the world is ok, it's not. I can't engage with a community who simply does not seem to care.
Tumblr keeps terminating new creators who blow up quickly for some reason. I think that might have been it ? Anyway, hope she gets her account back, I wasn't able to finish reading everything she wrote😕
SAME i was just reading something when she got deleted 😭😭
what if they’re genuinely fed up with all the crime and are sorta pissed about being bitten,
and once they genuinely start patrolling, they’re just webbing everyone up, and asking them why they were committing crimes,
maybe if there’s like a group of thugs they web whoever’s ‘talking out of line’
months later they present the fact-based pie chart to a random interviewer,
i’m thinking
“so what’s that in your pocket?”
*wips out a whole bunch of graphs of why people were out doing crimes*
“so i’m just saying, if i don’t see any billionaires giving money to charities, i might find dirt and sue”
WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY. Going off your idea, I feel like it would be a little like:
Spider-Person accidentally develops a reputation among Gotham criminals as being worse than Batman for entirely different reasons.
Batman breaks your ribs
But this Spider Person has "crime satisfaction level" surveys
There are grown men in Blackgate who would rather take another concussion than answer "and how did that make you feel?" while suspended thirty feet above the ground in industrial-strength webbing
The first time Batman actually witnesses one of these interrogations, he expects intimidation tactics
But instead it goes down like:
Thug: "What are you doing."
Spider-Person: "Exit survey."
Thug: "Exit what."
Spider-Person: "On a scale from one to ten how satisfied were you with your criminal career."
Thug: "WHAT."
Spider-Person: already writing
"Strong emotional response. Interesting."
The rogues absolutely hate them
Because the Spider person somehow manages to escape every bit of the theatrics. Riddler spends three weeks designing a complex puzzle and Spider-Person solves it by accidentally finding the answer key while looking through public records.
Riddler has never recovered from that.
Joker tries doing his usual monologue and the Spider-person starts taking notes
Joker: "What are you doing?"
Spider-Person: "This is fascinating."
Joker: "What is?"
Spider-Person: "You're the only respondent who selected all fourteen warning signs."
Joker: "What warning signs?"
Spider-Person: "The warning signs. The mental illness ones. Congratulations, you have fourteen."
Joker: "What does that mean???"
Spider-Person: "I'm making a graph later. You're welcome to swing by..haha..see what I did there?"
Tim becomes obsessed with proving Spider-Person's data collection is flawed and ridiculous because he, himself, overcomplicated things.
Tim is furious.
"You cannot just walk around doing sociology."
Spider-Person: "I can and I am."
Gotham's billionaires eventually learn that if Spider-Person approaches them smiling, they're about to go up on a chart somewhere
Every annual report just gets worse
The first one is professional, something like Appendix A
The second one is concerned, something like Gotham's (rather poorly hidden) issue
And by the third they give up and start naming it things like..
"Respectfully, What Are We Doing Here?"
"I Have Explained This Before."
"See Previous Graph."
"For The Love Of God."
If they meet a billionaire genuinely helping people, they move on. Whatever. It's cool.
If they meet a billionaire doing absolutely nothing..congratulations! You're on appendix C. Nobody wants to end up on Appendix C.
Bruce ends up in Appendix C once. It is the most humiliating experience of his life.
Spider-Person titled it "Sir, You Have The Resources."
The Batfamily finds this so funny they never let him forget it. Especially Jason who likes to wait patiently for Bruce to fuck up.
Jason pulled a Regina George and printed copies of Appendix C. He plastered it all over the Manor.
They. Were. Everywhere.
Spider-Person eventually starts recognizing repeat offenders too & this creates a bizarre dynamic
"Kevin."
"Please don't."
"Kevin, we talked about this."
"PLEASE DON'T."
"We literally made a budget together."
Batman, watching from a rooftop: "…did they make a budget together?"
Nightwing: "Apparently."
At one point Spider-Person genuinely helps a low-level criminal find a job. And then another. And another. And it becomes a thing.
Entire sections of Gotham's criminal underworld start viewing them as some weird combination of probation officer, social worker, and cryptid
Nobody knows what category they're supposed to fit into
I think COmissioner Gordon would find this hilarious though, because hey, whatever helps the city
aight, i need to know the batfam's ages... i have been searching for hours and every single page i found legit gave me a stroke because of how complex they were...
Ah, the age-old question. Or perhaps the old age question? …Never mind.
If we think ~logically~ the batfamily time line could go a little something like this:
When Bruce is 10, Alfred is 40.
When Bruce is 25, Alfred is 55, Dick is 10, Barbara is 12.
When Bruce is 32, Alfred is 62, Dick is 17, Barbara is 19, and Jason is 12.
When Bruce is 35, Alfred is 65, Dick is 20, Barbara is 22, Jason (technically dead) is 15, and Tim is 13.
When Bruce is 39, Alfred is 69, Dick is 24, Barbara is 26, Jason (now undead) is 19, Stephanie is 17, and Tim is 16.
When Bruce is 40, Alfred is 70, Dick is 25, Barbara is 27, Cassandra is 20-21, Jason is 20, Stephanie is 18, Tim is 17, and Damian is 12.
When Bruce is 42, Alfred is 72, Dick is 27, Barbara is 29, Cassandra is 22-23, Jason is 22, Stephanie is 20, Tim is 19, Duke is 17, and Damian is 14.
Phew. Okay hope that’s not totally confusing, but to me it’s a timeline that make a lot more sense than the one DC wants us to believe, with Bruce’s being always 35-40 and Dick being 30.
i have a request for our sweet baby tim and a reader who’s shy but very fucking weird, i’m talkin bones im talkin slashers, anything people will side eye for she adores (she LOVES tim’s stalkin) <3
and just how they work ya know :D
kisses smooches LOVE YA THANK YOU!!!
With A Spooky Little Girl Like You ♥️
A/n: Well now that’s just me you’re describing. Fortunately you will always be reading something filtered through the perspective of someone who has halloween decorations up year round 😌 I’ve been sick all week so I’ve been binging the classics. Halloween, Friday the 13th, Chainsaw Massacre etc. lol this request was nice I get to ramble about things I love. So I’m ngl this is very self-inserty. My opinions are your opinions now. But I have good taste I swear! Just trust me lmao
Tags: GN despite the song lyric title, sfw, we have normal fic we have bullet points we have text messages, this is a multi-media fic 😂 but it’s not very long
Tim meets you in the big fancy Gotham Public Library. He was looking through records on the microfiche. You were just sitting nearby to read but incredibly curious about the fact that someone was actually using the fucking microfiche in year of our lord 2025. So naturally, you gravitated towards him, trying to see what he was doing.
You didn’t try to speak to him, but he caught on to the ghost hovering behind his shoulder. You were cute, and looked genuinely interested in his work, so he took a chance.
“Hi?”
“Oh, uh, sorry,” you started backing away, “was just curious…”
He leaned forward, trying to compensate for the distance you just put between you two, “I could tell you about it, if you want?”
“Yeah,” you took a step back towards him, “that would be cool, uh, if you don’t mind,”
Tim smiled wide, “Cool.”
He showed you all the records he was going through, rambling on with facts about the case. And you listened so attentively, bobbing your head along with him as he regaled you, asking questions so curiously. You had him hooked.
After he had told you all he could about the case (most info is classified, of course), Tim started asking you about the books you were holding in your arms as you spoke to him. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, Stiff, and Carrie. And you told him they were comfort reads. That’s interesting. Maybe a budding mortician?
If you’re in forensics, maybe it can be like those crime shows. A detective and the coroner, standing over a body and talking over the case. But you know, much fluffier and romantic. standing over the body, talking over the case, and flirting. Surely the corpse won’t mind.
Tim could’ve talked to you for hours in that library, but some alarm went off on your watch, so you bid him a sweet farewell. Oh but Cinderella, you forgot your slipper, or, well, your sweater hanging off a nearby chair. Same difference really.
Because you’re not in elementary school, there’s no name on the tag. Nor a library card or something in the pockets. That’s fine. He’ll just scrub the library surveillance footage until he finds a good still of your face and then run you through the batcomputer’s facial recognition database. Easy peasy.
What? You thought he’d just let his new soulmate get away like that?
Oh, wow, Y/n may actually have no survival instincts. Not questioning why a librarian would give me your number and telling me where you work? Oh sweetheart...
Was what Tim thought at first. He would soon come to know in the following years of your relationship with him, however, that you were probably hoping he was going to lock you in his basement or something. Geez.
And you know how the story goes, when he meets you to give you back his sweater, you jokingly say “how could I ever repay you,” and he seriously answers, “by letting me take you on a date, of course,” and because you’re insane you say yes.
For your first date, he takes you to a cozy coffeeshop. You’re wearing the sweater he brought back to you, sipping a pumpkin pie latte that’s gonna taste so good on your lips later.
He asks you what your favorite movie is, and you shyly say Poltergeist. Tim thinks that’s so cute.
Really, it’s not like you said Human Centipede. There’s a big difference.
So of course on your second date, he asks you to come to his place for horror movie night.
Only the movies he picked out were the scariest dvds he could find. He very meticulously made sure that the lineup would make grown men cry. Silly little kids movies like Poltergeist are no where to be found.
It’s perfect. You’ll curl into him to hide. Tim gets to be the protector and still play innocent on the ‘you just wanted to cuddle me’ part. Because well, you like scary movies, right? How was he supposed to know these were too scary? 😇
But it doesn’t work. You are, uh, way too into these movies actually. But that little maniacal smile you’ve got is kinda hot tho…
🔪 Tim found out that, no, you weren’t a mortuary student, just weird. But he likes it a lot
🔪 Subtly tries to push you into exploring that field anyway tho. C’mon baby, you’d be in your element. Think of the cute flirting you could do in the forensics lab with him!
🔪 One time when he was creepin’ he watched you showing off the tracker bracelet he just gave you to your friends. You told them his stalking behaviors were sweet? Made him blush for days
🔪 Likes that he gets to be open about that with you. You’ll say “Me and my coworker went to this new pizza place for lunch today,” and he’ll say “I know,” and you’ll just giggle
🔪 Tim overhears you talking about Bauhaus with Conner, so later he asks you to introduce you to your music. Totally not bc he was jealous
🔪 He winds up liking it a lot. Bigger fan of the Cure then Baushaus, however. Will absolutely jam to Souxsie and the Banshees too and won’t do that thing guys do where they roll their eyes and call it ‘that girly shit’
🔪 You swear by Lemon Demon’s Spirit Phone though and you know what, yeah, the song about eating mummified human remains is catchy. He thinks it’s funny when you’re humming it in the grocery store with him
🔪 When you let him into your room for the first time, he sees your Masky plush on the bed and stages dramatics
*GASP* “Are you telling me I’m competing with another Tim?”
🔪 And then he finds the Ghostface doll sitting on your chair
“And you think Ghostface is hot too? Unbelievable. Next thing you’ll be telling me Scarecrow is your favorite Gotham rogue,”
“…”
*fond scoff* “What am I gonna do with you,”
🔪 Make him read creepypastas with you. He is appalled at how he ever thought these were scary (we were 10, Tim. Of course the Rake gave us nightmares 😂)
🔪 Doesn’t mind the bones. In fact, it’s great to know a good go-to gift for small occasions
🔪 100 day anniversary? Fox skull. Moving in together? A cat ribcage. Valentines? Look he got you a real human femur (legally ofc)
🔪 He’s also bankrolling your halloween decoration addiction. And letting you fulfill your dream of giving out full-sized candy bars to trick or treaters. You and Tim’s place will be Thee house every kid in the neighborhood has on their candy route
🔪 Before you knew he was Robin, he took you to family dinner. And you told Tim that you thought Bruce was a vampire because you saw a flock of bats fly past the window and Wayne Manor definitely fit the bill of a vampire castle. Plus? All the dark-haired kids he took in? Bruce is the sire and the rest of them are his brood. Are you a vampire fledgling, Tim???
🔪 Needless to say you did not drop it, even making Tim prove to you that he wasn’t a vampire. It became an inside joke. Of course, the other batkids think this is hilarious and start saying “Yes My Lord” to Bruce when he gives orders
🔪 Speaking of, Tim tries to keep you away from Jason. Very afraid that Mr. ‘I clawed my way out of my own grave’ is going to steal you from him lol
🔪 Tim calls you his ‘little ghost’ because of how you first met
