I have pondered on this many a time before and came to the conclusion that the whole Find-the-Lady game that happened with the babies was God's misdirection to drop off the Messiah when no one was expecting it, with all eyes on the Antichrist. After all "of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." (Matthew 24:36)
Let me lay out my brain logic:
Johnson is a name that comes from Son of John. John means "God is gracious". God-is-gracious-son. ("What was it he said that got everyone so upset?" "Be kind to one another")
The Christ part of Jesus Christ comes from the Greek word Christos which literally translates to anointed one. Anointing is generally done with oil. Grease is "a thick oily substance". So we have Anointed God-is-Gracious-son.
Jesus was famous for hoarding fishermen who became fishers of men and also for doing fishy miracles. Also Ichthus, a symbol still used in the church today, is a fish. Greasy Johnson won prizes for his fish.
The Antichrist was prophesied to be a rival to Christ - Greasy Johnson and the Johnsonites were rivals to the Antichrist and the Them.
Based on the Nativity stuff, Jesus was born via a human the first time around so it makes sense for the same to happen second time around (unlike Adam, as far as we know - Sister Mary asked and we never got an answer to it and he turned up in a basket)
From what I remember, when Neil and Terry mentioned the potential sequel, it was going to involve America. In the Nativity, Jesus and his family had to go back to the place where his human parents came from. If Greasy Johnson does a DNA test, it will lead him back to America and to Harriet Dowling.
iâve been driven insane by gomens 2 i just saw a bowl of vermicelli and my first thought was aziraphale. like his hair. genuinely what is wrong with me đ
Up until the almost-end-of-the-world, the way Aziraphale and Crowley maintained their relationship was through a collection of well-established and repeated patterns (dances, you might say). These little rituals were what they used to communicate affection, intimacy and trust when they couldnât say the things they wanted to say out loud. I like spending time with you. You make me happy, and I like making you happy. Weâre in this together. Iâll always be there for you, even when your own side is not.
In season 1, as the stress of the impending apocalypse puts more and more pressure on their relationship, we see their patterns start to break down, and itâs very distressing for them. Theyâve been communicating like this for so long that they donât know what to do when one of them doesnât follow the dance steps.
When we first see them in season 2, they seem in some ways to be closer than ever. They touch each other more easily, Aziraphale in particular. Crowley is comfortable enough in the bookshop that he has a Spot for putting his sunglasses when he takes them off by the door. Theyâre more open about acknowledging how much time they spend together and how many things in their lives are shared.
And I think, also, we expect them to be happy. They won, didnât they? So it takes a while for the cracks to start to show.
It wasnât until this post pointed out that the whole season, we never see them sit down and share a meal together (no, Crowley doesnât eat; yes, it still counts) that it started coming together for me. The closer you look, the more you realize the old patterns theyâre used to relying on are broken.
Three times, we see them sit down to their usual table for two (at the coffee shop, the bar, and the French restaurant) and then almost immediately get up again. This post also points out that we donât see Aziraphale eat anything on screen, other than one of the little candies in the Bentley. This in the same season we learn that Crowley is the one who introduced him to food! Itâs one of their oldest rituals!
Even one of their most visually recognizable patterns starts to go wonky this season. In season 1, when the blocking allows it, Crowleyâs always on Aziraphaleâs left. When theyâre standing or walking side by side, and most of the time when theyâre sitting side by side together (there are some exceptions due to camera angles)âŠCrowleyâs always on Aziraphaleâs left (screen right if theyâre facing us, screen left if weâre behind them). Itâs one of the clues about the body swap that is easy to see when you know what to look forâin Berkeley Square they are each initially sitting on the âwrongâ side of the bench. Itâs so reliable that Aziraphale hears a little miracle bling in the sushi restaurant in s1 ep1 and turns to his leftâbecause thatâs where Crowley would appearâonly to be startled by Gabriel on his right.
Go look at the scene where we find out Gabriel and Beez are a couple. You know the one.
And of course, many people have noted that in the end credits, weâd expect their positions on screen to be switched. Theyâre on the wrong sides. And itâs such a long shot that I think it has to be intentional.
Some people have speculated that this means they swapped bodies again. I donât really buy that. Rather I think it is supposed to indicate what becomes extremely clear on a second viewing, that things are Off and Wrong. They are not okay.
And the more you watch them you see that Aziraphaleâs excitement during his little adventures is manic and brittle, and that he misses having a place and a purpose and a mission to do good. And Crowley is depressed, unhealthily codependent, even more hypervigilant and cagey and angry than he was before. They both have layers and layers of trauma, and no way to talk about it. They have the time and freedom now to talk about what they want to be to each other, now that they donât have to hide and encode and maintain plausible deniability. But they have no way to talk about that either, because thatâs never been an option before. They donât know how, and they are both so, so afraid.
And in the fights they have in episode 1 and episode 6, you realize they havenât resolved anything from season 1. Theyâre having the same fight they had at the bandstand. Crowley wants to run, keep the two of them safe and damn the rest, and Aziraphale wants to stay and help, believing he can make a difference even in an imperfect system, and neither of them really understands the otherâs position. Itâs the same damn fight. They havenât been able to move past this impasse, and itâs the exact thing that breaks them in the end.
And itâs just. Fuck. Itâs such a human thing to have happened to them. To make it through the fire (metaphorical and literal) and then have everything go to shit afterward because of unaddressed traumas and insecurities and things left unsaid until they fester.
I know this is not at all how I expected the season to go, and I think it took a little while for me to parse what was going with their relationship, because we are predisposed to want them to be happy and to want things to be easy for them now. But it makes so much sense that this is where they ended up at this point in the story.
I know theyâll make it back to each other. They both love each other too much to give up. Theyâll fight their way back together, and I know theyâll figure it out in the end.
So there's a lot to unpack here but I want to start by talking about the ending and specifically about the Metatron and the calculating moves made at the end of episode 6.
Every single piece of what happened there was a manipulation technique being employed against Aziraphale to an almost brilliant degree and I'm honestly a little obsessed with what this says about the Metatron in particular.
Let's go in order.
First of all. We see him order coffee. In a human body. Something sweet and sugary. He talks to Nina and asks her about her shop name. Does anyone ever ask for death? And when she tells him no they don't his response is to say "so predictable". Our introduction to him here even when everything about him reads like a sweet old man is presented to show us someone who reads the world in terms of being predictable to him.
He then shows up in the middle of Aziraphale's existence being threatened. He immediately cuts down the threat's authority (using outdated language like Az himself would favor) and reemphasizes his own connection to Heaven. When Michael doesn't recognize him and he puts her down and then directly engages Crowley. Crowley who, to Aziraphale, has for centuries at a minimum been someone he thinks is smarter, better, more Good than these other archangels. The Metatron validates these beliefs. Crowley is more Heavenly than these archangels who couldn't even recognize the voice of God when he was standing right in front of them.
The Metatron draws attention to the fact he's in a human body. The kind of body Aziraphale has been in and loved for nearly 6000 years. He then banishes the archangels, implying their morality is in a gray space, and validates Muriel someone we have seen Aziraphale react positively to and someone outside the current power structure. Look at me, he's saying. I see and validate the little guy.
He then tries to talk to Aziraphale. Aziraphale says "I've made my position quite clear." And then the Metatron offers Aziraphale the coffee. This bartering chip, consuming sustenance, is a thing that Aziraphale and Crowley have used as their connective tissue for centuries. It's an olive branch for them. It's giving Aziraphale bodily pleasure and the Metatron implies that he himself has partaken also - a thing we know that Aziraphale has struggled historically with moralizing. He is seen by the closest thing he has left to his parent and he is having old fears validated as safe and old habits being played upon to make him feel secure
He then REMOVES Aziraphale from his home turf. Not only does he remove Crowley from the equation but he takes Aziraphale from the place that has stood as a place of sanctuary throughout the entirety of the season. The shop is Safe and Aziraphale is leaving it and he is leaving the one person who might be able to smell the bullshit coming from the Metatron. The music notably turns absolutely dire here.
The next time we see them the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he doesn't need to answer instantly. He can take his time, if he likes. All the time he needs. And then tells him to go tell Crowley. Once again bringing Crowley in as a valid part of this while manufacturing a scenario where he can't possibly be.
Az ends up in a place where he's overwhelmed and confused and he wants so badly to believe what he's being told. It's an appealing thing from his perspective! He feels off kilter like he's made a mistake in judging the Metatron. He can't even fully articulate what happened to Crowley at first and he's had absolutely no real time to actually think it through. He's running on sheer reactive energy.
The Metatron starts their conversation by asking Aziraphale's opinion. Who should rule Heaven? This is once again playing into making Az feel validated and like he's a part of this decision making process. The Metatron corrects him, complimenting Aziraphale and making him feel capable and in control. He reassures Aziraphale's bafflement. And draws attention to some traits that, while true of Aziraphale around Crowley, are not his defining traits in the eyes of Heaven. You don't just tell people what they want to hear I find particularly notable in this regard given Aziraphale spent most of his time on earth actively lying to Heaven and doing just that. But it fits into the narrative Aziraphale has built around himself, especially post Apocalypse. The Metatron then says I need you (a phrase Az will use much more painfully here in a minute).
And even after all this Aziraphale says no. He says flat out he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He says this!!! And then the Metatron sweetens the pot. He swaps tactics. Not once has this come up until Aziraphale pushes back against the idea. If the Metatron could've gotten him without using it I have no doubt he wouldn't have bothered with it. Come to Heaven and we can save Crowley. Aziraphale loves Crowley. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is better than any of the angels he's interacted with. Crowley is Good and Nice and Kind and always saving him and now he's being presented with a way to return that. He can Forgive Crowley - a thing Crowley has always presented to Aziraphale as something he struggles with. All of these things Aziraphale has watched Crowley react to in a way that belittles himself or distances them from one another. Of course he wouldn't consider that maybe what he was actually saying is "I'm unforgivable and I don't want that forgiveness."
The Metatron offers Aziraphale a Dream Offer for the pre Armageddon Aziraphale. You can keep your Crowley. You can heal him like you have always thought he deserved. You can have power and control the people who for your whole existence has beaten you down. It can go back to how it was but BETTER.
When Aziraphale leaves he still hasn't answered. He goes and has the conversation they have. It's intense and emotional and the Metatron comes in after the Moment all casual and asks how it goes, knowing fully well the shitstorm he had just set up to get created. And then he turns around and says "always did want to go his own way" which is not only true of Crowley but framed as a bad thing despite the fact that he has just spent twenty minutes or so telling Aziraphale that he's done his own thing and that is Good. He is playing both sides of this perspective as it suits him. And then he cuts down Crowley asking questions, pressuring Aziraphale to avoid doing the same. He then proceeds to ask Aziraphale not if he's made up his mind but if he's ready to get started. He is one by one closing off exit routes to this thing as Aziraphale starts to look more and more panicked and indecisive. He makes sure the bookshop is in good hands and asks Aziraphale if there's anything he needs to take with him. Letting Aziraphale have the illusion of choice while cutting down "I don't want to" as an option altogether.
And Az, as soon as the Metatron is out of shot, tries to express this. And then he falls back right on old coping methods. The Metatron pats him on the head. Reassures that he's the right one for this. That he is Good. That his particular skillset is needed here.
It is a masterstroke of manipulation. A very dark twist on what we see Crowley do time and time again with Aziraphale throughout the millennia. Familiar in a way that makes Aziraphale feel safe. Except this time this is being used to put him back in line. It's brilliant and painful and it fucking hurt and I need a season 3 to see the Metatron get what's coming to him stat.
most insane lines for me were "you don't understand what i'm offering you" "i think i understand more than you do". implying that aziraphale is holding crowley's feelings as leverage to get him to do what aziraphale wants, to be with him in the way aziraphale wants them to be and thinks they'll be the most happy. insane. insane! of course crowley had to kiss him after that. if you are going to use this against me then i will make sure that if you chose this path, you know what you have lost
aziraphale sliding his hand down crowley's chest while he tells him his drink choice at the pub. aziraphale, joyous, excited, pulling crowley with him by the hand to go dancing together p&p style. aziraphale grasping desperately at crowley's arm as he watches others' love from afar, and his hand continuing to reach out to crowley even as he walks away a moment later. aziraphale's hands slowly melting onto crowley's back during Every. then afterward, aziraphale's hand trembling as he lifts it to his own lips.
Some of the subtle clues that Aziraphale and Crowley switched bodies
Bonus - not so subtle anymore, where âCrowleyâ is sitting prim and proper and âAziraphaleâ kind of lying on the bench (plus their reverse sitting position)
Bonus 2:
Bonus 3: We usually see Aziraphale under the sign E (east), but âAziraphaleâ under the opposite W (west)
There are three things you can watch forever: fire burning, water falling, and Crowleyâs sneaky attempts at saying âAziraphale, you are unique and I love youâ.
Also, I made my first shitty gifs. Iâm still inexplicably proud of myself.
I like the first one because Crowley is totally showing off his own silver tongue. Immediately after Aziraphale expresses admiration for Shakespeareâs work, Crowley rattles off something the Bard himself thinks worthy of writing down. This guy. You just KNOW this bitch writes poetry. How many sappy sonnets heâs written for Aziraphale and either published under pseudonyms or burned in shame after sobering up, weâll never know.
I like the second one because itâs passing as annoyance, and part of it is, but itâs also very overtly, âI gotta hand it to you, nobody else would have called it that, ever. How you manage to be so uniquely infuriating fascinates me.â
Yes! Also, as @insaneshell once pointed out, he says the first one right after Aziraphale praises Burbage. Itâs such a petty move on Crowleyâs part. âHe may be good, but look at me, Iâm so much betterâ.
reblog this if youâre jewish or your blog is a safe space for jewish people
in light of recent events as well as a new rise in creating nazi ocs I think this post is an important one to have on your blog if you stand behind your jewish followers or are jewish yourself.
many people canât read small text: âin light of recent events as well as a new rise in creating nazi ocs I think this post is an important one to have on your blog if you stand behind your jewish followers or are jewish yourself.â
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