clover j. gardener, word-person

they/them, nonwhite, asexual, professional human (icon by @mercuryytheraven and worm by @disco-wyrm)

[goodluckclove]

Clover Jean Gardener - "Professional" "Writer" of "Books" "and" "Plays"

It is comical for me to do an intro post at this point but I figure it might be helpful for people who want them links. Them good good links.

So hello! My name is Clover Jean Gardener, and I'm a queer, PDX-based novelist and playwright. I am here, on Tumblr, where I ramble on the regular and post development updates of what I'm working on. You can also find me on the following links.

Writer Website

Letterboxd

Storygraph

[goodluckclove]

Boots Riley’s Next Film, ‘Mr. Burns,’ Will Reimagine a ‘Simpsons’ Episode as a Post-Apocalyptic Dark Comedy — World of Reel

Boots Riley has confirmed that he has a new film in the works, and it’s an adaptation of Anne Washburn’s, “Mr. Burns: A Post‑Electric Pl

I just want everyone to know that when this happens I am going to be insufferable about it for at least a week beforehand and afterwards.

To say this is a dream come true is inaccurate. This is an artistic collaboration so ideal to me I would never even think to fantasize about it.

[goodluckclove]

Also bringing this up to my buddy has made me realize that it is not a universal thing to have seen Sorry to Bother You. So here's a sign for you to watch Sorry to Bother You! It's potentially available to you on Kanopy depending on the region! Go in as blind as you possibly can!

It is not an entirely flawless movie when it comes to narrative structure. But it is Riley's directorial debut and I think it is inarguable that he comes out of the gate pulling some fucking unbelievable moves.

[goodluckclove]

Boots Riley’s Next Film, ‘Mr. Burns,’ Will Reimagine a ‘Simpsons’ Episode as a Post-Apocalyptic Dark Comedy — World of Reel

Boots Riley has confirmed that he has a new film in the works, and it’s an adaptation of Anne Washburn’s, “Mr. Burns: A Post‑Electric Pl

I just want everyone to know that when this happens I am going to be insufferable about it for at least a week beforehand and afterwards.

To say this is a dream come true is inaccurate. This is an artistic collaboration so ideal to me I would never even think to fantasize about it.

[goodluckclove]

Can someone remind me how my wife is a vegetarian, so I definitely shouldn't make spam musibi because that means I will have about six musibis that only I will be able to eat?

[fenmere]

OK! So, apparently your wife is vegetarian, in case you forgot that. 😉

This means that you should probably think twice about making spam musibi, because someone informs us that it will make six musibis that only you will be able to eat.

But, maybe you can, like, leave them on a neighbor's porch like zucchini?

[goodluckclove]

mmm bold of you to assume i will only ever think twice about anything my friend.

[goodluckclove]

Can someone remind me how my wife is a vegetarian, so I definitely shouldn't make spam musibi because that means I will have about six musibis that only I will be able to eat?

[goodluckclove]

I don't know if people here are keeping up with the current unbelievable scandals surrounding Bricks and Minifigs. But watching the first part of the Reckless Ben documentary one of my main takeaways was that CEO Ammon McNeff looks and talks like a Bizzaro doppelganger of Brennen Lee Mulligan.

This is hard to justify just in photos. But at some point when Reckless Ben is talking to him, Ammon's face just stops and he lets out a little sigh and says "okay" in that tone Brennen always uses during the parts in Game Changer where he's just about to lose it.

[goodluckclove]

The one upside in taking as long as I have to finish book two of my series is that I've moved away from my plans to have Scott Skylark Kaufner join a fight club in book three.

That was definitely going to be like a big part of his arc in the next book. And I no longer remember why but I do now think that's just a laughably terrible path for his character.

[goodluckclove]

Terminally Therapy-Pilled Guy With Early-Onset Hip Arthritis: I am going to join a fight club and get so good at fighting and beat up just everyone I see.

[goodluckclove]

The one upside in taking as long as I have to finish book two of my series is that I've moved away from my plans to have Scott Skylark Kaufner join a fight club in book three.

That was definitely going to be like a big part of his arc in the next book. And I no longer remember why but I do now think that's just a laughably terrible path for his character.

[goodluckclove]

I think Hasee Bounce is objectively the best and most enjoyable Neopets game, with the caveat of its soundtrack.

I did not really notice this as a kid, but revisiting the old Flash-era relic has forced me to realize that the soundtrack to Hasee Bounce is, inexplicably, like thirty seconds long at most. It is thirty seconds that loops for however long you're able to extend a run - potentially a few minutes if you're really good.

This is. It's just untenable to me. A truly baffling choice.

[hottdoggblogg]

[goodluckclove]

I typed up a long response to your F1 ask but I think Tumblr ate it when I hit post :/ need to emotionally recover before trying again 👍

I'm excited to hear whether Ferrari is a human driver or mainly just a car.

[goodluckclove]

I am newly trying to form a basic understanding of at least all the major sports. And after asking a Baseball Friend about Baseball I woke up still thinking about that time Randy Johnson exploded a bird.

He hit a baseball so hard that it exploded a passing bird. And for some reason (Adderal still kicking in, probably) I found myself frustrated that he didn't do more to "make amends".

Only at some point I thought about that opinion and asked myself what Randy Johnson could've possibly done to apologize. Or even, who he would apologize to.

My conclusion was that, in my sleep addled state, I was assuming there was some sort of nonprofit he could've donated to. Perhaps a nonprofit that works to teach birds what baseball is and why they shouldn't fly super low during active baseball games.

[goodluckclove]

Hey is there a Sports-Knowing community here that could explain how someone with genuinely no real awareness of a sport can start to learn the basics of its history and notable players?

Like if I were to want to gain a surface level understanding of baseball, how would I do that? If I wanted to be able to comprehend the basics of soccer and its legacy, like - where would I even start? Should I just skim the Wikipedia entry for whatever sport I don't want to be laughably ignorant of???

[goodluckclove]

Literally if you follow me and you are well-versed in any sport, where would you point someone wanting to get an introduction? And I mean any sport. If you are super hyped about water polo and I were to say I have a very murky concept of water polo that feels wrong to me, where would you point me towards to start learning?

[metautske]

Im not sure about beginner friendly play by play explanations during a game, but i do feel like record books (a la ripleys or something) focused on sports accomplishments might be cool to see legacy maybe? Honestly with baseball it just took me watching a bunch of games and just cold plunging into it for me to pick up the basics. Still iffy on soccer. Football is about the same as baseball but less fun for me

[goodluckclove]

"football is about the same as baseball" hey man so like what the fuck do you mean by that??? They seem like REALLY different games to me????

Like I assumed the venn diagram between those two sports to be two completely separate circles.

[goodluckclove]

@metautske was kind enough to let me ask a lot of my baseball questions, and it turns out most of them were Bird Explosion Related.

Imagine you do your job so effectively that a bird explodes.

[goodluckclove]

Hey is there a Sports-Knowing community here that could explain how someone with genuinely no real awareness of a sport can start to learn the basics of its history and notable players?

Like if I were to want to gain a surface level understanding of baseball, how would I do that? If I wanted to be able to comprehend the basics of soccer and its legacy, like - where would I even start? Should I just skim the Wikipedia entry for whatever sport I don't want to be laughably ignorant of???

[goodluckclove]

Literally if you follow me and you are well-versed in any sport, where would you point someone wanting to get an introduction? And I mean any sport. If you are super hyped about water polo and I were to say I have a very murky concept of water polo that feels wrong to me, where would you point me towards to start learning?

[metautske]

Im not sure about beginner friendly play by play explanations during a game, but i do feel like record books (a la ripleys or something) focused on sports accomplishments might be cool to see legacy maybe? Honestly with baseball it just took me watching a bunch of games and just cold plunging into it for me to pick up the basics. Still iffy on soccer. Football is about the same as baseball but less fun for me

[goodluckclove]

"football is about the same as baseball" hey man so like what the fuck do you mean by that??? They seem like REALLY different games to me????

Like I assumed the venn diagram between those two sports to be two completely separate circles.

[goodluckclove]

Hey is there a Sports-Knowing community here that could explain how someone with genuinely no real awareness of a sport can start to learn the basics of its history and notable players?

Like if I were to want to gain a surface level understanding of baseball, how would I do that? If I wanted to be able to comprehend the basics of soccer and its legacy, like - where would I even start? Should I just skim the Wikipedia entry for whatever sport I don't want to be laughably ignorant of???

[goodluckclove]

Literally if you follow me and you are well-versed in any sport, where would you point someone wanting to get an introduction? And I mean any sport. If you are super hyped about water polo and I were to say I have a very murky concept of water polo that feels wrong to me, where would you point me towards to start learning?

[goodluckclove]

Hey is there a Sports-Knowing community here that could explain how someone with genuinely no real awareness of a sport can start to learn the basics of its history and notable players?

Like if I were to want to gain a surface level understanding of baseball, how would I do that? If I wanted to be able to comprehend the basics of soccer and its legacy, like - where would I even start? Should I just skim the Wikipedia entry for whatever sport I don't want to be laughably ignorant of???

[goodluckclove]

When I was younger I went to New Orleans for a week on my own. Stayed in a hostel, didn't do a huge amount of the traditionally Touristy stuff. But for the first three days I was there I lived entirely off of gumbo. I had gumbo once for the first time, and my brain went cool so I'll just eat this and only this forever. And then on my fourth day I woke up in a stupor that was only cured by walking to a nearby market and buying a single cucumber that I ate on the curb like an apple.

I assumed that this was a mistake I would no longer make nearly ten years after the fact. But I got back from a weekend in Seattle yesterday and felt myself crash in a way that seemed rather unusual. And so I did my usual internal scan, which includes asking myself what I've had to eat that day.

And that is when I realized that, over the course of my three-day trip, my main source of food was a baguette of bread and a container of compound butter. It wasn't all I ate. There were some other snacks here and there. But for some reason, Traveller Clove was fully convinced that they were fine to go that long primarily fueled off of bread and butter.

They were thrilled about it, actually. They could've easily not have done that. Something in their brain was just like yeah I could get a Meal at a Place. But the compound butter in the hostel fridge. Has chives in it. Also I have a nectarine.