some kind of monster @goodnighttechnologist - Tumblr Blog

the music, the turn, the delayed stare. this is true comedy in highest form.

Megan: [speaking in a nasally, stuck up voice] Ha! You can’t sit with us.

Floral shirt: [equally nasally, upbeat] Actually, Megan, I can’t sit anywhere. I have [jump cut, sick beat distantly playing] hemorrhoids!

only1600kids

56blogsstillcrazy

He too real for these fake kids

senpatriarch

Look into his eyes and see the savagery already brewing. This kid is gonna roast people to death before he gets out of 4th grade.

simsgonewrong

Oh lord….

audrocur-deactivated20221128

I can’t wait

You know what I just realized? Patrick killed people.

Patrick killed a lot of people.

foxbabies

and then things got unholy

plant-scans

Bell glass with plants, The Window Gardener, 1889

pr1nceshawn

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

hiddlesherethereeverywhere

THIS IS IMPORTANT

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.