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@gorgeousnightmare0724
Polyamory does not equal promiscuity.
Monogamy vs Polyamory
A past relationship ended because he wanted monogamy and I wanted something open/poly.
He felt as if loving someone else means LESS love to give to your primary partner.
The thought of love as a finite resource depresses me.
I view it more like a campfire - you can warm one, two, five, or possibly more people with the same fire.
If you’re sitting by the fire, adding another person beside you does not make it any LESS warm for you. I think love is the same.
Curious what others believe? Does an open/poly relationship divide your attention & divide your heart, or does love grow when people are added - like lighting multiple candles from the same original flame?
I like this metaphor.
I don’t think there’s a single answer to whether polyamory divides your attention/heart or whether love grows. I think different people are different, and that’s why monogamy is right for some people and polyamory is right for others.
Even for those monogamous people who would recognize the validity of the campfire metaphor, some would say they just have a two-seater campfire, and that’s okay. What’s frustrating is when people don’t recognize the validity of metaphors like this and the reality that some people’s campfires are bigger.
Going on dates to the same place with different people in the same week
I don’t know, probably going to hell, wbu? 💅
I'm super in love with these
https://www.instagram.com/thepersonalquotes/
follow for daily posts
But you can start where you are and change the ending…..
a pro of polyam people raising kids??? multiple incomes = more financial stability
Another pro: More parents means the kid will have more people spending time with themA possible con (for the kid): too many dad jokes, endless “go ask you [other parent]” loop
followers feel free to add more
So you think you can Dom?
You walk through a room with a commanding presence, confident in your superiority, you can leave a perfect handprint on a sub’s ass, and you’ve got a killer suit with great cuff links.
Tell me about your ethics.
Tell me how you calm a sub who is in the midst of a panic attack at work.
Regale me with a passed experience where you made the choice to be selfless for the care of another.
Better yet, tell me about a time you failed and how you grew from it to never make the mistake again.
Being a Dom isn’t just having confidence, a sharp look, and a firm hand. You are never as Dominant as when you are caring for your submissive. The tough talk and bluster will only get you far enough to give a sub an experience she will walk away from knowing what she doesn’t want. You want to be a Dom? Be a gentleman first and foremost. Shed the ego, it has no place here. This is a call to the gentleman Dom’s, the Daddy Dom’s, the Masters, the real Dominants. Stand up and let’s show the unowned, the newly awakened, and those submissives hurting and ready to give up that they have hope. That there is still a chivalrous and steadfast order of worthy Dominants ready to care, nurture, protect, and punish from a position of power and passion granted by those with the boundless wells of strength, devotion, and love.
Well Done!! Believe it!!
Caring for a Submissive through any and All conditions IS being her Dom. It also goes both ways.
Trust from open and honest communication.
Well said
Do you feel Dominant when you cook your submissive breakfast because she’s running late and you want to be sure she eats? Do you feel Dominant when you’re pumping her gas because you know how much she hates it? Do you feel Dominant when you remind her to drive safe, drink water and wash her face before bed? You should because it’s about all those things too!
All of this ^^^
Polyamorous people who are single are still polyamorous.Â
Polyamorous people who have never been in a polyamorous relationships are still polyamorous.Â
Polyamorous people who don’t want relationships are still polyamorous.
Polyamorous people who are in a monogamous relationship are still polyamorous.Â
Polyamorous people in poly-fidelitous relationships are still polyamorous.Â
Polyamorous people are polyamorous no matter the way their relationships look. It is about what you feel, not what you do.Â
Metamours and Communication
Ah metamours - one of the most intriguing parts of polyamory, and I don’t even have one (although I have in the past).
Talking to your metamour: yay or nay?
Well, it really depends on you, your metamour, and your partner, in that order.
If you don’t want to talk to your metamour, you are not obligated to.  No one can force you to.
If your metamour doesn’t want to talk to you, you can’t force them to talk to you, even if you really want it.
If your partner doesn’t want you talking to your metamour…. they really can’t stop you.
Of course, relationships are all about communication and compromise.  Sometimes, talking to a metamour is a good idea, as it can resolve issues.  Sometimes, people don’t want to talk to their metamours.  It’s been my experience that metamours who at least speak to each other once or twice during bigger issues that may arise, or near the start, tend to end up having better relationships with their shared partner.  BUT, that’s just my experience - so take my recommendations with a grain of salt. My two partners are both good friends with each other and part of the same groups of friends, and that works really well for them.  Of course, metamours who aren’t that can also have great relationships, even only talking once or twice.
I like having metamours who I get along with, but I don’t consider that something that’s under my control (or something that should be), it’s just awesome when it happens.
A few weeks back on another post there was a discussion comparing metamours to family, and maybe more specifically, step-family: you don’t get to choose them, but someone you love did choose them, so you just hope they’ve got reasonably good judgment! (I tend to choose partners who have good partner selection skills themselves, so I don’t worry too much.)
People need to stop sexualizing polyamory. They need to stop calling it kinky and sex and slut shaming polyam people. The sexualization of polyamory is just as heinous as the sexualization of lgbt identities and it does the same things. It endangers polyamorous minors, it alienates polyamorous asexuals, puts polyamorous people at higher risk of sexual harassment, and isolates polyamorous people in a world that believes they are sexual deviants. Polyamory is about love, commitment, and devotion and degrading it by writing it off as a sexual thing is both incorrect and horribly cruel.
[Polyamory] isn’t dividing your heart into multiple sections. Loving someone else doesn’t mean I love your father less. It’s like having kids; instead of dividing my love between you, I have separate units of love for each of you.
My mother, upon telling me that she and my dad are polyamorous and have an open marriage three years ago (via denarilah)
This.
(via my-polylife-ramblings)