little polyamorous things

If you need polyamory advice, go here or to the polyfam discord, this isn't me saying this blog isn't for this, this is me admitting my weaknesses and wanting you to gethelp from someone(s) that can actually help. A blog by a polyam about being polyam. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows (though if you're polyam and want more sunshine and rainbows, my submit and ask are open). Made partly because there's not enough poly rep and mostly because I'm tried of people not including the little things that make poly relationships real in their stories and fanfiction. Consider this a poly resource, and maybe also writing advice.

[just-polyam-things]

Hello, I'm taking a cultural anthropology class and I've decided to do a study on the polyamorous community. Even though I'm part of the polyam community, there is still much I have to learn about the ups and downs of polyamory. If you or any partners or any polyam people you know would be up for an interview of sorts, please contact me via tumblr. If not, please feel free to help me spread the word! Thank you for your time -- Shepherd (he/him)

I don’t know anyone in particular, but I’ll post this ask so if anyone following me is up for it, they can talk to you. ^_^

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things #063

when you’re upset with yourself because “I can’t even get one person to love me, and I still want more!”

[just-polyam-things]

fun poly thing : between dating and qpps i realized literally all my current friends are connected by partners :D

That’s amazing :D

[just-polyam-things]

What would you do if you were in a completely monogamous relationship with someone you love more than anything but feeling depressed because, since finding out you were polyam, you've always imagined your future being in a 3 girl 1 boy Quad family. Then when you try to ask people for advice (even other polyam people), they say you're just a fuck boy?

I have no idea when this ask was sent, so I’m probably late answering, but in all honesty, I won’t be much help here as my experiences are too different for me to draw any knowledge for this from. I can try to help. 

First thing I would do is talk to my partner about it, because relationships don’t work without communication and if one of you is unhappy then things are going to go wrong. 

The second thing I would do is check exactly what it is your asking them when asking for advice, because it could just be your wording that’s making them say that, or it could just be that they’re being insensitive. Without knowing them, and you, and what you’re asking, I can’t really say for sure. 

The third thing I’d do is accept that while dreams and fantasies can come true, that it’s possible in the future you might be happy with something else than what you were expecting. You may find one day that you don’t mind there being another guy as long as you’re not required to be anything more than just his friend. You might find that three girls is too many, and two is just fine. You might find any number of things have changed. Accept this might happen, it doesn’t mean it will, it doesn’t mean you’re settling, but it will (probably) give you hope that maybe even if The Dream™ doesn’t come true you’ll still be happy.

The last and most important thing I would do is accept that some people are going to call you a fuckboy no matter what you do. I mentioned to a customer at work that I have more than one girlfriend (I wasn’t actually talking to her, I was talking to another cashier) and she called me a fuckboy and I’m not even a boy. That is just something you have to accept that some people will say. People say rude things, insensitive things, stereotyping things, but that doesn’t mean they’re right to say them. It doesn’t mean that’s what you are. It’s just their opinion, it can be wrong, but arguing with them will just make them believe it more and isn’t worth the trouble usually. 

I know I’m not really a lot of help, probably. But that’s what I’d do at least. I hope it helps even a little. (Followers, please be nice to the boy, and offer any advice you might have.)

[just-polyam-things]

Thank you! That’s the guy. I should be able to find the post from here. For context (bc I know the request was random) I’m not sure if I’m poly. l’m comfortable with open sexual relationships but have always seen myself as a one love kinda guy. My partner just came out as poly & wants to evolve our open sexual relationship. I’m having difficulty accepting that our relationship as we knew it is over & also accepting a new guy (his sexual partner and new love interest) into our relationship.

I’m glad we could be of help. I hope everything goes well for you and your partner

[just-polyam-things]

Hey there I’m looking for a poly blog that I can’t seem to find. It is written by a woman and her male partner is a writer. I want to say his name was Mr New York or something. I know this is very little to go by, but she wrote a post about looking back on his struggles accepting one of her partners. It really resonated with me and I’m to find it again. Thanks

if any of my followers can help this person out, please do.

[just-polyam-things]

a pro of polyam people raising kids??? multiple incomes = more financial stability

Another pro: More parents means the kid will have more people spending time with themA possible con (for the kid): too many dad jokes, endless “go ask you [other parent]” loop

followers feel free to add more

[just-polyam-things]

Is it okay for me to follow if I'm not completely sure if I'm polyamorous?

yes :3

[just-polyam-things]

polyam thing! thankfully saw that my partner's sweetie was about to get her the same holiday gift as i was- a tshirt from a tv show we all love. then she said that she had extras and is now sending us two :)

that’s adorable!

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things: #062

when you want to make an awesome color-coded diagram of all the significant relationships in your life, but you have to keep adding onto it cause you keep having feelings for more cool people 💕

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things #061

Eat boyfriend's brunch leftovers from a date with your mutual girlfriend 

Go to her place for a date with her partner 

proceed to eat her leftovers as well 

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things #060

that even when ur single all ur thoughts about future relationships are beging content wth multiple partners

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things #059

The pleasant joy you get when you start picking out presents for your partners on gift giving holidays like Christmas and Valentine's Day.

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things #058

When you explain that yes, you’re poly even though you are single, and no, that doesn’t mean you date anyone who asks. I’m poly, but I still have standards.

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things #057

When you and your boyfriend have been having a mutual crush on the same guy for months and when one of you finally has the guts to tell him he’s open to it!

[just-polyam-things]

just polyam things #056

The confused looks you get in school when you’re sitting with your two bfs being gay together

[just-polyam-things]

Just Polyam things #055

When your parents don’t really ‘get’ it but they support you anyways!