A Look at Love - Jinyoung
He was clad in his leather jacket with a white button-up dress shirt under that he paired with black jeans and Vans. He wasn’t one to club, but the guys told him it’d be good for him to have some fun instead of coop himself in his room.
“Hyung, it’ll be fun.” Yugyeom, the youngest who was finally going to experience the club life, reassured. “Don’t think too much.”
Mark came by and nudged the weary one. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink when we get there.”
Jinyoung tried to turn up his mood, but it wasn’t working. All he kept thinking about was how things went down between the two of you. He couldn’t even pinpoint what the problem was that led to the break. He wasn’t a believer in breaks and neither were you, but it was better to leave it like that than an official breakup for the time being.
Jinyoung was so deep in thought about you that he didn’t even realize he was at the front of the line of the club until he felt a boney elbow nudge his arm.
“Jinyoungie,” Mark called out, his voice full of concern. Blinking away his memories of you, Jinyoung smiled fondly at Mark, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Despite Jinyoung’s attempt at feigning content though, Mark saw right through his friend’s acting. “The guy wants to see your ID.”
“Oh!” Jinyoung hastily reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his wallet, flipping it open for the bouncer. The bouncer checked the birth date and then gave Jinyoung a terse nod, followed by a stamp of the club’s logo on Jinyoung’s right hand.
“Finally!” Yugyeom exclaimed, all too eager to show his ID to the bouncer. The dancing machine had been waiting way too long to finally show off his moves on the dance floor, and he was excited to buy his first club drink as well. Jinyoung smiled sadly at the maknae, wishing he could be just as happy and full of life as the younger, but for now, he would just have to pretend for his friends’ sakes.
He wasn’t really the kind to go to clubs and get drunk. He much preferred quiet nights at home, reading a book with you in his lap. He shook his head as his thoughts led to dangerous places once again. He had to stay distracted, he had to keep his mind off you, but between the alcohol and the pounding music, he could only find himself in his head.
“Can we get another drink?” Mark called out, batting his eyelashes at the bartender. Even though the man serving drinks was straight, he couldn’t resist Mark’s pretty face, so Mark ended up ordering everyone else drinks, since he was the only one who could seem to distract the bartender from all the pretty girls around.
Mark passed the drink to Jinyoung, smiling as best as he could. “Here. Drink this. It’ll loosen you up and help you forget.” Mark placed his hand on Jinyoung’s thigh and gave him a reassuring squeeze.
Jinyoung didn’t want to forget, though. He wanted to remember and try to find the moment that broke the relationship in the first place, but he complied, pouring the poison down his throat so maybe he could have just a moment of peace. “I don’t want to be on a break,” he whispered to himself. There was no way anyone could hear his words over the blasting music, but Jinyoung continued anyway. “I want to be arguing with her, trying to figure out how it came to this, how we could fix it. If we were arguing, then it would mean we a chance.” What if this break turns into something more? Jinyoung didn’t dare say this part allowed, afraid it just might be true.
You wandered into the club, your best gal pals walking with their arms looped around yours. Mostly to ensure you wouldn’t change your mind and run back to the car. “You guys, I don’t think this is where I should be right now” you sighed in exasperation. “Yes, Y/N, this is where you should be! All you’ve done is stayed cooped up in your room, binge watching Netflix, and eating bags of chips!” your friend widened her eyes at you. “HEY, I enjoy doing those things” you stuck your tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes at you but pulled you towards the club anyway.
“You’re a single lady now, so just loosen up, will you?” she pouted at you. It was her birthday and her one wish was for you to come out with her to the club. You and Jinyoung recently declared a break and going out was the last thing on your mind. Besides, you hated clubs. Guys were always grimy, the music was always too loud, short, tight dresses made you feel incredibly vulnerable, and heels were just not your forte. But you did it for her. “Fine, fine” you murmured, nodding.
Upon entering, you all beelined for the bar, wanting to get some of that infamous liquid courage coursing through your bodies. “Quite the crowd” you raised your eyebrows as you saw multiple women crowded the bar, shouting for the bartender. “Right?” your friend furrowed her brow. “Anything I can get for you, ladies?” a bartender entered your line of sight. Finding yourself startled, you ordered the first drink you could think of, “I’ll have a tequila sunrise” “Got it” he nodded before wandering off.
You took a look around the club, gauging the vibes and atmosphere it gave off. “It sure is poppin’ tonight” another friend shouted over the music. “They must’ve known Y/N was coming” your friend winked at you. You rolled your eyes just as your drink had arrived. You thanked the bartender and eagerly took a sip. The familiar taste of tequila burned your throat, and also brought back some painful memories. Tequila was definitely not one of your fortes either. Every night that ended in tequila, ended up full of regrets. But heck, what did you have to regret tonight? It was all about your friend, not you, so you just had to make sure she had a good time.
You sipped your drink as your friends ordered their own drinks, glancing around the club again. A familiar face caught your attention a few seats down at the bar. “Mark…?” you muttered. Crazy enough, it seemed as if he heard you. He turned his head towards you and his mouth gaped open. As if regrettably, he got up and walked towards you, opening his arms for a hug. You hugged him stiffly. He was a good friend of your current “ex”, Jinyoung. “Hi! It’s been a while! What’re you doing here?” he seemed shocked. “Just here for a friend’s birthday” you forced a smile. “Ah, I see” he nodded, drinking his own drink. “Well… it was nice seeing you” he smiled before awkwardly walking off. But that’s just how Mark was. “Yeah… you too…” you murmured as he disappeared into the ocean of people on the dancefloor.
Mark returned in a rush to the group. He tried to avoid Jinyoung’s gaze, especially because Jinyoung would quickly pick up that something was going wrong. As Mark pulled Yugyeom aside, Jinyoung sneakily lingered nearby, curious as to what may have gotten Mark all riled up. Mark whispered into Yugyeom’s ear several times, much to Yugyeom’s (and Jinyoung’s) dismay, unable to hear him over the music. Mark sighed and tried again, and this time, he heard him loud and clear, the two words, “She’s here”.
Jinyoung’s brows furrowed as he listened intently to his hyungs. Who could Mark possibly be talking about that he was acting so nervously. “ Y/N, is here. ” Mark whispered to Yugyeom harshly and in that moment Junior had to fight the urge to either flight or fight. Why did you have to be at this club? Why did he have to be here? Jinyoung wasn’t sure if he was ready to face you just yet but it felt like that moment would come sure enough.
He tried to look at anyone or anything but you because he knew the moment he made eye contact he wouldn’t be able to stop himself, he distracted himself long enough for Jackson to grab his shoulder trying to usher him to dance but he couldn’t more like he wouldn’t. His legs felt like they were stuck in place and his eyes became glued to the back of your head. It was as if he was drowning and he couldn’t find his way back to the surface for air. His eyes started to swell up when he saw you smile at something your friends had said and he almost forgot how much he actually missed seeing you and being near you. “ Jinyoung…? She’s just a girl. Come on let loose. ” Jaebum whispered into his ear. Just a girl? No, you weren’t just a girl and they all knew that. You were the only girl to ever make him feel this way.
Then things got worse because some guy had caught you attention and it definitely wasn’t Jinyoung and no matter how much he wanted it to be him; it wasn’t and this night had only brought back memories he wasn’t ready to face. He had to face the reality that circumstance can be a lovely lady and she sure as hell bites hard.
“Let’s get you another drink.” Mark rests his hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder in an attempt to calm his nerves. He could only imagine what Jinyoung was thinking, and having you show up was definitely not apart of the plan.
“No, I need some air.” Jinyoung brushed off Mark’s hold and tried to push through the barricade of his friends. Jackson stood sternly and offered to accompany him but Jinyoung merely knocked him out of the way. His friends all gathered and watched him make his way to the doors and as much as he tried to hurry out of the cramped space of the club, his eyes couldn’t help but survey the room for any sign of you. It’s what he always did; his eyes could find yours in the biggest of crowds. But because of your sudden wish to be free of him, he wondered if he even knew you anymore. ‘Would I even know what she really looks like anymore?’ He thought to himself as his eyes searched for even the slightest shine of your hair from the colorful lights that splayed across the floor and walls of the club. There was so many people there tonight and his head was spinning as the alcohol worked its way into his bloodstream.
The freshness of the night’s breeze hit him like a brick wall as he breathed in as much of the air as his lungs could hold. He closed his eyes as he felt the cold air rush into his nostrils and tried to clear his mind of the thoughts of your failed relationship. ‘What had I done? What hadn’t I done better?’ He shook his head as if the thoughts would go away, and they did for a while until the smell of your perfume slapped him back to reality. His eyes cracked open as he caught sight of you in a form fitting black cocktail dress, a man holding tightly onto your hand. Jinyoung knew better, he shouldn’t follow you, he shouldn’t care about what you were doing or who you were doing it with. But he did care, he cared too much and the alcohol coursing through his body made him care even more.
Jinyoung followed silently behind the you and the mystery man who stole you from his grasp. He stopped at the entrance of an alleyway and listened to the conversation the two of you had.
“Why did you come here? We can’t be seen like this.” The man’s voice was oddly familiar, like he’d heard it before and maybe even knew the guy. But then again, maybe it was just the buzz getting to him.
“I didn’t know he was going to be here too, you should have warned me ahead of time!”
“How should I know that you’d show up here? It was Mark’s stupid idea to drag us all out here because he said Jinyoung needed to stop sulking. But you have to leave, if we’re caught I don’t know how this will go down.” As footsteps came near, Jinyoung turned to face the opposite direction so you wouldn’t recognize him. When he turned again he saw you walking back into the club, the mystery man leading you in. He was shocked at the familiar frame of the mystery man; those broad shoulders, that tousled hair, those stupid piercings; he knew exactly who it was and he was shocked, at a loss for words and thoughts even as he tried to process how, when, and why.
You let yourself fall behind Jaebum as he walked back into the club, the crowds of people ensuring that you’d be separated. You weren’t sure if he knew you were gone or not, but you were sick of avoiding Jinyoung.
And maybe he was sick of avoiding you, too, because suddenly you felt yourself collide into his all-too-familiar chest, and then your eyes met his.
“J-Jinyoung…” Your voice escaped your lips a lot more shaky than you had wanted.
You stared up at him, moving your lips to continue what you wanted to say to him. However, his icy, cold stare bore down at you, making you lose your words as a shiver went down your spine.
You wanted to see him. You wanted to talk to him. You couldn’t ignore him like this for too long. But having him in front of you like this and practically shooting daggers into your soul from his glare was making it even difficult to breathe.
“How could you?”
His words were soft and even through the heavy bass line of the music, you could still hear his voice. His harsh expression dissolved, but his eyes still pierced through you. The thought of not wanting to avoid Jinyoung any further vanished from seeing him like this so suddenly.
“How could you with him when we’re–”
You weren’t ready.
As much as you needed to confront him and stop your childish act in avoiding each other, this wasn’t the time and you weren’t ready.
You took a breath and summoned all the courage you had inside of you.
“When we’re on a break?” you interrupted boldly.
Jinyoung’s eyes widened from your unexpected change in behavior.
You weren’t ready.
Not here. Not like this.
With Jinyoung’s silent response, you gave him a daring glance before walking past him.
Jinyoung stands there, trying to search for answers to his questions. How could this be? With one of his friends? His most trusted and closest friend, to be exact. When you guys were on a break? He remains there in the middle of the crowd, eyes beginning to well up with tears. However, a random girl tries to dance with him, but he doesn’t respond and instead, gently pushes her away as he makes his way out of the huge crowd. When he’s out, he sees that his friends are occupied by some girls and can’t bring himself to even be there, since he knew that one of them will try to hook him up one of those girls who weren’t you.
He wasn’t ready to forget. Not like this. Not here. And surely, not what he just witnessed.
Wiping his eyes, Jinyoung takes his leave from the club and begins to walk towards wherever his feet took him. Whether it was home, a quiet and private bar, the river, anything. It didn’t matter. He needed to be alone to think, to reflect, to forget. But only one question remains in his mind.
Just why?
Before Jinyoung even knew it, his feet managed to lead him to the spot where the both of you first met. Memories of the two of you began to flash through his mind as he recalls each and one of them. But soon enough, his tears fall and he sobs softly.
“Parties aren’t your thing either?” you yelled over the loud music. “Is it that obvious?” Jinyoung laughed, furrowing his brow as you approached him, a complete stranger. “Well, birds of the same flock flock together, I suppose” you joked, gesturing that it wasn’t your thing either. “Y/N” you stuck your hand forward. “Jinyoung” he took your hand lightly, giving it a shake.
“Are you a friend of…?” he trailed off, unsure who you were. He had never seen you before, but you were stunning in his eyes, nonetheless. “JB” you answered, “We’re friends through mutual friends” you replied casually. “Ahhhhh, I see” he nodded. “Do you know JB?” you asked curiously. Jinyoung chuckled, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he leaned on the railing, “He’s my best friend actually”.
Here you two were. At a rooftop party of the hottest spot in the city. Casually conversing, not partaking in the madness that was going on on the dance floor. But neither of you realized that this would be the meeting was just the beginning of the next 8 months you’d spend together as a couple.
Jinyoung stared off at the city horizon from the rooftop he met you many months ago. The same view that was before him that same night. Why did it have to be JB? he fought his inner demons. He knew why. He was the one who linked you two together, he should’ve known and shouldn’t have let his guard down. But he got too comfortable. The spark you once had, had dimmed. He reasoned that a break would be good for you both.
But to him, he had hoped that the break would make him want you more, would make him cherish your relationship, and would make him treat you better. And it was tonight he realized he did want you, he did cherish your relationship, and he vowed to treat you better. But this… this ruined him.
He leaned on the railing, exhaling deeply as the cold night air swept his hair across his face. "YAH, Park Jinyoung!” a familiar voice pierced through the night air. Jinyoung turned slowly, the voice just infuriating him from the get-go. “Where have you been?! We’ve been looking for you!” JB sauntered over casually, “The entire reason we came out can’t just disappear” he chuckled, “I knew I’d find you here” he looked off into the night horizon, clamping a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder. Jinyoung stared at him incredulously, grasping his hand and pushing it off his shoulder.
“Yah… what’s gotten into you?” JB furrowed his brow. “Me? How about you?” Jinyoung sneered through his teeth. “What’re you talking about?” JB took a step back, caught off guard by Jinyoung’s sudden hostility. “When were you planning on telling me you were seeing Y/N?” Jinyoung spat at him, voice loud and unrestrained, “You took me out tonight to ‘forget about her’ so what?! So you can have her to yourself?!” Jinyoung yelled in a rage. “I thought we were brothers! Have you no shame?!” Jinyoung balled up his fists.
JB chuckled, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “Well, it’s not my fault you couldn’t take care of her. But me? I can. I’m just picking up the broken pieces you left behind, but I’d say I’m piecing them together just right” he smirked. Jinyoung clenched his fist and began to swing his arm until someone gripped onto his wrist. He turned, to find Mark standing there, stopping his punch, his eyes wide in shock. “Looks like I got here just in time…” Mark panted.
Jinyoung yanked his arm back and stormed off, Mark following close behind. “Where are you going?!” JB yelled after him. “DON’T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IT” Jinyoung responded as he disappeared from sight.
Mark turned to JB. “What the hell did you say to him?”
“Don’t worry about it.” JB completely brushed Mark off.
“Don’t worry about it? How can I not worry about it when Jinyoung reacted like that?” Mark was starting to regret bringing everyone out tonight. It was supposed to be fun, but instead, it turned into utter chaos.
JB rolled his eyes. “He’s just upset because I can take care of y/n better than he can.” With the alcohol raging in his system, JB had few filters tonight.
“Better?” Mark repeated. “Wait, are you and y/n dating? Behind Jinyoung’s back? I thought you were supposed to be his best friend. How could you do this to them? Jinyoung and y/n were only on a break. That doesn’t mean they were broken up. It means that they needed some time apart to think things over and hopefully work things out.” Mark was seething by now. He couldn’t believe JB would actually do something like that to a friend.
JB massaged his temples and sighed. “Look, y/n and I aren’t actually dating, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the reason they took a break. You and I both know they were having problems. I didn’t mean to make it worse.”
“What did you do?” Some of Mark’s anger had subsided, but that didn’t mean he forgave JB just yet.
“Y/n came over to my place late at night because she and Jinyoung had just gotten in a fight. We were talking and there had been some drinking, so we ended up kissing. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I couldn’t control myself either. In case you didn’t know, I’ve liked y/n for a while now, but I backed off when her and Jinyoung got together.” JB leaned against the railing and leaned his head back.
“So the moment they were having problems, you decided to swoop in?” Mark clenched his fists.
“No,” JB muttered. He looked at Mark again. “No, she stopped kissing me and left in a hurry, saying she needed to think things over. Next thing I know she and Jinyoung are on a break. I didn’t mean to break them up, but if she likes me enough to break up with Jinyoung, why should I back off?”
“Because Jinyoung is your best friend, in case you forgot.” Mark couldn’t stand being around JB anymore, so he turned around to go look for Jinyoung. “Jinyoung shouldn’t be alone right now.” They were all pretty drunk right now, so Mark didn’t want Jinyoung doing anything stupid in his state.
At this point your mind was scattered everywhere. You didn’t mean to be so cold towards Jinyoung nor did you want him to find out this way. You sat silently in the car with all your friends who were still drunk and raving about the night. Once the car neared your apartment, you said a quick bye before gathering your stuff and leaving. Once you made it out the door into to the cold air you saw two familiar bodies, an angry Jinyoung with Mark trying to calm him down. Jinyoung noticed your figure, took one glance in your direction and began walking away. “Jinyoung!” you yelled walking towards him. He just ignored your cries and continued walking away from you. Mark grabbed Jinyoung’s shoulders preventing him to walk any further as you caught up with him. “Jinyoung, can we please talk?” you pleaded a he looked at you with a look you’ve never seen before. Right as he was about to open his mouth to answer you heard your name being called. You turned around and saw it was JB coming your way. What a mess. “Your boyfriend is calling for you” he bitterly spat before walking the other direction with Mark trailing behind him.
“Y/N!” JB called out again. “WHAT JB WHAT DO YOU WANT” you frustratingly yelled. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay” he defended. “No, I’m not okay. My boyfriend thinks I’m with his best friend thanks to you!” you yelled. “I didn’t say anything to him! He assu-“ he tried defending himself before you cut him off. “No JB I know who you are. You provoked him and put the wrong idea in his head, don’t you dare play victim. I came to you because I needed a friend; I needed help on how to fix things with Jinyoung. I was thankful for having you and helping me, but that’s it. Everything else after that was a drunken mistake and it meant nothing. I’m not blaming you for what happened because it’s my fault to. But that was it. If anything it just made me realize I wanted Jinyoung more and I have to fight for it. So leave me alone before you make it any worse”. You left him silent and stunned before you walked off to find Jinyoung.
As you walked the dark streets in search of Jinyoung the memories of how this all started crashed back on you in waves. The fight that started it all, the mistakes you both made. You had both been holding onto each other so tight that you hand ended up hurting each other instead. Jinyoung walked through the door looking worn out with dark circles under his eyes but even that didn’t ease the stupid suspicions that had been poisoning you in his absence. “Jinyoung I missed you. H-how has work been?” you asked with a shaky smile. “It’s been crazy. Sorry I’ve been gone so much lately.” He replied shortly running a hand through his hair and collapsing on the sofa. You didn’t say anything back right away the image of that girl hanging all over Jinyoung popping back into your mind. “Jinyoung….I saw you the other day… with another girl. Are you… I mean.. you’re not cheating on me are you?”
That one question had been the start of it all. It had blown up into a huge fight because Jinyoung had thought you didn’t trust him and you had felt like he hadn’t been there for you at the time and emotions were high and stupid things said and it had all lead up to you making the even bigger mistake of you going to see JB to talk about it.
You were pulled out of you remembrance when you saw Jinyoung’s familiar form trying to shake Mark’s hand off his arm as they were walking down a quite street. You started running trying to get to them faster but your heels were causing a problem so you simply took them off and ran barefoot desperate to make things right. As you got closer you could hear the boys speaking.
“Jinyoung you shouldn’t be alone right now lets just go home and we’ll figure this out together.” Mark was pleading with him gently. “Just fuck off Mark I want to be alone right now.” Jinyoung snapped he was clearly pissed but his eyes got even darker and more dangerous as his eyes landed on you. “Y/n you probably shouldn’t be here right now,” Mark said cooly. “You should take your own advice and beat it Mark. I don’t want to see either of you right now,” Jinyoung muttered bitterly. A flash of hurt went across Mark’s face but he didn’t move. “Mark can I please talk to him alone. There are things I need to explain.” you said slowly but firmly. “Didn’t you hear me when I said I DON’T FUCKING WANT TO TALK?” Jinyoung yelled at you making you flinch a bit. He was a bit wobbly and clearly a little drunk but this was a conversation that needed to happen. “Then you can just fucking listen,” you snapped back which seemed to surprise him and shut him up.
(This part contains mature language; read at your own discretion)
Jinyoung stopped when he heard your dominant tone. It is very rare that you use it at him and it completely taken him aback. He wanted to protest and to push you away further, but he knows that you will not give in until you are able to do what you want. He let out a heavy sigh before putting his hands on his hips, as he faces you. Mark need not to be told that he needs to step out, so he slowly took his hands away from Jinyoung’s shoulders as he nods to the two of you before walking away, leaving the two of you behind.
You looked at him intently, studying each and every detail of his features as you held on your heels tight against your hands, gulping the lump on your throat as you begin to mutter.
“Jinyoung, nothing is going on between me and JB, which is the truth.” You started lightly, hoping to ease the tension and to make him calm. However, the only response that you heard from him was a mocking, loud laugh.
“And you expect me to believe you?” He spat at you, putting emphasis on each and every word that came out of his mouth.
“That is the truth, Jinyoung, okay? I know that JB poisoned your head with some lies and all but you have to believe me.” You approached him, but making sure to put a safe distance between the two of you. He took you by surprise when he grabbed your shoulders with both of his hands a bit too tight, with his eyes piercing through yours in a deadly stare.
“Are you sure they are all lies, ______-ah? He just told me that he is “piecing your broken pieces just right”. What does that suppose to mean?” He said angrily and you can smell the mix of alcohol and some mint from his breath, causing your breath to hitch. You held on to his chest, silently begging for him to calm down.
“J-Jinyoung, it is not what you think it is, yes, I went up to him for advice and because you are best of friends, maybe he can shed some light in me and you that will help us get back together, I never expected it to turn out that way.” You held his shoulders as you give him a tender and caring look.
“What ‘way’ are you talking about, ______-ah? Tell me, did you fuck him? Is that what “piecing your broken pieces just right” mean? I expect you to be better than that!” He spatted with no filter at all, anger and alcohol completely taking control of his emotions and his words. Before you can even respond, he continued.
“Is that the reason why you broke up with me? Because Jaebum fucked you better than me? Are you that desperate for a fuck that you didn’t care if you do it with my bestfriend? It wasn’t long when we last did it, ______-ah, isn’t-”
A sound of skin slapping against skin reverbrated through the silence of the night. Jinyoung stood still, eyes wide open and hands on his cheek. You sobbed silently, putting your hands over your mouth, trying your best not to make the fool in front of you hear your muffled cries, so that it won’t boost his ego any further.
“I-I never expected you to think of me that way. I thought you know me better than that, Jinyoung.” With that being said, you ran as fast as you could towards the door, climbing down the stairs with a heavy heart, as tears ran down your face, with only one thought in mind.
It’s time to move on.
It had been an eventful night and Jinyoung’s head was pounding, not only from the alcohol but from the conversation the two of you barely had just moments ago. His cheek was still warm from the slap his smart mouth had earned him, but he didn’t feel bad for saying it. He thought about what you said a lot as he walked, “it was a drunken mistake”, and let out a soft laugh. It may have been a mistake but it doesn’t change the fact that it still happened. It was partially JB’s fault, but Jinyoung knew it all started that one day you questioned him about cheating. To this day he still thought it was absolutely ridiculous; he made you a promise, he gave himself to you… how could you accuse him of cheating? And now that he thought about how much he gave to ensure your happiness, your well being, the reason he was even angry in the first place was because you didn’t trust him; the JB issue just stemmed from that.
Jinyoung found himself outside the JYP Building and let himself in. He made his way to one of the many practice rooms, turned on the lights and sat in the middle of the room. He enjoyed the few moments of silence until the door squeaked open.
“I knew I’d find you here.” Jinyoung’s blood boils at the sound of his best friend’s voice.
“You gonna take this room from me too?” He spat bitterly, not bothering to turn around to speak to him directly.
“Nah, just thought we should talk you know… about our friendship, about Y/N and what happened.” JB sat a few feet away from Jinyoung just in case their almost fight would continue.
“I have nothing to say to you or Y/N, you can have her for all I care. God knows it’s all you wanted ever since I started dating her.” Jinyoung stood to leave but JB stood and met his glare before he could leave.
“She really does love you, and she really did come to me about you.” Jinyoung could almost hear the sincerity in JB’s tone but could he even trust him anymore either?
“Yeah, she loved me so much that instead of coming to me with her problems she came to you and you fucked her. Thanks pal, you’re always looking out for me.” JInyoung laughed as he shrugged off JB’s grip and continued to stare him down. JB stood to attention, he didn’t want to back down this time and neither did Jinyoung.
“I know I shouldn’t have done what I’d done and believe me when I say I truly do feel bad it happened. But do you think she would have came to me if she wasn’t desperate? Who knows you more than you even know yourself? Me.” As much as Jinyoung hated to admit it, it was true. JB knew Jinyoung like the back of his hand so it was hard for Jinyoung to lie and get passed JB without telling him what was going on. But that still doesn’t change anything, everything still happened.
“What’s your point?” JInyoung spat as he turned the opposite direction of JB and walked further into the room.
“If there was any way she could find her way back to you, without worrying you, it was through me. And that’s what she did. She wanted to fix it Jinyoung, she wanted to find her way back for you.”
“So you fucked her to help her find her way back to me? Thanks buddy, I appreciate it.”
“Jinyoung shut up for a minute and listen! Do you ever listen to anything else besides the sound of your own voice!?” JB screamed as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was frustrating trying to explain something to JInyoung while he kept reiterating the events that came to this moment. After JB raised his voice, Jinyoung held his tongue and his hands fisted at his sides as his blood continued to boil. The air filled with tension, so thick Jinyoung could barely breathe. He wanted to leave but if he left the situation would still go unresolved.
“We can talk, but after this I want nothing more to do with you or Y/N.”
“Are you sure you want that?” JB asks him, breaking the silence between the two young men. Jinyoung continues to stare away from the older one, his mind only clouded with everything that has occurred between the three of you.
Is this what he really wants?
Was he really ready to move on from you?
“I’m asking if you that’s really what you want, Jinyoung.” JB repeats himself. Of course not. “I already explained it to you. It may have been a drunken mistake since we both acted on the effect of alcohol, but I guarantee you that nothing more happened between us that night.” Was it really true? Did nothing really happen that night?
Jinyoung felt himself soften a bit, since he got confirmation for himself that nothing happened that night. However, it still wasn’t enough for him to give in. He needed to be alone for himself to be able to think in a proper state.
He closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh before informing JB, “I want to be alone. Please leave.” With that said, JB only sighs and proceeds out of the practice room, leaving the scarred man alone in the silence to sober up.
A/N: slightly suggestive.
Jinyoung thought everything through and he laughed. It was a bitter laugh, but he still let it ring in the stillness he was surrounded by. He was so deeply rooted in you that he had carry out the hurt and misunderstandings to this extent. Now to say he regretted it would be shameful, but now he wanted to talk to you. Things couldn’t just end tragically the way it did. If anything, there has to be closure in order for a new beginning to bloom.
“Dammit,” He grumbled under his breathe then rushed out the room in hope that he’d be able to catch JB in time. “Hyung!” He called out.
Before the glass door of the building opened, JB stopped in his track.
“Hyung, I’ll make this right. I’ll make this all easier for us.”
JB watched to see what else the other had to say, but when it was quiet, he intervened. “I understand you, Jinyoung. You don’t have to tell me your next move. The only person you have to clarify with is Y/N. After that, we can talk it out like we always do.” He walked back to Jinyoung and patted his shoulder. “You’re a little brother to me, so I’ll always make time for you, but catch up with Y/N before it’s too late.”
Somehow that last sentence rang on for miles in Jinyoung’s mind. It almost sounded eerie. “Okay, hyung.” As if they spoke trough eyes, they engaged in a brotherly hug and departed ways. JB left to the dorm and Jinyoung was on his way to you.
-
You were giving yourself a pep talk about moving on until you heard a knock at your door. It was nearly 3am and you guessed it had to be JB, but your expression changed into a dull one once you opened the door to see Jinyoung. “What are you doing here?”
“To talk, what else?” He rebutted.
Not wanting to waste too much energy fighting back with words, you let him in, believing he had a good reason to finally want to talk after a rough night. “So?”
“Let’s make it permanent.” His hands rested on his hips. “I want this to be a clean break up. No attachment, no feelings. Everything gone.”
He sounded so determined to throw it all away and it stabbed at you. The fact that he didn’t even suggest a proper solution of talking things out and deciding it together made you sick to the stomach. How could he just suddenly think that breaking all form of thoughts and feelings would help you? Was he only thinking of himself? The feelings you had built up for him weren’t that easily disposable like he assumed. “You don’t think there’s a way of working things out?”
“That’d be too much, wouldn’t it? I mean, if this situation can already tear us up, can you imagine all the million other ones we have to fight against?”
“But isn’t that what a relationship is all about? We fight those situations together.” The thought of moving on was suddenly far away. You didn’t really believe in doing so. It was only a thought in the midst of anger and frustration.
“And if we don’t win?”
“We fight until we do.”
“It gets tiring,” He argued. He brushed through his hair. “It was all a mistake from the beginning.” He shook his head. “A brother should never date a brother’s mutual friend.” He bitterly chuckled. “It’s impossible to not fall into a pit of jealousy and chaos.”
You sighed, afraid he was really going to take his words into account. “I just don’t understand how it got so messy. Like, we were just on a break because you’ve been busy and I’ve been stressed. The whole JB thing was only an add on and it’s definitely not a significant part of us.”
“But I’m a jealous guy,” He confessed. “And knowing hyung has an admiration towards you is just too much for me.”
“But I choose you. Isn’t that enough?” Your tears began to ooze. “Isn’t that enough for you to believe and trust me, Jinyoung? That even if JB ever advanced towards me, it would always be you?”
“It’s just not going to work.” He was so stubborn to find an equal ground. “Brothers always come before girls anyways.” He shifted away from you to not see your pained eyes. “Hyung has always been there for me and if I continue to grow hate towards him because of you, then you’re the problem.” He had his back fully turned on you, headed for the door. “Girls come and go and you’re just another one of them.”
Your heart fell to the ground at that statement. It was true that brotherhood is significant, but everything that came out after was too sudden for your liking. His eager tone made it all the more suffocating. “I thought you said you wanted a clean break up? Why does this sound more troublesome?” You choked with tears.
“By ‘clean’, I meant ‘honest’. Breakups are never perfect and if you have a problem with that, then you have to deal with it on your own.” His hand landed on the doorknob.
You sauntered up to hold his hand, to press against the force of the door opening. “Do I not have a say in this?! You think you can just make the final decision here?!”
“It’s the only decision.” His voice was solid. “Even if you want this to work, I don’t. You can’t do much with 50%.” He was beating you down with truthful words.
“Park Jinyoung, are you really going to just let us go?” You cried harder with streams down your cheeks. If earlier he was considered the fool, now you were.
“It’s about time.”
If you learned anything, it was that getting into a relationship is the easiest part, but saving it is the hardest in which is a fearful thing because you never know when it’ll sink. It just does and when it happens, at times it’s too late.
“Then let me be selfish.” You evened your breathing. “Let me have a couple more hours with you.” The courage to spit such words was never a known part of you.
He finally glanced over to you and you weren’t sure if your teary eyes had blurred your vision, but you saw your hurt reflect in his. “Y/N—”
“Please, Jinyoung. You asked for a clean break up, not wanting anything to do with me once you step out this door, but before you do that, can I at least have my fair share in this?”
“Y/N—” He was about to deny such offer, but your lips had beat him to it.
You kissed him longingly as if you’d lose your breath if you didn’t do so. You wanted to feel his lips against yours. You wanted to remember his touches. You simply wanted to remember every part of him even if that sounded silly and desperate. “Jinyoung, just one last time.” You closed your eyes as you burrowed your face into his chest with your arms around his torso. You felt him let go of the door as it clutched back in place. His arms remained at his sides as you clung to him. “All I ask is one last time.”
He raised your face into view by pulling your chin. He looked so lost in thought and you hoped he wasn’t going to make a run. You wanted him to stay. “One last time?” He asked carefully. It was as if he was asking to make sure you wouldn’t keep him around for longer than he wanted to stay.
You swallowed dryly, “One last time.”
It was a blur the moment your bedroom door closed you both in. Clothes scattered the floor like the first time. Along with the heavy hearts, a compromise was made under the covers where trust and intimacy once lie. Now, they were being replaced with hurt and hatred. With each push and pull came along tears and shaking bodies. Triggering kisses left their marks and electrifying caresses left their scars.
The minute after the escalation was over, your eyes closed ready for slumber but before you drifted too far, you felt teardrops tap the crook of your neck. A final kiss was left there before you felt the weight of Jinyoung lift off your bed. You refused to open your eyes because you knew what he was going to do. He was going to leave. For good. You figured his hours were over. A couple scatters could be heard until there was no more and the sound of your front door slammed shut.
THE END.
Collaborated with a few GOT7 writers back then and wrote this Jinyoung scenario altogether. It’s a great read and most of these writers barely write now. If anything, the one who started this project is a good friend of mine. Unfortunately, she’s no longer on tumblr and I have no way of contacting her anymore but I do believe she is well and still fangirling over GOT7 with me 💕
