death or vitality
the breeze seemed frigid, misgiving for which the hot sun could not apease
disregard me please for every word I uttered in that hour,
stuttered for the sake of palpable stillness,
a tornado we witnessed from a short distance,
conversations of leaves and birds and mothers.
slender wrists I’d never tell you were once slit, encased by your first and final fingers; I’m delicate and so is the day.
valor portrayed incessantly, knowing that if I reached for you, your hand I’d find, and a beloved gaze so kind. I thanked you twice more in my mind.
Buzz, enunciated noise remniscent of jail, not that I’ve ever been but I imagine that’s how it feels to visit such places. The sound is not exclusive or welcoming, but neither is the place. A familiar number and uniform shingles meet clean siding, hiding a dim, clean office; protected by too many doors and one intercom, meant to intimidate.
Iodine isn’t red, blood is, but dried blood can also be brown. Colors don’t seem quite as vibrant under fluorescent lighting. I held on tightly to your hand, with dark sunglasses to hide behind. What you saw won’t haunt my dreams. Pain flooded me, tears formed and fell from the corners of my eyes, wetness reaching my ears, but you dried my cheekbone. I looked to you, and through the window in your eyes I found my strength to exhale.
An emptyness so painful it can’t be placed. To feel death inside of you and live on.
You washed the blood from my feet, but not from my hands.
Lonesome Silence.
Remembering to look in the mirror, once in a blue moon.
Two dots left to mystery. Will you ever come for me. When will soon enough finally be. You told me to remember your face, as you held mine with both of your hands, when I close my eyes it’s all I see. Agitated envy tilted the scales on which I placed your head, dissension stirred up hatred with a diffident hue.
Alluring, I am stronger a form of art that prays to it’s composer. Peace alleviates the anxieties you left me drowning in. You know what they say, Sink or Swim. And so I swam.
