I don't really know what to say. 37k followers how tempting, but I never did anything with it. Soulless. This site has changed so much. I have changed so much. Except when I'm alone in my kitchen in the early hours. Too many now strangers know this place for it to still be safe for me, but would it really hurt to let them see who I am now? I'm still stupid and funny and kind and sarcastic and mean. I still hate myself a lot but I've also been learning a lot about myself for a long time. ADHD and maybe autistic. Left behind but I still built something out of nothing. I like girls and boys and have a multitude of health problems. I hate this blog. A summation of everything I don't want to be. A good attempt that was nearly successful, until it tripped and never stopped falling. Okay I'll stop being cringey now. Except I'm always cringey, maybe that's something I'll proudly own, or maybe it's just another defence mechanism.














