thoughts on jamie and his dad in the finale?
I do have thoughts, yeah. Have a few of them, nonny, somewhat scattered, because I’m not quite ready to put all of it down into a fully cohesive statement:
First off, I don’t mind it. I am side-eyeing Ted a bit for encouraging it like that (though it is an advice perfectly consistent with Ted’s character, and I do dig that Ted Lasso as a show lets good characters be wrong), but I’m neither oppossed to Tartt Sr. trying to better himself or Jamie making the choice to maybe give him a second chance.
That said, I think it’s important to note that this is Jamie’s choice, and only one of several he could have made. He would have been perfectly justified in refusing any contact with his dad, no matter how sober Tartt Sr. got or how much he changed. Jamie doesn’t owe his dad a thing.
And you know, this might not turn out to be the best choice for Jamie, but I think it’s perfectly logical that it’s the one he would make, given who he is as a person. Partly because Ted encourages him too, and Jamie does have a habit of actually listening to advice and trusts Ted (rightly, and then sometimes wrongly); partly because he is struggling with how to relate to his dad these days, and is willing to give this a go to see if it will actually ease something within him; and partly, I think, out of a sense of gratitude over the second chance Jamie himself was given. Obviously you can’t compare Jamie’s bad behaviour with James’ bad behaviour, but I don’t find it unlikely that Jamie might reflect on the fact that him being a prick was due to his father, and wonder what caused his father to be such an absolute asshole, and want to pass on the grace he himself was given.
And to be clear, I don’t take a moral stance on this, like “of course Jamie should forgive his dad because that is how he frees himself of the pain his father’s caused” or “Jamie should never forgive his dad because his dad is unforgiveable and I’m pissed at the text for showing him doing this”. I’m okay with what happens because it’s a choice that I can believe Jamie would make, and because the ambiguity of their ending leaves the door open for multiple interpretations of their relationship moving forwards.
We don’t know if Tartt Sr. is going to permanently change for the better, after all: he could relapse tomorrow (and frankly, it’s likely that he does at some point – recovery is a damned rocky road). Even if he doesn’t, we don’t know that him and Jamie will actually ever repair their relationship, or if Jamie will ever actually forgive him. They’re trying for now (unless it’s all just Ted’s dream of the future he’d like for them), but it could still go any which way. I do like that in a series’ finale: open-endedness, that allows for multiple roads forward in all the fic and meta I hope we continue to have.
I have seen some concerns that Jamie is actually endangering himself by reconnecting with his father, especially when he first reaches out in 3x11, well before he knows that Tartt Sr. is in rehab. These are valid concerns to be sure, but I’m not actually worried, for three reasons:
1. Jamie texting his dad doesn’t necessarily means he plans to meet with him at that point. I think it is partly motivated by some vague notions of giving this forgiveness lark a go, but that it’s also motivated by a need to know why his father wasn’t at the game, where the hell he is. It’s freaking me the fuck out, he notes when he can’t find his dad in the stands. If Tartt Sr. had replied with a drunken rant or insults, I don’t think Jamie would have suggested that they meet up (though unfortunately he might have, because Jamie doesn’t always make the best calls). He’s sending out a feeler, and when the response is (we must believe) far more positive than he could ever have expected, he decides to see where this might lead.
2. I think it’s utterly vital that when we see them together in 3x12 it’s at the rehab facility. Not only because that suggest that (at least for the time being) Tartt Sr. remains invested in his recovery, but because it’s a safe place to meet. Jamie’s dad is contained, removed from Jamie’s everyday life, and Jamie can see him there and then leave and feel somewhat secure in the knowledge that his dad can’t get to him, can’t see him unless Jamie actively chooses to visit. It can be entirely on Jamie’s terms for now: that’s very important.
3. Jamie does have a much wider support net than once he did. Apart from his mum and Simon, he has the team, he has Roy and Keeley – and they all know about his situation with his father. There’s no need to hide that shit from them, so throughout the process and if things go south, Jamie won’t be alone: he’ll have access to people and help (and a therapist, given that Dr. Sharon is back at Richmond) in a way he never had before. If he wants to take a chance on his father, this is not a terrible position to do it from.
If this doesn't work for you, that's fair enough, but this is how I make sense of Jamie and his dad, for now.
Oh, and a quote from a new interview with Phil Dunster to send you off. Do with it what you will (I personally don't think we actually need to consider actors' thoughs on the text unless we want to, but thought this was interesting enough).
“I think in the scripts the writers had put that they wanted it to be clear that it wasn’t resolved necessarily, but they were trying. These are two people who have had a very difficult past, and they are trying. James, who is Jamie’s dad, is trying by turning up to the rehab. Jamie is trying by being there to see his dad. It’s starting an old relationship anew. It’s just further character development. As we saw in Episode 11, Jamie, at Ted’s suggestion, tries to forgive his dad — but for himself — and I think that this is him doing that.”
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