Doctors and nurses have one of the most interesting relationships in healthcare. Society and media perpetuate a common myth that doctors are intent on “snagging” as many nurses as they can, and nurses perhaps are looking to “snag a rich doctor,” and while its idle entertainment value amuses many, it discredits the authenticity of the relationship, and presents a fractured reality to future doctors and nurses. Nurses are drawn to doctors, but not for the limited viewpoints the external world has come to know. They’re drawn in by a mutual respect and admiration of science, the intersection of philosophy, and how it directly/indirectly relates to the patients they’re collaborating on. Nurses aren’t necessarily impressed by intelligence; for a truly brilliant mind isn’t only found in advanced education - Nurses are more impressed by how they use the intelligence for the welfare of others, without boasting. Nurses are captivated by any doctor who shows their soul in medicine; The kind of doctor who takes the time to listen to their patient’s concerns without leaving a room and dismissing them, a doctor, who despite their insane schedule and demands, will still find the time to sit with a patient and talk them through a frightening diagnosis, or procedure, answering their questions. A doctor who addresses the concerns of nurses, without dismissing their instinct, or suggestions for medications/interventions. A doctor who understands when it’s time to let go of a patient, preserving their right to die with dignity and is present through the families’ traumatic process of grief, not to mention a keen awareness of the toll it’s taken on the nurse. A doctor who empathizes with mistakes, noting with amusement their own imperfections. A doctor who will unequivocally stand up for his/her nurse when a family/administration is disrespectful of the nurse, or their care. A doctor who respects not only the nurses, but the nursing assistant’s unique role in collaborative, and quality patient care. Nurses perhaps fall a little in love with any doctor who shows their heart - but it’s not for the reason you would expect, they are drawn to the person who reveals the humanistic side of medicine and prioritizes compassion, thoughtfulness and a patient’s worth & dignity.
Nurse X (via dancingnurse-ed)
I once had a patient who privately told me she wanted to stop chemo treatments. She was tired. Her family, however, was unwilling to listen, to the point of asking Oncology MD to do a "family conference". Said MD continued to bully the pt into agreeing to resume treatment, despite of the fact that she had metastatic disease. I was present during this meeting solely due to the patient's request. I held her hand most of the way, to give her encouragement to say how she really felt.
MD and family wore her out eventually. She agreed to resume treatment. Outside the room, the social worker and I approached Oncology MD to tell her what was originally the patient's wishes. Now here's the unbelievable fact: MD stared at us in disbelief, as if to say, how dare we undermine her authority. She then proceeded to say, verbatim: "Oh, don't listen to her! She doesn't know anything! She's so stupid!"
She resumed treatment the same day and passed away that same night. The family couldn't deal, suffice to say. The MD refused to prepare them, with words such as, "Don't give up on me! Do it for me! I'm not ready to let you go! You have to fight!"
I respect most doctors I work with. But there's always bad apples in a bunch. To this day, I loathe this MD. I advocated for that patient with all my might, getting Ethics Committee actually on board, but didn't allow for much time. Unfortunately.
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