isabelliao:
izzie expected a lot, emotionally. they always had. they had a big heart, and they always wanted to share those bits and pieces of it with those around them. even the smallest pieces of platonic affection could be spun in her mind to be something it wasn’t; and before they knew it, they were placing unfair expectations on those around them. there were a few friendships that had remained unscathed from those thoughts. but it was a problem, then, when those feelings weren’t reciprocated in the ways that izzie wanted. when she was reaching out to luna, luna would pull away; in return, izzie would close themselves off, feeling that familiar bitter taste on the tip of their tongue. they had tried to keep what happened with luvena from happening with luna, too, but they couldn’t help it. they were just too good at messing things up.
clasping their hands together, they glanced down at their fingers, trying to avoid luna’s gaze. she was never very good at hiding her feelings. all of it would be written plainly on their face ── at least, until luna pulled them into a hug. awkwardly returning the gesture, she was stuck offering another nervous smile towards the other. “ oh! ah ── “ once again, she was laughing nervously, fingers coming up to cover her mouth as if to hide the sound. “ no ── nope! no admirers here. the only ── the only admirer is currently not here. he’s off doing… something ── but you! you look really good tooI how are… how are you? “
It always stung, to know that the way she acted had played a major part in hurting someone like Izzie, who trusted people easily and shared affection freely and easily. They had put that trust in Luna and she, in turn, had stomped all over it. Not purposely, of course, but intentions barely meant anything in the grand scheme of things. Feelings were hurt on both sides and now they were here, standing awkwardly at a bar as if they were strangers.
Luna wasn’t dense enough not to recognise the tension between them, but she was determined enough to pointedly ignore it. Perhaps if she seemed oblivious enough it would dissipate and they would be fine, everything would be fine. She bit down on her lip in deference to the pang of what could only be described as jealousy that rose up in her throat. “ So there is an admirer !! You gotta tell me everything !! ” She was happy for them, really she was. And she didn’t deserve to be jealous, nor did she really have a reason to be; they weren’t anything, they never even were anything. “ I’m good !! ” Luna felt like she had to impress her somehow, but her mind was drawing a blank. Her dating life was embarrassing, a string of bad dates and flings she refused to put labels on, and she didn’t want to sound completely boring by just talking about work.
“ Nothing really changes, I’m not sure there’s anything in my life that would surprise you. ” She opted for a vague response instead, waving her hand in the air with an air of feigned nonchalance, “ Can I buy you a drink ?? No ulterior motives, I promise, your secret admirer won’t have any competition from me. ” Tension still heavy between them, Luna stopped herself from adding a further comment, something along the lines of “unless you wanted it.” While she was deliberately ignoring the strain between them, she wasn’t masochistic enough to potentially make it worse.
