Hikes ย werenโt ย a ย super ย accessible ย part ย of ย city ย living, ย that ย much ย Violet ย knew ย just ย with ย a ย naked ย eye ย observation ย on ย any ย given ย day. ย What ย she ย hadnโt ย known ย is ย that ย to ย get ย anywhere ย remotely ย worth ย the ย legwork, ย it ย was ย at ย least ย an ย hour ย and ย a ย half ย of ย the ย train ย in ย any ย direction. ย But ย that ย had ย never ย been ย a ย problem ย for ย the ย unmotivated ย woman, ย not ย until ย sheโd ย found ย herself ย staring ย at ย her ย phone ย wistfully, ย wanting ย to ย call ย Luna ย but ย ultimately ย left ย without ย reason. ย Violet ย thought ย sheโd ย seen ย her ย earlier ย in ย the ย week, ย only ย to ย startle ย a ย stranger ย in ย the ย deli ย and ย been ย left ย with ย the ย woman ย on ย her ย mind ย like ย a ย nagging ย song ย that ย she ย knew ย too ย few ย words ย to ย hum ย along ย with. ย They ย were ย friendly, ย but ย were ย they ย spontaneous ย call ย friendly ย ? ย Sheโd ย wondered ย it ย over ย and ย over, ย entering ย and ย exiting ย her ย contact ย a ย dozen ย times ย over.
โ Okay, Iโm loathe to admit it because it really doesnโt work with my cottagecore dream fantasy, but I really donโt know how to bake. Or cook. Really, my only experience comes from Cooking Mama and I donโt think that translates so well into real life. Like, you used to twist the dough around once and magically youโve got a loaf of bread ?? Was that woman a witch ?? โ Addie paused for a necessary breath, only then realising that they had been rambling.ย โ Sorry, Iโm used to talking to myself in front of a camera. What I meant to say, was please help me ?? Iโve got no idea what desserts one is even supposed to bring to a Thanksgiving dinner, let alone how to make them. Help a poor helpless Australian before they lose all hope.ย โ
๐๐ข๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ญ ย ๐๐ข๐๐งโ๐ญ ย ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ย ๐๐ญ ย ๐๐๐ ย ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฏ๐๐ญ, ย but ย a ย customer ย could ย be ย forgiven ย for ย the ย confusion ย as ย she ย leaned ย behind ย the ย counter, ย bouncing ย the ย flat ย of ย her ย phone ย against ย her ย thigh ย as ย she ย waited ย for ย the ย cashierโs ย break ย to ย end, ย content ย to ย stand ย an ย look ย productive ย in ย his ย absence. ย The ย woman ย scanned ย the ย cakes ย with ย a ย keen ย eye ย but ย ultimately, ย her ย face ย popped ย back ย over ย the ย glass ย cabinet ย with ย a ย mild ย cry ย for ย help ย in ย her ย eyes, ย as ย Violet ย listened, ย she ย understood. ย Sheย tooย hadย been ย lost ย in ย a ย sea ย of ย seasonal ย dishes ย during ย her ย first ย Thanksgiving, ย wall ย to ย wall ย with ย festivities ย she ย knew ย nothing ย about ย beyond ย a ย Friendโs ย holiday ย episode. ย Sheโd ย begged ย Holly ย to ย help ย her ย make ย something ย that ย wouldnโt ย letย her completely ย embarrass ย herself. ย Even ย now ย she ย could ย remember ย how ย proud ย her ย husband ย had ย looked ย when ย his ย mother ย bit ย into ย the ย cake ย and ย pulled ย away ย with ย a ย genuine ย smile.
The ย woman's ย rambles ย brightened ย Violetโs ย grin. ย Who ย hadnโt ย gone ย through ย a ย cooking ย mama ย phase ? ย Sheโd ย lost ย count ย of ย the ย times ย sheโd ย been ย scolded ย by ย teachers ย and ย her ย mother ย alike ย for ย neglecting ย life ย in ย favour ย of ย her ย DS ย for ย months ย on ย end, ย thankfully, ย Violet ย was ย well ย beyond ย ten ย years ย removed ย from ย the ย game, ย leaving ย the ย impulse ย behind ย with ย the ย nintendog ย that ย was ย still ย probably ย waiting ย on ย her ย to ย come ย home. ย โ ย God, ย donโt ย worry ย about ย it. ย If ย I ย apologised ย for ย every ย time ย I ย chattered ย off ย a ย strangers ย ear ย โโ ย well, ย Iโd ย be ย apologising ย just ย as ย long. ย But ย if ย youโre ย really ย a ย kitchen ย hazard, ย Iโd ย recommend ย some ย of ย the ย pecan-date ย cupcakes ย or ย the ย pumpkin ย spiced ย butter-creams ย - ย itโs ย very ย seasonal ย and ย wonโt ย cause ย conflict ย with ย Grandmaโs ย sacred ย three ย hundred ย year ย old ย pecan ย pie ย recipe, ย โ ย Violet ย answered ย confidently, ย pointing ย to ย the ย gorgeous ย caramelised ย colourings. ย โ ย Or ย is ย this ย a ย need ย to ย make ย from ย scratch ย to ย impress ย the ย in-laws ย sort ย of ย shindig ? ย โ
๐๐ก๐๐ง ย ๐๐ข๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ญ ย ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ย ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐, ย ๐ข๐ญ ย ๐ก๐๐ ย ๐๐๐๐ง ย ๐ก๐๐ซ ย ๐๐๐ ย ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ย ๐ฌ๐ก๐ ย ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ย ๐ฌ๐ก๐ ย ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ก ย ๐๐ง๐ ย ๐ฐ๐๐ญ๐๐ก ย ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฒ. ย โ ย Always ย busy-bodying ย โ , ย her ย mother ย would ย say, ย sheโd ย definitely ย been ย a ย little ย nosey ย but ย mostly ย sheโd ย just ย been ย content ย to ย observe, ย soothed ย by ย the ย company ย even ย if ย the ย task ย at ย hand ย wasnโt ย particularly ย interesting. ย When ย he ย died, ย she ย supposed ย a ย part ย of ย that ย transferred ย onto ย Holly. ย She ย had ย that ย same ย warmth ย to ย her, ย it ย was ย just ย nice ย to ย sit ย in ย her ย orbit.ย Evenย now,ย Violet ย loved ย to ย watch ย her ย bake.ย Her ย typically ย near ย incessant ย chatter ย dulled ย as ย she ย watched ย the ย same ย swirling ย motion ย with ย a ย piping ย bag ย for ย the ย fiftieth ย time ย as ย if ย it ย were ย the ย first. ย They ย werenโt ย kids ย anymore, ย neither ย had ย the ย time ย for ย Violet ย to ย shadow ย her ย like ย a ย curious ย gnat ย all ย day, ย but ย it ย was ย nice ย sometimes ย that ย life ย was ย quiet ย enough ย to ย feel ย small ย and ย content ย with ย that.
She ย offered ย her ย sister ย the ย second ย mug, ย instead ย placing ย it ย down ย on ย her ย left ย when ย she ย noted ย her ย hands ย were ย still ย too ย occupied. ย Violet ย sagged ย against ย the ย pristine ย counter, ย pressing ย her ย own ย steaming ย cup ย to ย her ย lips. ย โ ย Hey ย have ย you ย thought ย about ย Christmas ย at ย all ย ? ย โ ย She ย asked, ย breaking ย the ย comfortable ย quiet. ย Halloween ย had ย barely ย passed ย by, ย but ย Violets ย mind ย streamed ย ahead ย as ย it ย always ย did, ย feeling ย behind ย already ย on ย her ย gift ย buying.ย ย โ ย Like, ย about ย mum ย I ย mean. ย I ย was ย thinking ย we ย could ย all ย pitch ย in ย and ย fly ย her ย out ย here ย instead. ย This ย of ย course ย not ย remotely ย coming ย about ย out ย of ย my ย own ย selfish ย desire ย to ย not ย have ย to ย fly. ย โย Sheย addedย withย aย wryย smile.ย ย โย Weย couldย takeย herย toย aย fewย showsย orย somethingย โโย Oohย !ย ย Likeย Phantomย orย something,ย Iย thinkย Iย sawย somethingย aboutย Decemberย tickets.ย ย โ
Violet works typically nine hour shifts, five days a week. The location she works at is Lindsey Ellis Optics, a small boutique optometry office in Manhattan. Compared to Liverpool, the average price for a pair of glasses Violet sells seems obscene. Sheโd never forget the way she timidly stammered through her first sale, terrified to quote the price as though the customer was going to throttle her for it but she hadnโt remotely wavered, in fact; sheโd been thrilled that the price was less than sheโd been expecting which almost knocked Violet over.ย She is currently struggling with the knowledge that she does love her job and the routine and comfort that it provides her but is ultimately feeling unfulfilled and unmotivated by sales. It bores her now, every part of the job doable on autopilot. She misses the excitement of being shown something new and impressing with how quickly she could replicate it. Violet regrets not attending University overall, anxious that sheโs too old now to remedy that choice. And even still โโ what if she studied for years, and was right back here again ? Bored and under-stimulated. Itโs daunting to consider doing anything else, so Violet finds escapism with her volunteer work. Over all, many find Violetโs schedule a little daunting but she enjoys being kept busy and a rotation of faces to keep her switched on and lively, she struggles with too much down time as it allows her to slide out of routine which can quickly snowball. To maintain a high performance level, Violet needs constant alarms to indicate to her how much times is appropriate for whatever sheโs doing, and lots of to do lists to remind her of everything from chores to calls or else she simply will not do it.
๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ :
Mondays, Violet manages the after school program portion of Family Matters. There are many reasons children end up in the program, the most common being families that already have existing social work intervention, who work or are otherwise unavailable to care for their children in the immediate hours after school. The program hosts fun activities and offers a safe space and meals for the children involved. They often use the activity time to teach the children essential skills they may not be developing at home, such as healthy, affordable meal preparation that allows them to take home something they cooked for dinner when they are collected. This is Violetโs favourite realm of work within the scope of Family Matters, she is known for rousing smiles from even the most reticent of the kids who come in.ย Every other Friday, Violet helps manage the after school program once more, however; Friday night sessions run far later and often have movie nights. Fridays were extended due to seeing the rise in delinquent behaviour in many of the children they oversaw when their weekends were left unsupervised in the wind. The Friday sessions give them a safe place to hang out with other children in a safe monitored environment. Saturday sessions also were extended last year, Violet volunteers for the day portion every other week.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Violet prepares meals that go to the families who are really struggling, typically financially or from health burdens. This was the original launching point of the not for profit, knowing how many parents go unfed to guarantee their children eat and their lunch program was not helping support families at home where they need it most. Violet adored watching Holly bake growing up and still does to this day; constantly bugging her for tips on how to improve the recipes while keeping costs low. Violet is not a brilliant cook by any means, but she knows how to follow a recipe โโ something that suffices when cooking so many portions on masse. Violet uses this portion of her week as meditation, typically preferring to work with an uncharacteristic quiet about her. She finds it peaceful and rarely has the motivation to make full meals for herself despite enjoying the soothing process due to being a serial grazer.
Thursdays and every other Sunday, Violet delivers the meals prepared for that week. Due to Violet not being able to drive legally as she never obtained a New York State license after moving here from Liverpool, she is accompanied by a driver. For that sheโs grateful as driving always made her incredibly nervous anyways.
Violet earns 52,261 dollars post tax annually. As a qualified professional with now ten years of experience (if she lies and pretends she continued to work in the industry after marrying Colson, which she does on every single CV) she is currently getting paid $25p/h which is on par as the industry standard for someone of her position in New York. Violet gets an annual bonus of varying rates dependent on her sales over the financial year. This is typically between 450-850 dollars. Over all, Violet is typically quite good with her money, with the caveat being: when she is firmly on routine. When Violetโs mental health is affected to the point her daily routines are disturbed, it can throw off the rhythm of every other part of her life, particularly when her ADHD is especially disruptive, leading to impulsive spending.
Violet typically hasย $4020 a month post tax, her monthly expenses break down to:
RENT: $1320 ( Violet pays 330 dollars out of the 1050 per week, as the cost is split between herself and two other women, one of their roommates paying a higher rate for the bedroom with the private ensuite. Utilities and internet costs are also split evenly amongst the girls. )
UTILITIES: $130
INTERNET: $30
PHONE: $35
PUBLIC TRANSPORT: $127ย ( Violet gets the thirty day passes as she uses public transport every day. )
GROCERIES: $400ย ( Violet tends to eat dinner during her volunteer shift with the children so she keeps her grocery list small, the cost would probably be marginally less if she didnโt enjoy nice cheese so much. )
NONESSENTIAL SPENDING: $600ย ( Her โfunโ money, for drinking, movies, hobbies, etc. )
SAVINGS CONTRIBUTION: $1000ย ( Violet does her best to ensure a quarter of every pay check goes to her rainy day fund. )
INVESTMENTS CONTRIBUTION: $350ย ( A habit she picked up from Colson, while he would advise her that savings are essentially useless and that her money should be working for her and not the other way round; along with other obnoxious daddyโs money jargon; she did continue to update her investment portfolios she retained from the divorce and has put a modest amount into crypto currency over the past 18 months that has recently doubled. She canโt buy a ferrari, but it was nice to have a little cushion should life turn upside down again. )
๐๐ข๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ญ ย ๐ก๐๐ ย ๐๐ฅ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ย ๐ก๐๐ ย ๐ก๐๐ซ ย ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ ย ๐ก๐จ๐๐๐ข๐๐ฌ. ย Four ย months ย of ย flute, ย football ย for ย a ย season, ย dragon ย books ย for ย a ย year.โ ย Things ย had ย always ย been ย so ย uncompromisingly ย riveting ย until ย they ย werenโt. ย As ย she ย wriggled, ย jumping ย in ย place ย to ย pull ย the ย costume ย up ย over ย her ย hips ย her ย back ย collided ย with ย the ย bathroom ย door, ย earning ย a ย grunt ย of ย frustration. ย This ย costume ย was ย the ย amalgamation ย of ย a ย years ย worth ย of ย abandoned ย fixations. ย Her ย papier-mรขchรฉ ย phase ย that ย had ย briefly ย bled ย into ย an ย obscure ย piรฑata ย collection ย that ย culminated ย in ย a ย horrific ย near ย indestructible ย clown ย head ย that ย sheโd ย made ย for ย the ย kids ย last ย day ย of ย summer ย vacation ย that ย ultimately ย took ย two ย adults ย with ย hammers ย to ย crack ย open ย โโ ย after ย a ย good ย half ย hour ย of ย letting ย the ย kids ย at ย it ย unrestrained ย with ย a ย baseball ย bat. ย Her ย sewing ย craze ย where ย sheโd ย made ย her ย own ย dresses ย and ย a ย tote ย bag ย for ย just ย about ย everyone ย sheโd ย ever ย met, ย which ย resulted ย in ย meters ย of ย unused ย fabric ย clogging ย her ย closet ย after ย the ย thought ย of ย sewing ย another ย became ย suddenly ย as ย entertaining ย as ย lodging ย her ย taxes. ย Finally, ย her ย painting ย period ย which ย ended ย almost ย as ย abruptly ย as ย it ย began ย when ย she ย realised ย it ย was ย not ย a ย talent ย she ย naturally ย adopted ย and ย that ย while ย it ย was ย easy ย to ย think ย of ย elaborate ย art, ย it ย wasnโt ย easy ย to ย execute. ย The ย possumโs ย face ย was ย the ย closest ย to ย a ย fulfilled ย vision ย Violet ย had ย ever ย come ย with ย a ย paint ย brush. ย But ย it ย felt ย good ย to ย finally ย burn ย through ย the ย remnants ย of ย those ย fleeting ย eraโs, ย freeing ย up ย space ย in ย her ย room ย and ย mind ย as ย she ย put ย the ย materials ย to ย use ย after ย so ย long ย stagnant. ย So ย good ย in ย fact, ย sheโd ย spent ย accumulatively ย nearly ย sixty ย hours ย on ย the ย little ย bastard.
โ Hold ย on ! ย Itโs ย worth ย it ย I ย promise ! โ ย She ย yelped ย through ย the ย door, ย struggling ย as ย she ย twisted ย her ย torso ย unnaturally, ย trying ย to ย see ย her ย back ย in ย the ย mirror ย as ย she ย positioned ย the ย babies ย along ย her ย spine ย with ย their ย little ย velcro ย adapted ย feet. ย Despite ย her ย and ย Colson ย spending ย the ย last ย two ย years ย trapped ย in ย a ย fluctuating ย separation, ย theyโd ย worn ย a ย couples ย costumes ย as ย recently ย as ย the ย past ย Halloween. ย Romeo ย and ย Juliet, ย disturbingly. ย The ย silliness ย of ย her ย costume ย now ย felt ย comforting, ย knowing ย it ย would ย have ย horrified ย him. ย She ย fastened ย the ย last ย of ย the ย seven ย possums ย right ย between ย her ย shoulder ย blades, ย smiling ย to ย herself ย as ย she ย swung ย the ย tail ย back ย and ย forth ย in ย the ย mirror ย clumsily. ย Nights ย spent ย super ย gluing ย fur ย to ย her ย fingers ย began ย to ย feel ย worth ย it ย now ย the ย absurdity ย of ย it ย was ย all ย together, ย though ย she ย was ย certain ย her ย roommates ย would ย disagree. ย Both ย were ย rather ย disappointed ย Violet ย wouldnโt ย be ย joining ย them ย on ย their ย endeavours ย to ย make ย out ย with ย as ย many ย Michael ย Myers ย as ย possible. ย She ย slid ย the ย giant ย head ย over ย her ย own, ย struggling ย already ย to ย see ย out ย of ย the ย little ย eye ย holes ย sheโd ย carved ย in ย itโs ย mouth.
โ So !ย โ ย She ย announced, ย peeking ย the ย door ย open ย as ย she ย peered ย the ย disturbing ย snout ย through ย the ย crack ย before ย bursting ย out ย arms ย wide ย in ย a ย ๐๐ ๐๐ ! ย fashion. Sheย cranedย herย neckย rightย back,ย tryingย toย lookย upย atย hisย faceย withoutย the. headย slidingย andย blockingย herย view,ย theย inconvenienceย doingย nothingย toย dampenย herย excitement.ย โ What ย do ย you ย think ? โ ย She ย asked ย brightly. ย โ Neat,ย huh ? โ
With this being Violetโs first Halloween officially divorced from her husband she half expected herself to slip on a corset and pretend for a night she wasnโt bitter about it. But it is also the first Halloween she has vowed to go home alone, rather than a spooky one night stand. She still wanted to have fun and attention and life that comes with an over the top costume but none of the romantic or sexual connotations to go with it. This costume came about as a horrific amalgamation of her hobbies over the last six months from papier-mรขchรฉ to her sewing machine that she hadnโt touched since the hobby suddenly lost all appeal four months ago after sewing 13 dresses in 8 weeks. She went to various events and seemingly lost a possum baby in every venue, the first casualty of the night given to a girl crying in the bathroom of her club about her boyfriend flirting with a sexy maid for comfort and prosperity in her trying times. She also had to tie her tail around her waist to avoid it being stepped on all night after nearly losing a drink when she was suddenly jarred back mid-step. Over all, she wished sheโd just gone as Slutty Rainbow Fish like her roommate had suggested.
Volunteer Work: Family Matters; a New York based not for profit that has routine meal deliveries and donations of essential items for struggling families particularly with high social work intervention. After Hours Care; a branch off of Family Matters that provides activities (along with breakfast, lunch and tea) to children who need a safe place to be when they donโt have school, running primarily on the bulk of school vacation time but also every Friday afternoon, holding various activities.
a few trigger warnings for cancer mention, death mention, divorce and infidelity mention along with some themes of mental illness.
TLDR; Violetโs current arc, is learning coping skills to survive New York on her own after a lifetime of aggressive codependency. She is recently divorced and is now twenty-eight and still struggling to find a career/ motivation to even have one after postponing major life events in favour of relationships. Violet is also using herย โfree timeโ to experiment more-so with her sexuality. Despite being bisexual, Violet has had a largely heteronormative life and has until now has had very little time or knowledge of queer spaces and is looking to broaden her horizon and knowledge while remaining single.
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐:
Violet had never liked to be alone, something that was evident about her from the very beginning. Her mother liked to joke that she and her brother had only been premature because sheโd been so eager to meet everyone, a light hearted anecdote that had persevered through the dark time. Miles had been born with a heart condition, aggravated by their early arrival. Violet had been little but healthy with a good set of strong lungs that wailed ceaselessly when she was separated from her twin. The world was new and frightening and from the first breath, Viโ resented change. Eventually, by the grace of god or medicine depending on who you asked, her brother was able to return home and the pair were reunited. He wasnโt cured, but he was present and the family learned to make do with that.
Violet was a vivacious child as she began to sprout and a nuisance to watch over. She would toddle up to anyone on the street, tell them anything and everything that popped into her head just to make conversation. Though her parents were a little strait-laced, they were indulgent, offering apologies and half hearted chides but ultimately endeared to their daughters lively charms. Though overly affectionate with everyone, she was particularly fond of her father for the time she got to have him. Violet the moment she formed words and steps, used them to diligently squawk behind him whenever he was home, riveted by the most mundane of activities purely because of his involvement. Sheโd sit on the roofย of the car while he changed the oil swinging her dangling legs contently, follow him around the yard inspecting the grass for elusive missed spots to declare while he mowed the lawn, asked him every other word in the paper until he relented and read it aloud to her. And she always listened, no matter how dull. Stock market crashes and far off politicians were as good as Peter Rabbit provided her father was the one reading to her, letting her nod along pensively while she pondered what was for dinner. Even at his sickest, bound to hospital beds for weeks at a time, Violet would beg to visit just to busy body whatever the nurses were doing.
When he died, no one could explain it to the five year old Violet. She didnโt understand, the first few days there were no tears, just patience while she waited for him to come home. At times, she spent hours by the window no matter how much her grandmother tried to shoo her away miserably. She had her nose to the glass, waiting for any signs of her father strolling up the street. By weeks end, Violet became frustrated, demanding to go to the hospital to see him no matter how many times she was told that he wasnโt there. Even after they buried him, Violet didnโt truly comprehend until she turned six. Her father would never miss her birthday, whatever childhood fancy and delusion she created was dissolved. From that day Violetโs need for company went from endearing to clinical. Milo was not the only Wiston with a fragile heart. Violet grew despondent anytime she was left alone, choosing to now bother Milo and Holly respectively just to avoid confronting her feelings without distraction and indulgent comfort. The moment Violet was placed around others, it was like a switch set off in her brain, she was radiant and joyful effortlessly once more, when the stimulation was removed she became anxious and emotional once again. It was a burden for an already grieving and strained family, when Violet could not get the affection and attention she desired inside the home, she began to look outside of it.
Violet watched her motherโs loneliness with shallow resentment, not towards the woman herself, but towards the fear it produced in her. She did not want to be alone, not now or ever. Not for five minutes if she could avoid it. After her fatherโs death, Violet became devastatingly aware that everyone and everything dies, giving her intense anxiety she was not emotionally developed enough to understand. Sheโd cry in the carโฆ hell, sheโd cry if any of them got into a car, sheโd cry at the most abstract deaths she could imagine and stress herself terribly with the paranoia. Slowly, she became subconsciously obsessed with filling her life to the brim with people and love so that when they began to drop, she would never be her mother, looking stranded and alone at a partyโโ she never had to fear that she could end up all alone if she had more people around her than she could truly ever lose. She accepted relationships, both platonic and otherwise that were unfulfilling just to ensure that she still felt secure.
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There are a handful of calls that no mother ever wants to receive; Violet wasnโt sure where your sixteen year old daughter went to Scotland with her boyfriend and eloped fell in the top ten, but she was certain it ranked highly by the previously undiscovered octave her mothers shrieks reached when she heard the news. Violet had always had boyfriends, sometimes that meant a boy who barely spoke to her like Tyler in the fourth grade, other times, evidently, it meant Shane from the grade above who sheโd fallen into puppy love with six months prior who was stoned and impressionable enough to drive a country over and marry her when their cute little declarations turned to unrealistic and unvetted promises of eternity. To Violet it was a fairytale come true and the start of a happily ever after as though she should be on her way to the final chapter at sixteen. To Shane it was a display of his maturity, he wanted to prove he was all grown up and what was more grown up than getting married? Having children, he supposed, but that would come after the wedding. At least it would have, had their parents not dragged them back to Liverpool with their tails between their legs.
While the marriage was legal in Scotland, for England to recognise the marriage they needed their parents permission which was explicitly denied. On the grounds of their marriage being illegal in their country of residence, their parents were able to seek an annulment which was granted. Violet had never seen her mother so angry, she skittered around her like a wary cat trying to avoid her presence while being grounded, but it didnโt work. Her disappointment permeated every room of the house. Even still, Violet was not entirely deterred. This was their hiccup, their obstacle. So their first wedding was annulled, their second would be all the more of a triumph for it. Of course it was ridiculous, everyone saw it but her. So desperate to skip the hazy part of life where adolescence ends before you settle into real life that she didnโt care it was with Shane, who she wasnโt even sure she liked all of the time. To her, real life was children, a family, a spare and a spare and a spare. Sheโd never prepared herself for anything else.
So when she turned eighteen and was met with a break up rather than proposal, she panicked. She had no plans for university, most of her classes sheโd only managed to graze through due to her inattentive day dreaming during her lessons. They had planned a life together- at least she thought they had. They would get married, heโd work for his uncle and they could have babies right away, that way if she wanted to study later on she wouldnโt be old, it had seemed so practical at the time until she was out on her arse. He wanted to see the real world, see life outside of his high-school fling, she did not. To her the real world was the love stories she consumed online, carefully cultivated, she wanted to slot into a fantasy, one where she was always happy, one where she was always loved, one where no one died.
She applied around town at every shop with a flyer in the window, with no post graduation plans, she floundered. She lucked into a position within an optometry clinic, working as a dispenser. As it turned out, flattery and chatting until the person hadnโt noticed their total was a natural skill set of someone like Violet, she did well and progressed through her training. But it didnโt take long for her to fall back on old habits. She dated the business mailman. Next the baker across from them. After that she had a brief but hopeful romance with the dog groomer around the corner. A series of unfortunate flings followed in succession, from the moment she and Shane broke up, accumulatively Violet spent all of three months single until she met her next husband at age twenty.
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Colson had been a fresh faced lawyer six years her senior. Recently graduated from Cambridge despite hailing from New York and in need of a pair of glasses that made him look โdignifiedโ. He was charming, funny and she was smitten quickly, as she always was. No one made her feel like he had. She felt so grown up, so mature. After years of wishing to skip the chapters of her youth and wake up a magically established woman, she found that in him. They went to expensive restaurants and drank wine while watching the news. She felt suddenly thirty, despite being only twenty. He stayed in England for her an additional two years, because she had asked him and that made her feel powerful too. He worked hard and began to insist she should find a more suitable career. She liked her clinic, it was quiet, friendly and paid okay, but he was right. She would move onto bigger and better things, for once she felt as though she had a partner that motivated her, something so enthralling she didnโt even notice he was as detrimental as the others and she pursued higher and higher positions at his insistence rather than her own ambition.
The pair were engaged within two years of dating and Colson began expressing his desire to return home to New York, even get married there. She hadnโt even taken the time to consider all that sheโd be leaving behind, instead blindly saying yes with an adoring smile. And so they moved, filing for her to stay once they had already purchased an apartment in his name. They got married in the same church as his parents had, and when heโd asked if his father could walk her down the aisle, sheโd agreed, despite wishing it had been her mother instead. Violet had thought babies would be a natural next step, and they tried often. At least, she had thought they had. Colson had gotten a vasectomy at nineteen at the insistence of his parents after a blunder with his high school girlfriend. She tried to be understanding, play the part of the good wife who wasnโt angry and said that he could simply have it reversed, that many men often did and it was no big deal: but he hadnโt wanted that of course. Heโd carried out the surgery for a reason, unsure if he wanted children at all after the scare. Something she realised theyโd never spoken about. Sheโd simply assumed that by marrying her, he wanted the nuclear life. Two kids and a dog and whatever else she had come to expect of a marriage, for the first time since meeting him, Violet had a fleeting thought: is this what I want?
When he wanted to start his own firm she supported him, she made his meetings, ran the book keeping, took it upon herself to remodel what she could of the building as she consumed youtube DIY after youtube DIY, staying up as late as him just trying to fill all the blank positions she could while they attempted to get off their feet. They were both working 19 hour days for months on end, with time they grew. By the end of year one, she no longer had to act as the secretary or janitor. By year two, she was no longer the book keeper. By year three, she didnโt attend the office at all beyond office parties and she was happy to see him finding his feet, even if she felt excluded. She was twenty-six, still young and naive. The first few times heโd come home looking dishevelled and nervous, sheโd ignored it. But Violet was shortsighted, not entirely blind. He smelled like expensive perfume when he came home to her, he insisted she no longer needed to go into the office no matter the circumstance. That he wanted a clear divide between work and home, she pretended to believe him until sheโd come home from a weekend with Holly and the sheets reeked of Dolce.
Heโd been fucking his paralegal for at least 6 months, and Violet had no idea if she was the first. When he begged her for a second chance, embarrassingly, sheโd agreed. Theyโd gone to counselling and in her private sessions admitted that despite her anger and broken trust, she was terrified of the thought of divorce and would repair her marriage at any cost to avoid it. It hadnโt been enough. Despite all her forgiveness, despite her eagerness to make it work after he betrayed her entirely, Colson asked for a divorce anyway, stating he no longer could feel good about himself with her and was not resigned to feeling guilty for the rest of his life because of her. It blindsided Violet and suddenly her nice home was gone, the prenup she thought would never come into play left her with essentially nothing despite her own contributions to his โbrandโ.
Now at twenty-eight, she lives in a shared apartment. Back to dispensing work and painfully aware that she is exactly where she was eight years ago with nothing to show for it, except being in a foreign country she was too embarrassed to leave. How could she face her mother if she went home like this? To move back in until the next guy smiled at her and sent her on another escapade around the world? She needed to get stronger, to get better at being alone. This is the first time in her life that sheโs truly giving independence a chance. She wants to be someone that can stand on their own two feet, be someone without being someoneโs. For the first time since she was a teenager, Violet is alone and looking to stay that way.