Maria Calavera

One sassy old lady who decided to get off the train early.

[prodigiosummusae-deactivated202]

@grannycalavera

“Look at our cool grandma, everyone! She’s the best! Her hot cocos are to die for~”

[grannycalavera-blog]

   “I really like this one.  She’s full of energy and spunk.  Life’s not boring with her around!”

[blackviolets-blog1]

Reblog if you can see my icon and it is not pixelized.

That means Tumblr has not flagged my profile as “Sensitive”.

[tatteredheros]

“I have never seen a more sassy and extra as fuck grandma in my entire life…Miss Calavera teach me your ways oh wise one.”

[grannycalavera-blog]

    “It’s simple!  Once you realize that a lot of things that get us upset are trivial matters, you lose the ability to give a hoot.”

     “There’s a lot of things that I don’t worry about these days.  Life’s too short.”

[grannycalavera-blog]

strykingback‌:

grannycalavera‌:

Maria’s shoe goes flying out of nowhere and aims to hit Blade’s head.  "Down boy!  Go take a shower!

“OI!!! WASNT LOOKIN AT THAT!!!” 

  Granny.exe is not convinced.

[infinite-archived-blog]

“HEY.”

“I JUST MET YOU.”

“AND THIS IS CRAZYYYY..”

“BUT YOUR TITS ARE AMAZING??”

“LEMME GROPE THEM MAYBE??”

[strykingback]

“Those… are some definitely nice tits I’m lookin’ at.” 

[grannycalavera-blog]

Maria's shoe goes flying out of nowhere and aims to hit Blade's head.  "Down boy!  Go take a shower!

[grannycalavera-blog]

infinitenessmuses‌:

‘ FUCK THAT, GIVE ME BREASTS.’

     “Here we have Exhibit A.  A classy looking young lady, but she has gone beyond the gateway body part.  Past Handholding, past oogling boobs.  She’s a sinner!”

     “Better to stay pure!”

[grannycalavera-blog]

    “Now if you want to be adopted and freed from the sin of boobies, come get some hot chocolate and a story.”

    “I think I can find a good story to read to you.”

[grannycalavera-blog]

infinitenessmuses‌:

‘ Broom tits.’

“You alright there, young lady?  Do you need a cold shower and a bedtime story too?”

[grannycalavera-blog]

infinitenessmuses‌:

‘ Do you call your breasts brooms cause they’re sweeping the floor?’

   “Careful, Missey, you’re shorter than I was in my youth.  That’s your future!!!”

[grannycalavera-blog]

   “So many degenerates!  First it’s holding hands, now it’s free the boob!!!  Nobody wants to see mine, and that’s fine because I’m not showin’ them!”

    “I knew hand holding was a gateway thing...”

[grannycalavera-blog]

the115project‌:

“You have no idea how many souls I’ve sucked out of a man that way-” NAOKO NO-

   - Granny intensifies -

     “You get your hiney upstairs and take a cold shower!  I will cook up some hot chocolate and read you a bedtime story!  Got to save your soul from all that sinning!”

[grannycalavera-blog]

the115project‌:

“Last time anyone listened to a Remnant Jesus, mankind got fucking nuked.”

   “Ssshhhhh, young one.  I’m your Granny now.  I think you need a cold shower to get your mind off the scaldalous boobie fiasco.  It’s a gateway body part, next thing you know, you’re sucking a dick.”

[servalias]

If you don’t love her at her:

You don’t deserve her at her:

[the115project]

“The tiddy is a gateway to many powers that tumblr would consider….”

“unnatural.”

[grannycalavera-blog]

    “I think you need Remnant Jesus and a cold shower, Missy.”

[grannycalavera-blog]

“You’re a smart one!  Knowing a classy granny when you see one!  Extra cookies for you!”

   “And a knitted Non Descript Winter Holiday Sweater!”

[grannycalavera-blog]

     “If I were still in my prime and met these young ladies and gentlemen?  I would imagine I would change my mind about going into hiding and join in the fight.  But here we are, an old lady tagging along with a group of whipper snappers.  At least I can put my wisdom to good use and teach Ruby about her eyes.”

[grannycalavera-blog]

     “What’s a tracer?  Someone who draws over art for practice?”