Why 2B won’t erase her memories about killing 9S.
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Command didn’t want this.
The requirement for execution was not fulfilled.
Yet still, I had to kill him.
After gently caressing his cheeks, my hands trembled hesitantly as they descended and began tightening around his neck. His throat let out an impulsive choking noise from the lack of air, the mechanical region encroaching upwards. His glowing red eyes squinted in pain, but never closed - he met my blurring vision straight on. Something in my chest ached. I wanted to look away, to spare myself finding the light fade from his eyes once more - to ease the pain I would inevitably find myself drowning in.
Just as he wanted to take in everything I was until his last breath, I wanted the same. To hold the image of “9S” within my memory, no matter how corrupted he became. This ugly moment, was the last we would have of each other. Even as I strangled his consciousness away, even as he stopped struggling, even when his black box signal went offline - I did not look away. His body was lifeless.
The tears finally erupted from my eyes as my grip lessened, the droplets landing on his cheek. It was as if a hole was punctured my chest and the despair I desperately contained spilled forth. I recoiled my hands, shifting them to support his head as I wept. I cradled his body and cried. Memories of the previous times I had killed him resurfaced, each one ripping the hole bigger. I cried out for a god. I cried out for him. I cried out for myself.
I cried out for a long time.
Sometimes she wondered if one day, she would become similar to the Execution unit she and 9S encountered in a building in the City Ruins. The one who wiped her own memories to preserve her own sanity after countless execution missions, yet still descended into madness. Would she become so despair ridden to become insane herself? Would she dare erase her memories?
If she resorted to such an action, then not only would 9S forget her, but she would forget every 9S. She would become a ruthless Executioner with little care towards her Scanner. She would not indulge and secretly adore his antics and tendencies. They would be nothing. Yet their relationship was the thing that kept her sane. He kept her sane. It didn’t matter that he forgot all about her, or his past selves. She would remember. She’d keep him alive in her memories.
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Small and rough fanfiction to help with writing visual novels, and as a service to my children--
