A farewell.
Hello. I know I haven’t posted here in weeks, but unfortunately I am only logging Red to deliver news to those still following me: I am leaving the Pokémon rp community for now. I don’t know when I will be returning or if I ever will. Perhaps the posts I’ve made about me possibly leaving, and my lack of activity overall might have foreshadowed this event- though I only made the final decision a week ago.
I am actually moving fandoms and going by a completely new alias. But I cannot share the specific fandom nor my new alias, because it has to do with why I’m leaving the Pokémon rp community in the first place.
The first reason being is that in this community, I have constantly felt inadequate about my own portrayal, and all of my muses end up becoming stale as a result. I no longer have motivation to rp Red, Black, Darkrai, any of my Pokémon muses because I feel this way about myself so often. And though I have mostly been received warmly with every blog I interact with, the negativity keeps coming back. The reason for this is one I can’t even figure out.
The second reason is that I feel like I can’t really do much more with my muses. Several times, I’ve attempted to make them “new” and “fresh” in this community, trying to focus on a different aspect of their backstory or personality each time I do this. Those of you who remember when my Red and Black blogs were crimson–silence and uniima respectively will understand this well. This community seems to get really excited when new blogs pop up but people who have been in the community for a year or more, such as myself, often get ignored for fresher portrayals (often with fancy themes and graphics to accompany them). This contributes to the negativity that surrounded me when I was in the community.
The final reason, and the most important reason is that I have dealt with too much drama in this community to warrant me staying here. I refuse to give the names of anyone. However, I will say that the climate of this community, as I have experienced it, is very judgemental and often unforgiving of trivial social faux-pas. I have dealt with and witnessed people getting uptight and angry over the most petty of incidents, people calling each other out because their character said something supposedly offensive, and worst of all- an extreme lack of transparency. People have acted friendly towards me while hiding their animosity from me at the same time, only dumping their hatred onto me when it’s convenient for them. I have been blocked without warning or explanation several times; people have refused to outright tell me when I’ve done something wrong, despite it being in giant bold letters in my rules. Because of these incidents happening so frequently, I have decided that it would be best if I left this toxic environment.
I am now in a fandom where people don’t judge me for minor incidents. People are forgiving, willing to listen, and open to new ideas and opinions. I am a newcomer to the source material. When I started my rp blog there, I was afraid that veterans would isolate me. But I thought wrong. Instead, I was welcomed with open arms, and I’m now part of a lovely open rp group as well. I’m not judged for my opinions or for what I say. I’m surrounded by people who understand me and what I’ve gone through. Some people have even come to this fandom from the Pokémon fandom, in fact. And I’m happy that I’ve found a fandom with a source material so open to interpretation, just waiting for headcanons to make it even more magical.
Some of you who have me on Skype know where I’ve gone, and I ask of you again not to disclose this information to anyone, even if you think the other person might be aware of it. This is for my own safety and mental health, and I would like to distance myself from the Pokémon rp community in this way. You may feel free to message me to ask where I’ve gone, but I will decide whether or not to give you the information.
My blogs will remain here as archives. If I do return to the Pokémon rp community, my blogs will be remade, under the new alias and with different urls, but they will not link to their originals.
It really hurts to say goodbye to this community for now, but I’m happier where I am now, and I think that is a good note to leave on. Thank you all, for the happy memories and the awesome threads- it’s thanks to all of you that my muses were able to develop as they have.
Sincerely, Mewsol
