MELANCHOLY: receiver shares a childhood memory with sender — thisla fml
💗 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒
chill breeze hits him as soon as he opens the door, nose scrunching as he adjusts to the weather, inhaling quick breaths for a moment before he manages to gather himself. it wasn't usually like this — overwhelming — to be around isla's family. saved for a couple months that followed their break up and the few arguments with milo, the glances coming her parents held a glimpse of care that he didn't deserve anymore. and then again the moment he stepped out of rehab, welcoming him with open arms despite everything he had put her, and them, by proxy, through. she was kind enough to allow him back into her life and they followed. no wariness expressed for him to see.
spending time with them was a given from the moment they started dating, many years ago. isla was close with her parents in a way he couldn't understand, not because they didn't deserve it but because he had never experienced it, or witnessed. sure, there were parts of the sykes' routine that matched his own at home. the family dinners, the house packed for christmas' eve and the big birthday parties. but they were never quite the same. he had never seen isla's mom walk back to her room with her head down after her dad had a few too many drinks. things were different at her house. their parties were just as loud, but for different reasons. their christmas' tree was filled with presents, but things they actually bought for each other and not picked from some magazine's list of most purchased toys for kids. they were warm, even if one of their favorite family tradition was to be stuck in a cabin in aspen during the holidays.
he doesn't have to look up to know who's walking into the balcony as he hears the door sliding again, face softening before he searches her eyes. an apologetic look reaches his face, followed by a deep exhale he can't contain. he knew she'd follow, just as he knew their presence would be noticed by everyone else. and he hated it. putting a damp on their celebrations, even if he knew they'd go out of their way to assure him he wasn't doing it. theo slides to the side on the couch, opening up space for isla and wrapping his arm around her body as soon as she's close enough. " i'll go back in a bit, i promise. i'm fine " and he was, or he would be. a few minutes of silence was all he needed, a few minutes to reorganize his thought and remind himself where he was and how he got there — and all the other seven steps his therapist had walked him through so many times.
silence sits between them for a beat and he can feel worry radiating off of her body, even as she attempts to hide it by burying her head against his neck. " nothing happened, it's just— " his voice crack and he hates it, even more now. his attempt to assure her fails before he even starts. he's back at start before he tries again, quick breaths as arm falls down from her shoulder to reach for her hand, intertwining their fingers and tucking them safely into the pocket of his jacket. " i'm really glad your christmas' eve looks like that " he whispers, ignoring the pressure that grows behind his eyes. " it means our kids will have that someday " there's a hint of a grin that grows across his face with the thought, of their family having something nicer than what he was given. " i don't think i ever had both of my parents home for christmas, unless we were spending with some other family " and even then, they would still find ways to ignore him. " this is nice, i promise " overwhelming, but definitely nice. a type of happiness he would have to get used to.
a few minutes pass without him saying anything else, his breath slowing down as thumb draws small circles against her skin. he presses a kiss on the top of her head, inhaling the scent of shampoo combined with something he can't quite pinpoint, maybe the smell of the cookies she tried to bake with maddie earlier. " milo was definitely hiding a card under his seat " he mutters, all of the sudden, offering a smile when she finally looks up to him. there's a bit of fake confidence feeding him right now but he doesn't care. he wouldn't want her to spend any more minutes outside because of him, almost as much as he doesn't wanna miss out on the warm her family is offering him in the living room right now. " he always tucks it down when you take a sip, keep the eyes out " he carries on the subject, rising from the couch and pulling her hand with him, offering another assuring smile before pressing a kiss to her lips. " let's go, i'll watch him for you this time "
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