greek_psyche

18 years old, INTP, cancer

[greek-psyche]

"Like one, that on a lonesome road. Doth walk in fear and dread. And having once turned round, walks on, And turns no more his head; Because he knows, a frightful fiend. Doth close behind him tread."

-Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

[greek-psyche]

Just finished watching a movie, new personality unlocked

[robinarchive]

Elliott Smith playing Rachmaninoff’s prelude (Op.3 no. 2). Never fails to amaze me.

[greek-psyche]

Why do I feel so empty?

[les-fleur]

A Man and a Woman (1966, dir. Claude Lelouch)

[babydoll-4444]

[greek-psyche]

Finally, I took my anti-depressants again.

[whoislz]

✨️Glitter >>>

[vampurrss]

[greek-psyche]

I'm making the decision not to be consumed by media. As much as I love social media, it has been extremely damaging to my mental health, so I've decided to delete tiktok

All I've done is endlessly consume content that is not in my control well, kind of but at the same time not. Obviously, there's so much good to tiktok as well as bad, and recently, I've been getting most of the bad end.

But I just think this is the best decision for me, I'd like to be more in control of the type of media that I'm viewing, something that will fuel my brain instead of something that's taking away from it, tiktok can be and has definitely been an unhealthy obsession

Obviously, everyone's experience with everything is different, and this is just my opinion and personal experience

[greek-psyche]

Just deleted tiktok

[greek-psyche]

Genuinely, what the hell am I doing!??!?!?!?

[greek-psyche]

I'm so tired, I tired of everything... life feels like so much and I've been constantly trying to manipulate myself into thinking I'm okay, I laugh and smile as if I'm the happiest person on earth, I try and make those around me smile and laugh too. But the truth is even though I laugh ... and smile. I feel empty inside as if there's a huge gaping hole In my heart or soul, something feels missing and I don't know what it is.

No one understands me, and no one ever will but then again I'm not asking for someone to understand me all I'm asking for is empathy towards my emotions which I don't even understand. And sometimes it feels as if no one is empathetic to my mental battles that I so often speak of these days, because I smile and laugh it feels as if they don't the screams and crying as seriously

I know I always present as fine, but the truth is I'm not, I'm in such physical and mental pain everyday, it hurts and is very tiredsome.

Slowly everyday I'm trying to give myself hope, trying to find joy, but it's just so hard deep down at times that it's really hard to feel some sort of contentment in my life

Slowly, I thought my life was moving back on track. Everything seemed to get better for a while, or maybe I just convinced myself it was getting better

I'm currently experiencing some sort of a low ...

[greek-psyche]

Went to an Art Gallery Today 🎨🖼

[greek-psyche]

☆ May favorites ☆

Chocolate croissants

Mocha

Grace Bella [YouTube channel)]

Not for the radio [ Album: Melt ]

William Harris teapots/teasets

Autumn leaves on the ground 🍂

Birds chirping 🐦

Classical music

Reading by the Fireplace

Nightly sweet treats

Solo dates

Thrift hauls

The colour Green [mountain terrain, trees, moss and grass]

These are a few things that I have learnt to love over the past month of May, also my favorite things that I have done this month.

[greek-psyche]

Does it ever get better? Will the voices in my head stop? I feel crazy and scared, I'm so scared of myself. Does that even make sense?

[greek-psyche]

Recently, I've been trying to go out at least once a week, being inside for too long drives me insane I feel as if I might lose my mind and too many bad thoughts fill my head.

But when I do things sporadically, all of them tend to disappear. Last week I went to the beach again, but this time, I got into the water, and I stayed there for some time ... It felt nice.

Tomorrow, I feel like going out again. I'm not sure what I want to do. I don't have a plan. I usually never do. All I know is I feel like running away again, and so running away is what I'll do.