green apples

life tastes sour

[green0apples]

When I'm in my cave, and I'm summoned to come out, laughter is usually the tactic (or food).

Dispite the urge to smile, even for a moment, there's more of a need to breakdown where I stand.

[green0apples]

Falling hard for a friend...

Holding my breath waiting for the storm to calm. Emotions pushing me violently against the crests and troughs praying away the idea that we might capsize.

This time...I open my eyes; not to a distant, clear horizon, but looking down from the sky on where I once was... scared and afraid...I'm in heaven.

[green0apples]

[green0apples]

"When you get burned, you don't have to explain to the fire why you took your hand away"

-unknown

[green0apples]

I wrote this in college a few years back...might share the others from the "cringe vault." 🙃

[green0apples]

It sucks to be told to suck it up...

It sucks not to receive a tissue for tour tears, or a few kind words.

It sucks when people see your struggling to breath, to move, to feel, fake a smile and perk up.

It sucks sucks when you can't just open up and unpack the gunk and let it go...

...because there's always gonna be someone telling you to suck it up.

[green0apples]

STUCK

It's always when you least expect it...

Whenever you're walking along...nothing's wrong, but out of nowhere, you start to sink...

Drown...

Suffocate...

Whenever you catch a break and rest, a boulder falls and crushes you...holds you down for thirty minutes...

An Hour...

All day...

[green0apples]

“Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.” – Unknown

[green0apples]

"I should probably stop drinking coffee..."

Naaaah...☺️☕

[green0apples]

It's always when you go to destination alone one would potentially feel peace & impending doom at once.

Like when when your teeth ate sensitive, and you eat a popsicle on a hot day...it's uncomfortable.

[green0apples]

"We think it's time to take a break"

"No..." I say in protest. "We've barely gotten to work.

Again they say to "take a break"

"Nay" I say "We're not allowed to play! We're not allowed to sleep, think...we'll grab a snack later...our eyelids must stay open."

When it is time to finally sit...

Something within still tells us "not yet..."

[green0apples]

Hours...Minutes...

They bleed together...a crimson shirt in a load of brights.

Time lost running in circles.

The shapes gyrate around my mine.

That is to say the circles are sheres and it's a motocross cage (or whatever they call those things)...

...what were we talking about?

[green0apples]

Sometimes in the darkness of solitude

After drowning in everyone else's colorful waves.

In the darkness solitude

You might be lucky enough to find pinpricks of who you once were.

[green0apples]

[green0apples]

“I didn’t want my picture taken because I was going to cry. I didn’t know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I’d cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.” ― Sylvia Plath

[green0apples]

It’s piling up again.

The sink is full...it’s filled with pizza sauce water and soap. Fibers in the carpet matted together by dust mites and crusted food. A smell the emanates from the other room...it’s wet laundry I panic...my room keeps me in stasis. My sheets keep me in the tightest embrace. The sink is full...I need to empty it, but...