Person of Interest: Artemis Fowl (Jr.)
INTERPOL’s Criminal Information System (ICIS)
File Number: 8226854768
Record ID: 930AF66QP0
Present Family Name: Fowl
Forename: Artemis
Sex: Male
Date of birth: 01.09.1989
Place of Birth: Dublin, Ireland
Nationality: Irish
File opened: 1999
Status: Investigation ongoing.
Investigator: [REDACTED]
Suspected of:
Ties to criminal organisations.
Forging of documents.
Fraud.
1999, March
Business transaction with a criminal organisation suspected;
Person of interest was recorded in a meeting with a suspected criminal Kronski, Damon (investigation ongoing).
Affiliated with the group: Extinctionist (investigation ongoing).
File Updated:
2001, December
Interference with surveillance recorded on 24th of December 2001 between hours of 00-08.
Surveillance resumed without incident.
File Updated:
2002, December
Business transaction with a criminal organisation suspected;
Fowl, Artemis (Sr.) recovered from The russian mafiya (investigation ongoing).
File Updated:
2003, March
Business transaction with a criminal organisation suspected;
Person of interest was recorded in a meeting with a suspected criminal Spiro, John (investigation ongoing).
Interference with surveillance.
Property damage. Number of people treated for injuries sustained at the scene.
No casualties reported.
Additional notes: Fowl and his bodyguard were last seen on scene at London, yet surveillance showed both back in Dublin hours later. There's no records of their flight back to Ireland.
Additional notes: Spiro, John apprehended by local police department. Made a lot of weird comments about Fowl before his lawyers shut him up.
File Updated:
2004, July
Person of interest reported missing.
File Updated:
2006, July
Person of interest assumed dead.
File Closed.
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File Updated:
2007, June
Person of interest recorded at place of residence.
Additional notes: Okay what the actual fuck??? This kid goes missing at the Taipei 101 in 2004, and believe you me, we looked at all of those tapes, from the cameras at the scene and every camera from ten blocks surrounding it. The. Kid. VANISHED. Poof, into thin air. No trace. The family made no comment. The bodyguard was a fucking brick wall. And now he's back? And he looks the fucking same, that's the insane part, he looks the exact same as he did in 2004. He was gone for 3 years and didn't age a day.
What the hell.
File Updated:
2007, September
Surveillance lost on person of interest during travel to Iceland.
Investigation ongoing.
File Updated:
2008, July
Person of interest reported dead.
Date of Death: March 28th, 2008
File Closed.
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File Updated:
2008, September
Interference with surveillance at the place of residence on September 1st 2008.
Person of interest recorded at place of residence.
Additional notes: Okay the kid was dead! He was definitely dead! The family reported him dead and there was a funeral and they put his body into the ground, that's how dead he was. But there he is! Walking around! Back from the dead! AGAIN!
Is he a zombie? Are zombies real?? Is that why he keeps coming back???
Additional notes: Like let's just take this from the top; the kid starts following his father to a life of crime, meeting other criminals and all that, ok, pretty standard, but then the dad goes missing and the kid starts just travelling around, just randomly? And then there's those surveillance interferences where we lose eyes on the manor for a bit and suddenly the family has funds again? like that's weird.
And then the dad comes back and everything settles for a bit.
The kid then has that weird meeting with Spiro where the restaurant gets absolutely demolished, and a bunch of people had their ear drums and teeth fucked up, which is so fucking weird, and the kid just APPEARS back in Ireland after? How the fuck did he get back there anyway?
And here's where things start to get real fucking weird right, the kid's habits just change. Just totally different for a year, like a flip was switched.
Then comes another weird bout of travelling, again seemingly random. And I don't wanna sound insane but I swear that kid is in that old mosaic in Spain. (Okay the kid might be a vampire actually.)
And then he disappears.
I've been over this. Just into thin air he goes. And I'm like well I just gotta dig deeper, no one just disappears like that.
So we start talking to people. The family is a no go, The bodyguard even less so. So we go to the people he had business with, and things get so much weirder.
Spiro still claims that it was Fowl that tricked him into raiding Phonetix. That the kid was able to disappear at will and had ghosts working for him. At this point I almost believe him.
His bodyguard, Blunt, says that he killed the kid's bodyguard and that he came back to haunt him, so he wasn't any help either. (Are they both ghosts? or vampires? do vampire ghosts exist?)
And Kronski was the fucking weirdest. He swears up and down and sideways that he never even met the kid.
Fuck the whole thing left us with more questions than answers.
And then the kid comes back. As if he was never even gone. The bodyguard comes back from his weird little exile and the two just go back to normal.
A year later this weird shit just keeps piling on, the kid keeps getting more and more erratic until he disappears in Iceland (again, what's with this kid and disappearing?) when an meteorite or some shit hits the place he was at. And don't get me started on the weird shit we found on scene that fucking melted before we could log it.
And after that the whole damn world went to hell in a handbasket. And I think it was because of that kid. No way, all this bullshit happens around him and he didn't have anything to do with that.
And he's dead. Very very dead. And buried six feet under.
Less than a year later he's walking around again. Nope. No.
That's some zombie vampire ghost shit right there. I fucking know that kid isn't right and I will prove it.
_____________________________________________________________
Investigator [REDACTED] has been removed from case [AF-8226854768], impending investigation.
Last notes are to be struck from record.