Gregory House, M.D.

The one and only.

[gregs-house]

INTRODUCTION

(main: @breathlessandbloody )

Queue

You're here because either:

1. You're dying, and WebMD didn't give you the answer you wanted.

2. You're curious about the inner workings of a genius.

3. ...You just randomly stumbled upon this post on your recommended.

I'm Dr. Gregory House. I currently run the Diagnostic Medicine department at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

I'm the guy who figures out what’s wrong with you before you stop breathing. I do it because the human body is a beautifully screwed-up machine, and I like puzzles.

This blog will be the unfortunate dumping ground for:

1. Medical cases I’ve solved while pretending to listen.

2. Wilson-related disasters. ( @drjewilson )

3. The occasional clinic horror story. ( @ppthconfess )

4. Whatever morality lesson Cuddy tried to shove down my throat last week. ( @ppthdeancuddyofficial )

(This blog is suited for a mature audience. Because... y'know, I'm a grown man.)

Welcome to the House of Diagnostics.

Now get off my lawn.

— H

// OOC: Do NOT take medical advice from me! It is important to consider that I am NOT a doctor, alas, I am a premed student with a large medical and House MD obsession. But I still appreciate and love answering medicine-related asks, so do what you will.

Any genuine users seeking advice can be rerouted to my direct messages. But keep in mind, I am NOT a doctor! I’m a student! Although I think highly of my own medical knowledge, I’ve only done independent studies. I’m practically House without the degree.

On another hand, I’ve come to terms that with whatever I’ve written and will write, I could live with the fact that someone took my advice and had bad consequences. Advice is strongly suggesting that a person take one course of action versus another, so do not assume I am all-knowing.

I also avoid one word and gibberish asks. I appreciate weird stuff too but like also please dont put like some crazy shit about how you broke into fort knox to steal some dabloons😭 or just anything that could possibly be crossing the line for someone on my blog

[drhouseasks-deactivated20251030]

trying so hard to keep posting on this account and not eventually abandon it 😔 adhd culture

[gregs-house]

I broke into ur apartment last night to play welcome to the black parade on your piano

Oh, how the tables have turned. Someone call up Foreman so I can return the favor.

Next time, try knocking. You left my door unlocked and there’s cheese doodle fingerprints on my keys. I’ll give you some hand sanitizer before you touch it next time.

Are you trying to court me via criminal trespass or something?

[gregs-house]

can i decorate your cane with stickers? some of them might be glow in the dark :D

- :3 anon

uh sure why not

[gregs-house]

hiii I'm ur 18 yr old patient who's in the clinic. I'm in love with you! PLEASE LET ME HIT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'll leave anon if you say ues PLS HOUSE I LOVE YOU

Okay, this is getting to be a bit much. Am I getting a free gift card when I hit ten?

[gregs-house]

giving u my period cramps rn

no thanks

[gregs-house]

( are crossover ocs and characters from fantasy settings allowed also child characters allowed ? )

ooc: yep, but i tend to avoid them.

[gregs-house]

robotripping

thoughts?

comments?

If you wanted to feel like you’re floating out of your body while vomiting up cherry-flavored syrup, congratulations, you’ve reinvented ketamine.

DXM (dextromethorphan, the stuff in cough meds) in low doses is just a cough suppressant. In high doses, it’s basically an over-the-counter dissociative hallucinogen. Bonus features: nausea, vomiting, and seizures.

It’s stupid, it’s dangerous, and it tastes terrible.

But hey, if your life goal is to have a coroner write “cause of death: Robitussin” on your chart, who am I to stand in your way?

// This blog simply provides general information and my recommendations about health and wellness. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please seek advice from someone who is a qualified health provider. Never disregard other medical advice or delay in seeking it because of information on my blog. Rely on anything on this message solely at your own risk. I’m a random premed student who is pretending to be a fully grown man from a 2000's TV show.

Any genuine users seeking advice can be rerouted to my direct messages. But keep in mind, I am NOT a doctor! I’m a student! Although I think highly of my own medical knowledge, I’ve only done independent studies. I’m practically House without the degree.

On another hand, I’ve come to terms that with whatever I’ve written and will write, I could live with the fact that someone took my advice and had bad consequences. Advice is strongly suggesting that a person take one course of action versus another, so do not assume I am all-knowing.

[gregs-house]

OOC: believe it or not i used to get a FUCK ton of asks. im talking my ask box was filled up to like 60 one day lmfao. rn its about 15 but that might become like a lot so im making a little google sheet thing so you guys are up to date lol. (this will be on my pinned post soon)

REQUEST BOXES

REQUEST BOXES

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// greory house ask blog gets a billion asks a day, millions unsurprised.

[drhouseasks-deactivated20251030]

I get like one if im lucky 😭

[gregs-house]

ooc: step up ur game fr‼️‼️ i believe in you my fellow house ask blog

[gregs-house]

OOC: believe it or not i used to get a FUCK ton of asks. im talking my ask box was filled up to like 60 one day lmfao. rn its about 15 but that might become like a lot so im making a little google sheet thing so you guys are up to date lol. (this will be on my pinned post soon)

REQUEST BOXES

REQUEST BOXES

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// me when i forget to.... post.... all the time. so busy watching house md that i forget to post on my house md character askblog

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// WHOOPS i disappeared for a month again DAMMIT

[gregs-house]

reblogging this again because… i keep disappearing. ill be up and running in a week i think

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// YOURE ALIVE?????

[gregs-house]

//shockingly… yes.

ive never been a big hamilton guy or anything but i feel like

[administratorlisacuddy]

// HELLO OTHER CUDDY BLOG whenever i see your posts i hope you know it makes me feel like

(this is a good thing. btw)

AAAAAA YAY!!

IVE ONLY SEEN ONE OTHER CUDDY BLOG HELLO!!

Cuddy is soo cool btw. Which means im cool. which means your cool.

(ooc)

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// WE ARE BOTH COOL!! MORE CUDDYS FOR THE HELLSITE!!!!!

[lisacuddy-md]

/MORE CUDDYS YAYAYYA/

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// LETS GOOOO!!!!!

[gregs-house]

​OOC: since im miraculously going to be active soon i just have to say from a VERY VERY VERY commonly picked character to roleplay this is so funny i love you guys. if i could go back in time id 100% be a cuddy or a cameron

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// me when i forget to.... post.... all the time. so busy watching house md that i forget to post on my house md character askblog

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// WHOOPS i disappeared for a month again DAMMIT

[gregs-house]

reblogging this again because… i keep disappearing. ill be up and running in a week i think

[gregs-house]

ooc: is it time to pick this blog back up? busy schedule lately, being a premed is hard asf. if i find time i might answer a couple asks a day if i do decide to run it back

[ppthdeancuddyofficial]

// me when i forget to.... post.... all the time. so busy watching house md that i forget to post on my house md character askblog

[gregs-house]

To be answered OOC: do you purposely leave out some asks? It's not an issue just asking out of curiosity because my ask hasn't been answered for a while now lol

ooc: ive been leaving out the gibberish asks lately, but if you put in a genuine ask and it hasn't been answered yet, I either just haven't gotten to it yet because of my schedule

but tbh I think ive accidentally deleted an ask or two here and there😭 try re asking it, sorry for the trouble

[gregs-house]

I'll share too, my coworker said I should-

I got a stye about a month ago, which would be fine, except any acne I have is cystic, so my eyelids been swollen since.

We joke, saying that she elbowed me to knock me down a peg. (I’m short, her elbow is the exact height to do it-)

The only thing is, is today it's started getting angrier, red, and sore to the touch.

Help-

:/ anon

A stye lasting a month? Sounds like a probable chalazion (fancy term for “eyelid cyst that's becoming a squatter.")

It's red, swollen, and painful? That means it’s probably gotten reinfected.

Warm compresses are a common self-treatment, but that ship may have sailed.

See a doctor.

(Not me. PLEASE stop showing up at the clinic asking for me.)

Worst-case scenario, they have to drain it. Which sounds awful but is actually kind of cool, if you like disgusting things.

Keep an eye on it. Literally. You only get two.

// This blog simply provides general information and my recommendations about health and wellness. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please seek advice from someone who is a qualified health provider. Never disregard other medical advice or delay in seeking it because of information on my blog. Rely on anything on this message solely at your own risk. I am quite literally some random premed student who is pretending to be a fully grown man from a 2000's TV show.