Zoomin on them uppers so ima just write some shit here where nobody gonna read it lol.
Real shit what annoys me the most about the way things have gone for me is that like I’m always super transparent about my goals for codependency and like where I wanna end up. And everybody on board for it. But then it’s like somethin happen and I never know what and all of a sudden it’s an issue. And that shit feels like betrayal on 10 cuz I’m 100% clear about my intentions. Just wanna care about someone and journey through this shit with someone. Like I don’t really get why people act like that comes with these expectations and shit. I don’t really care about forcing things I don’t really care about trying to make shit what it isn’t. But it’s like if I say this where I want shit to go and you say you feel the same but you don’t actually feel that way I just don’t really understand where you expect shit to end up. Shit feel like I’m being used. Cuz I’ll swipe that card for my girl. All I ask for in return is company I can trust. Memories I won’t end up wanting to repress. Like it ain’t no pressure to get it like I got it. I dropped hella stacks and a year of my time on school to get it like this. I’m respectful of independence. But I’m also genuinely a selfless dude with my earnings. Ain’t really money worth a shit you ain’t got nobody to enjoy it with right? Maybe I just got more of it on my hands than I need. But I’m tired of gettin gutted for being “too serious” cuz I’m an adult with a career. Like I just be going with it as it comes. I don’t appreciate all the times I been blindsided with inexplicable bullshit I ain’t got a defense for cuz it doesn’t make any sense. Shit drives me nuts. And when I’m wylin in my feelings it ain’t good for nobody. I just hope the next time I hear someone say some shit it ain’t them just saying it to make me feel a type of way. Im a grown ass man I just need some honesty from the jump cuz if it ain’t going nowhere ain’t no reason anyone should be getting what they want out of me for the month while they feel like it’s what they want when I’m out here tryna want something forever. I ain’t stupid or “too serious” for knowing what I’ve wanted my whole life and taking steps to position myself to where it’s possible. If you only want me for the night then tell me what I’m here for. You want me around for a while then keep it 100 with me. I got ears and both of em work. Speak the fuck up. I ain’t doin this love me one day want me gone the next day shit again. I’m too valuable.
