thots

main: @bread-gremlin they/them (i seem to mostly rant on here nowadays, please ignore 🙏)

[gremlinhourz]

me and my brother arguing over who talks to people less like its something to be proud of

[gremlinhourz]

thinking of my main blog url which is really big for me,, like i really do not change stuff if i want a new name i make a new blog but i find letting go of the past hard in a way so even though i find my current url cringy i just havent let go of it because ive had it for so long but i think i should change it because like bread-gremlin is such an ancient name and i think id utilize my tumblr a wee bit more if i had a name i liked

[gremlinhourz]

just have to share that in my chorus class my professfor put 3 (presumably) autistic people next to eachother in a scale of masc to fem presenting, like theres person who has like short hair and like general guy fashion style who mentioned theyre autistic, then theres person who has short hair, very gnc shillouete imo, who dresses very like unapologetically their style which is like pastel colors with alot of patterns they havent mentioned autism but like im getting all the righr vibes, then theres me who has longish hair and i think i look very stereotypical girl (like okay no fucking clue what my gender is, i am fine with being referred to as a girl and i do like being feminine but like whenever anything asks what my gender is i click that prefer not to say button like dont know dont care in a way) ANYWAYS i am also autistic so yeah i just noticed that today and needed to share bc i liked it

[gremlinhourz]

getting into jjba (read im on part 5 already ☆) and with that, collecting,,, oh boy,,,, from past endeavors i have realized that less is more, like the less merch i have of something, the more appreciative i am of what i have (and selective about what i get) and the less guilty i feel about the money that i do spend on it,, with this in mind i am trying to not be swayed by deals i am seeing,, we will see how it turns out but i think i will regret buying the mikitaka figure, it is my favorite out of the 4 figures that exist of him, and i cant imagine any new figures being made of him, driving up the aftermarket cost, making me inclined to nab him while ive found him at a comparatively good price! but! alas! i am not completely in love with the figure, his eyes arent green which is like devastating! and like as much as i love his character (and trust me, i do) i know that i shouldnt spend $78 on a figure i dont completely love,, i can save those $78 for his rubber strap that i completely adore! yes yes,, i think i will limit myself to only getting 1 or 2 merch things for now, probably stone ocean jotaro nendoroid, utterly obsessed with his design they cant make me hate you dr. autism ! ! !

[heareriispurr]

class 2a girlies in casual clothes

[gremlinhourz]

genuinely expecting to fail my first class in college!! and its like as much as i can get upset at myself for continuing the cycle of procrastination that ive been trying to break free from for years, i also feel like the reason im primarily upset is because i feel like im disappointing others and/or giving them a bad impression of me. like im not upset because i think i could have done more, im upset because i think other people will think i could have done more. when like honestly with school ive just developed an "it is what it is" attitude, like all i can do is try and try again, and if that means taking eng111, crashing and burning, but most importantly learning, then taking eng111 again, so fucking be it

[gremlinhourz]

just looked through my archive and its like god, 2021 and earlier me was so annoying, but its also like hey! i had to be that person to become who i am today! its mostly just embarrassing because im like what if people see an old post a judge me solely based off it" but its really like who the hell would see an old post besides me :sob:

[gremlinhourz]

think of careers, it definitely has something to do with freminet but i cant get the idea of being a diver out of my head,, but i think what i am most interested in is cultural development and exchange, especially in regards to language and mythology, but its also like why cant i study that and coral reefs at the same time,, also at the same time its like while i was on the beach pondering ocean exploration, it is notable that i was singing the whole time, so its almost like i fantasize of "more" but my core loves of music and writing are constant and always right in front of me

[gremlinhourz]

reigen arataka reaction images

[mitsybubbles]

[gremlinhourz]

i just need to know does anyone else feel like briony from atonement is autistic?? like dgmw i really do get why people dont like her, but that doesnt mean she cant be autistic,,, its like its the way shes gets so caught up in her own thoughts that she fails to recognize other possibilities, like obviously thats not something exclusive to or definitively a part of autism, but i just i feel i definitely do that too,, oh also just adding in there her pride in being tidy and her need for control, and like people always describe her as "pretentious" and "entitled" but like idk i dont see it, like the part where she gets somewhat upset at finding out the twins are wearing her socks, its like idk cecilia didnt ask or let her know that she was letting the twins borrow briony's socks, even though its something small, to someone like briony who seems to value her stuff, i could imagine it would be off putting to find someone had taken/used it without at least letting her have a say in it, like i cant say for sure that she wouldve let them wear the socks if she was asked, but maybe she couldve pointed them to a pair she was more okay with loaning out, like idk, i know in the grand scheme of things and of the story the socks dont matter but i just keep thinking of it,, but also idk i at least have some respect for her because she doesnt try to shift the blame onto anyone else, she even says herself “She would never be able to console herself that she was pressured or bullied. She never was, She trapped herself, she marched into the labyrinth of her own construction, and was too young, too awestruck, too keen to please, to insist on making her own way back.”

[gremlinhourz]

ALSO ALSO THIS IS GOING EVEN MORE INTO THEORY CATEGORY REALLY BUT LIKE HOW SHE OFTEN THINKS OF THINGS AS IF SHES WRITING A STORY,,,, its almost like she uses stories/writing to understand how other people think

[gremlinhourz]

i just need to know does anyone else feel like briony from atonement is autistic?? like dgmw i really do get why people dont like her, but that doesnt mean she cant be autistic,,, its like its the way shes gets so caught up in her own thoughts that she fails to recognize other possibilities, like obviously thats not something exclusive to or definitively a part of autism, but i just i feel i definitely do that too,, oh also just adding in there her pride in being tidy and her need for control, and like people always describe her as "pretentious" and "entitled" but like idk i dont see it, like the part where she gets somewhat upset at finding out the twins are wearing her socks, its like idk cecilia didnt ask or let her know that she was letting the twins borrow briony's socks, even though its something small, to someone like briony who seems to value her stuff, i could imagine it would be off putting to find someone had taken/used it without at least letting her have a say in it, like i cant say for sure that she wouldve let them wear the socks if she was asked, but maybe she couldve pointed them to a pair she was more okay with loaning out, like idk, i know in the grand scheme of things and of the story the socks dont matter but i just keep thinking of it,, but also idk i at least have some respect for her because she doesnt try to shift the blame onto anyone else, she even says herself “She would never be able to console herself that she was pressured or bullied. She never was, She trapped herself, she marched into the labyrinth of her own construction, and was too young, too awestruck, too keen to please, to insist on making her own way back.”

[error-area]

Quotev used to be a big era for creepypasta and undertale kids. It was like tumblr but easy to access because all you needed was an email and password then BAM you're in the community. 12 year old me thought it was easy because wattpad and amino was STRICTLY only on the app store which SUCKED.

[gremlinhourz]

its kinda bullshit that even though i have accommodations i never really get them, like near the end of every school year i have an accommodations meeting thats always hazy and awkward and that is the only time most of my accommodations are acknowledged, and they always ask how its been going with them and i always have to say that i barely use it as if i dont need it but its like literally i dont know how to? like in my 7ish years of having accommodations its never been explained to me how im supposed to use them and i feel so guilty for having them and hate the idea of directly asking the teacher for it because im probably not going to do well anyways so it feels more reasonable for me to turn in an assignment with not alterations late rather than on that the teacher had to take time to organize for me, like obviously i know its mostly my fault that they arent used but still, also like i asked for an accommodation that i really needed and still really need and they said they couldnt give me it because i take high level classes so it would be unfair for me to get it when other students dont, essentially saying that if i cant keep up with the rigorous work load i shouldnt take the class, ignoring the fact that i sored in standard classes so much to the point that my english teacher told me higher level classes would be a better fit for me, like i can do the concepts!! i can learn the course well!!!! its just the fucking work outside of class that kills me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so please can i have an accommodation where i have more class time (or just generally in school time) to work! like very obviously academic success isnt everything, its not bad to be in standard level classes, but it just sounds like fucking bullshit to say i cant have an accommodation because im in a high level class, like you (the school/staff/whatever) literally encourage students to get here and praise me for being here why is it unfair to help me become the best student i can be?

[gremlinhourz]

today just feels so like fall, halloween mcdonalds even, the light air that isnt to humid but also doesnt nip at your skin, early sunsets for longer more enjoyable nights, things are slowing down yet speeding up all at once

[gremlinhourz]

i was making an about me for a sideblog and like i want to put info about myself like pronouns, mbti type, and whatnot because why not but just the thought of doing that for some reason makes me so uncomfortable,,, like i really cant pin point what it is about it but i think it might just be how reminiscent of twitter it is (ik that stuff is in no way a twitter exclusive thing but the only time ive really created a profile like that for myself was on twitter) like idk i feel like once i put that type of information on about mes it becomes less about me enjoying things and more about the personality i present,, so yeah all that needs to be know about me is my interests

[gremlinhourz]

its amazing that when you take care of yourself you feel better

[gremlinhourz]

im so fucking scared of natural disaster you have no idea like ive luckily never been threw one but just the thought of not only all the pain and damage but also being in it is just terrifying