I had to steal this gorgeous image from @tinathelen because it completely embodies everything I adore and enjoy on my birthday! (2/20/20!!) I took my kiddos to the dentist and then they got out of school for snow, so they were thrilled. It’s been a pretty nice day (though my birthdays are always difficult because my mom always went big for birthdays, and I miss her terribly so on mine). This year is very different also. My beloved aunt - who is my only family I’ve left- is not doing well and I haven’t heard from her today. This is the first year I’ve had “without” her. And there’s also changes within me that are very different for me- I haven’t gotten to do my usual birthday “routines” (Olive Garden cake and Victoria magazine rituals), which is ok, but I do miss getting any time to myself or time to do anything for myself. I feel so stretched with kids, responsibilities, a mentally ailing husband that feels like I have a 3rd child that’s needier than the actual 2 children, that all I want to do is sleep- and very often, I sit down in pain myself - because I’m still in desperate need of 2 surgeries myself that I keep trying to put off until we get something settled for the husband- and I literally fall out myself. These are not easy times- on any of us- not the least of which are the children- and I’m constantly trying to keep them uplifted and their attention diverted from the troubles of their dad... it is just all a lot. But through all of this, still...something has clicked with me. I no longer worry myself to distraction about what I did to certain family members who resent me- I now understand why and have peace with it. And I’ve been able to let go of past family hurts of my own because I understand now. I’m going into my 43rd year with a knowing peace I’m so thankful for, and knowing that life doesn’t have to end with what we think is all that is offered us. God doesn’t expect us to be suffering at all times to show our obedience. It’s ok to look into the future and feel something other than fear or dread. And I’m looking forward to that. I’m looking forward. (at Bristol, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8ztYoNpKo1/?igshid=13x65rebci7xw
