#GRIEFSPELL. an indie , private , selective roleplay blog for UMEHARA KAORI , an original character based in the world of PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA & its spin-offs. MUTUALS MUST BE 18 +. as contracted by SILAS ( they/them , 25 , est ). headcanon based + canon compliant + crossover & oc friendly. basic rules below the cut.
𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦.
a study in : we're magical girls. we make hopes and dreams come true. / how long ... do i have to be a magical girl ?? / i'll be okay , as long as i've got you. / am i ... even someone they could love like this ?? / can i really save people the way i am now ?? / my wish ... i wish to be cured , to go home to my family. / i can't afford to have any regrets.
don't be a dick. i'm here to write & have fun , i don't have time or energy for drama. don't godmod , don't steal , & don't try to police me or my content. i am too fucking old for this wesbite sometimes. my border was made by @/lavenderph & edited by me.
nsfw content & triggers. there will almost definitely be nsfw content given the nature of madoka magica , primarily things like blood , murder , violence , mentions of suicide , illness , & others. i also enjoy a lot of DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT content , & if that's not something you like , block me & move on with your life. i also enjoy writing smut every now & then , both on here & on discord , which mutuals are free to ask for for ooc & writing purposes. i have very few hard limits as to what i'm willing to write & i do not subscribe to purity/morality police behaviors. because of these reasons , this blog is NOT MINOR FRIENDLY.
i'm very slow. i work a very demanding job & i'm currently a full-time student in college & i am disabled. if i'm not actively posting replies , always assume i'm on mobile , which is easier on my joints & for days when i'm busy. discord is your best bet at getting ahold of me at any given time as i am logged in on my phone.
ships. as i stated above , this blog is not minor friendly & will contain a decent amount of dead dove do not eat content because i enjoy it & this is my space to have fun. that said , i don't really have any hard rules for what i will or won't ship or write , so pretty much any ship you can think of is on the table. all i ask is that we interact at least a little ic or ooc to get a feel for character chemistry , but aside from that , we're playing barbies & can make them kiss if we want to. i also want to state that i'm not going to write any canon ships without at least a little ooc communication ( namely tan.kan & zen.nezu ) because i am neutral at best about them. i won't force any of my ships on you if i can ask the same in return.
asks to threads. if i answer an ask that you want to continue as a thread , go for it !! you're not bothering me & i intend for most of them to be starters anyways. in that same vein , send as many memes as you like !! i may be a little slow at times , but i promise i never mind getting spammed !! & threads can be continued either on here or on discord if you feel so inclined , though if you want to write on discord , just let me know so i can set up a server for it ( i am insanely organized with servers ). hell , i'll even answer memes on discord from time to time.
inbox privileges. i have anon on right now for the sake of anonymous memes & those with sideblogs. if this feature gets abused to be cruel , it will be turned off indefinitely & you will be blocked. you do not get to hide behind a mask to be a bully on the internet. we are all playing barbies in the sandbox , grow up.
critrole sentences starters — 100 quotes from 100 episodes. critrole just posted a list, so here’s about 100 lines of dialogue compiled, edited, and occasionally split into smaller pieces for roleplay purposes. topics and tone shift… wildly. and as usual, alter anything you want to make it fit your muse better. tw: murder, death, self-destructive intent.
❝ welcome to [place]. ❞
❝ is that a natural thing for you guys to just attack each other in moments of stress? ❞
❝ i’ve never travelled with a bunch of people i thought would die in front of me! ❞
❝ yeah. the world does need an asshole. ❞
❝ tell you what. i start sweating real hard, i’ll let you know, okay? ❞
❝ well, my social anxiety is getting the best of me. i’m taking a walk. goodbye. ❞
❝ i think that the bust of a tiny, curly-headed 120-year-old woman needs to slam its way into the torso of that beast. ❞
❝ what do they look like, these buttons? ❞
❝ i don’t normally speak with the dead on a first date, but we’ll think about it. ❞
❝ what if we kill all of them and come back and rob this place? ❞
❝ i’m always ready to make a damn fool of myself. ❞
❝ it’s a collection of crazy tales about this weird fella. ❞
❝ i did my best. every town i went to and every town i left, no matter how they treated me, and a lot of them treated me with deep disrespect… ❞
❝ i left every town better than i found it. ❞
❝ i mean, i don’t want to impose… but i’m bleeding profusely. ❞
@whimscult said :
fingers curl slowly, lacing tentatively with the other's as she tips her head, dipping down so that kanao can tuck herself against the girl's side, into her shoulder that dips. a sweet, gentle smile toys at the edges of her lips, lids hooded as she peers down at their intertwined digits.
❝ kaori-chan… ❞ kanao speaks, voice a dull hum and whisper. a sweetness twinging into pure warmth for her most beloved friend. a childish question on kanao's mind, even as they sit curled together, admiring and adoring the gentle breeze in the early morning sun. ❝ do… you think we're friends in every universe? ❞
it's early , or maybe it's late ; kaori can't really tell & she doesn't really care to make the distinction. regardless , kanao is tucked warmly against her side , a constant & steady presence that she's grateful for. the morning breeze gently blows her hair , making her huff before tucking loose strands behind her ear. maybe she should think about getting a haircut sometime soon , but that's not particularly important right now. what is important to her , however , is the way kanao calls her name quietly , drawing a soft hum in response.
do you think we're friends in every universe ??
there's barely a moment before kaori smiles brighter , bumping her shoulder against kanao's & giving her hand a soft squeeze.
❛ ... that's a silly question , kanao-chan. ❜
she laughs , but it's not to be mean. it's full of fondness , of nothing but the sheer affection she holds for her friend. love & hope are woven into her very being now , it's as if she's bursting at the seams , unable to hold it all inside anymore. briefly , amber hues flicker down to their twined hands , holding them up for kanao to see.
❛ 'course we are. i mean , why wouldn't we be ?? if this version of us can be friends , why not ?? ❜
it's sound logic to her , & kaori tilts her head enough to lean against kanao's.
❛ no matter where we are , i'm sure we'll always be best friends. ❜
@demanimus said : ignore that I'm supposed to be on hiatus right now, but headcanon question. how does kaori cope with stress and problems? does she just blaze through it, bright and bubbly? or does she have coping mechanisms that help her? things she does?
random headcanon questions. / always accepting.
umehara kaori & stress.
the short answer is that she doesn't. like, canonically she just ignores the things that stress her out and cause her emotional turmoil because she doesn't want to acknowledge the consequences of her actions sometimes. particularly when it comes to the consequences of making her magical girl contract, both known and unknown to her. and honestly, that's her biggest downfall. she tries her best to power through it with a smile on her face and act like nothing's bothering her. but it's more like trying to keep a beach ball under water, eventually it'll come back up, and the more you try and hold it down, the more it'll blow up in your face. and i do think that's her inevitable downfall, because for the most part, no one really bothers to dig deeper, to ask her if she's really doing okay like she claims. kaori's gotten so good at hiding when she's struggling that it eats her alive until it explodes in her face, and she becomes a witch in the end.
in her kny verse, i do think it's a little different because she has tengen and his wives who are looking after her, and with four people you constantly spend time with, it's hard to keep many secrets. plus, while she doesn't face the ultimate end of becoming a witch and spreading despair, she does still shoulder a lot of responsibility here, particularly once tengen retires from being a hashira and the knowledge that she's going to take his place in due time. it's stressful, and she'll still try to put on a happy facade, but it's not really feasible to keep up for long and she won't really be able to hide anything for very long.
from the moment they make their contract with kyubey, every magical girl's destiny is to one day become one of the very witches they fight. someday, their hope will turn to despair, and they will cease to exist. each girl has a unique witch, one that is tied to the nature of their despair, and umehara kaori is no different than other magical girls before her.
brunhilde, the opera witch, whose nature is longing. she is the witch form of umehara kaori. her familiars perform endlessly on a stage, performing story after story of love and triumph and friendship and magic, but nothing is enough to soothe their master. she lures in humans who are lacking something in their life, drawn in by her songs and longing. anyone who is drawn into her labyrinth will sit in the audience with her forever, until they are eventually driven mad by her longing. her endless opera represents kaori's endless performance through her life, pretending to be fine, pretending that her despair wasn't weighing her down, that she wasn't suffering. her labyrinth is filled to the brim with plum blossoms, just like the ume in her last name, and because she truly did love those kinds of flowers. kaori also deeply loved the same kid of stories brunhilde's familiars perform for her, as right up until her eventual transformation, kaori truly believed in the power of love and friendship. the stage of her opera is crumbling beneath her, wearing down the same way kaori herself did over time. she lures in unsuspecting but lonely humans who feel as though they don't belong or who yearn for somethig they can't have. brunhilde's kiss puts them into a trance where they believe they are truly watching an opera performance. if left alone, they will slowly but surely succumb to madness through bruhilde's own longing, and they will become her familiars. her labyrinth itself is poorly lit yet grandiose in size, as if it had once been abandoned and left to rot, because all of the available lighting is illuminating the witch's performance onstage.
brunhilde appears as a wind-up doll with a humanoid shape dressed in an over the top costume ballgown. the wind-up key in her back, although it continues to turn, will not stop her if damaged. she is not aggressive or combative unless her performance is interrupted, and her familiars will simply guide people who wander in to their assigned seat in the audience. brunhilde's nature as a witch is remarkably similar to kaori's own, even if the kindness she once held has long since become twisted. she does not believe she is doing anyone any harm, rather, she is looking for a companion in her solitude. when the hole inside her heart is full with companioship, brunhilde's performance will end. though she is not aggressive or combative by nature, she becomes enraged when interrupted for anything, and attacks by calling up bolts of magic.
she has several types of familiars within her labyrinth who fill different roles. tatyana serves as the usher within brunhilde's music hall, guiding all who enter the labyrinth to their assigned seats. she appears as a doll with a red spider lily on her lapel, dressed in proper usher attire. she will not attack so long as whoever she is guiding does not attack her or make too much noise. sarastro is the conductor, who guides the opera on stage. he is oblivious to anyone who enters and will quickly resume his post if the opera is interrupted. he wears a plum blossom on his lapel, but otherwise does not stand out. the familiars in the audience are called horatio, and like the others, they are faceless dolls who sit in the audience, leaving enough room for others to find their seats. they do not attack, as they are incapable of doing anything without the witch's command. utterly mindless, they are a hive mind; whatever brunhilde commands of one of them, she commands of all of them. typically they perform alongside her, dancing mechanically, never quite serving as the companion she's looking for.
deep in her labyrinth, brunhilde waits for her companion. she seems to be seeking someone in particular, though it's clear she has long since forgotten who it is she was waiting for. perhaps they were once among the members of her audience, now forever trapped as a faceless doll, a pawn in her grand performance. when she is defeated, the stage lights go out one by one, sarastro takes his final bow, and horatio gives a standing ovation. brunhilde's mechanical joints seize up, the plum blossoms disappear, and the witch crumbles, leaving behind the single plum blossom from her hair and her grief seed.
@demanimus said : another headcanon question. when kaori has feelings for someone, does she tend to wait / brush it off, or does she feel the need to tell them? if she did tell them, how would she go about doing so? gifts, confession, spending time together?
random headcanon questions. / always accepting.
umehara kaori & love.
truthfully, it depends on the person AND it depends on the universe she's in. while kaori stays the same at her core, different universes come with different circumstances that make her act in slightly different ways.
however, in her main verse, kaori tends to dance around the subject of her feelings most of the time. she doesn't really get the chance to get crushes like most girls her age, she's too busy to really commit that kind of time to people between her studies and her duties as a magical girl. she doesn't really allow herself to get that close to people, or if she does, she tends to deny her feelings to herself until she can't anymore, but by that time, it's really too late for her. that said, when she does come to terms with her feelings, she's somewhat reluctant to make the first move. she tends to wait until they say something to her that seems to indicate how they feel about her, and in that moment, all her feelings come tumbling out. she enjoys spending time with people when she has feelings for them, because getting to be by their side is what's most important to her.
on the rare chance she does decide to make the first move, she's extremely traditional about it. she'll make chocolate for valentine's day and wait for a response by white day, hoping they'll understand her intent. she's the type of girl who'll stay up all night making sure to make their favorite kind of chocolate to show that she pays attention to what they like and dislike to show how she feels. she's bold enough to give it to them face to face and openly state that she'll wait for their response on white day, but honestly she doesn't mind when they get around to telling her, whether or not she gets rejected. on that note, kaori actually handles rejection pretty well to her face. she won't cry about it in front of them, and she'll even go as far as to thank them for their honesty and for telling her at all. kaori herself isn't the kind of person that would be able to keep someone waiting for a response, she'd lose sleep about it, and she can't afford that. she's gentle about it, of course, and she appreciates when the same courtesy is extended to her.
in her demon slayer verse, kaori understands that anyone can die at any moment, that just because someone is important to you or you really care for someone, that doesn't guarantee that they'll be around to wait for you to tell them how you feel. she's much more likely to make the first move here because she's lost so many people that are important to her. though she likely wouldn't say anything outright until after the final battle with muzan, she'll make it known how she feels. she still likes being around the people she has feelings for, spending quality time together is still high on her list of priorities when it comes to showing affection. but she also likes to give them small gifts that show she pays attention to them and what they like and dislike. she's also less reserved with her physical affection, though that goes for her friends as well.
post war, when she's more likely to make the first move, she'll tell them outright. she won't waste time dancing around her feelings anymore, and she won't waste any time on any big gestures or waiting for the perfect moment. life is too short to waste any more time keeping her feelings to herself. letting people know how she really feels is very important to her, because she wouldn't want to die without the people she loves knowing how important they are to her.
The creature wiggles, taking a leap into the air. Its bunny-like legs shoot it upwards, back hatch opening to swallow the grief seed up. As it lands, Kyubey almost sounds like it belches.
It slowly comes to a sit, fluffy tail curling around its legs. The question is not unusual in the slightest. It had heard this inquiry many, many times over the centuries. It was a rather good question.
"Good question, Kaori," It begins, voice projected into her mind with artificial cheeriness. "The grief seeds are broken down by my body, returning to a magic state. It's in this state that magic can return to the universe, and later be focused into a solid form for you magical girls to use."
Of course, it wouldn't admit (not without being asked) the magic was condensed to be used when forming more soul gems from human souls. Despair and hope had to exist in equal amounts to form a proper miracle.
"Why do you ask?" It scratched its ear with a hind leg, before shaking its body out.
❛ hm , i guess that makes sense. i mean , i dunno enough about grief seeds or you to argue otherwise. ❜
kaori shrugs , crossing her arms as she listens. she watches kyubey scratch behind its ear like an animal would , raising an eyebrow. if she hadn't just watched it eat a grief seed , she might think it was just a weird looking cat. it was kinda funny , & after a moment , she smiles , letting her arms fall.
❛ and as for why i asked ... i guess i was just curious. i mean , it's not like i had a whole lotta time to ask you questions when i made my contract. now's as good a time as any to ask. ❜
she's been a magical girl for a while now , after all. she might as well get some of her curiosities settled.
❛ when you say the magic's solidified , you mean like our soul gems , right ?? so you recycle the grief seeds to be able to make'em ?? ❜
someone remind me to write up kaori's kny verse instead of just trying to beam it into ur heads. not rn tho i have a fucking headache and pokopia calls to me...
kaori's voice is calm as she tosses a used-up grief seed its way. the witches these days seem to be ramping up in strength ; at this rate her cache of grief seeds will be gone before she knows. but that's not really why she calls for @shibemuses's attention , no. she has a question for the incubator.
❛ what do you ... actually do with all the grief seeds ?? i mean , i know you take'em so they don't return to being witches , but ... what actually happens to'em ?? ❜
