all the bright places by jennifer niven
self harm mention. Â
âiâm still feeling kind of under the weather.â Â
âletâs talk about you. i want to know how youâre feeling.â
âhave you thought about hurting yourself?â
âitâs okay to laugh, you know. the earthâs not going to split open.â
âplease call me back. iâm worried. iâm sorry. i love you.â
âiâm eating breakfast. the most important meal of the day.â
âhow are you sleeping? any bad dreams?âÂ
âi kept your secret; you keep mine.âÂ
âwhere did you get that scar?â
âafter that, everything went black. i woke up three hours later in the hospital.âÂ
âmy only concern is you.â
âlet it out, all that stuff youâre carrying around.â
âiâm just tired. i think iâll go to bed.â
ânothing that happened is your fault.â
âjust be careful with that heart of yours.â Â
âyou donât need to check up on me.â Â
âwords can be bullies.â
âlisten, iâm the freak. iâm the weirdo. iâm the troublemaker.â
âitâs okay. weâre okay. weâre all okay.âÂ
âi canât promise you iâll stay around, not because i donât want to. itâs hard to explain. iâm a fuckup.â
âi get into these moods sometimes, and i canât shake them.âÂ
âbut youâre better now?â
âiâm sorry youâve had to deal with this in your life.â Â
âfirst of all, kiddo, you are good at many things, not just one.âÂ
âeverything okay with you?âÂ
âthe bad news: surviving this will be the second worst experience of your life. the good news: the worst is already over.â
âbreak something. smash something. throw something. or scream. just get it out of you.â
âbetter to keep the unhappy, mad, bad, unpleasant words separate, where you can watch them and make sure they donât surprise you when youâre not expecting them.â Â
âa perfect day. start to finish. when nothing terrible or sad or ordinary happens. do you think itâs possible?âÂ
âitâs like iâve got this angry little person inside me, and i can feel him trying to get out. heâs running out of room because heâs growing bigger and bigger, and so he starts rising up, into my lungs, chest, throat, and i just push him right back down.âÂ