Patience & Trust: Chapter 23
Bigger-Than-Baby Steps
Author Notes: This is the smuttiest chapter to date. You won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to read it. You won't miss any major plot points. You can even DM me, and I'll give you an overview without any details, so you know where they are in their relationship. I am posting this without editing it again, I just need to post it before I chicken out, so pardon my mistakes.
Pairing: Hunter x Female OC
Word Count: 7575
Warnings: Brief discussion about birth control. Please don't use anything said here as a guide to your birth control choices. That's a personal thing. Very heavy making out and petting. Sexual situations in bed. Nudity. Breast play. Masturbation, female receiving. Oral sex, male receiving. Orgasms. Almost sex. Very imperfect attempt at sex. Some crying and general upset.
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Patience & Trust Masterlist (the sequel)
Hunter and the Librarian Masterlist (the original)
Dividers by animatedglittergraphics-n-more
The next weekend, Wren was ready for Hunter to come to her place again. She made him supper, and they played games. She had some games she'd brought with her from her parents' house, games she'd enjoyed as a kid. So, they played Yahtzee, Rack-o, Sorry, and Aggravation. It was a lot of fun, and she thought Hunter seemed to be enjoying it as well.
After the games, they went to the couch to watch TV. Omega was staying with Hera again, so he could stay as late as he wanted. They were taking their time relaxing and cuddling on the couch.
But Wren had something on her mind. She didn't know if she'd be able to ask him about it though. It was so far outside her comfort zone. But being that close to him for that long was really getting to her. Okay, I'm gonna do it. Just do it!
"Hunterā¦"
He turned his head towards her.
"Uuhhā¦would youā¦ummmā¦want to go to bed for a little while?" Even though this wasn't the first time she'd asked him that, she was much more nervous, because she'd been thinking about going further than they had before. She was still nervous about taking things to the next level, but she knew she'd always be nervous until she finally pushed herself a little bit. And she wasn't pushing herself for his sake, she didn't feel any pressure from him. She was trying to push herself for her own sake, because she wanted it. She wanted to be even closer to him.
His head tilted a fraction as he looked at her questioningly. "Huh?"
"Well, I just wonderedā¦" She couldn't say it again. "Never mind," she mumbled.
"Nooo, Wrenā¦what? I just didn't catch all you said. Was it something about bed?"
She sighed quietly, embarrassed. She couldn't believe she'd started this. "I just wonderedā¦" Another sigh. "Would you want to go to bed for a while?" It was a whisper by the time she was done. His eyebrows raised, and she looked away quickly. "Forget it. It's dumb." She started to stand up.
He reached up and gently took her hand. "Hey. Don't do that. Come back here," he said softly but firmly. He pulled her carefully back to sit next to him. She sat but couldn't look at him. So, he reached over and pushed her chin up a bit with his fingers. "You want to go lay down? Together?"
She whispered again, "Yeah. But it's fine if you don't want to. I don't know what I was thinking." She shook her head.
"Yeah."
Her head popped up quickly and she looked into his eyes. "Really? You want to?"
"Yeah, absolutely! We've done it before. I'd love to. Come on." He stood up, pulling her up with him, since he still held her hand.
He walked to her bedroom, with her trailing behind. When he reached the door, he turned in and dropped her hand. "So, did you have anything specific in mind? Do you just wanna lay down together and snuggle?"
"Yeah, that's a good place to start."
His eyes widened, but she didn't see, as she was getting ready to change from her pants into shorts. "Did you want anything to change into? I think I might have a pair of lounge pants that would fit you."
"No, if you don't mind, I'll just take off my jeans."
She nodded and said, "Yeah, sure, that's fine." She couldn't help but watch as he took off his jeans and draped them over the back of her chair. She was still overcome by how good his legs looked. She took a deep breath as quietly as she could.
While he was turned she quickly changed out of her jeans into the shorts she usually slept in. She pulled the bed covers down and crawled over to her side.
He lay down after her, rolling over to face her. She reached out and took his hand, pulling it back to hold against her chest. "Can you feel my heartbeat?"
"It's pretty fast." He whispered as he leaned towards her, "You need to calm down. Deep breaths, in and out." He led her in slow breathing for a minute. "You doing okay?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah, I think so. Thanks." She leaned forward and kissed him. Her hand came up to his cheek. She deepened the kiss, her tongue tentatively reaching out to touch his lips. He opened his mouth, and she felt his tongue waiting for hers. Then she felt herself getting hotterā¦and wetter.
She didn't have a set plan when she asked him to lie down, but one was quickly taking shape. She wanted to have sex. Tonight. She began kissing his cheek, his jaw, and on towards his ear. Her hand moved around to the back of his head to thread through his curls. He growled, the growl she'd grown to love.
She pulled back. "Hunter. Iā¦" she couldn't finish. He waited. She looked up at him, but quickly looked down again when she saw him looking back.
"Hey. What's going through your mind?" He reached up and ran his fingers through her hair, caressing her cheek now and then.
She took a deep breath, let it out, and said, "I was thinking, maybeā¦" She felt like she was going to pass out. "Maybe we could have sex."
She was whispering again and couldn't make herself look at him. So she didn't see the look of shock on his face. He didn't expect her to say that!
"Sex? Like, actual sex-sex? Intercourse?" He wanted to make sure he understood what she was saying.
"Yeah," she said quietly. Then she looked at him, her face burning. She saw his adorable smile, and it eased her anxiety a little bit. He looked excited.
"You're sure?" He wanted to make sure she was really thinking this through.
"Well, I think I am. I've been thinking about it for a while. And tonight it just feltā¦right. But if you don't want to-"
"No, that's not it!" he said quickly. "I want to. I just want to make sure you do." He lifted her chin again and made her look into his eyes. He tried to gauge how she was feeling. She didn't necessarily look scared, just a little apprehensive. But most people would be their first time.
"I do. I really do," she said as he dropped his hand. She looked back down, sighed again, and said very quietly, "I love you, Hunter. And I want to be with you. Close to you." She felt her throat closing up and tears stinging her eyes.
He was quiet for a few moments, gently rubbing his hand up and down her arm. "Okay, if you're sure."
He kissed her again, this time with more force. He nipped gently at her bottom lip, then leaned her back until she was lying down. He began kissing down her jaw to her neck, and she shivered. He moved his hand very slowly under her shirt, just enough that he could touch her skin. She felt very warm. He began moving her shirt up.
"Is it okay if I take this off?" She nodded. He bent down and kissed her right under her bra. Her quick inhale was shaky. "Is this still okay?" He looked up at her trying to read her expression.
"Yeah, it's more than okay." She honestly felt like she would be devastated if he left tonight without them having sex.
He attempted to pull her shirt over her head, forgetting she still had her glasses on. It got caught. "Oh, hang on," she laughed quietly. He was relieved to hear that, if she could laugh hopefully she wasn't too scared. She reached up and took off her glasses, setting them on her night stand. Then he removed her shirt, tossing it down the bed.
She started scooching his shirt up in the back, her hands trailing across his muscles. He sat up and quickly pulled it over his head, tossing it to the end of the bed also. She looked up at his bare upper body, her hands immediately reaching for the hair trailing down into his underwear. She could see his penis getting harder and larger. She was a little nervous about that, but she still didn't want to stop.
He leaned back down and placed his mouth over one of her nipples through her bra. "Fuck!" she whispered, almost as a hiss. She brought her hand to the back of his head, holding him gently against her.
"Is it okay if I take this off?" he asked while running his finger under her bra band. "Yes," she whispered. She lifted up enough that he could reach under her to unclasp it.
After it was loose, he didn't immediately take it off. He looked into her eyes again and said, "You're sure?"
"Yes," she repeated while nodding, pulling the straps off her shoulders. But then she left the rest for him. He started pulling the bra away from her, almost reverently. When her breasts were free, he stared. Long enough that she started getting nervous. "Hunter? Are they okay?" There was worry in her voice as she looked down at her chest.
"Wren, I told you before, they're fucking beautiful. And somehow, I think they got even more beautiful since then." He said it quietly, but there was something in his voiceā¦was it awe? "They're perfect." His hands moved, but before he made contact he asked, "Can I?"
"Yeah, definitely." She gave him a smile. She was starting to feel a little more comfortable with this idea. The look in his eyes made her feel like she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
He cupped one of her breasts in his hand. His thumb rubbed lightly over her nipple, and she inhaled quickly.
"Can I use my mouth?" He looked into her eyes again as she was looking up at him.
"Yes," she whispered.
He lowered his head to her breast and immediately took her nipple in his mouth. He groaned very quietly, and she felt it vibrate against her breast. She felt a sort of electricity going through her body, beginning right where his mouth was attached to her. She kept massaging the back of his head.
After lavishing attention on one nipple, he moved to the other and did the same. She was practically crawling out of her skin by that point. She tried to discreetly move against him, trying to get friction against the ache between her legs. He must have realized what she was trying to do, because he started slowly and gently moving his hips against hers, his hard bulge right where she needed it.
"Oh, fuck, Hunter. Fuck, fuck, fuck." She chanted it quietly. Her eyes were closed, but when she opened them and looked down at him, still at her chest, she saw he was watching her face. Then his tongue came out, licking slowly around her nipple. She moved her hips against his faster, harder.
He kissed back up her chest, up her neck, to her ear. He licked and sucked her ear lobe, and his breath was hot, causing her to moan. "God, you sound so good. I want to make you scream." He looked into her eyes again, and he thought he might have seen a little surprise. "In a good way! Make you scream in a good way!"
She smiled and laughed. "I knew what you meant. It just caught me off guard."
Then he moved his lips back to hers, kissing her slowly. He searched her mouth, as if he was looking for that spot that would make her call out his name. She opened her legs as wide as she could, allowing his whole, muscular body to fit.
His thrusts were speeding up, but he didn't want to come like that, so he stopped. When he did, she whimpered at the loss of friction. She whined, "Hunterrr," with a pout.
"Sorry, love, but I don't want to finish like that. And I want to get you more ready. Can I take off your shorts?" He looked down at her waistband, putting his fingers inside and snapping the elastic against her belly. She nodded, but he said, "Words, Wren. I need to know for sure I'm not doing something you don't want."
"Sorry, yes, please take them off."
She gave him a mischievous smile, and it actually caught him off guard. He reached down and kissed her again. He couldn't stay away from her lips. He sat up, putting both hands at her hips. His fingers went into her waistband, and he slowly pulled them down. He'd never seen her underwear, and he stopped and stared.
"Hunterā¦hello?"
She was starting to feel self-conscious. But there was no reason to feel that way. He was enamored with what he saw. She looked so beautiful, the pale yellow cotton panties sitting right below her belly button.
"Hunter?!" She said it a little louder the second time. He looked up at her. She was chewing on one of her thumbnails, looking nervous.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"You were staring, and I didn't know if something was wrong."
He reached up and took her thumb away from her mouth. "No, sweetheart. Absolutely nothing is wrong. You're beautiful. I'm just in awe, that's all. I was not expecting to be doing this tonight, so I'm still a little shocked."
"Okay, good." She gave him a sweet smile. "And you're sure you want to do this? If you didn't expect this, maybe you'd rather wait?"
"No!" He said it so suddenly, she startled. "Sorry, darlin'. No, I would not rather wait. Not unless you want to. And you can tell me at any point to stop, you know that, right? Just because we've gone this far, doesn't mean we need to go any further. No matter how far we go, I will always be able to stop, if you want. Okay?" He looked questioningly at her.
"Okay," she nodded as she said it.
"Please don't hesitate if you get scared and need to stop. Please." His sincerity was almost moving her to tears.
"I know, Hunter. I know. I trust you completely." She reached up and felt his chest, running her fingers through the soft hair there. "But for right now, I don't want to stop. Okay?"
"Right, okay."
"In fact, I'd like you to take my underwear off, please. If you want."
He smiled at her and nodded. "Yes, I want. Very much."
After he set her shorts aside, he ran his hands slowly up her long legs. They were smooth and soft. He loved the bit of squishiness he felt when touching her thighs. When he got to the waistband of her underwear, he took hold, slowly beginning to pull them down. They were below her hip bones when he stopped and looked up at her face. It looked like she was holding her breath. She nodded at him, and he pulled them down to her mid-thighs. Then he stopped, his eyes staying on her legs. When he looked up to her face again, he quietly asked, "This is okay?"
"Yeah, it's more than okay."
So, he pulled them the rest of the way off her legs, and over her feet. He tossed them on the floor. He leaned over and kissed her thighs, moving up to her hip, and then kissed up her belly. "God, you are beautiful. Look at you." And he did. Look. He looked from her face down to her feet. And back again. He reached out and caressed her legs, her belly, her breasts, her face.
She reached up and put her fingers at the waistband of his boxer briefs. She ran her fingers around his waist, raising her eyebrows at him. He nodded and said, "Yes, please."
She pulled down slowly. When his cock sprang free, she literally gasped. It was quiet, but it was a gasp. His penis looked so big. Even though it was probably average size, she didn't see how it was going to fit. She'd had her fingers inside herself many times. But that didn't even compare to the size of him. Not even two of her fingers.
He lifted one leg up awkwardly to allow them to be taken off his leg, and then did the same with the other leg. She tossed them near where he'd thrown hers. She reached for him, but stopped right before touching.
"Can I?" she asked.
"Hell yeah," he said with a smile. But that smile faltered when she put her hand around his cock. He expected a light touch, not a full grip. He hissed and said, "Fuck." He dropped forward with his hands on the bed, one on either side of her.
She pulled her hand away quickly. "I'm sorry!"
He shook his head, "No, it's a good thing. I just wasn't ready. That's all. I definitely want you to do that again. But right now, I'd like to get you ready." He moved his hand to her thighs, travelling towards the point where they met. He paused, "Can I use my fingers? Outside and inside? I want to try to open you up a bit, so it will be easier for you."
She nodded, then remembering, said quickly, "Yes. Yes, I'd love that."
He gently pushed her legs apart and began slowly walking his fingers up her inner thigh. "I'm going to touch you now." After he saw her slight nod, he began stroking her very lightly. She closed her eyes, moving her hips the tiniest bit. After a couple of minutes, he slowly circled her entrance with his finger, coating it with the wetness that was there. "Are you ready? I'm going to take it very slowly. Please, let me know if it hurts at all, okay? I don't want you to hide that, thinking I'll be upset. I won't. But I will be upset if I find out later you were in pain and didn't tell me. Okay?"
She nodded, then said, "Yes, I understand."
He nodded, then slowly pushed inside, keeping his eyes on her face, looking for any discomfort. He moved little bit by little bit. She closed her eyes again, and he stopped. "Does that hurt?"
She shook her head, then opened her eyes and said, "No, it doesn't hurt. It feels really good. Please, keep going."
He nodded and smiled at her. "My pleasure, sweetheart." Then he pushed further inside, moving his finger around a bit as he went. Trying to slowly make more room. She was tight, that was for sure. He really didn't want to hurt her. She closed her eyes again, and started breathing heavier. She made little whimpering and moaning sounds now and then as he continued working his finger around inside of her. When he curled his finger, he hit a very sensitive spot, and her head came up off the pillow. "Oh, fuck!" She grabbed the sheet tightly with her hands. "Fuck, Hunter. Fuck!"
"Did that feel good?" He smiled at her, almost deviously. "Really good?"
"Oh my god, yes." She laid her head back on the pillow but kept the sheets tightly in her fists. She was beginning to move against his hand more.
"Do you think you can handle another finger?" he asked.
She opened her eyes and said, "Yeah, I think so. I wanna try anyway." She smiled when she saw the smile that broke out across his face.
"Okay, here goes." He brought another finger to her entrance, slowly pushing inside until it joined the other as far as it would go. He began gently moving both of them at the same time, in a scissor motion. He was trying to open her up more, because he was concerned with how much pain he might cause her. He wasn't a big guy, probably average, but she was so tight.
"Oh god, that feels so good." She held her arms up to him, letting him know she wanted him to lean down. When he did, she put her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to hers. She kissed him desperately, as if she wanted to crawl inside him. She felt pretty full with just two of his fingers. But his fingers were a lot thicker than hers. So, she tried not to worry about what would come later. It's what she wanted. And she trusted him.
She knew she would probably come before much longer. She was getting closer and closer. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," she repeated again.
He had to smile at what she was saying. He brought his mouth to her nipple again and sucked. Hard.
The sounds he made were obscene, and she was lost in them. She could feel the pressure building deep inside, and she knew she was close. She whispered, "I'm so closeā¦Hunter. I'm almostā¦there." She wanted him to know in case he was getting tired. Although she doubted he was, because it hadn't been very long. Or she didn't think it had been. It could have been five minutes, an hour, or a day, and she wouldn't know. She was lost to the sensations that were coursing through her.
She couldn't believe this was happening and was trying to store away every little moment. And then her orgasm hit her like a ton of bricks, and she felt like she was going to pass out. She couldn't see, so she just closed her eyes. He leaned down so he could put his nose in her neck, and then whispered close to her ear, his breath hot, "That's it, sweetheart. Take all you want."
He kept moving his fingers as her orgasm subsided. She didn't know how long that lasted, but she definitely knew it was longer than any she'd had by herself. "Fuck, that was amazing," she whispered. Her throat was sore from her heavy breathing, moans, and whimpers.
She watched as he pulled his fingers out of her and lifted them to his mouth. He kept eye contact as he licked his fingers clean. She bit her lower lip watching him. She thought she might orgasm again just by watching that. She held her arms up to him again, and he brought his body down on top of hers, his nose and mouth going to her neck again. He inhaled and licked, tasting her salty sweat. She giggled at the tickle.
He pulled his face back to look at her. He kissed her, saying against her lips, "I love you."
"I love you too." She kissed him again.
But then he realized they hadn't discussed a couple of important things, because she'd caught him off guard this evening. He moved so he was lying down beside her. "Wren, I don't have any condoms. I didn't expect this to happen."
"That's okay, I'm on the pill. That's enough for me. Unless it's not for you, which is fine if so. We can wait."
"It's been over a year since I was with anyone else, and I've been tested since then, so I'm clean."
"Well, as you know, I haven't done anything, so I have to assume I'm clean. And I trust the pill, so if you do, we're good to go."
He looked at her, making sure she was being honest. It looked like she was sincere. He kissed her again. "Okay, that's settled. Butā¦the other thing is lube. I would have brought lube, since it's your first time. Are you sure you want to try without?"
"I'd like to try, yeah. Maybe it will be fine? It's too late for me to want to go out to get some, and I'm not sure what would even be open that would sell that, so I say we try without."
He looked into her eyes again, making sure he didn't see fear, and said, "Okay, we'll try and see how it goes. Just let me know if it's too much, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. I will."
He lay there for a couple of minutes, slowly running his fingers up and down her hand and forearm. Over to her belly. She tried not to think about how soft it was, how it wasn't flat. Finally, he quietly asked, "Would you like to be on top?"
"What?" she asked, looking at him with wide eyes.
"Would you like to be on top for this first time? It might be more comfortable for you. You can set the pace, the depthā¦" She covered her face with her hand taking a deep breath. "Wren? Are you sure you want to do this? If you don't, that's okay, I promise."
She could hear the sincerity in his voice. "No, I really do. I just hadn't thought about being on top."
"Well, you don't have to, I just thought it might be better for you at first." He stroked her hair softly, running his fingers over her cheek and down her neck.
"That actually sounds like a good idea. I'm just going to be a little more embarrassed, I think. Just let me turn the hall light off, so it's not shining in here."
She got up to do that. He watched her walk away, admiring her ass as she went. She felt his eyes on her and turned to look, feeling her face heat up as she saw him watching her. She turned off the hall light, which made the room darker.
"Is that okay? I didn't want so much light, not for this first time."
"That's fine, sweetheart. Whatever you're most comfortable with." The street lights were shining in the window, so he could at least see her a little bit. He was lying on his back at that point, and he held his arms up to her.
She crawled over to him, leaning down to kiss him again. A good long kiss. Their hands and lips explored slowly. Finally she said, "Okay, I'm ready. Or as ready as I'll ever be."
He patted his belly with his hands and said, "Here, sit here." She awkwardly lifted one leg over his waist, and gently sat down on him. "You can put more weight on me than that, because you will need to relax. If you're tensed up from trying to hold yourself up, then it might not go as well. So, come on down."
So, she did. She put her full weight on his torso. He could feel her wetness on his stomach. She was so warm. He was trying to breathe normally, he didn't want to scare her, but being this close to fucking her, and yet not fucking her, was becoming a bit of a strain. But he was not going to rush her. It's just he'd been waiting for so longā¦ Breathe, Hunter, breathe.
She shifted down and began rubbing herself along the length of him. He inhaled sharply and closed his eyes. His hands went to her waist, trying to keep her from moving too much. It was good for his cock to be coated with her wetness, hopefully that would help with the no lube situation, but he didn't want to come yet.
"Okay, are you ready?" he asked, his voice a bit rougher than normal.
"Yeah, ready."
"Okay, lift up a little bit." He helped her raise up, and position herself over the head of his cock. "Good, now brace your hands on my chest." She did that. He looked up at her, and she nodded at him.
"Here we go." He let go and she started to lower herself. But he was barely in at all, just the very tip, when she stopped. She hissed as if it hurt. "Wren, is it hurting?" The concern was thick in his voice.
"Noooā¦it's just a lot, that's all. I'm still okay for now."
He quietly said, "Easyā¦easyā¦breathe, sweetheart, breathe." He held onto her hip with one hand, trying to keep her from going any further down, but his other hand started caressing her thigh, her other hip, her side, her breast. Just trying to distract her from what was happening.
She moved herself just enough to get a slightly different angle, and he entered her a tiny bit more. But then the pain started. Not just a little sting, but pain. She felt like he wasn't going to go any further without hurting a lot. And she started to panic. She stopped, closing her eyes. She felt tears starting to form, but she didn't want him to see. Even though there was pain, they weren't tears because of that, they were tears of frustration and emotion.
"Wren, talk to me. Are you okay? Do you need to stop?" He moved her hair out of her face.
"Just for a second. I just need to wait for a second." And with that she moved herself off him and lay down beside him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. And then she was crying.
"Hey, hey, Wren. Wren? Look at me." So she looked up, and he saw the tears running down her cheeks. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. We'll stop. We need lube, that's all it is. I should have known better than to try. Shhh, it's okay."
"I wanted to do this so bad. But I got scared."
"I know, shhh, it's okay. We'll just try another time. It's fine."
"But that was such a tease! Your tip was...inside, and then I stopped! Who does that?! I'm sorry!"
"No, don't apologize! You have nothing to apologize for." He pulled her head to his chest. "This is normal, sweetheart, nothing to be bothered by."
She lay there for a few more minutes, sniffling, soaking up his warmth, and feeling his callused hands smoothing over her back and sides. "Hunterā¦"
"Yeah?"
"I want to try again. Is that okay?" She sounded worried, but determined.
"You don't have to, we can wait until we have lube."
"But I don't want to wait. I want to have sex with you. Tonight." Her voice broke.
He looked at her and sighed. He held her face in his hand, running his thumb along her cheek. "Okay, if you're determined, we'll try again." He lightly smacked her ass. "Mount up, sweetheart!"
She laughed quietly, and sat up, situating herself on top of him again. He held onto her hips, holding her up. He was still rock hard, so she took him in her hand, holding him in place as she positioned herself over him. He started to lower her again. She heard him inhale sharply from the stimulation. His hands were gripping her hips tightly. She had to imagine she would have bruises, but she didn't mind. She thought she might even like that. Evidence after-the-fact that she actually did this.
But then she felt the sting. The stretch. The pain. And the panic. What the fuck! What is wrong with me. Millions of people do this every fucking day! Every minute of every day. What is wrong with me!
She'd seen porn, she'd seen penises bigger than his, and women seemed to be fine with them. What is wrong with her. She's a full-grown woman. Was something wrong inside of her? Maybe her vagina was too small for sex. Maybe she'd never be able to do this. She would never be able to be with the man she loved. She couldn't ask Hunter to stay with her if she couldn't have sex with him. She was spiraling.
And the tears were falling again.
"Wrenā¦Wrenā¦Wren!" The last time was louder and more forceful. It broke her out of her spiral. She looked at him, and he saw the look of devastation on her face. "Wren, love. It's okay."
"No, it's not. I can't do this. I want to do this, but I can't." And then the sobs.
"Hey, hey, come on." He lifted her up and over so she was on her back next to him. "Wrenā¦" He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, feeling her tears. "You're fine. You're gonna be fine. I shouldn't have tried this without lube. That's on me. Please, don't worry. It will be totally different once we can use that. Believe me, it will be fine. Come on, sweetheart, don't cry. Please."
"But what if it doesn't help. What if I just can't do this. I want to so bad, Hunter. I want to be with you." More sobs.
"Shhhā¦shhh," he stroked her hair, holding her face to his neck. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You're fine. You're fine. Trust me. You trust me, right?" He pulled her head back a little.
She looked at him and nodded. "Yes, I do."
"Okay, then trust me when I say it will be okay. We'll get lube, we'll try again, when you're feeling up to it. And we'll just take baby steps. It will happen in time. But we're not going to rush anything. I don't want you in pain, and I don't want you scared. Okay? So let's just lay here for a while, and think about how much we love each other. How about that?"
She sniffled as she nodded.
"Okay, good." He kissed the top of her head. "You're good. We are good."
It was quiet for a minute. She was lightly running her fingers up and down his thigh and abs. "But what ifā¦" she couldn't let that thought go. She didn't see him close his eyes and take a moment to figure out what he wanted to say.
"What if what? What if we're never able to have penis-in-vagina sex? If there is something that will keep us from that forever? I honestly can't imagine there will be. BUTā¦if you want to think of the worst case scenario, as I know you like to doā¦" He tickled her as he said that, and she couldn't help but laugh, trying to wriggle away from his fingers. "Even in the worst case scenario, there are plenty of other things we can do. Plenty. There are couples who don't have this type of sex, ya know. People of different orientations, with different parts, different feelings, different wants and desires, and they can still be loving couples and be physically satisfied. It is possible. So even IF for some reason, your body is not set up for this, we'll be fine. I promise. Because I love you. And you love meā¦or so you saidā¦"
"Of course I do." She looked up at him, so he could see the sincerity in her face.
"And would you love me less if there was something about my body that kept us from having that type of sex?"
"No, of course not!" She moved her hand up to his chest, and lifted herself up a bit so she could look down into his eyes. "Nothing could make me love you any less. Nothing. You have to know that."
"Yeah, I do. And you have to know I feel the same about you. Yeah?" He moved her hair out of her face, and she laid her head on his chest.
"Yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm just disappointed, that's all. I really wanted to do this tonight."
She had a small pout on her lips, and he wondered if she realized how adorable she looked. "When did you start planning this?" He was genuinely curious how long she'd been planning.
"Oh, I didn't plan. It just happened after you got here tonight, and we were on the couch. And I just kept thinking of my bed back here, just 25 feet away from us, and I started getting hornier and hornier." She laughed at herself.
"Oh, well, listen to you, little miss vulgar. Do I make you horny, baby?" He used a ridiculous accent, and she couldn't help but burst out laughing. He joined in as he squeezed her tighter.
After she stopped laughing, she said, "Yeah, you do. I couldn't get it out of my mind once the thought planted itself."
"Well, we'll have plenty of other times. I'll get some lube, and I'll leave it here for whenever we want to try again. But no hurry, don't rush yourself." He kissed her head again.
She turned her head and kissed his chest, his soft hair tickling her face. "Do you wanna stay here for a little bit longer? Just hanging out. Oooorrā¦."
She moved her hand to his still very erect penis, softly running her fingers down the length and back up again. She heard his sharp intake of breath. She looked up at him, and he was looking at her.
"Watcha doin'?" Then he cleared his throat after realizing how rough he sounded.
"Wellā¦I can't do the other right now, but my mouth is working fine." She kissed his chest as if trying to prove her point. Then she shifted up a bit and took his nipple in her mouth.
He hissed again, bending his knees up so he could plant his feet and arch into her. "Fuck, Wren."
Then she started moving her mouth down his body, trailing kisses as she went. When she looked back up at him, his eyes were closed, his hand over them. His other hand was trailing up and down her spine and into her hair.
She paused and waited for him to look at her. When he realized she'd stopped, he looked at her with his eyebrows raised. She raised hers at him and motioned to his penis with her head. "You don't have to do that, sweetheart. I'll be fine. It'll go away in a little bit."
"And what if I want to do it?" She stuck her tongue out and licked his stomach where some pre-cum had landed.
"Oh god, that was fucking hot." He took a deep breath. "If you want to, I'm not going to stop you. But you really don't have to. I'll be fine if you don't."
"But you'll enjoy it if I do?" She wanted to make sure she wasn't pushing something on him he didn't really want.
"I'm sure I'll enjoy it if you do. I will definitely enjoy it."
She had never given him a blow job. Well, she'd never given anyone a blow job. But she'd watched porn, so she knew the basics. And she wasn't doing this just because she felt like she was a tease with the other stuff. She was doing this, because she loved him and wanted to do something special for him. She'd been nervous about it prior to this and wasn't sure how to bring it up. But since they were putting it all out there tonight, she thought this was as good of time as any to offer.
She turned her head and slowly ran her tongue down the length of his penis, then back up again. His hand tightened in her hair, but he made a concerted effort to not pull or push her head further down either one. As she reached the tip again, she took it in her mouth, swirling her tongue against the most sensitive spots.
"Oh god. That is so good! Fuck!" His breath started coming faster, and his other hand was fisting the sheet. He was trying to keep his body still, and not fuck her face, but he'd gotten so worked up with their attempts at sex that he was having trouble reigning it in. He knew he wouldn't last long at this rate.
He couldn't believe this was her first time. God, she was really good. And not everyone is, he knew that. He'd only been with two other women. He wasn't going to ask the first woman he dated to do it, because it's not something he necessarily wanted from just anyone. But the other one offered, and he said okay. But she wasn't good at it, so he told her the next time she offered that she didn't have to. Hopefully she didn't know why, because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. But Wren was really good.
He looked down at her and moved her hair out of her face so he could see her. Fuck me, that is a sight. She was so good with her tongue especially. The way she moved it made him about lose his mind. He was close. So close. One hand was holding his dick, and the other his balls. When she swallowed and squeezed him with her mouth, he knew it was game over.
He tapped her on the shoulder to let her know he was going to come so she could pull off. But she didn't.
"Wren, I'm gonna come. Quick. You need to pull off." But she just shook her head while looking at him and kept going. "I'm serious, I can't last any longer." He could see her try to smile around the cock in her mouth, and she again shook her head. Fuck, okay, he wasn't going to argue with her about it. He couldn't wait any longer. He groaned as his orgasm hit him hard, and he emptied into her mouth.
His eyes were closed, head thrown back, hand tight in her hair, other hand holding onto the sheet for dear life. She looked at him as she felt his cum spurting into her mouth. She didn't swallow though. She didn't think she could do that yet. If ever. She didn't hate the taste as much as she thought she might, but she didn't really like it. And the warmth of it felt strange.
Once he was done, she pulled her mouth away and reached for a Kleenex on her bedside table. She quietly spit all she could into the tissue and tossed it in the trash can. His eyes were still closed. She reached for the water bottle she kept by her bed and took a few drinks, swishing out her mouth. She did that more for his sake than hers. She didn't know if he'd want to kiss her and taste his own cum.
After putting the water bottle back, she laid down next to him, resting her head on his chest. She put her hand on his belly, playing with the hair there, waiting for his breathing to go back to normal.
As it slowed down, he brought his hand to the back of her head. He started stroking her hair. And her arm. And her back. She looked up at him, and he was looking back. She reached up and kissed him sweetly. "Hi."
He smiled and said, "Hi. You feeling okay?" He ran his fingers up and down her arm.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm still a little disappointed in myself that I got too freaked out to actually have sex, but other than that, I'm fine."
He leaned his head down to kiss the top of her head. "You'll be able to at some point. There's no hurry."
"Well, we've known each other for more than six months, Hunter. I don't think that's a hurry." She laughed quietly.
"Wellā¦things have always moved a little slower for us, and that's perfectly fine. It's just how our relationship is."
"Yeah, because of me. Because I'm such a baby about stuff." She was starting to sound a little harsh.
"Hey, you. Don't be hard on yourself, okay? I won't allow it." He gave her a hug. "No one is mean to you in my presence, not even you!" He chuckled. "We don't have to be like anyone else. We can take things at our own speed."
"Do you want to have sex with me?" She sounded small when she asked that.
"Yeah, of course! Wasn't that obvious tonight? I definitely want to have sex with you. But not to the point where I'm going to let you be in pain or pressure yourself. I can wait. It will make it even better when we actually do it. Which I'm still convinced we will, no matter what your brain tells you." He tapped her head with his finger.
She squeezed him in a tight hug. "Thank you so much, Hunter. You are so patient with me. I wear myself out, I don't see how you can stand it sometimes."
"Hey, I'm in love. That's all that matters. I love you, everything about you, whether you think it's good or bad, I love it. Because it's you. So you have to stop beating yourself up about this, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." Then she dropped her eyes down to his penis, which she hadn't really focused on since they finished. It was soft and she couldn't stop herself from touching it. She looked up at him as she lightly caressed it.
He raised his eyebrows at her. "Watcha' doin' there?"
She saw the tiniest bit of a smirk. "Just touching it. I'm surprised how much I like it. I really thought I'd be more scared of penises. And maybe I would be of others, but not yours. It's friendly." She chuckled and hid her face in his chest, moving her hand back up to his belly.
"Well, he definitely likes you. And is looking forward to getting to know you better. In due time." His low laugh rumbled through her ear. And before long, they were both asleep.
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That was so good ! And so safe ! Hunter is the perfect partner ! <3
This is hot and precious, they deserves to take their time and to have a good time together, they're adorable <3<3<3
