Itโs a beautiful morning, yet the tension between you and Alicent Hightower crackles like a summer storm. You can feel her eyes boring into you from across the room, but youโve become quite accustomed to her watchful glares. If anything, you thrive on them.
You smile sweetly, dipping your head toward Aegon as he lounges on the Iron Throne, looking far more relaxed than any king should. Heโs watching you with that same eager gleam in his eyes, waiting for whatever praise youโll offer him next. Itโs become a game for you at this pointโhow much can you say before he completely melts? And itโs easier than it should be.
"My king," you say softly, stepping closer, your golden Lannister curls bouncing as you move. "You look especially regal today. Like Aegon the Conqueror himself reborn. Do you know what I see when I look at you?"
Aegon straightens slightly, his eyes widening with interest. "What?" His tone is eager, as though whatever you say might be the single most important revelation of his life.
"I see a man destined for greatness. Aegon, you are so strong, so powerful, andโ" you let your voice drop into a breathy whisper, "so very wise." You emphasize each word, drawing out your compliments in a way that sends a flush of pride creeping up his neck.
Aegon shifts in his seat, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "Do you really think so, Y/N?" he asks, his voice almost boyish, seeking that reassurance from you.
"Of course I do, darling. And I would never lie to you." You reach out, letting your fingers brush against his hand in a gentle, lingering touch, just enough to make his breath hitch. "Unlike others who may have their own agendasโฆ" You throw a quick glance toward where Alicent stands, her expression tight, lips pressed thin. The corner of your mouth twitches into a hidden smirk.
Aegon doesnโt notice. Heโs too busy basking in the attention you're lavishing on him. "Mother just worries," he mumbles, though even he seems half-hearted about it.
"Worries?" You tilt your head, feigning innocence. "I think she underestimates you, my love. Youโve already proven yourself to be a far better ruler than anyone could have imagined. I canโt imagine why she continues to hover over you like youโre still a boy."
You know exactly why. Alicent cannot stand the idea of you influencing her son. It grates on her to see Aegon so smitten, so easily swayed by your honeyed words. But thatโs precisely what youโre counting on.
Aegon chuckles, clearly amused. "She just doesnโt understand, does she?"
"She doesnโt," you agree, leaning in closer so your voice is only for him. "But I do." You place your hand on his chest, right over his heart. "I see you for the man you are, Aegon. A man who doesnโt need his mother whispering in his ear, telling him what to do. Youโre king now. You should be able to make your own decisions. Isnโt that what you want?"
Aegonโs eyes flicker with somethingโdesire, admiration, a need for validation. "Yes," he says, his voice firm, though you know itโs more out of wanting to please you than actual conviction. "That is what I want."
You smile, letting your fingers trail lightly down his chest before stepping back, your eyes sparkling with the satisfaction of a job well done. "Then take whatโs yours, my king. Trust yourself. Trust me." You cast another glance toward Alicent, who looks like sheโs about to bite through her tongue.
Sheโs always there, lurking like a shadow, trying to pull Aegon back into her grasp. But he slips through her fingers every time youโre around. Alicent has power, but you? You have Aegon. And he doesnโt even realize it.
You turn to face the queen mother, giving her a radiant smile that doesnโt reach your eyes. "Your Grace, you must be so proud of Aegon," you say, your voice saccharine sweet, as though youโre not fully aware of the tension between you. "Heโs grown into such a strong man under your care."
Alicent stiffens, her lips twitching in a forced smile. "He has always been capable," she says, her tone clipped. "Though I think he still benefits from wise counsel."
You tilt your head, pretending to consider her words, though you already know exactly how to respond. "Of course," you agree, "but I think heโs ready to make his own choices now. Donโt you?" You let the question hang in the air, a gentle reminder that Aegon is your king now, not hers.
Alicent opens her mouth to reply, but Aegon cuts in before she can get a word out. "Mother, Y/Nโs right. I donโt need to be told what to do all the time." He laughs, clearly proud of himself for standing up to her, oblivious to the fact that heโs only echoing your words.
You beam at him, eyes sparkling. "Exactly, my love. You are your own man. And no one, not even your mother, can take that from you."
Alicentโs gaze narrows, and for a moment, you think she might say something sharp, but she bites her tongue. You know itโs eating her alive inside, watching Aegon slip further under your influence, but she canโt do anything about it. Not without making herself look overbearing in front of her son.
"Come, Aegon," you say lightly, turning back to him. "Letโs take a walk in the gardens. You could use some fresh air after sitting on that throne for so long."
Aegon rises eagerly, flashing you that boyish grin that only makes him seem more malleable. "Yes, letโs."
As you link your arm through his and lead him out of the hall, you donโt bother to look back at Alicent. You can already feel the weight of her stare burning into your back. You have Aegon wrapped around your finger, and she knows it.
But as long as you continue to feed his need for affection, for someone to praise him and treat him like the king he so desperately wants to believe he is, he will never stray far from your side. And Alicent can do nothing but watch.
โพ๏ธ Summary - Jacaerys and reader go to battle in the Gullet. But when reader finds Jace, barely hanging onto the threads of life, she feels the looming dread that even the strongest can suffer and fall the hardest.
โพ๏ธ Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen!fem!reader
โพ๏ธ Authors notes - ahhh!! This is my first ever fic ๐ญ I'm scared but so excited bc I really like this one! Hopefully more to come, please be kind :) Reblogs and comments are appreciated! Maybe a part 2???
โพ๏ธ Word count - 3,023
โพ๏ธ Warnings - Targaryen!fem!reader, reader has white hair, reader rides vermithor, no specified relation to Jacaerys, Jace and reader are betrothed, injures, blood, ANGST, hurt/comfort, Jace does NOT die in this, slight fluff at the end, reader panicking almost the entire time ๐ญ, guilt (reader), self blame (reader), I...think that's it.
Translations: Nuhys qฤlos - My star. รuha jorฤelฤ - My love. I'm too lazy to do the other ones ๐ญ
I'm not sure how long we've been out here. Time is but an illusion. Maybe it's been days. It feels Like it must have been. I feel like I'm looking through a warped glass window. Everything is blurry and it makes me dizzy, yet I can't look away. No matter how much I want to.
Smoke fills the air, obscuring my view and burning my eyes as the wind rushes through my ears. My hands tighten around the reins. Vermithor rumbles loudly. He senses my growing unease as I whip my head around. My gaze searches for Jace and Baela among the smoke. I swallow thickly as I rest a calming hand against his bronze scales.
"Lykirฤซ, Vermithor." I say loud enough for him to hear. He grumbles lowly. "We'll find them soon. We just got split up." My voice trails off towards the end of my words.
The fumes make my throat tighten. A prickly sensation skitters up my spine. I yelp, yanking the reins to the side as one of the giant bolt arrows slices through the air toward Vermithor's side. He shrieks as he dives higher in the sky, narrowly missing the arrow. I'm thrown back into my seat as I grasp the saddle to stay upright.
"Rศณbฤs!"
More bolt arrows fly towards us. He flies towards the danger, turning left and right swiftly as shouts and screams become clearer the closer we get. I hold back a shriek when he slams his body through a ship, destroying the wood as it slices my cheek open. I feel warmth start to trickle down my skin. The cut stings.
Panic holds my chest in a vice, squeezing until I can't breathe as I look back at the damage. He breathes fire across more ships, more enemies. I can't hear anything except the blood rushing in my ears.
"Dohaerฤs! We have to findโ"
A shriek fills the air, making a harsh wave of fear cover me like a cloak. I know that sound, that's Vermax, sweet, gentle, Vermax. He's in pain, such a great deal of pain that it makes tears prick my eyes. I yank the reins to turn my dragon around as we fly toward the sound.
Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.
I feel bile rise in my throat. My trembling hand finds its way to my stomach, as if that action alone can keep me from losing my composure.
"Jace?" I shout. Fuck. I feel like I'm going to be sick when my eyes catch a head of brown curls.
Sinking in the water. The bolt arrows are lodged in his scales, his wails go quieter and more hoarse as his limbs grow more sluggish.
"Go, go now, Vermithor!" I urge him on as the wind slaps me in the face. He sails downward towards them, but it's too slow. Too fucking slow. Vermithor dodges the arrows as we get closer. Closer.
"I'm here, I'm here! I'mโ"
When you love someone, you would be willing to die for them. Kill for them. With no regard for anything other than knowing that they are safe. I have never known the feeling of a loved one's blood on my skin. The thought makes my skin feel uncomfortably tight. So when that first arrow pierced his skin, I could do nothing but watch. I wanted to scream. I wanted to lay waste to those who hurt him because he doesn't deserve it. He deserves to be at home, safe and warm with his family until he grows old. He doesn't fucking deserve it. Not... not here.
"Jace!" I'm not sure if that was the scream I let out or not. I can't tell.
Calm down. Fucking focus! Get him. Go get him.
Then the second arrow hits.
Then the third.
I cry out. It feels like someone ripped out my lungs and shredded them apart then stuck them back in and expected me to breathe easily.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
The ancient beast slams into the water. The salty water sprays my face, the contact freezing against my skin. I unclasp the hooks on my saddle as I slide down his scales. I don't care about safety. All I can think about is him. I reach out, my fingers extending farther as I grab at his vest. My hand slips. Vermithor growls lowly, catching my attention. I have to hurry, or we'll both be dead.
I try not to cry. The tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I choke on the sobs that threaten to fall past my lips.
I give a determined shout as I grab him by the shoulders, yanking him up with all my strength. I feel like my arms are tearing as I clench my jaw. I hold him closely once I manage to get him up. I pant harshly as I rest my cheek against his soaked curls. I squeeze my eyes shut. My body is shaking so violently that I feel my teeth chatter. My stomach rolls at the sight of him. I gag at the scent of his blood. Vermithor assists in helping both of us back into the saddle, sinking himself lower into the ocean.
"Sลvฤs." I let out. My voice is hoarse.
Vermithor launches off the water. The force makes a wave that crashes over a few ships around us. I hold onto Jace tightly to keep him from falling before I'm jerked to the side. The ancient beast lets out a pain-filled wail as the bolt arrow sticks out of his side.
"No, no! Sลvฤs! Veฬzot Soฬves!" My voice cracks. He tries to obey, flapping his wings as he travels higher. A flash of shadow zips right past us, ripping the rope from the arrow. Baela looks back. A mixture of panic and despair paints her warm features when her eyes land on Jacaerys.
"We have to go back to Dragonstone!" I shout over the wind. She nods, leading the way on Moondancer. I look back down. Brown eyes meet mine as I swallow harshly. They're half-lidded, tracing over my face like he's committing it to memory.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
"You're okay now." I grit out, my hands tightening around his shoulders. "I'm here now. You're safe."
I brush back his wet hair that is sticking to his forehead with shaking fingers.
I'll keep him safe. I think. I'll shield him from the pain and sorrow that comes with war. I will take every arrow, every sword blow, even if I die by dragon fire. I would for him, because he isn't just a prince or the heir to the throne. He's Jace. Kind and gentle and good. I feel tears slip down my cheeks, creating a pathway through the dirt and blood.
Because I love him.
I feel the pad of his fingers brush against the tears staining my cheeks. The color is draining from his face, growing paler. The sight makes me nauseous.
"Don't cry, รuha jorฤelฤ," he whispers, his tone weak and breathy. His chest is rising and falling too quickly. His breathing is shallow. I shake my head repeatedly.
"Don't speak. Save your strength." I stammer. I ignore the blood that's soaking through his vest. I ignore the way his skin is too cold against mine. It may be selfish of me. It is.
"You're bleeding."
"I'm okay. Hey, hey, hey. Don't close your eyes, okay? Just look at me." I guide his head toward mine. I press my forehead against his as I run a soothing hand through his damp curls. I press a trembling kiss to the side of his head. He murmurs my name. I pull back to meet his eyes.
I expect to see pain, anger, anything. But all I see is love. He's looking at me like I hung the moon and stars just for him, and I can't handle it. I feel sick. I feel like it's my fault.
"Don't... don't blame yourself." My eyes flick back up to meet his. Dragonstone is just coming into view.
"Don't say that like you're dying. You're not." I say forcefully. My hands are trembling as I press a hand to one of his wounds. He grunts roughly. I whisper soft apologies into his hair as I hold him close.
"Please don't take him." I whisper. I don't know who I'm speaking to. The gods, the ocean, the fucking sky. "We have already lost too much. Don't take him too. He doesn't deserve it."
I plead and plead until my voice grows hoarse and my words get stolen in the wind. I beg the gods, or whoever is listening, to not take him from me because it wouldn't be fair. Because he's still young, and he deserves to see a realm that is peaceful and safe. I beg until the tears have crusted on my cheeks and my heart has been stomped on. I beg until his heart grows more faint and slow. I beg once we land in Dragonstone and the maesters pry him from my arms.
I even began to pray to the old and new gods like a child, pleading with them, cursing them, making deals, anything.
I feel like I brought a corpse to his mother's feet.
The dragonkeepers lead away Vermithor to tend to his wounds.
I sit there for what feels like hours. My back is against a stone wall. I sit there waiting across the hall. My knees are up to my chest, my riding leathers still slightly damp. My head starts to lean forward, my eyes fluttering closed before I snap them open.
I can't sleep until I know he's alive.
The maesters tried to clean my wounds, but I refused each time. After the sixth attempt, I caved. Rhaenyra told me she would stay with Jacaerys. She urged me to go eat, or at least take a bath. I said nothing. Baela understood, in a way. She sat with me for the first hour, but then she jokingly remarked about how much she stunk of dragon as she rose to go take a bath. A maid passed by, offering sweet cakes. I declined, knowing that if I ate something, it would just come right back up.
And then I was alone.
Alone with my thoughts, which is worse when the thoughts could become true this time.
I repeat his name like a mantra out loud. Quietly. Oh so quietly, but the guards still glance my way. As if, by keeping repeating it, I'll somehow keep his heart beating by speaking his name over and over. Seeing the arrows strike his body is something that will never leave my sight. It will haunt me for the rest of eternity. Every time I close my eyes, I see the image behind my eyelids. I'm sure it will be in my nightmares tonight and every night after, but I would bear the burden if it meant his pain would ease and that his dreams would be peaceful.
Some time ago, I dozed off. I knock my head against the wall with a wince. Baela appears at my side, a tired smile plastered across her lips.
"He's alright. They did the most they could."
I attempt to spring up onto my feet. My legs feel fuzzy as I lose my balance, but Baela grips my forearms to stabilize me. I smile weakly as I hurry past her as quickly as I can. I walk into his bedchambers. The room smells of frankincense and salt.
My breathing hitches once my gaze lands on Jace. The arrows that were protruding from his body when I held him are gone. His riding leathers are gone, replaced with bandages around his chest. His lower half is covered in a soft, silk red blanket. His skin is still pale, but he's breathing more slowly now. My heart pounds relentlessly against my ribcage as I slowly make my way toward him.
"He's strong." I turn my head to the side to see Rhaenyra. She looks exhausted but less tense than before. Her violet eyes are soft as she goes to sit on the foot of the bed. She's still in her riding leathers from before, before we left to fight in the Gullet. I wince. She smiles slightly.
"I'm sorry, Your Grace." I whisper, I'm not sure what I'm apologizing for. Leaving her here, disobeying her, bringing back her half-dead sonโ
"You brought him back," she murmurs. I look back at him, he looks like he's still in pain. His brows are pinched together, but otherwise he looks peaceful. At least I hope he's peaceful. I scoff bitterly.
"Not fast enough." Her hand grasps mine, gentle.
"Do not speak like that. You brought him back and that is enough." It's quiet for a few aching moments. The guilt gnaws at me.
"Leaving was wrong. Keeping me in my bedchambers was wrong," she says. I purse my lips. "What you did could be seen as treason."
I look away from her, shame filling my gut.
"But," she starts. "You fought fearlessly, and you brought back my son." She pauses, pursing her lips. Her voice grows quiet. "I've already lost a son. I didn't need to lose another." My frown softens as I squeeze her hand gently. She stands up from the bed. She squeezes my shoulder before walking past.
"I'll give you both privacy."
"Thank you, Your Grace."
It's silent. I let out a deep sigh as I sit on the ground near the bed. I hesitate as my hand hovers over his. I gently interlock our fingers as I press them against my lips. Tears prick my eyes as my throat tightens.
"I'm sorry I didn't get there fast enough." I whisper against his skin. I rest my forehead against his leg as I let out a shaky breath. "I... I tried."
I feel a hand fall on top of my head, weak but still there. I practically deflate against him as tears collect on my eyelashes. My breathing hitches as he rubs soothingly down my back. this is ridiculous. I'm supposed to be comforting him.
"Oh, Jace. I thoughtโfuckโI thoughtโ" He shushes me gently. I choke on a sob, my voice brittle. My body begins to tremble uncontrollably as he weakly tugs on my hand.
"Lay with me, Nuhys qฤlos." His voice is gentle, not possessive, but so soft it makes me want to curl up in his arms.
"I can't," I breathe out, albeit sharply. "I don't want to hurt you furtherโ"
He murmurs my name again, and I shake my head vigorously. But I let him guide me. I let him tug me into the bed and into his uninjured side. And when I feel the warmth and the solidity of him, my tears turn into sobs.
He grabs my hand gentlyโso gentlyโand holds it against his chest, right against his heart. I pull back, not wanting to hurt him, but he holds firmly.
Tears still slip down my face at a rapid pace, but I calm slightly once I feel the gentle thump, thump of his heart. It's consistent and strong, and fuck, it makes me fall apart all over again. because I felt his heart fading in my hands, and if I was even a second too late, he wouldn't be alive. My breathing stutters as his thumb rubs back and forth across my skin.
"I'm here." He says it with so much conviction that I want to believe him. So I let myself breathe in his calming scent. I let myself sniffle and hiccup as I focus on his heartbeat. "I'm here now, and I am not going to leave you."
I rest my head gently in the crook of his neck, careful of the bandage around his shoulder, as he wraps a tender arm around my waist.
"Are you okay?"
He smiles weakly. "I'm better. I'm alright now."
"Thank you for saving me." He whispers, pressing a sweet kiss to my forehead. I say nothing. I can't say anything as a lump forms in my throat.
He's my lungs, my heart, the very air I breathe. He's the wind through the trees, the waves crashing against the shore, the warmth of the sun. He's the wildflowers growing in the fields. His smile alone could bring light to the darkness.
Because if I had to burn the realm down, I would do it gladly if it meant he would be warm.
"Stay?"
I raise my head from the safety of his neck. I meet his soft brown eyes โ dark and inviting, and oh so warm. When the light hits them just right, they're a pool of soft honey.
"I'm here," I whisper. I brush my thumb across his cheekbone. His eyes flutter closed. "I'll stay."
He nods, and I go back to burying my face into his skin. It's quiet for a few moments. I draw gentle patterns on his bandaged chest. I hear him laugh quietly. I raise a brow as I hum in question.
"You smell of dragon. And blood."
I let out a small laugh at that.
"I suppose I do."
But I don't make any moves to get up, and neither does he. We stay like that until the sky darkens and our breathing slows. My eyes are half-lidded as I exhale quietly.
"Jace?" I mumble.
"Hm?" I feel his thumb tracing soft patterns back and forth on my hip.
"I love you."
He looks down at me, and I meet his gaze. He presses a kiss against my forehead, letting his lips linger for a few moments.
"I love you too." His voice raw as he whispers the words against my skin.
We fall asleep, me dirtying the sheets in the bed that I'm sure the handmaids will gossip and complain about. But I let the sound of his heartbeat lull me to sleep, knowing he is safe. And I will keep it that way, even if I have to fight the gods themselves.
But for now, we will rest.
(please do NOT steal my writing in any way or rewrite it. don't post it on other sites or feed it through ai, I WILL find you if you do.)
summary: 5 times Aemond was in love with you + 1 time he finally confessed his feelings
warnings: friends to lovers (at the age of 9, 10, 15, 17, 19), a pinch of angst (Aemond healing after losing his eye), but overall so fluffy and sweet you may want to skip dessert / words: ~ 5500 (I got reeeally carried away with that love confession)
1.
Aemond is weeks away from his tenth birthday and he feels as miserable as ever. That feeling is an iron weight upon his heart, his mood irritated and face features grim more often than not. He is still without a dragon โ and itโs the only thing he can think of, day and night, steadfast and stubborn in his obsession that most of his family finds to be blown out of proportion. It might have stang him less if only it wasnโt for the constant teasing and pitiful jokes that added to his distress and the never-ending heartache. He learns to keep a straight face and act as if he doesnโt really care, but deep down he does, way more than heโll ever admit.
His training sessions are a way to channel his anger, and he lashes out at a straw man, again and again, clinging to the thought that, at least in these moments, he is not entirely powerless. He keeps his focus on the target, attentive to Ser Cristonโs advice โ โSoften your kneesโ, โKeep your feet light, your hands heavyโ, and for a couple of hours he forgets about his misery.
Itโs when the training comes to an end, the dreaded realization sinks in again, and Aemond is lost in his thoughts, mindlessly twirling the wooden sword in one hand, his gaze wandering around the yard.
And then his eyes fall on a bright green spot โ and all of a sudden, he sees you. A girl of his age, the hem of your green dress a bit dusty, boots covered in dirt, a few strands of hair fallen loose, a coy smile on your face. You meet his gaze and wave at him excitedly.
Aemond looks dumbfounded. A girl in the training yard. Waving at him. He blinks once, twice โ and in the next moment, youโre standing merely a few steps away, glancing curiously at his sword.
โIt looks so hefty! Is it heavy? What is it made of?โ a string of questions, your voice sweet and joyful.
Thereโs a brief pause and maybe you mistake his stiffness for arrogance as you are quick to add:
โOh, my manners!โ gasping but showing no actual regret. โForgive me,โ you curtsy, your smile growing even wider. A timid smile appears on his face in return and he finally comes to his senses.
โItโs made out of red oak. Itโs not very heavy, you get used to it,โ Aemond raises the sword, letting you take a closer look. Within another blink of an eye he finds himself talking to you, your questions endless and maybe a bit naive but he genuinely enjoys it.
Thatโs until you both hear a loud cry.
โLady Y/N!โ your nanny comes running in, out of breath and scowling. โI told you not to wander around...,โ she chokes on her words at the sight of the young prince. She curtsies, too, but it isnโt nearly as cute as when you do it.
She sprints decisively in your direction. โIt wasnโt very polite of you to interrupt the princeโs training, you little menace!โ
And then Aemond, to his own surprise, moves to stand in her way.
โShe didnโt interrupt a thing,โ he disagrees, lips thinned into a tight line.
The nanny stops and looks at Aemond dubiously, switching her gaze from him to you.
Ser Criston is the one to resolve the conflict โ he comes from behind, with a polite smile plastered on his face.
โYoung lady can watch from the balcony. The guests are very much welcomed,โ he calls for the maid to escort you and your nanny up there. While youโre away, he looks at Aemond with a grin:
โAlready wooing the ladies, my prince? Letโs hope you are as good with your sword as she thinks you are.โ
He does make Aemond work for it but the prince fights back, winning one bout after the other. He keeps glancing at you and you wave at him every single time.
Aemond is too young to know what love is, too shy and guarded to even entertain the thought of it. But when you look at him, with your childish grin and your eyes bright with mirth, he doesnโt feel lonely anymore.
2.
Itโs been two weeks since Aemond lost his eye and he hasnโt left the bed. The pain is still blinding, burning and constantly making his only eye water. But what hurts even more is the humiliating disability. The triumph of claiming Vhagar died down, and now the prince was faced with the harsh reality he needed to adjust to and the process wasnโt an easy one. The fever has only recently gone down, leaving his body weak and freezing from the lack of movement, but he couldnโt bear the thought of stepping out of the room.
His mother wouldnโt leave his side and even Aegon often came to visit, clearly blaming himself for not being there for his little brother. Yet their presence barely brought Aemond any comfort and most of the time he would pretend to be asleep to avoid any conversations. He knew they only meant well and he was being cruel but he couldnโt help it as his pride was shattered and he gave in to sadness.
That is until one night he wakes up to a weird sound. Heโs only half-awake when he hears a vigorous tapping that clearly comes from the outside. Except it's not from the other side of the door โ but rather outside his window.
Heโs startled by this guess and suspiciously walks closer. It takes him a few seconds to focus his gaze and discern a humanโs silhouette โ and then another few to realize that itโs you standing on the window sill. He feels like his heart will jump out of his chest as he rushes to open the window.
You climb through and clumsily drop to the floor. But before he can get worried, you are on your feet again, eyeing him with concern.
โOh, Aemond,โ your gaze and voice are both so soft, it makes his lower lip quiver. You carefully approach him and put your hand on his shoulder, gently sliding it on his back in a soothing motion and then cuddling him. He welcomes your company with a sigh of relief. You smell of oranges and you give the best hugs.
โThey told me no one was allowed into your chambers,โ your hushed whisper burns his ear. โThe silliest thing Iโve ever heard!โ you pull away from him, still lightly panting, cheeks flushed and hair messy. โI knew I had to find a way to come see you.โ
You examine his face, frowning at the scar thatโs still healing.
โDoes it hurt?โ
He only nods, afraid that if he opens his mouth, he wonโt be able to hold back a sob. You move closer, resuming the gentle motion of rubbing his back.
Ever since that day in the training yard, you kept in touch, regularly sending each other letters, chatting about everything and nothing, sharing your little secrets and observations. You recently mentioned that your parents allowed you to come see him again, but with the tragic change of events, Aemond completely forgot about the preplanned visit.ย
โI will take his eye,โ you say out of the blue, caressing the unharmed side of his face, your voice laced with anger. Aemond thinks he mightโve heard it wrong.
โ...Whose eye?โ
โLukeโs! I shall take his eye, as payment for yours,โ you tell him with zero hesitation. For a girl of your age, youโre way too eager to plan such a thing, yet he somehow has no doubts that you canย actuallyย do it.
Aemond shakes his head.
โYou shouldnโt,โ his voice quiet but firm. โThe King wasย veryย adamant about that, no payment is needed.โ
โWell, maybe he is too old to think straight,โ you retort. โYou are his son and you lost an eye! Justice must prevail,โ you tilt your head at him, clearly thinking that youโre in the right.
And he knows thatย you areย but he also knows no justice will be served. Itโs the last straw for Aemond โ he looks away in shame as tears, hot and angry, start falling down his cheek. You waste no time hugging him again, letting him cry on your shoulder, and the two of you stay like that for what feels like an hour.
And then, in the comfortable silence of your embrace, he hears you asking, very seriously:
โAre youย sureย I canโt take his eye?โ
At that moment, he canโt stop himself from letting out a laugh โ a weak one and barely audible, but still, he laughs, for the first time in two weeks, and you are the sole reason for it.ย
Your cheek is pressed to his, your fingers running through his hair, and Aemond realizes he canโt lose you.
He begrudgingly persuades you that taking Lukeโs eye isnโt worth the trouble.
3.
By the age of fifteen Aemond becomes quite accustomed to the eyepatch and it gives him a boost of confidence. Losing an eye only made him train harder and his persistence pays off when heโs the one to win, time after time, no matter who his opponent is. His hair grows longer, now silky smooth and with no sign of his boyish curled ends, his face features sharpen. He learns to walk with his head high and hands clasped behind his back, mastering the intimidating look that makes most people want to stay away from the one-eyed prince.ย
His tricks couldโve never worked on you, though.
You come to visit him a few times a year, and he eagerly awaits your arrival. All the days in between, you keep talking through letters, them getting longer as you get closer. He keeps those letters locked in a hidden compartment of his table. And sometimes, for no specific reason โ or maybe for the reason he canโt yet formulate โ he is drawn to reach for them, which always ends with him rereading the letters for hours. Some of them he knows by heart and yet it never stops him from having the pleasure of seeing your handwritten stories and little jokes that were only meant for him.
Today is no exception and Aemond is so enthralled by reading, he almost misses the knock on the door. The sound brings him to reality but he is in no hurry to react. The knocking comes again, and the prince groans, annoyed at the maidโs persistence. He carefully puts the letters back and goes to the door, armed with his cold gaze.
And then he opens it โ and itโs you standing in front of him.ย
Aemond barely has time to register whatโs going on when you launch yourself at him, your arms immediately enveloping him in a tight hug, your laugh ringing in the air. He hugs you back and, while you canโt see it, heโs grinning from ear to ear.
โI swear youโre getting taller every time we meet!โ you look up at him, beaming, and he lets you in. โI soon will need a ladder just to hug you properly.โ
โIโll be sure to let my body know of your disapproval,โ he sneers and you stick out your tongue.
โWhile you are at it, shall you also work on your friendly face? I overheard the maids being frightened to go into your chambers,โ you try giving him a scolding look but end up giggling at his reddened cheeks.
โI am friendly enough!โ
โYes, nobody glowers quite like you,โ you snicker and flop right on the floor, the move always making him smile. Aemond tried persuading you to sit on any other surface thatโs actually meant for sitting but you insisted that his fluffy rug works just as well, so he eventually gave up, deciding to join you. He never complained since.
Before he knows it, heโs immersed in the conversation while you enthusiastically share the recent news and everything thatโs happened to you on the road. Only about half an hour in, he notes a small bag youโre clasping in your hands.
โYou come bearing gifts?โ
โOh, I almost forgot I had it,โ you laugh, abashed. โI decided I should bring you something to replace this crumpled-looking thingโ.
It takes Aemond a minute to realize that youโre talking about his eyepatch. But he has no time to protest as you silence him with a gesture of your hand.
โI took it upon myself to count for how long youโve been wearing this one already,โ your tone gets serious. โI must say, that number is disturbing.โ
Thereโs a moment of silence and then he clears his throat, his voice unsure. โVery kind of you to think of that, I shall replace it later on.โ
He reaches his hand to take the bag but you quickly cover it with yours, fingers brushing over his, and he freezes.
โAre youย stillย not convinced that I can take a look at it?โ you try to make eye contact but he averts your gaze.
โAemond, I was with you and I think Iโve seen enough back then โ none of it scared me.โ
โIt is not a sight for the faint of heart,โ the prince mumbles, his bravado faltering.
โWell, I donโt remember fainting the first time. You should have more faith in me,โ you try to reason, holding his hand.
Aemond ponders for another minute โ or maybe ten, he isnโt sure, and you patiently wait, not wanting to press him any further. Then he finally makes a decision and, after taking a long, sad sigh, he removes the eyepatch and looks at you, the sight of him is the very definition of insecurity.
You stay silent for about five seconds before concluding:
โOh, it healed so nicely!โ with no hint of uncertainty in your voice. Your smile reassures him a little as you peer at the sapphire, looking very pleased.
โThe gem compliments your eye very well,โ you give him your verdict, taking the new eyepatch out.
โWe might have a different understanding of what a compliment is.โ
โThis is me trying to say that Iย really likeย the way it looks,โ you chide him lightly. โAnd I consider myself to be quite understanding, thank you very much. Will you stop pouting and let me put it on?โ
At this point he surrenders, giving you permission, and you move closer,ย gigglingย with excitement. You gently fix his hair, making sure itโs all combed back, and then lean to put the eyepatch on. You have a habit of biting your lower lip when youโre too concentrated on something, and Aemond canโt help but gaze at that part of your face while your teeth graze over the pillowy surface.ย
Heโs never let anyone this close โ and not just in the sense of physical proximity. The moment is very intimate, and the softness of your movements tugs at his heart. He is suddenly very aware of the very short distance separating you two, and he holds his breath. You are oblivious to his stare and soon lean back, satisfied with the result and glancing at him with something akin to fondness.
He wishes he could paint a picture of you right at this moment, so tender and caring and sitting by his side.
He also wishes he could kiss you โ and that thought scares him to death. And yet, once it appears, it never goes away.
4.
Aemond is seventeen and his life has been pure torture since you stopped visiting him. He hasnโt seen you in over half a year (seven months and eleven days, not that anyone is counting). Itโs not your fault as your father has unexpectedly fallen ill and you couldnโt leave his side. The prince exhausted the maester with questions, asking for advice to write back to you, worried sick that your separation would be stretched for way longer than he could handle.
Luckily, the Gods took pity on him, and he was glad to learn that your father got better, and you will come to Kingโs Landing soon. Your visit coincided with Aegonโs birthday, but Aemond didnโt care about the feast, his mind only occupied with the thought of seeing you. He was both nervous and excited to the point of not even hiding it, which led to Aegon teasing him relentlessly. Helaena, on the other hand, wholeheartedly supported Aemondโs feelings for you.
โShe will be delighted to see you, too, I am sure of it,โ his sister tells him the day before the event.
โBut the reason for it might be of a different nature,โ Aemond remarks, and Helaena gives him a compassionate look.
โYou will never know her true feelings unless you ask,โ she encourages. โThe two of you are so close, I consider her part of the family.โ
Aemond knows that heโs of age and his mother hinted that, despite him showing no interest in courting, some ladies still found him attractive. He dismisses the idea but then finds himself thinking of it from time to time. When the realization forms in his head, itโs nerve-wracking but oh so compelling โ he thinks he wouldโve really wanted to marryย you. He just doesnโt know how to tell you about it.
The day of your arrival comes, and Aemond wakes up at dawn in anticipation, determined to confess his feelings. He tries to come up with a speech, but it feels wrong and sounds weird, and he decides it will be better to improvise. He all but runs to the courtyard to be the first one to greet you. However, when you step out of the carriage, smoothing your dress, and your eyes meet, Aemond stops dead in his tracks and the world around him stands still.
His confidence mightโve blossomed โ but not nearly as much as your beauty did. Somehow in those recent months, youโve matured into a woman that takes his breath away.
Itโs not a drastic change, itโs all in the details: the contours of your face are more defined, the cheekbones prominent, your hair knotted up high in a perfect style and even your pace is much slower and gracious. You walk towards one another, both suddenly cautious. But when you are a couple of meters apart, a well-known smile appears on your face and you hold your arms out to him and he finally hugs you again, after all this time. Aemond relaxes, inhaling the familiar scent of fruits that you undoubtedly munched on your way here.
โYou look exactly as I remembered you,โ you say as you slip from his embrace.
โAnd you are a sight to behold,โ he breathes out, taking you in, and your cheeks heat up at the compliment. Youโve never been shy with him before, so this is also new. He wonders what mightโve caused this change.
As the two of you walk around the castle, it feels a bit awkward at first, and you keep glancing at him with emotion he canโt read. But Aemond is too happy to see you to give it much thought, and within an hour you ease into the conversation, too. By the time the evening comes, the tension disappears, and you are laughing at his sarcastic remarks again, and he savors every second of it.
The feast in honor of Aegon is lush and crowded, but you stay by Aemondโs side, enjoying each otherโs company, and he only has eye for you. When the music gets too loud, you sneak out and soon find yourselves in his chambers, just like in the good old days.
Aemond is in the middle of telling you about Aegonโs recent foray to the Flea Bottom, when you say. โItโs just the two of us,โ your fingers sink into the fluffy rug. โYou donโt have to wear it with me. You know it, right?โ
He wears the eyepatch with everyone, only taking it off before going to sleep. Moreover, he actually cherishes it because itโs a gift fromย you.
Aemond hesitates. โI thought you quite liked it.โ
โI only gave it to you because yours started to look like it was pulled off a dead manโs body!โ you laugh.
Before he can think of an answer, you lean closer โ your shoulder brushing his, your hand touching his face, the same gentle warmth he remembers so well, โ and remove the eyepatch yourself. The sight doesnโt bother you in the slightest as you confess:
โI accept you the way you are, Aemond,โ and then, a moment away from him opening his mouth and saying the thing thatโs been on the tip of his tongue for the duration of the day, you add, โThatโs what friends are for โ and you are my best friend.โ
And just like that, with this word alone, his plan goes out the window.
A friend. Aemond canโt even be upset at the reveal, because, honestly, being your friend feels like a blessing in itself and he wouldnโt trade it for the world. How could he be so selfish and foolish to even think about risking it all, risk losing you?
So he keeps his feelings to himself, locking them away deep in his heart, and doesn't argue with you.
Maybe he should have.
5.
By the age of nineteen Aemond reaches the conclusion that heย wantsย to take the risk. Otherwise, he thinks he might actually die as his heart can not hold all his feelings anymore. In two years' time, there isnโt a single thing about you that he hasnโt come to love, and keeping it a secret becomes harder with each day.
Aemond is ridden with doubts to the point where he canโt hide it any longer and he decides to seek advice โ and the prince canโt think of a better person to talk to than his mother. Unbeknownst to him, Alicent was the first one to notice. Years ago, when you were kids, she quickly sensed the effect you had on her son, and it brought her joy as she watched the two of you get closer with time.
So when Aemond bursts into her room, anxiety radiating off of him as he starts jabbering away, his pacing erratic and voice trembling, it takes her about a minute to realize what's going on.
โMy dear, I think you must talk to her,โ she approaches him, an understanding look on her face.
Aemond cuts his speech short, eyeing her with wonder:
โYou donโt seem surprised.โ
โYour affection for her is as bright as a fire blazing,โ Alicent chuckles. โI believe she is the only one who doesnโt see it.โ
โShould I tell her...?โ he doesnโt dare say it out loud, not yet.
Alicent briefly takes his hands in hers, squeezing them. โYou should tell herย the truth.โ
Her encouragement gives him a dash of hope, lifting a weight off his chest. Aemond knows in an instant that the letter wonโt cut it, and you must have the conversation face-to-face. Fortunately, your next visit is in a month, so his suffering wonโt last for much longer.
Aemond almost reaches the door but then sharply turns to his mother again, his cheeks flushed:
โWill you give me your approval?โ and this time, he looks straight at her as he wants to see her genuine reaction.
Alicent smiles, quick to reassure him. โYes, Aemond. Your betrothal would only make me happy.โ
The prince feels elated, almost euphoric, as he finally goes to meet you and runs the remaining distance from his chambers to the yard. But when he sees you, the smile disappears from his face because he notices that something is wrong.
You look visibly upset, your eyes watering and fingers fumbling with the dress, even though you try to force a smile in return. The hug you give him is weak and you keep looking at your feet.
โWhat is the matter?โ heโs never seen you this sad, but you brush him off.
โItโs just a headache, no need to worry.โ
Yet thatโs exactly what he does, offering to call for the maester, or to prepare you a warm bath, or bring you some tea...
โA cup of water would be nice, thank you,โ he leaves you in the hallway to go and get it himself, the task only takes a couple of minutes. When he returns, you stand with your back to him, your shoulders are shaking โ and he hears quiet, muffled sobs. If it wasnโt for the nearby table, he wouldโve thrown the cup away, his focus on you alone. As he rushes to envelop you in a hug, you donโt fight it, instead nestling your face against his chest, not hiding your tears anymore.
Aemond gives you some time before asking again.
โThis doesnโt look like just a headache. What is the cause of your anguish?โ now heโs the one running his fingers up and down your back.
You let out a sound thatโs a mix between a groan and a whine.
โMy father says I am to be betrothed soon. He says I am of age already and... and he wants me to meet some of my cousins,โ you sniffle. โI told him I have no wish to get married but he refuses to listen,โ you bite your lip, not wanting to cry again.
Surely, thatโsย notย how Aemond wanted to ask you. But he decides to take his chance.
โMayhaps there is another way out that could make you feel better.โ
โPlease donโt tell me Vhagar will burn them down,โ you jest but the smile doesnโt reach your eyes. Aemond thinks your idea isnโtย thatย bad โ but he has to try his first.
โIf he insists you should marry but doesnโt have a particular candidate, maybe you can pick one yourself?โ
โIโve met all my cousins โ and half of them are imbeciles, the others are too old to survive a wedding,โ you scoff.
โThen pick someone you are not related to,โ Aemond suggests.
โDoย youย have a particular candidate in mind?โ when you ask with a tinge of annoyance, you donโt think he will answer. And then you look at him โ and see him grinning before he says:
โMeโ.
You glare at Aemond with eyes wide and mouth agape, the expression frozen on your face for a good minute.ย
โAre you laughing at me?โ you manage to say.
โI wouldnโt dare,โ his nerves are as tight as a wound-up string.
In the blink of a moment, your face lights up. You are looking at him indecisively, searching for words, agitated. But Aemond mistakes your confusion for rejection.
โAt the very least you will marry someone you know,โ he tries to reason โ but it backfires, wiping the joyfulness off your face.
Taken aback, you inquire. โYou pity me?โ
He doesnโt grasp the poor choice of his words yet.
โYou pity me andย thatโsย why you want to marry me?โ you give him a look of disbelief, your eyes glossy, and he canโt get his head around what just happened.
โOh, it was so silly of me to think that...,โ you choke back a sob, putting your hand over your mouth.
Never in his life he thought he would be the reason for you looking so heartbroken. Aemond covers your hand with his palm โ and you let him, as he tries to gather his courage.
โI only meant to say that I โโ
And then you recoil, snapping your hand back.
โAemond, donโt,โ you take a step back from him, then another one. โYou have said enough. Please, let me be,โ you turn away and leave the hall in a hurry before he can utter another word.
... 1.
He finds you at your usual spot, under the blossoming cherry tree. Youโve always said you liked the color of it, little white flowers reminding you of early spring, your favorite time of the year. You donโt know that Aemond insisted on planting that tree specifically for you. Just so he can sit nearby and, as you were basking in the sunlight with your eyes closed, he would get a chance to look at you with all his unconditional love and have those moments engraved in his memory.
Come to think of it, he had so many memories of you โ and every single one of them was bliss, and he can recall them so easily like it was yesterday.
And so he does.
โWhen we first met, you wore a green dress,โ his voice startles you, but you donโt turn to face him, sniffling with your arms folded. โIt was the color of forest trees. Black lace around the hem of it, the matching hair ribbon that you kept losing,โ he keeps his distance, his hands shaking.
โYes, I remember it pretty well,โ you sigh, avoiding his gaze, baffled by his sudden outburst.
โThe second time was when you climbed through my window, almost gave me a heart attack,โ thereโs a hint of a smile in his voice that you catch even without looking. โBlue dress, you tore a huge piece of it and couldnโt care less. You were the first person to make me laugh in two weeks even though it seemed impossible. But not with you.โ
He sees your eyebrows furrowing, hands sliding down to rest on your knees.
โHelaenaโs name day came next, your dress was bright pink. Luke tried to make fun of it and you threw a cup full of water in his face. To this day, itโs one of my fondest memories.โ
You dare to look up at him, perplexed, your eyes wet from crying.ย
โThree months after was the light-blue dress, then the peach one and the brown one. Then the white one which didnโt survive the horse riding lesson, and Helaena gave you one of hers. Light green, too long for your liking, even though you pretended otherwise to please her,โ the corners of your lips tremble, your face softening.
โThen for a year you only wore violet, much to your nannyโs dismay as she thought it made you look ill. And I thought you were the prettiest girl Iโve ever seen, no matter what dress you were in,โ he canโt take his eye off you.
Your face expression melts into a stunned one.
โI didnโt realize it back then. Or maybe I didnโt know how to call it. I just knew that your visits only brought me happiness,โ he takes a step toward you, uncertain, but you donโt move from your spot.
โWhen you were fourteen, you picked the autumn colors โ orange, dark yellow, deep red. Your started braiding your hair, tried to braid mine,โ you canโt hold back a smile. He was fussy when you first voiced the idea but he ended up loving the process so much, he would allow it just to feel your fingers flowing through his hair.
โI think you actually enjoyed it,โ you mumble, and Aemond smiles, too.
โI did. I enjoyed every minute that I got to spend with you.โ
You stand up then, feeling your pulse quickening.
โThe day you brought me the eyepatch, you wore emerald green. I was terrified to show you the scar,โ he pauses, catching his breath. โYou assuaged my fears with your kindness. But then I was terrified to learn that I wanted to kiss you.โ
You think you are dreaming. Is it possible that you fell asleep under the tree? You donโt want to get your hopes too high, but when he looks at you likeย this, your own fears start melting away.
โThen was the black dress, the grey one, another white one. The golden one you wore to meet Vhagar,โ when he saw you that day, he almost forgot how to breathe. You showed no sigh of apprehension as you fearlessly approached the dragon. He was absolutely besotted.
โAnd then came the agony of not seeing you for over seven months,โ he closes his eye for a second, overwhelmed. He almost misses it when you speak:
โSeven months and twenty-five days. Not that I was counting,โ his eye snaps open, instantly on you again.
You gravitate toward each other without even noticing. Aemondโs heart skips a beat when youโre at armโs length, your eyes shining and lips slightly parted. Even in the state youโre in, you look so beautiful, itโs mesmerizing, and the words are stuck in his throat. You are the one to break the silence.
โAemond, please don't give me false hope,โ your heartbeat is too loud, you donโt hear your own voice. He does.
โI do not wish to marry you out of pity,โ Aemond takes the last step. โI want you to be my wife because I am in love with you,โ he wipes away the remaining tears off your face, his fingers linger, making you shiver. โIโve been in love with you for quite some time. For a few years, actually,โ his voice gets low. โFor what feels like an eternity,โ Aemond murmurs.
โWhy havenโt you told me?โ you pout,ย nervouslyย toying with the collar of his shirt.
โI was afraid you didnโt feel the same. I still am but maybe... Maybe I am wrong?โ his gaze is fixed on you, one of his hands following the contour of your waist, your body warming at the touch.
โTell me that I am wrong,โ he whispers, begging.
You look at his lips, the soft curve of them that youโve dreamt of for so long.
Aemond always thought yours were the most kissable heโs ever seen.
You donโt know who closes the distance first โ but his mouth is suddenly on yours and the sensation leaves you disarmed. Kissing him is like being swept with a wave of tenderness, and youโre floating in it, his lips so fervid and supple โ truly perfect โ your head is spinning. The kiss is not awkward nor modest as youย hastilyย cling to each other, his hands gripping your waist, your chest pressed into his.
Aemond feels like heโs drowning, and he wants more of you โ all of you, and then your fingers tug at his locks, eliciting a groan from him, and it is simply aย miracleย that his heart doesnโt explode. You move in impeccable sync, in the passionate harmony that erupts from years worth of mutual pining. His lungs burn but he resists the urge to break the kiss and stretches it out the best he can until you are breathless, too.
โNever knew that you were so fascinated by my wardrobe choices,โ you tease, and his hum turns into a chuckle.
โYou know what my favorite memory is?โ you ask, your forehead resting against his.
โWhen we were ten-and-three, and you were teaching me how to hold a sword. I tackled you to the ground and scraped my knee,โ you both smile at your then enthusiasm. โAnd you set everything aside to spend the rest of the day with me even though it was hardly a wound. And I remember thinking,โ you hook your finger under his chin, โthat thereโs nowhere else I would rather be than with you, with this favorite boy of mine.โ
The air around you is tense, and you are enchanted by each other.
โDid that help to prove you wrong?โ
โI may need some convincing,โ his breath fans over your lips.
โYou can take your time,โ you laugh โ and then the sound of it is muffled by his athirst mouth.
His favorite memory will beย this.
And every other moment with you thatโs to come.
authorโs note: sorry if this came out rushed. I tried my best to write a shorter fic (this is short for me lmao) and idk how I feel about it. I prefer them longer because Iโm a sucker for stories about two people getting toย knowย each other and falling in love. BUT I get it that others donโt want to read long ass fics (which kinda breaks my heart but I'm being so very brave about it)
๐ the longer version of this ficย might haveย looked like this (yes, this is a shameless plug! because I adore this one to pieces!! bite me)
๐ตย the title is a quote from Elvis Presleyโs song (duh). there are quite a few covers of it but one of my favorites is by Twenty One Pilots. thereโs also a female version โ by Ingrid Michaelson โ and I think both of them fit the story really well.
๐ my masterlist
P.S. Iโm also on AO3 (lol, who isnโt), in case you prefer to read fics there.
English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes!
I see youโre open for requests ๐ Could you write Aemond x Reader who is his childhood best friend (she could be like a commoner or a servant) Iโm not sure about the plotโฆthought you might have some ideas, it could be angst and end with fluff ๐
Love, love, love this request! Thanks so much, nonnie, I hope you enjoy ๐
Aemond x Reader
rating: mentions of Aemond's eye injury, some angst & fluff
word count: 1.6k
masterlist
You opened the door to Prince Aemondโs chamber, sticking your small head inside. The room was dark aside from the beams of sunlight that shone through the gossamer curtains. The breeze made them dance across the floor.
โPrince Aemond?โ you called, in a voice squeaking with nerves. There was no reply. You knew the young prince was supposed to be at the dragonpit, but something inside of you begged you to check. After assuming the coast must be clear, you entered, bringing with you your bucket.ย
It was your job to replenish the fireplaces in the chambers of the royal families. You were still a small child, and this was the task that suited you best. You could enter any room in the Red Keep practically unnoticed.ย
You walked over to his fireplace, getting started right away. You were eager to finish the job and be off before the prince returned. Digging through the soot, you cleared the ashes, placing fresh logs atop. When your work looked decent, you stood, brushing the soot from your hands onto the apron you wore.ย
A breeze tore through the room through the open windows, sending several papers scattering from the princeโs desk. You rushed to collect them, taking care to not stain the pages with soot. As you placed them on the desk you couldnโt help but admire the pages of one of the many books that lay open.ย
It was the drawing of a dragon that caught your eye, with descriptions and arrows pointing at various parts of the creature's body. You squinted at the pages in front of you.
โWhat are you doing?โ
You nearly jump out of your skin as you turn wide-eyed to face Prince Aemond. Eyes wide, mouth gasping like a fish out of water, you do not answer him. Aemond raises a brow, looking from you to the book.
โWere you reading?โ
You find your voice.
โN-no! No, my prince,โ you stutter, feeling your cheeks warm. You desperately hope the soot from the fire hides the rosy flush.
โDo not lie, I saw you,โ Aemond says, as though he is your father, not someone the same age as you.
โI wasnโt my prince,โ you tell him, โI cannot read.โ
Aemondโs face scrunches at this. He walks over to you then, pulling the book from his desk. He holds it across his chest, to face you.
โWhat does it say?โ
Your lip wobbles. Embarrassment fills you and burns your insides like a fever. Surely, he means to humiliate you.ย
โI do not know, my prince.โ
He brings a finger under a word.ย
โBalerion,โ he says, looking at the page and back to you.
โBalerion,โ you repeat, earning a nod.
Aemond traces the letter at the beginning of the word.
โThat's a B,โ he tells you, violet eyes meeting yours.ย
From then on you found yourself lingering in Aemondโs chambers when you went to do your daily task. Each day he would show you something new, different words, different letters, the names of great houses and maidens in songs.ย
Aemond and you became fast friends. Slowly, he was teaching you how to read. You enjoyed the company of the prince. He was patient with you and seemed to enjoy being able to teach you. Aemond did not have friends, and he was happy to have you.ย
Soon, you were both reading books together every chance you had. In the library, in the gardens. Aemond would even forego the Dragonpit to join you on your rounds to the other chambers of the Red Keep, book in tow.ย
When the royal family went to Driftmark for the funeral of Laena Velaryon, you found yourself missing the company of your new friend.ย
You heard what had happened before the royal family returned. You found yourself shaking with nerves once more when entering the princeโs chambers.ย
โPrince Aemond?โ you called, opening the door. You could see his small body, tangled in the sheets. The curtains were drawn completely shut. You entered slowly, tip-toeing.ย
โAemond?โ you called to your friend. The bed rustled, but he did not respond. Assuming he was not up for visitors, you went about your duties. When you had finished, you glanced towards the bed once more.ย
โAemond?โ you tried once more, hearing a sniffle in response. You placed your bucket down and walked towards him. A book lay on the floor, seemingly tossed from the side. You gently picked it up.ย
โI canโt,โ Aemond whimpered, sniffling once more. He turned his head and your eyes widened at the state of him. The stitches across his face were red and swollen, his functioning eye was wet with tears. His whole face was an angry shade of red.ย
โI canโt even read,โ he sobbed, fingers clutching the sheets, โIโm fucking pathetic.โ
Wet tears rolled down his face, snot leaking from his nose. The pillow he lies on is damp from his crying.ย
You bring a hand to his shoulder and he flinches away from your touch. Aemond feels as though his shame is fire beneath the surface of his skin, threatening to boil him alive.ย
โI shall read to you,โ you whispered. Aemond looked at you through his tears. His hands begin to shake.ย
โHere,โ you told him, placing the book in his lap before walking to the other side of the bed. You climbed onto the linens sitting next to Aemond. Taking the book from his lap you turned the page.ย
โThe days before the Doom were quiet, though legends say this was an omen of death.โ you began, as Aemond rested his head against your shoulder.ย
~
โI want you to come see,โ Aemond says, when you enter his chambers. He pulls the pail from your grasp, lacing his hand in yours. You have never seen him so elated, his smile is blinding.ย
He pulls you from the room, dragging you down the halls of the keep until you reach a large window facing Blackwater Bay.ย
โLook,โ he says, pointing in the distance. You squint, the sun reflecting off of the bay nearly blinding you. Suddenly, you feel the castle shudder, it's as though again it has fallen down the serpentine steps.ย
Vhagar flies overhead, out towards the bay. She lets out a roar, powerful wings causing the waves of the bay to change direction.ย
โSheโs mine,โ he tells you, giddy with excitement.ย
Your eyes are like saucers. Youโve never seen a larger dragon.ย
โSheโs amazing,โ you admit, feeling a pang of jealousy. Now Aemond shall take to the skies, leaving you alone in the castle once more.ย
You want to hate Vhagar for stealing your only friend, but you canโt seem to find it in your heart to hate the magnificent creature.ย
Aemondโs hand still holds yours, you can feel your palm begin to sweat with the realization. He tears his gaze from Vhagar to look at you. The stitches have been removed from his face, the skin is now turning into a pearl-colored scar across his face.
โNow we can fly,โ he tells you, the grin never leaving his face. Your heart stutters in your chest.
โWe?โย
Aemondโs smile falters for a moment, his eyebrows crease together.ย
โYou and I, whenย mother allows it,โ he tells you, โVhagar can carry many books, and we can fly to anywhere in the seven kingdoms.ย
Your smile matches his. He has not intended to leave you behind.ย
โI would like that, my prince.โ
~years later~
You do not announce when you enter Aemondโs room now. Being friends for so long has awarded you that right. You have grown alongside him, rising in the ranks from lowly fireplace servant to chambermaid.ย
Aemond is awake when you enter, as he often is. He has most likely already been to the training yard that morning before you arrived. While you detest early mornings, Aemond loves them.ย
โGood morning, my prince,โ you address formally, carrying new bedsheets. Aemondโs mouth twists from where he sits at his desk.ย
โAo issi biare tubฤซ,โ he says, barely looking up from his work. (You are happy today).ย
You begin to strip the bed.ย
โYouโll have to teach me sooner or later,โ you tell him, and make a face, pausing your movements to glance at him.ย
โWhat?โ he inquires. His gaze has risen from his desk, a sly smile on his face. Aemondโs eyepatch is missing, he rarely wears it in his chambers (or around you) and the sight of the blue sapphire never fails to take your breath away.ย
You narrow your eyes at your friend.ย
โTeach me,โ you demand, crossing your arms in front of you. Aemond cocks his head to the side.ย
โUnwise to command a prince,โ he teases, piling his papers away and rising from his desk. He walks over to you.ย
โOh come now, Aemond,โ you pouted, causing him to chuckle.
โTeach me.โ
Aemond bites the inside of his cheek. It is as though you are children again. You, a curious little creature peering over the knowledge he possesses.ย
โFine,โ he agrees, โsince you asked so sweetly, gevie.โ (beautiful).
You swat at his arm, a blush creeping up your cheeks. Though you were close companions you could not help the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when he talked to you in such a manner.
โWhatโs that mean?โ you inquire, โGevie?โ
Aemond lets the word hang in the air for a moment, enjoying the way his mother tongue falls from your lips.ย
โBeautiful,โ he murmurs, and the heat in your face nearly sets you ablaze.ย
โMe?โ you ask and Aemond lets out a real laugh then, from deep within his chest.ย
โOf course you,โ he tells you, โonly you.โ
Summary โ You give Gunwoo a little incentive to win his upcoming match with the promise of an enticing reward.
Requested: @lilylily123
Kim Gunwoo x reader / โฃ SMUT / 1.9k โข
WARNINGS: Sub!Gunwoo, dry humping, grinding, pillow princess!gunwoo, a bit of praise, dirty talk
Lily's note โ ๐ชท Genuinely Gunwoo is the blueprint for hot strong but subby men and I will go crazy if I can never have that okay bye
โHey pretty boy, how are youโmpfh!โ All the air leaves your lungs in a pained gasp when Gunwoo falls on you, his entire body lying flat against yours. Your breaths choke out as you try to speak and slap his arm in an effort to to save yourself until he eventually rolls over on his back as you suck in a fresh breath of air.
โYou almost killed me!โ You shout at him, though heโs clearly unbothered by the way he reaches for your hand and intertwines your fingers.
โIโm so tiredโฆ I had a really long day. Just wanna lay with you.โ
He latches onto your side and slides his thigh over your hips. You run a hand through his hair and scratch at his scalp, his body relaxing fully against you, ridding itself of the tension from his earlier training session.
โYouโve been training extra hard for your match in a few days right?โ
He nods against your neck and when he speaks, his lips brush your skin. โHeโs undefeated so Iโm a little nervous.โ
He adjusts his leg slightly to get more comfortable (is what you assume), as you whisper words of encouragement into his earโhow strong he is, how skilled, how no one could ever compare to him.
With every praise, his hips shift against yours until heโs pressing his erection insistently against your thigh, and you realize what he really needs.
He fully rolls his hips against you and his breath comes in short, uneven gasps against your neck.
โI thought youโre tired, baby?โ
He's already so worked up, and you've barely touched him.
"I am but..." He stutters through another shaky breath. "Need you."
The desperate whine in his voice sends hot pulses straight to your clit. You run your hands down his muscular back, feeling the still swollen muscles from his workout bulging, and you decide he's done enough work that day.
You roll him onto his back and swing a leg over to straddle his hips. The surprised little gasp he lets out makes you grin as you settle against him, his hands finding your waist.
You lean down to capture his lips in a slow, deep kiss. His mouth opens for you at the first touch of contact, so pliant and eager, and you slide your tongue against his. You roll and press them together as his grip on you tightens, then you pull back, a thin strand of saliva connects you for just a moment before breaking.
"Let me take care of you," you murmur against his lips. "Since you're so exhausted."
His eyes flutter, soft blush dusting his cheeks as his chin lowers into a tiny nod that gives you all the permission you need.
You sit up and pull your shirt over your head, tossing it behind you while his gaze drops, lips parting as he takes you in. You reach for the hem of his shirt next, and he lifts his arms obediently, letting you peel the damp fabric away from his skin and discard it.
The sight of him laid out beneath youโbroad shoulders, toned chest rising and falling with eager pantsโmakes your mouth water with a thirst only he could ever pull from you.
You run your palms flat over his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin and the faint tremble that runs through him at your touch until you reach his nipples. You circle them with your thumbs, feeling them tighten under your attention.
His fingers dig into your hips, gripping hard as you pinch the buds into stiff peaks. A high-pitched moan escapes him, his hips bucking up instinctively.
"Ahโ"
You lean down and flick your tongue over one nipple, his small, wrecked noises egging you on further. His hips grind up against you harder, his hands dragging you down harder onto the rigid length straining against his sweats. He's so responsive, every touch pulling another desperate sound from his throat.
But you have other plans.
You pull away off his chest and grab his wrists, prying his hands from your hips and pressing them into the mattress forcefully above his head. He blinks up at you, dazed and confused, his chest heaving.
"I don't want you to do anything," you purr. "Don't want you to tire yourself out any more than you already are. Just lay there take what I give you. Can you do that for me?"
He's nodding before you even finish the sentence, head bobbing frantically against the pillow.
"Good boy."
His wrists go limp in your grip and you carefully release them, smiling satisfactorily when they stay right where you left them, fingers curling loosely into fists.
You sit back, letting him watch as you slide your hands up your stomach to cup your breasts. You knead them slowly, fingers pinching your nipples as his eyes remain glued to you, dark and glassy with want.
You start to move, rolling your hips in a slow grind against his clothed cock that causes you both to gasp in tandem. You repeat the action until you find a steady rhythm.
Gunwoo's jaw hangs open, his gaze heated and awestruck as he watches you move above him. His tongue looks so pink and inviting, resting just behind his teeth, that you can't resist and you slip your thumb between his parted lips.
His lips close amd suck without thought, his tongue curling around it, desperate to feel as much of you as possible. You press down gently, massaging the wet heat until heโs bobbing his head and drool is leaking from the corner of his lips.
"Think of this as a little incentive," you say, your voice taking on a teasing edge. "If you win your match... I'll reward you. But if you lose..."
You laugh softly, shaking your head when you see the way his eyes roll back at the warning.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Might even lose on purpose just to get punished."
The way he avoids your eyes tells you everything you need to know.
"But for now," you continue, pulling your thumb from his mouth with a wet pop, "this is all you get."
You climb off him just long enough to shimmy out of your shorts and underwear, kicking them off the edge of the bed. Then your fingers hook into the waistband of his sweats, and you tug them down just enough to free his cock.
If his face wasn't so pretty his cock would take the cakeโflushed a bright red and leaking, curving up and pulsing on his stomach, so hard and impatient for you. You swing a leg back over his hips and slowly sink down, positioning him so his length is buried between your slick folds. He lifts his head to watch, propping himself up on his elbows, his eyes almost closing as your wetness coats every inch of him.
The first drag of your hips has both of you groaning. You slide along his shaft, your slick folds hugging the ridge of his tip before gliding back down to the base. The sensation is maddeningโso close to what you both really want, but not quite there.
He falls back against the mattress with a shattered gasp, arms splayed out to the sides, completely surrendered.
You reach down and wrap your hand around his throatโsqueezing just enough to draw his attention and his eyes fly open, meeting yours as you continue to grind against him.
"Do you feel good?"
"Yes," he manages through the fog in his brain. "Thank youโthank youโ"
He can barely look at you. Every time his gaze drops to where your bodies meetโwhere his cock slides through your wetness and where your tits bounce with every roll of your hipsโhis face flushes darker and his eyes skitter away. It was cute, how he still got so embarrassed and shy even after seeing you naked hundreds of times. You grab his chin and force him to look at you.
"I can feel how close you are." You tighten your grip slightly, feeling him throb between your folds. "Are you gonna come? Want me to milk your cock?"
He doesn't answer. His mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes outโtoo fucked out, too overwhelmed to form words.
You slow your hips and lift them until you're only grazing each other.
"Or do you not want to?"
"No!" He gasps hurriedly, his hands fly up but stop short of touching you, hovering in the air when he remembers at the last second that he's supposed to be still. "No, pleaseโI wanna come, I wanna come so badโplease let me, pleaseโ"
You smirk as he begs for exactly what you wanted to hear.
You brace your hands on his abs, nails scratching lightly down the defined muscle as you pick up the pace. You grind on him harder, faster, chasing his pleasure until his back is bowing off the bed.
He lets out a strangled cry as his orgasm slams into him, and you watch in fascination as his cum spurts out from his tipโthick ropes painting his skin white all the way up to his chest. You keep grinding, keep milking him through every pulse, drawing out every last drop until he's trembling beneath you.
You're always impressed by how much cum heโs able to let out. Always surprised by how beautiful he looks when he does.
When the last tremor subsides, you don't stop. You're still chasing your own high with his cum-slick cock still nestled perfectly between your folds. When nothing else leaks from his tip, his hands shoot to your waist, trying to still you as the pleasure fades to pain from the overstimulation.
You take his hands in yours and pull them away, interlacing your fingers as you pin them back to the mattress on either side of his head. He writhes beneath you and whimpers helplessly, but he doesn't try to pull away.
You angle your hips just right, finding the perfect position for your clit to grind directly against the silky skin of his shaft. The pressure builds quickly with him babbling uselessly in your ear, and when it finally breaks, your back arches and your body finally stills.
You collapse forward onto his chest, your pussy still hovering right on his tip, your body trembling with the aftershocks of pleasure.
His hands, now free, guide you forward until your dripping folds settle on his abs instead, apologizing softly when you whine at the loss of contact.
You gather the strength to push back upright, straddling his stomach now. The mess on his chest smears against your stomach and breast as you look down at the state of you both marked with his cum, smiling at the red scratches your nails left behind on his abs that will still be visible during his match.
You smirk, tracing one of the scratches with your fingertip.
"How about I run a bath for us?" you ask. "Hm?"
He nods, boneless and utterly spent beneath you, eyes half-lidded and still looking at you like you're the most incredible thing he's ever seen.
You lean down to press a soft kiss to his forehead before climbing off him, already planning how you'll take care of him in the bath too.
genre: established relationship, little plot, full smut.
wc: 7k
warnings: explicit sex content, it happens between season 1 and season 2, reader is insecure about herself because of past experiences, soft dom!woo-jin, nipple play, hickeys, praise kink, oral sex (receiving), fingering, missionary, VANILLA , unprotected sex.
synopsis: After a lifetime of feeling invisible or "too boring" in bed, you find yourself with Hong Woo-jinโa boxer whose brutal past conceals an almost painfully gentle patience. And as you sleep with him, for the first time in your life, you aren't asked to perform. Just to feel.
a/n: Divider made by @saradika-graphics This took like my whole life but i'm glad with the result. I think this turned out my best smut so far and I just want to keep getting better. Thank you for so much for the request :))
taglist: shamidreamer liliesonthego (dedicated to you twin) jdatgirlyallwant vampirekatt lilylily123 swan07
Woo-jin only kissed you a month after your relationship started.
From an outside perspective โ from someone keeping track of the trainer's past life โ that attitude seemed strange, almost too gentlemanly. Not that he didn't know how to behave around women, but given his intense personality, love was treated no differently. He was someone who dove headfirst, someone who gave himself completely. Even on the nights he spent with women for just one night, Woo-jin would move mountains to make that night unforgettable.
So when he found out about your shyness and the extreme insecurity caused by that and your past relationships, he felt more than obligated โ he wanted to give his whole heart, just in a different way this time. Instead of rushing, he would go as slow as possible, even if sometimes all he wanted was to cover your face with kisses, even if he wanted to jokingly propose to you at least three times a week.
Woo-jin still remembered perfectly the first time you allowed him to get close. In his eyes, you were even a little bold โ especially given how withdrawn you usually were.
You were on a date at an aquarium, and your eyes sparkled with every step you took inside. You'd always had a deep fondness for fish, the ocean, the water. Even your belongings often had an underwater theme. So what could be better than a clichรฉ aquarium date? Woo-jin had suggested it, thinking you'd like it, but he obviously hadn't expected things to go as well as they did.
The trainer, out of habit, almost touched your back a few times, wanting to guide you through the exhibits, but he bravely fought the urge the entire way. The desire to have you in his arms โ even in a public place โ was almost impossible to contain. But every time he remembered the night he confessed to you and how you initially rejected him, listing all the bad experiences you'd had with men, that was enough motivation for him to take a deep breath and fight against his own body. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he couldn't have the same patience, that it would all become a vicious cycle โ or worse than all of that: that you'd regret saying yes to the idea of the two of you.
The memorable experience happened when you stopped in front of a small display. Woo-jin looked a bit confused, because there seemed to be nothing inside except the pretty decoration, but you were smiling. He didn't even have time to ask before you carefully pointed โ not touching the glass โ at the seahorses.
"Oh," Woo-jin finally noticed them. They were tiny and hid well among the plants, but once you spotted them, they were truly majestic creatures.
He looked to the side, and you seemed more excited than usual. Briefly, the boxer remembered seeing you with a seahorse key chain attached to something somewhere, so they probably held special meaning for you.
With his hands in his jacket pockets, he commented in a low tone, just for you to hear. "They remind me of you."
Your eyes broke away from the animals for a moment, unable to resist the curiosity โ not just about the soft tone of your boyfriend's voice, but his words โ but you didn't say anything, letting him continue.
"They... uh... they stay hidden, but they're really pretty when they come out." For a moment โ a very unusual moment โ Woo-jin felt unconfident, like he was being an idiot just for trying to compliment you by comparing you to a fish. Do normal people flirt like this? "Just like you."
Your eyes didn't leave your boyfriend's, and he felt his face burn with embarrassment. He'd said things a thousand times bolder in his life โ to strangers and girlfriends alike. He'd said sweet things, cheesy things, and things way too dirty to even think about. But still, your gaze was enough to undo him.
"That was weird, wasn't it? Comparing you to a fish..." He started to laugh nervously, but stopped instantly when he felt your soft hand pull his down, pulling his body down toward yours.
Woo-jin felt as light as a feather โ ridiculous next to your touch, no matter how weakly you'd touched him โ so he leaned closer to your face. The boxer expected you just wanted him closer so you could say something โ something the people around you wouldn't hear. But no.
Your lips collided with his for a brief few seconds.
Your boyfriend's eyes widened, and he felt his own knees about to give out. He brought a hand to his mouth, dumbfounded. It wasn't even a real kiss โ just a peck. But it was yours.
[...]
Almost a year had passed since that event.
"Are you sure?"
That memory of the kiss immediately came back to the Woo-jin's mind when you finally said you were ready for the subject of sex. You'd been together for months, and he had never dared to start anything you didn't show interest in. The most that had happened was his hand sliding up inside your blouse, just touching your bare skin as you kissed, but when he felt you tremble in his arms, he stopped immediately โ almost as if his hand had been burned. That day, the boxer could have maybe explored further, sure. But was that what you wanted?
You were both in your room. You lived alone, so privacy wasn't an issue. It wasn't about privacy, or about him desiring you, or even about your own fear. It was about you feeling comfortable. And honestly, Woo-jin would have been fine if you changed your mind right that second. Deep down, maybe he even wanted you to back out โ because you weren't just anyone. You were too precious. Woo-jin panicked just thinking about making any kind of mistake.
You nodded quite confidently.
You weren't a virgin anymore, so the act itself didn't bother you, but over the various times, there had been complaints โ and it was about those complaintsโฆ It was about not pleasing Woo-jin that bothered you.
"Really sure?"
You furrowed your brow, showing a hint of irritation now.
"Oppa, you're not taking my virginity or anything. You know that, right?"
"Of course I know. I haven't forgotten anything you told me." He answered with conviction, almost in that silly tone he used when reminiscing about his days as a marine.
"Then what is it?"
"I'm nervous."
I'm nervous.
Your heart tightened along with those words. So, you weren't the only one with expectations about this. He was just as thoughtful. And when you thought about your boyfriend and his impulsive personality, that meant a lot. You affected him in a way you couldn't even imagine. Your shyness about touch left him weak, dumbfounded that you would even consider sleeping with him. He was rough โ rough as boxing demanded โ but when he looked at you, he wanted to throw all that brutality down the drain.
You gave him a smile.
"So there is something in the world that makes you nervous."
"Everything about you makes me nervous."
You felt your whole body shiver, and he hadn't even laid a finger on you yet. Your shyness โ which had gradually faded over the months of first friendship and then dating โ seemed to have all come rushing back at once, hitting you like a speeding truck.
You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. How could this man be so perfect? He'd been completely transparent about his slightly playboy past, but at the same time, none of that seemed real when he said those things to you. And with that gaze so melted just by your existence.
"You know about the complaints."
"I don't care." He was quick to say, almost cutting off your words.
"Just promise to tell me if you don't like it. I just wantโฆ honesty. Even ifโฆ" You closed your eyes and could almost relive the comments, the disappointed looks from your exes. It was so painful that the rest of your speech died out.
Then you felt Woo-jin's strong arms wrap around you.
He was hugging you. Holding you.
"I promise to be honest. But I doubt I'll be disappointed in you. I'm already way too crazy about you to back out now."
So, you hugged him back, letting your hands climb up his back and lightly tug at his jacket. You were ready. You wanted him now, before your courage ran out.
Woo-jin noticed your initiative and pulled back slightly to look at your face. Your eyes were considerably large and bright, acting like Cupid's arrow aimed straight at his heart. While holding your chin with all the care in the world, with all the gentleness he could muster, your boyfriend finally pressed his lips to yours.
The kiss was sweet, slow, tender. He knew better than to rush you. That wouldn't get you anywhere. That had been the mistake of everyone before him: crossing your limit before you were ready to give in.
At first, it started as a long peck with both of you sitting on the bed. One of Woo-jin's hands was anchored affectionately on your back, pulling you close โ as close as you would allow. He paused the kiss countless times just to observe your reactions and change his target spots: kissing your forehead, your cheeks, your nose. It was as if time didn't matter. It was as if the time he'd gone without sex didn't matter. And truly, it didn't.
Because he wanted you well and confident with yourself.
"You can really kiss me," you murmured. He was still holding your chin, not daring to hurt you. Woo-jin would rather cut off his own hand than make you even slightly uncomfortable.
The trainer then leaned closer to you and this time kissed you with intent.
You felt his tongue asking permission to spar with yours, to dance with yours. So you reciprocated, grabbing the back of his neck. Your hand pulled him closer with longing โ longing for something you hadn't yet experienced. You felt him add a little more pressure to your chin โ just a bit more, but still with extreme care โ after all, he had far more strength than that. Woo-jin had enough strength to tear you apart, but he only wanted to fill you with adoration.
Tooth met tooth, lip met lip. Woo-jin was growing more and more determined to show you love. Your tongues intertwined, and slowly he laid you down on the bed, being careful not to let his weight suffocate you. Though the boxer wasn't heavy, he was still a large mass of muscle, so he braced himself on his elbows so he wouldn't crush you.
Woo-jin only stopped kissing you when you were both out of breath, and he stared at you, still on top of you. Even though you were wearing worn-out sweatpants and a shirt that clearly wasn't your size, in his eyes, you were the sexiest creature in the universe.
You let out a small laugh.
"What?" the boxer asked, appearing to come back to himself rather than just blankly staring at you.
"You were totally spacing out. I called you like twice."
"You did? I really didn't hear you."
"You seem more nervous than I am," you concluded, stopping your laughter. Your heart felt like it was going to explode, especially under the boxer's intense gaze. It was as if he was already devouring you, but only with his eyes. "And I'm prettyโฆ prettyโฆ nervous."
"I just don't want to screw up."
"Leave the screwing up to me."
This time, it was his turn to laugh.
"Stop that." Woo-jin whispered as he started to take off his own clothes, which were already starting to make him sweat from how hot he felt just imagining the idea of rubbing his skin against yours.
It was such a mundane thing, but watching Woo-jin take off his jacket had never seemed so sensual. You'd witnessed that act countless times before, yet none of those times had it ever seemed so attractive or suggestive. You didn't know if it was because he was on top of you, or because the two of you had agreed to finally venture into the territory of sex.
He let the garment fall off the bed, not too concerned about whether it would make a mess. Neither of you really was.
Underneath the jacket, Woo-jin โ ironically โ was wearing a white tank top, which didn't make much sense given he'd had a jacket on over it, but you knew that was beyond practicality: your boyfriend had his own sense of style, and his combinations didn't always make a lot of sense.
Your gaze couldn't help but notice his strong arms, now exposed. You'd seen them many times before as he trained, but the sight never failed to leave you breathless. Because of your shyness, you hadn't allowed yourself to feel them โ just contented yourself with watching. Sweaty. In action.
"Jagiya?"
"Hm?" You blinked several times, realizing Woo-jin had called you. For a while, you'd just been fixated on his biceps, triceps โ everything about those arms.
"Now it's you who was spacing out." He gave a sly smile, making you blush. You tried to look away from your object of interest, but your boyfriend was far from stupid about these things. "Is it my arms? Do you want to touch them?"
Do you want to touch them?
The first obstacle of the night was already there: daring to touch your boyfriend in a completely sexual way, finally breaking your curiosity about what it would be like to have that flesh between your fingers. It wasn't for lack of desire, but the idea of touching someone that way always made you nervous. You almost always froze up, anxious about the next step โ and guys hated your paralysis in the face of intimacy.
They hated your shyness, how you went quiet, how you treated the process as if it were something scary, even though you tried your best to please them until the end. Even though, many times, you didn't even come, you said nothing because you didn't have the words to express your dissatisfaction โ and honestly, you didn't even know if you deserved to express any dissatisfaction. After all, you were boring in bed, weren't you?
"I also wantโฆ for you to touch them."ย Woo-jin murmured, sliding his hand along one of your temples, stroking a strand of your hair.ย "Touch me? I want to know what it's like when it's you doing it."
It was as if the boxer could get inside your mind, as if he knew exactly what to say.
You nodded with a confidence that wasn't truly yours. It came from the love Woo-jin had for you and from all the honesty and transparency he had shown throughout all this time.
Your hands then slid up to the strong arms in front of you, and just by touching his skin, you felt Woo-jin tremble between your fingers โ almost as if your touch had the power to dissolve him. Your eyes widened. Even though your touch was timid, it had still drawn a reaction from the man above you.
His body writhed as if he had just discovered a new sensation. It wasn't as if you'd never pulled him by the arm before, but now, you were doing it with intention. You wanted to know every centimeter of his skin, even with the limitation that the world had somehow made you impose upon yourself.
With his eyes fixed on you, Woo-jin stood like a statue, respecting your process.
Then you moved, squeezing every muscle, your eyes shining as you explored his skin, molding it against your fingers. The flesh was hard, but it also had a perfectly soft texture. You almost felt tempted to bite it, wanting to engrave that sensation against your teeth.
"I've always wanted you to squeeze me like that," Woo-jin admitted, half-dazed as your hands felt the result of his effort at the gym. "Of course I wasn't going to ask, butโฆ"
"Why not?" Your eyes searched for his, which didn't leave yours.
"You're shy about it, aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"Then I wasn't going to rush you with that," he said, shrugging in a totally logical explanation.
Oh. So this was the feeling of having a voice in a sexual relationship.
Woo-jin noticed immediately that something in you had clicked, just from your subtle facial change.
"Jagiya?"
"Take off your tank top for me, please?" You asked, still with some insecurity, but there was something there beyond wanting to please him. You felt seen and respected by him. Yes, you were shy, not very vocal, and reserved โ but he made you want to let go a little more. Woo-jin made you actually want to experiment with yourself.
The boxer just nodded, getting off you for a moment only to strip off the white shirt. You now had a view of his entire upper body. The perfect structural body, only disfigured by some scars on his stomach area. The sight hurt you โ not because you found them ugly, but because it reminded you of how those wounds had nearly cost him his life.
You didn't even think. Your hand just touched the region that had been brutally stabbed. It wasn't sexual, even though the moment had that kind of undertone. You just wanted to feel how alive he was beneath your hand, beneath your skin.
You opened a small, silly smile, feeling the ridges of his abs against your hand and tracing each scar slowly with your fingers.
"What is it?"ย Woo-jin smiled back, not even really knowing what the two of you were smiling about.
"I justโฆ I'm glad you waited for me. I don't just mean time-wiseโฆ but that you're here, alive right now. That I can try to touch someone again now. And that that someoneโฆ is you, you know?"ย You then lifted your gaze to his dark brown eyes. "It just feels right that it's you."ย
Your boyfriend didn't know if he should, but he honestly couldn't control the impulse to kiss you in that moment. Pulling you by the nape, he pressed his lips to yours again, pinning you gently against the bed, still trying to be careful not to crush you. He smiled between kisses, feeling just as โ or maybe even more โ happy than you.
It just feels right that it's you.
Even if the act ended there, he would have already won the night, the month, the year.
Woo-jin was acutely aware of your deep insecurity and how difficult it must have been for you to desire him for so many months without feeling confident enough to act on it.
"Can I touch you?" He asked in a low tone, almost purring against your lips. "Your breasts. Over your shirt."
You laughed. There was no way he had a playboy past like he'd said. You couldn't believe it.
"You can touch underneath, Woo-jin-ah."
The boxer's eyes widened briefly, but he didn't waste much time lost in his own surprise, nodding quickly.
Calmly, he slipped one of his hands under your blouse while the other remained braced so his body wouldn't suffocate yours. His fingers moved up slowly, testing the terrain. They lingered a bit on your stomach, tracking how your breathing changed slightly just from that brief touch on that area โ just like had happened before. Woo-jin felt hesitant, unsure if it was okay to continue, but you looked at him with confidence, so he moved his hand higher and higher until he stopped with it over one of your breasts, still covered by your bra.
The boxer didn't dare squeeze it yet, just studying your reaction.
Your face was red, but you didn't seem uncomfortable. Inside, you were more nervous than anything else because this was where it usually all started: you'd shut down from the anxiety of making noise, of being a person bothered by your own reactions. But when he carefully squeezed your breast, your body didn't hold back this time, and you let out a brief moan. It had escaped your usually controlling grip, and it was enough to make Woo-jin's heart beat hard, unhinged.
He noticed from your expression that you hadn't liked moaning so openly like that โ that you felt dirty somehow.
"Keep going. I want to hear it." The boxer leaned close to your ear. "But if you don't want to, that's fine too. I've heard it once โ I think I've got it memorized."
"Memorized?"
"Yeahโฆ It's engraved right here in my heart, jagi."
You couldn't help but laugh at how he tried to ease the situation in every possible way. He was really putting in the effort, but not in an uncomfortable way. Your boyfriend genuinely wanted to make you happy. So you wanted to reciprocate, gently pushing him back a little. Woo-jin looked at you confused, but then you took off your blouse, and his face turned completely red โ he had never seen you with so little clothing before. At least, during this relationship, for some reason, you hadn't gone to any sauna or pool where he could have seen you like this.
You then opened your arms to him, as if calling him over, and without a second thought, he threw himself between them โ this time without holding back, showering your neck, collarbones, and any piece of skin he could find with quick kisses. His attack didn't feel purely sexual: Woo-jin was just adoring every little part of you while hugging your waist tightly, his face buried between your breasts as if he had been waiting a lifetime to be there.
Resting his chin against your chest, he looked at you briefly, as if waiting for something. It was funny. He treated you with more gentleness than your first boyfriend, than the one who took your virginity even knowing how scared you had been that night.
"Do you want somethingโฆ?" You tilted your head slightly in response to his gaze.
"I've never triedโฆ leaving marks on you. I don't know if you care about that kind of thing. I meanโฆ I don't know anything about your preferences, so that's why I'm asking."
Your breathing hitched again. How could he do that with just words?
"What is it? Did I say something wrong?"
"No. It's just that people don't usually ask me anything."
Woo-jin felt angry, clicking his tongue, but he chose not to show it openly, instead transforming his feelings into a proud statement. "And that's exactly why you're with me and not with those pieces of shit."
You smiled, seeing how irritated he had gotten, even while trying not to show it. "You can leave marks."
"I really can?"
You just nodded โ and not even a second passed before Woo-jin attacked your neck, alternating between a long hickey and a light little bite. You squirmed beneath him, sighing at the feeling of belonging, your hands climbing up his back. At no point did he take his eyes off your face, even though your reactions were subtle, the boxer wasn't willing to miss anything.
The trail of marks went down until he stopped at the barrier of your bra. Out of breath, your boyfriend looked at you, looked at the garment, and then looked at you again. You nodded in silence, and with efficiency, he got rid of it.
The sight of your breasts left Woo-jin breathless โ regardless of what you thought of them, regardless of any tiny insecurity you had about them. He bit his lower lip, restraining himself from attacking you right at that moment because, honestly, that was what he wanted most in the face of the feast laid out before him. But instead, he hid his face in the valley between your breasts.
"Oppa?"
"Fuck, I'm way too luckyโฆ" He murmured against your breasts, and the muffled sound of his voice made you laugh, one of your hands coming up to stroke his hair. "I don't even know where to start."
"Normally, no one asks me before doing it, butโฆ I like it when they squeezeโฆ" Your voice could barely come out, you were so embarrassed. "M-my nipples."
The boxer lifted his face so fast it startled you, and he nodded countless times as if he had received an order rather than a suggestion. His fingers then worked on both sides, squeezing your nipples until they grew hard between his fingers. Sometimes he teased you by tugging on them to give you a little bit of pain โ but the kind you found pleasurable. Your hips moved in response to each small manipulation of his, and he felt he was on the right track.
Like a man possessed by your small signs of satisfaction, Woo-jin stopped merely playing with your nipples and instead took one into his mouth while his other hand massaged your other breast in slow, circular motions. He wasn't in a hurry. In fact, he wanted to savor all of this until he couldn't think of anything else.
The saliva and warm tongue worked wonders on your already sensitive nipple, and soon he switched to the other. It was inevitable โ you squirmed beneath him, pushing your hips upward, rubbing them against his abdomen, drawing a grunt from your boyfriend. You might not be very vocal, but you were considerably sensitive under his attention.
Woo-jin got a little bolder because deep down he knew he could, and he truly hoped you wouldn't mind โ so he left hickeys on your breasts. You closed your eyes, letting yourself get lost in the sensation of his hands gripping your waist, anchoring you in place every time he bit down and left small purplish marks.
"A-Ahโฆ" The moan escaped as your head fell back into the pillow, and again your hips fought against his strong hands, trying to move, but he held firm, keeping you in place. The grinding of your hips against his abdomen drove him crazy for more, but having you slowly come undone in his arms was a far greater feeling than just chasing momentary pleasure.
Woo-jin just smiled, satisfied to see you gradually letting go during the process.
"Those motherfuckers were crazy. You make me hard just by looking at you."
And indeed, he was very, very hard.
You still seemed a little hesitant about whether you were really pleasing him โ after all, he seemed to be putting in more effort with you than you were with him. But Woo-jin wasn't foolish: he noticed your uncertainty. And then, in an impulsive act, he pulled one of your hands down and placed it over his sweatpants, where you could already feel a bulge. Your eyes widened instantly.
So it really was true.
There really was someone attracted to you just the way you were.
"Do you believe in me now?" He asked, a little out of breath, still holding your hand against his hardness.
"But I'm not even doing anything."
"You don't have to. You've never heard of guys who get turned on just by pleasing their girlfriend?"
You really had never heard of that, so you shook your head no.
"What the fuck, jagiya! What kind of guys were those that you dated?"
You just smiled and answered. "Definitely not you."
"Of course they weren't." He smiled back, his eyes radiating confidence yet also relaxed.ย The way he looked at you was warm, and again he touched your hair, this time tucking a strand behind your ear. "Listenโฆ Tonight, I don't want you to think about doing anything for me, okay? I'm satisfied with how things are." His touch was gentle, slow. "Don't think about anything. Just let me enjoy you."
"Are you sure?"
Woo-jin just nodded, moving from kissing between your breasts to daring to go a little further down your skin, leaving a slow trail of wet kisses down to your belly button. You couldn't help but squirm, and he kept holding you in place with a satisfied smile.
The trainer's gaze on you was intense, and his warm tongue went lower and lower until it stopped at the waistband of your time-worn sweatpants. The waistband was even a little loose. He paused, taking a deep breath between your legs.
"Has anyone ever really eaten you out?"
You knew exactly that this was his intention as soon as he told you not to do anything, as soon as he started trailing kisses downward, as soon as his face stopped above your lower belly โ but still, the question spoken out loud shook you for a few seconds. Your lack of an answer was all Woo-jin needed to know. So slowly, he began to pull down your sweatpants, with no rush at all, even though inwardly he had been desperate to taste your pussy for months. He couldn't deny he was a major pervert.
You were finally down to just your panties, and a small wet spot was clearly visible on your underwear. The trainer just licked his lips as if he were facing a delicious meal and hadn't eaten for days.
"Excuse me." Your boyfriend murmured in a slightly teasing tone, his fingers now delicately pulling your panties down, removing them from your body entirely with slowness. Everything was about the process. It was almost painfully good.
Woo-jin pulled you a little closer, placing your legs over his shoulders and opening you up a bit more, putting you in a very vulnerable position. Your heart squeezed so hard it felt like it would leap out of your mouth. And again, the man on top of you noticed immediately. Either he was very experienced at picking up on nuances during sex, or he was just very good at picking up on your nuances.
"I'll stop now if it's too much." His hands loosened slightly on your legs, but still held you in place.
You just took a deep breath.
"It's not too much."
"Then I'm going to change that." The trainer smiled at you, and before you could say anything, his face descended between your legs.
First, Woo-jin just blew air against your pussy, and your whole body trembled, drawing a small laugh from him at how sensitive you were, at how willing you were to his desires. He looked at you playfully, seeing that you were staring back at him, then he rubbed his nose against your thigh, savoring the moment. Your hips moved upward, so he tightened his hands around your legs again.
You had never felt so flustered under a man's silent gaze, but your boyfriend's intense brown eyes did wonders on you.
When he flashed that wide smile you knew so well, you just closed your eyes and felt his face bury itself in you. His tongue slid slowly over your pussy as if he were tasting a popsicle of a new flavor for the first time. He was smiling as he did it, eating you not just with his mouth, but with his eyes as well.
You were already trembling even with so little, and then he pushed his tongue inside your hole without a second thought.
"Woo-jin-ah!" Your hips bucked against his face โ more specifically against his nose โ and he sighed contentedly, his hands gripping you even tighter, pulling you closer.
His tongue moved in circles inside you, his mouth moving up and down as he sought to stimulate your clitoris with just the tip of his nose. When he found it, you let out a loud sigh, relieved to finally have that bundle of nerves stimulated.
The boxer pulled back a little, a strand of saliva connecting your pussy to his lips.
"You're so pretty."
You watched him calmly in the light of the bedside lamp โ the only source of light in the room โ and for some reason you didn't understand, his cheeks were flushed. You didn't get his shyness. After all, seconds ago, he had been doing something extremely sensual with no discomfort at all.
"I really am so lucky."
Then your boyfriend put his tongue back in the right places, sucking you slowly โ perhaps even too slowly โ and with every shiver, every moan, every movement you made, he felt his cock grow harder and more impatient. But it still wasn't time. He wanted to make you come, and he was almost certain your ex-boyfriends rarely made sure of that.
Without any warning, he pushed a finger inside you and curled it until he reached a spot you had never felt before. You didn't know if his finger was longer than your previous partners' or if he simply knew what he was doing, but your eyes rolled back in pleasure. Slowly, he moved his finger in and out, smiling at your reaction.
Then came the second finger.
And your legs clamped around his cheeks.
Woo-jin played with his fingers, making slow scissoring motions inside your pussy โ always, always slow. It was almost sadistic. But such a loving sadist that you didn't mind. You didn't mind how he played with you, how he gave and took away what you wanted. Your legs just trembled like never before.
His fingers and tongue danced in harmony.
Until you came. Came hard.
You let out something close to a scream and thanked the universe that your apartment walls weren't thin. But the boxer didn't stop immediately. He kept delighting in your pussy while you were still short-circuiting โ but it was all premeditated, because he knew that was exactly when you were most sensitive.
Satisfied with your reaction after you reached your peak, Woo-jin slowly lowered your legs and rested his face against one of your thighs. It was affectionate. The man just wanted to admire how you were breathing fast and how your face was all sweaty.
"Are you good?''
You nodded slowly, your gaze a little lost.
Woo-jin leaned close to your face and kissed the corner of your mouth.
"Can you go all the way?"
And again, he was considerate. Considerate of your time, of your needs, of everything about you.
You didn't know exactly when, but at some point, your eyes just filled with water as you looked at the man above you. The boxer pulled back slightly, surprised by your emotional gaze. He hadn't done anything wrong, had he?
Before he could voice any insecurity, you nodded again โ but this time, with confidence. The trainer still looked at you, a little worried, but you held his face with both hands, trying to bring comfort to the man above you, just as he had reassured you the entire time.
"I'm fine. I'm justโฆ happy."ย ย His mouth opened slightly as if to say something, but seeing that you weren't finished, Woo-jin fell silent again, giving you his full attention for whatever you wanted to say.ย "I think this is the first time I haven't felt judged while having sex. That's stupid, right?"ย You finished, trying not to cry even though you wanted to, overwhelmed by an excessive dose of emotions.
Woo-jin saw how hard you were trying to smile, and he felt his own heart shatter into a million pieces. It had been so satisfying for him to bring you pleasure in this way that he couldn't comprehend how your past partners had had the courage to be so dismissive of your shyness and uncertainty. He then placed one of his hands over yours, which was touching his cheek, and brought it to his lips, leaving a soft kiss.
Slowly, the trainer shook his head.
"It's not stupid."ย ย He left another kiss on your hand.ย "You can cry. It's okay.''
And so, little by little, you fell apart in front of him. Your eyes could no longer hold back so many years of neglect, so many years of feeling insignificant, so many years of feeling uncomfortable for not wanting to be more extreme in bed or even for expressing affection in public. It was as if everything came at once. All you had ever really wanted was a little understanding. Yet, as you cried and Woo-jin's expression didn't change at all, you realized you had never asked for much โ and when you were almost out of hope, you had found the right person.
Oh, you had been an idiot for settling for less so many times.
The trainer moved a little closer above you and this time hugged you around the neck, bringing your face to rest against his shoulder as the tears kept falling.
The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes. In silence. Just him stroking your hair so slowly it seemed like something out of a dream. Until you finally found the strength to actually look at him. Your eyes were swollen from crying, but in your boyfriend's eyes, your vulnerability had never looked so beautiful.
"I'm ready," you whispered, drawing a satisfied expression from him. It was almost a little possessive, but he just wanted you โ unprotected, naked, raw โ only for him. Maybe he really was more of a pervert than he thought.
"Do you want to help me? I mean, can you?" He murmured, glancing down at his own jeans and then back at you. If you said no, he would have continued the same way.
You didn't even answer โ not from shyness, but because you were already too surrendered to that man to back away, to let him keep making all the effort. Your hand went down, almost confidently, but he could still sense your insecurity, so he pulled your wrist.
Slowly, the two of you began to undo the buttons of his pants together until Woo-jin kicked them off his body with some impatience โ honestly, expected by now โ leaving him in just his boxers with a far-from-subtle bulge. Your boyfriend had waited too long, waited for you until now, yet he hadn't complained even once.
The dark blue boxers already showed a darker spot: where his pre-cum had been slowly pooling all this time. And you noticed that his breathing had changed โ as if showing his arousal for you had finally given him the release he had been needing all along. But still, Woo-jin held back with you, simply to not thrust himself between your legs. Maybe he was a little too self-disciplined. Maybe it was a remnant from the Marines?
With his hands on his knees, he stayed watching you, waiting for some sign at any moment. But then you just laughed.
"What's wrong? Can't you come over?" You teased, and he didn't even need two seconds to come to you. The bulge still contained in his boxers rubbed unintentionally against your overstimulated pussy, and you both let out a moan.
You had never heard a moan as beautiful as Woo-jin's. And it made your heart beat faster. He noticed the reaction he had caused in you and acted immediately, rubbing this time with intention against your sensitive pussy.
"Oppaโฆ"
"Jagiya?" The trainer smiled at you, not stopping his grinding. He wanted you to say the words โ not to humiliate you, but because he knew you could do it now.
"Please." But the man stayed above you. He paused the movement of his hips and looked at you as if asking for a little more. "Put it in."
Woo-jin studied you for a few seconds, wanting to be completely sure that you wouldn't change your mind, that you were okay, and that he could really get closer. You just placed one of your hands on his arm and squeezed, as if sending a silent request.
With the lightness of a feather, you stole all the air from this man, and he, flustered, pulled off his own boxers, not caring where the garment would land.
Now you were both naked, one on top of the other. Woo-jin looked at you with his shoulders resting beside your head, already breathing heavily and sweating. You could feel his cock trembling against your leg, which gave you even more chills. He was at his limit, and you understood perfectly.
So you just nodded again, and that was enough for Woo-jin to stop fighting his own instincts. He rubbed his cock against the outer lips of your wet pussy a few times before finally starting to push in slowly, letting out a satisfied sound when he was finally buried all the way inside you.
"Fuckโฆ" Your boyfriend grunted, feeling how your pussy squeezed him in small spasms. He hadn't even started moving yet, and you were already swallowing him with so much desire that he felt like he was delirious. "Fuck, I can't take it, I need to move. Sorry for this later!"
And then, the former marine you had fallen for simply brought his usual intensity: moving his hips in abrupt thrusts against yours, focusing on hitting the right spots.
You grabbed his back, unable to control your nails digging into his broad back, and with each scratch, he roared in satisfaction. More and more. He increased the strength, the rhythm. That was your Woo-jin โ the guy who didn't know when to stop.
Your old bed even creaked, but honestly, you couldn't bring yourself to care as you stared at him with half-lidded eyes. He looked at you intensely and fucked you intensely, too.
You closed your eyes, feeling your lower belly begin to tighten in a sensation too pleasurable to contain, forcing you to let out nonsensical words. Your arms pulled him closer, and he dragged you into a kiss, swallowing your moans, satisfied.
You don't know how long it lasted or even when you passed out; you only came to when you opened your eyes and felt yourself being covered by a sheet. Woo-jin was lying beside you, staring at you in silence, and said nothing until you finally turned to him.
"Iโฆ"
"You passed out. I overdid it a little, sorry." He apologized again, but you just let out a laugh.
"You're really weird. Apologizing for things like that."
"I'm not weird."
''But I like that you're weird." You confessed, sitting up in bed. Your legs were shaky, and your hips would hurt the next day. He looked at you with unavoidable curiosity. "I should have realized soonerโฆ that I prefer weird guys like you."
"Then I'll be the weirdest guy you've ever known."
"You already are."
You both laughed. Physically exhausted, emotionally full.
Summary: Sometimes protection looks like rescuing someone from a violent criminal, other times it looks like befriending someone who lingers just out of step with the social world around them. A tale of two high-school friends who find home would always be with each other.
A/N: Another entry in a saga of Bloodhounds x President Choi's daughter. There's a version with Hwang Yang Jung, Lee Du Yeong, and Kim Myeong Gil. Daughter!Reader could be biological, adopted, fostered, it doesn't matter as no details are provided.
Masterlist: Bloodhounds Collection
Moon Gwang Mu wasnโt necessarily tasked with protecting you. He joined as a rookie for President Choi, looking roughed up and stubbornly defiant. The old man had taken a glance at him, good-naturedly thumping his back before telling him he could come back to work for him after finishing school. He had bristled at the comment, feeling underestimated and rejected. But Choi Tae Ho had paid for his tuition, as well as arranged for a uniform that, unlike his previous one, had actually fit him.
The President had been genuinely pleased to see him in uniform, advising him to make the best of his youth since he had never gotten the opportunity to complete his own schooling. He had noticed the familiar badge on Gwang Muโs jacket, โMy daughter goes to the same school, it would be nice for her to make more friends.โ It might have just been an offhand remark, but Moon Gwang Mu took to it like a missionโ he was going to be the best fucking friend youโve ever had, he was going to look out for you and never let you be bullied or troubled, he was going to repay and prove himself to your dad.
If anybody were to ask you, Moon Gwang Mu wasnโt your friend, he was an underlingโ a sidekick, if he was lucky. He reported every morning to you, more disciplined than he ever was at the morning assembly. It was awkward and embarrassing, and totally cramping your style. There was nothing worse than being incessantly teased about dating some boy, and the constant hooting and hollering that followed. He was ruining your chances at a memorable teenage romance. And you didnโt even like him!
But no matter how much you dissuaded him, or even outright ignored him, he stayed committed to the bit. So, really, it meant you were forced into having an underling. You had him carry your bag, fetch your lunch, run errands, do your cleaning duties, even take the fall and subsequent punishments for you. You waited and waited, and waited some more for him to finally give up and quit following you around. It was uncomfortable to watch him be bossed around by you without any respect or dignityโ why was it taking so long for him to grow a spine?
He stuck out like a sore thumb. Always on the peripheries of cliques and friend groups. It wasnโt for the lack of trying, too. He was always the most loud, extroverted, over-the-top in any group project in class. He only received reluctant, faux chuckles before everyone turned to ignore him. It was truly too painful to watchโ the dead silence that followed his boisterous laugh at his own joke was enough to make you shiver with second-hand embarrassment.
That sort of vibe was akin to blood in shark infested waters. You were unsurprised to see him one day sporting a myriad of bruises and scrapes, his uniform rumpled, and his school bag open and emptied. It had nothing to do with you, and you shouldโve stayed out of it so he would finally understand that they would never be friends. His eyes had been watery with tears, his chin faintly trembling. But it was definitely those stupid, big cow eyes of his that were always solemn even when they twinkled at you for approval. He was like a little puppy, and which assholes would harm puppies?
Moon Gwang Mu knew you werenโt inherently a bad person, he had seen enough of true evil to recognise that you were simply distant and taciturn. He just hadnโt proven himself worthy of being your friend. He was touched, he might have even cried a little, when you had shoved your lunchbox at him after some bastards had stolen his money. He had fought them off until theyโd put a hand on his uniform in the scuffleโ a little money wasnโt worth ruining his new uniform. You had warned him to eat every single bite, โIt breaks my fatherโs heart when I come home with a half-empty lunchbox. He thinks itโs because he didnโt cook well.โ
He had eaten with relish and without any concern when you had assured him you had other lunch arrangements. It was the best meal heโd ever had. It was only after he had waited a while after school to return the empty lunchbox to you, that he discovered your โlunch arrangementsโ included shaking down the bullies for the lunch money they had stolen from him. He had watched awed, his heart fluttering with what had to be love, as you shoved one of their heads into the trash can.
Heโd applauded diligently and enthusiastically as you counted your loot, greedily eyeing the wad of cash in your hands. You hadnโt returned his money to him, pocketing the cash as you joined your friends to buy snacks. He had been sad to not be invited, lingering behind you and twiddling his thumbs in hopes you would reconsider. He tried to comfort himself as you walked away without a single glance back towards him, itโs not like he had the money for it, even if you did include him.
But the knot wringing his stomach loosened the very next day, all the sadness evaporating at the sight of another lunchboxโ the same design as yours but in a different colours. You firmly denied it being your plan, just that your father insisted on making him lunch too since he ate it so well the last time. He was ecstatic to share lunch with you, eagerly offering to do your homework as thanks. You had been skeptical, at first, and hadnโt handed over your homework until he insisted, prying the books out of your hands.
It was his fault entirely that you descended on him a few days later like a demon from hell, all screeching curses and claws for hands. He thought he had done well on the homework, except heโd completely flunked it and marred your stellar grades. Heโd obediently and solicitously apologised, vowing to work like a dog to make up for his sins.
It had been truly painful to repent, you had taken it upon yourself to personally tutor him. He would rather you just beat him up some more. But, instead, he was strapped into a chair like a man to be tortured while you stuffed calculus and literature down his throat. His grades had miraculously improved for how unwilling he had been to study, but it came at the cost of his crushed whimsy and freedom.
Turns out the secret to running off Moon Gwang Mu was a study session. He had practically sprinted away from you the moment exams had ended, establishing himself over the summer as an integral vertex of a trio of friends youโd dubbed โdumb, dumber and dumbestโ with each of its members competing for the prestigious position of โdumbestโ at any given time.
Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest had convinced themselves and each other that you were dating their very own Moon Gwang Mu. You had gifted him a Walkman for his birthday, along with cassettes of his favourite artists. How would you know Gwang Mu only listens to sad ballads and shed manly tears while staring out of the bus window, unless you were paying attention to him. You told him not to lose his player, clearly you were worried about it being snatched by those hooligans that took his lunch money! And they had tried to take it from him, but Gwang Mu had fought them off. However, when he had brandished the cassette player at you as some sort of trophy, you fussed over him and his injuriesโ it was true love!
He twisted and fidgeted on his seat in the school nurseโs office, nervously adjusting and folding his hands over his thighs or stomach to hide the growing tent in his pants that refused to stand down no matter how many unpleasant thoughts he forced into his brain because you were so close. He could peek at your cleavage, and the two soft, round curves of your boobs, over the buttons of your shirt as you leaned over to dab some ointment on his chin. He rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, determined to be a gentleman, while sweat trailed down his temple which stung as it caught on some dried blood and scratches. He hadnโt been able to contain the yelp and shudder when you had blown on the scrape on his cheek, shooting out of his seat in surprise and staring down at the adorable way your lips were still pulled into a pout. Fuck, were you about to kiss him and he blew it?
You handed him a box of milk and a piece of bread, which he had accepted with slightly sweaty hands noting that it was your favourite flavour. Heโd felt giddy and flustered that you would give him your favourite snacks. Whenever your father made your favourites for lunch, he would have to give up some of his share to you. Frankly, he would rather fight a dog for a bone than come between you and your food. So, you must really like him.
You didnโt like him. And if he ever shared his delusions, you would have laughed in his face. You had only given him the snacks because he seemed to be shaking, and you would be a monster to not care for a kicked puppy. โGood job.โ You proudly patted his shoulder, counselling him with all the dignified flair of a sage, โAlways remember, people can hit you. They can pull your hair. But they can never take your money. Why? Because money can always buy you more hair.โ
Money could also buy him a uniform. But you noticed he was quite attached to the one he owned. He washed it gently between his own two hands, rubbing the collar between his knuckles instead of using a hard brush. He had gone back to hit those boys a few more times when he noticed a few of his shirt buttons were sacrificed in their skirmish.
Moon Gwang Mu loved you, wholeheartedly, when you pulled a sewing kit out of thin air and sewed three mismatched buttons to his shirt. He adored the furrow of concentration in your brows and the way your lips puffed out when you were focused. He treasured those three buttons, they were his lucky charmโ in the future, he would even sew them onto his Marines formal uniform.
That love for you was obvious to anyone with eyes. Your fatherโs hand had itched to smack the little brat when heโd had slipped up and addressed him as he would a father-in-law. But Moon Gwang Muโs panicked, phony guffaws had been so funny that several people had to muffle or hide their snorts and snickering. Despite the boyโs floundering and your hardheadedness, you father knew that the both of you were meant to grow into something quite special to each other. However, the knowing didnโt help the exasperation and irritation as he watched you both constantly bicker around him over every little thing from how much salt is too much salt, to which side of the couch belonged to whom, along with the mad scramble for the remote if he came home with youโ leaving the old man to stumble over the shoes haphazardly strewn in the entryway.
According to Moon Gwang Mu, you were dating him. But you just werenโt aware of it yet. He didnโt know if you were just slow or dense or both. Once heโd been peacefully eating his ice cream on a park bench, you halfheartedly licking at yours as you stood over him, leaning precariously to the side since you made no effort to hide your ogling as one of your friends kissed a boy. Heโd made a noise of disgust, at first, thinking some bird had pooped on him until he realised the dollop on his forehead was cold instead of shit-warm. And then it was searing. Your lips pressed against his forehead, your mouth burning hot against his skin as your tongue licked off the melted ice cream over his brow. Followed by a lightening that shot from where your lips touched him straight down to his cock. Then it was cold, the wind felt freezing against the wet patch on his face where you had just licked himโ with your tongue!
You had scrunched your nose at him in disgust, โUgh. It tastes like your sweat.โ He had been too gobsmacked to finish his own ice cream that you had claimed your own after biting off your melted one. He had been lifeless and dazed as he shifted his schoolbag, wearing it on his front to cover his growing bulge. He was too shocked to complain and whine that the rack on your bicycle hurt his butt while you rode it roughshod over the bumps. He had sat behind you, clutching the sides of your shirt in astonished silence while you cycled them home. He was stunned. Heโd just experienced his first forehead kiss with his future wife, and sheโd used tongueโ all because of greed. What would they tell their kids? That their mother was a glutton?
The most hurtful realisation of Moon Gwang Muโs life was that you didnโt love him. It wasnโt that you didnโt have a romantic bone in your bodyโฆ But you drew hearts on someone elseโs coffee cup. You looked at someone else with stars in your eyes. It had felt worse than a punch to the gut. His stomach had tightened and burned; if he hadnโt left immediately, he was sure to have thrown up all over that college senior of yours. He had cried quietly into his pillows that night even though nobody could hear him in his empty apartment.
But he had been so embarrassed, hesitant to go back to work the next day out of fear that others would smell the stupidity off of him. All these years of feelings had been nothing but wishful thinking on his part. He wondered if everybody knew, and just didnโt bother to let him in on the joke. Worse, what if they knew and laughed at him for thinking you could ever love him.
Your paths had diverged after high school; you had gone off to college, and he had never applied. He chose to work for your dad as he had always planned. Your schedules and lives were so different, he had expected it to be difficult to still remain as close as before. However, he was so determined to support your dreams, happy to carve out time from work to visit you even if it meant he was napping beside you while you worked in the library.
The first pangs of unease and discomfort had slithered under his skin, banding across his chest to constrict his ribs, when he just couldnโt fit in with your friends. He didnโt much care for them other than hearing of them in your stories, and they in turn didnโt care for him. He was well aware he would never fit into that circle of intellectuals, but there was a trace of vicious, mean-spiritedness in the way they treated him. It started with snide comments, too vague to call for a confrontation but just noticeable enough to get the message across that he was unwelcome. He would seemingly sit on pins and needles with a group that thought it beneath them to hangout with someone like him simply because it was the only time he could have with you that week.
You werenโt a bad friend, most of what was said to him was typically out of your earshot. But he had wanted you to notice how they treat himโฆ was it childish of him to crave your attention? You had always stood between him and the people who picked on him, he was under your caring wings through high-school. Hence, he wanted you to still defend him from these so-called friends of yours. Sure, his pride wouldnโt allow him to lay out his grievances before you. However, could you not perceive their cruelty towards him? Moon Gwang Mu believed you would never have to tell him these things had the situation been reversed. He would notice. He would care.
One of your friendโs boyfriend, the wannabe idol, had slipped in front you, his voice both over-eager and taunting when he had asked you if your โcriminal friendโ could arrange some drugs for them. He had to restrain his scoff, who calls it drugs like a narcโ donโt you know the name of the shit you want to try? Heโd abruptly paused at the thought, that asshole had just called him a criminal. His first instinct had been to get up in that jerkโs face, dare the bastard to pick a fight he was sure to be thrashed in. He wasnโt some gangly school kid anymore that would lose in a fight.
But nipping at the heels of that bravado was stark fear, the kind that made his heart drop with a thud. He glanced at you; he knew you wouldnโt laugh at him, but the thought of your indifference was just as oppressive and suffocating. He waited for you to say something like a man waiting for a verdict he hadnโt even braced forโ all his hopes pinned on you. Your friends tried to laugh the comment off to defuse the tension, but your gaze was already unperturbed and still. You sounded unnervingly casual, โHe works for my fatherโฆ do you think weโre a family of drug dealing criminals? Since thatโs how it is you shouldnโt come with us.โ
Then you just stood there, indifferent but willful, taking up the sidewalk while others glanced as they passed by. Even he had shuffled his feet, stifling the urge to break the tension and pull you away from the group. You never asked him to leave, but it was immensely clear by how patiently your feet were rooted to the pavement that you werenโt going anywhere with that clown. The guy had scoffed, infuriated and indignant that you would choose to side with someone like him instead of your own friends, before his girlfriend had tugged him awayโ still cursing at you as they left.
You had reverted to polite smiles and easy laughter almost immediately, ushering the rest of the group for the show they were running late to. Youโd spent the evening by his side, sticking uncharacteristically close. He knew you were trying to comfort him, but there was a sense of finality that had settled like lead in his stomach. He would always be seen as a criminal, someone unfit to be by your side. It was something your father had said, which he hadnโt understood then in his naivety, he wanted a respectable life for youโ firmly on the right side of the law, and afforded enough acceptability that nobody would look down on you as they just had to him.
Heโd spent that evening memorising the momentโ all the parts of you he already knew so well, but couldnโt help but appreciate once more. His heart soared with your laughter, gaze tracing the curve of your lashes. He wallowed and revelled in that small moment when you paused to take a breath before launching into a monologue with a fire lit behind your eyes for something you were passionate about. His heart danced at your every little mannerism, the way you pronounced certain words tickled under his ribs. He could even listen to you talk about a hole in your sock for hours, let alone witness the way you came alive when sharing your love for art. His thumb caressed along yours, committing to memory the weight of your hand in his, your warmth in his palms, and the ease with which your fingers settled between his. He didnโt know how he would follow through his decision when he felt so homesick for you while you stood right by his side.
But follow through his decision he did, stubborn as a mule as he walked away from youโ his heart still tethered to your sleeve. Heโd been hollow since, weighed down by the sort of emptiness that made him sigh with exhaustion. He missed you. He missed you. He missed you. So much that he senselessly grabbed at the phone, his ears ringing with the call tone thinking youโd called. You hadnโt called, why would you after he had others pick up your calls for him a few times, making excuses for why he couldnโt talk. He missed your gossipy eavesdropping, your sarcasm, and your incessant griping about the things that irritated you even though you swore you never take it too seriously. He missed your silly humour which was sure to lift his moods. The world was so terribly silent without you.
Moon Gwang Mu left your life rather unexpectedly, hiding behind excuses of how busy he was with setting up his own business after your father had wrapped his up. At first youโd worried he had gotten into a disagreement with your dad. But your father had sworn that it wasnโt the case, claiming heโd even passed his contacts onto your friend since he was retiring from the business. Youโd considered showing up at his house, or maybe his new office with a gift to wish him well.
But he had slipped back into your life like a breeze, as if heโd never truly leftโ like he was always meant to be there. And suddenly it didnโt matter why heโd left, because he was back when youโd needed him most. He had returned when it mattered, when your father was hospitalised after being attacked. You had been so stressed and anxious, your mind too foggy and dazed to work. Youโd stood there in an elevator at the hospital, eyes unseeing while waiting for the dumb thing to move, but too dissociated to have pressed the floor button. The elevator doors had dinged open, heโd peeked in as if he was looking for you all along.
Youโd taken a deep, shaky breathโ the first time it seemed since youโd last seen him. Your lungs had stung and ached at being overexerted, your eyes burning before youโd buried yourself and your sobs in his embrace. You didnโt realise when that doe-eyed kid grew to be so strong. But his hands were firm as they held yours, his arms warm as they clutched you to him, his shoulders so sturdy when you rested your head on them. Those eyes of his were devastating, they always had been so guileless and tender, open and twinkling as if someone had left the lights on, waiting for you to come home. Heโd stayed offering strength and support, ensuring you ate and slept so you could care for your father.
In hindsight, you would realise this was loveโ the greatest expression of love is to be there, to sincerely show up, to care. However, you were slow on the uptake then, your mind filled with countless different matters snatching and warring for your attention. He went off to the marines, while years later you found yourself surrounded by wealth and fame, feeling a longing so stark it made you gasp for air. You were surrounded by people, you wouldnโt call them friends or well-wishersโ acquaintances, perhapsโ but the loneliness still plagued you. It filled this room full of people, voraciously feeding on the empty space between them until it was all you could see.
Moon Gwang Mu believed it was a special brand of humiliationโ and a cruel karmic jokeโ that you always found him when he was being extorted, wounded and banged up from being shaken down for money. His mouth had dried, his heart rising into throat like the dawn chorus of birds welcoming the morning sun. It had taken him an embarrassingly long moment to realise that you were truly here, standing at the door of his office, instead of a mirage his brain manifested because he missed you. And then he had wanted to dig a hole to disappear into, so you wouldnโt see how much of catastrophic wreck he was. How much of a loser he still was.
Your eyes altered between him and that bitch from Smile Capital as you tried to piece the situation together. His pride rooted him in place even though he wanted to lay his head down on your lap and cry over every large and small inconveniences heโd suffered since youโd left. You were back. He didnโt know why, but you were sitting on the ratty couch of his officeโ when was the last time heโd aired this place out? Heโd been so clumsy, shuffling around aimlessly, fussing over two cups of coffee. Why hadnโt he thought to buy proper cups? All his mugs were chipped, now he was serving you shitty instant coffee in a paper cupโ or maybe he should pour it into the chipped cups anyway? The other lady had long been dismissed by your sheer aura. Youโd raised a quizzical brow at her, a polite smile gracing your features while you angled your body to offer her space to walk out in one fluid, dismissive and cool motion.
Heโd meandered around topicsโ the weather, life, your dad, the restaurant, Yang Jung hyung and his ever-improving knife skills. He considered asking you what brought you backโ rather what brought you back here, to him. But he was just glad youโd returned. It didnโt matter what the reason was, theyโd deal with it together. There would always be a place for you with him, heโd tear down any wall, smooth over any aching lumps to carve out the most comfortable, well-lit space within his heart and soul for you. No matter why or for how long youโd returned, he wanted to gather you in his arms to thank you for coming back anywayโ thank you for remembering him.
โYou have my painting.โ Youโd said the statement without any intonation, and he hadnโt known what to make of it. Heโd whirled around to look at it once more, heโd meant to take it home soon. A guy had tried to repay his debt with the painting, and while he was strapped for cash because of the deal with Smile Capital, heโd accepted it because it was yours. He assumed you came for your painting, did artists buy back their paintings? But he was so unwilling to part with it, couldnโt he keep this small part of you?
Youโd looked at him wide-eyed and affronted, โHe cheated you out of your money. Thereโs no way my painting is that expensive.โ Heโd known that, but it was worth much more to him. So, heโd guffawed at your panic, โItโs okay. Itโs basically an investment. Itโll be worth way more than that one day,โ he assured you. You were bewildered and outraged, it was so like you to be distressed over losing money. He swiftly turned down your offer to compensate him for โbeing dupedโ into taking your painting. Of course, weeks later youโd chewed him out for not taking up your offer when those loan sharks had thrashed his office and roughed him upโ theyโd even destroyed your painting.
But worst of all, theyโd taken you. It had been the most harrowing phone call from President Choi. Heโd felt the world lurch beneath his feet, his vision twisting off kilter. Heโd barely heard the details over the uneven, furious palpitations of his heart. He shivered from the sweat trailing down his spine that felt chilled even in the heat. He had barely managed to squeeze words out of his choked throat, struggling to breath so it wouldnโt make him nauseous. Theyโd attacked your home, injured Woo Jin, and kidnapped you. Theyโd taken Mr Oh too. He needed to find you. He needed to rescue you.
Luckily, you had been out on an errand and noticed the fleet of cars rushing towards your home. Youโd called the cops, sensing the impending danger, and theyโd shown up just in time to prevent any tragedyโ scattering Myeong Gilโs men in the process. You had moved to a safe house with your father. But when his boxer marine juniors had tried to take down Smile Capital, you had been inevitably placed in danger.
Heโd tried not to let his fear and panic show, he couldnโt let it impede on his focus and vigilance. Even though his stomach churned with dread and terror at the thought of what these people could do to you, heโd forced himself to repress every emotion that wasnโt strictly necessary until he found you. Until you were safe.
Heโd collapsed when heโd found you, the sheer relief had been debilitating as the tension seeped out of his bones. He held your hands, checking for injuries before clutching you to his chest to feel your heart beat against his own. His laughs had been shaky as he pet your head, soothing himself more that you as the action pushed your face into the crook of his neck and he felt your steady breaths roll over his skin like a reminder that you were alive. You were well. You were unharmed. Safe. And in his arms.
Youโd invited him to an exhibition of yours, mostly to thank him for saving your life, with the promise of gifting him any painting of his choice. It was an elaborate ruse, you had a proxy lined up to buy that painting from him. Heโd never straightforwardly accept your help financially, or your fatherโs it seemed, but he needed it after Smile Capital had bled him dry. He also had to renovate and fix his office that those goons had destroyed.
However, youโd realised the hiccup in your plan almost immediately. Heโd looked delighted at your offer, a gummy smile splitting across his face that was so blindingly sweet and achingly familiarโ tugging at your heart in the way that was so nauseatingly needy. Then heโd lingered over each work, eyes half-lidded and warm as he admired each frame with a soft sigh. Of course. Of course, the Moon Gwang Mu who wallowed in sentimentality and sad songs would indulge and bask in art with the same misty-eyed passion. Youโd felt nervous, your hands clammy and belly unnervingly wrenching. You had wavered between letting him have peace and silence as he engrossed himself in your work, or grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him for his thoughts and opinions on what he saw.
Youโd learned to be thick-skinned with critics, not everyone was going to like what you doโ and especially not in a line of work where being a hater is both an ambition and a joy. But youโd been in a slump. The pandemic had taken a toll on everything, and the burnout had left you not only uninspired but dangerously numb. At first, there was no sense of fulfilment or joy at having finished a project, and then creating anything seemed like an impossible task. To see him so entranced by your artwork made you truly elated.
His compliments of your work were unvarnished and utterly honest. Sometimes, he found a particular shade you had used delightful. Other times, heโd tell you about how your paintings made him feelโ heโd reminisce over small, innocuous moments youโd shared while growing up. These moments often didnโt have a memorable story, they were routines you hadnโt thought about in so long; running late for the bus, the after school window shopping, the Sunday morning movies, a summer trip to the beach. It was refreshing to hear something that wasnโt unbearably pretentious and pompous about technique, gradient, artistic intention, or value.
Perhaps it was something about his smile and the way he looked a bit like an artwork himself under the exhibition lighting, but your fingers itched for a pencil for the first time in months. You wanted to paint him. There was something endearing about how the crinkles by his eyes curved over his cheekbones. And you planned how to best inscribe the way his smile lines were accented by dimples on paper. His liveliness would be a challenge to capture, he spoke so animatedly that the muscles of his face moved with his words and toneโ sometimes a small crease between his short brows, or tiny scrunches at the top of his nose. Then there were those lips which would be a joy to shade on paper with the shark cupidโs bow and defined edges. They curled into the most irresistible little moue when he was preoccupied. There was a firmness to his mouth that belied the lighthearted chortles heโd let loose once in a while. And even though his laughs were often a little forced, more than a little phony, they softened the rigid, square set of his jaw. You could fill entire books drawing that mouth alone from the sneer that pulled at the left side of his upper lip, the scoff that tugged at the right corner of his bottom lip to the small smile when he thinks nobody is looking and the easy grins where his upper lip mimics the curve of his cupidโs bow.
You didnโt dream of his mouthโฆ No. Instead, you had dreamt of your mouthโon him. Youโd filled pages that would have made your anatomy drawing instructor puff his chest with pride. You had sketched him with a desperate sort of urgency without any flair or finishโ the slope of his nose, the curve of his mouth, the swoop of his hair, the profile of his face, his throat and the devastating dip at its base formed between two sturdy collar bones, the contours of his chest and the ruinous little trail of hair that slipped into his pants, his torso with the deep line along his spine that carved his back symmetrically into halves, his hands in a dizzying array of motions, and embarrassingly, even the curves and soles of his feet once heโd propped them onto the armrest of the couch. And, sadly, you imagined your mouth on every inch of skin on his bodyโ tasting, sucking, nibbling on him until he was coloured with your attention and making expressions you had yet to see.
You needed to get a grip. It was ruining your day that you couldnโt draw every minuscule detail of his swiftly changing expressions and mannerisms like a camera taking rapid snapshots at any given time while the memory of moments lingers and hovers and bounces around in your brain like a poltergeist haunting an abandoned room. It wasnโt feelings or anything icky, it was simplyโฆ artistic curiosity. It was like watching the apple on a table from every angle before deciding which phase you wished to put on paper. However, in your case, deciding you wanted to put every angle and face on paper.
You blamed the gold chain. Youโd noticed it when he was working outโ gaudy, thick and snaking over his glistening tanned skin. And youโd wanted to trace it with your tongue, feeling the cold metal and warm skin contrast in your mouth. Heโd been huffing for air, wiping the sweat over his brow. Your traitorous brain painted images of him gasping for air with his mouth agape, those dulcet eyes blown wide and befuddled making him lookโฆ fucked out.
Youโd felt a small twinge of nervousness squeezing your heart at the numerous salacious sketches you had made of him during lazy evenings. But the guilt only came after you had made yourself cum, fingers circling and massaging your clit to your own thoughts and drawings. It wasโฆ a new fucking low. Not even the cavemen had drawn nudes on walls before jacking off to them. You needed to get laid. Promptly and expeditiously. However, making a move on your childhood friend because you were horny and desperate was all sorts of taboo.
You didnโt want to lose this friendship. It was embarrassing to realise at your big age that you were quite friendless, with everyone you cared for and vice versa had either drifted away in their own lives or were geographically too far to give you a hug. The world after the pandemic didnโt make it any easier since everyone had receded into their tight-knit inner circlesโ or simply gotten used to the isolation. You made friends through your craft and work, but you realised perhaps too late when your ambition for fame and moneyโ for critic praiseโ had moved you into some luxury enclave surrounded by heartless people who were snobbish, cruel and not just a little out of touch with the world. You needed your only friend to be an anchor of support as you shifted into a different sort of art world, a warmer one with more public appeal. You needed Moon Gwang Mu to be his usual simple, uncomplicated, steady self. The only familiar, comforting factor amidst anxious change and uncertainty.
So, it was unfairโ truly, extremely unfairโ that he looked at your lips in a drunken haze with that pouty, sad look on his face looking like a puppy denied a treat. Firstly, you were supposed to be sketching him. He might have been a little tipsy when he threw off his t-shirt and quoted Titanic at you, demanding that you draw him like a french girl. It might have been a little indulgent on your part when you had agreed. He was cocky and preening, his poses far too comedic to resemble any sexy french girl youโd ever seen. You had turned on the television to grab his attention, so he would hold still for you to sketch. He was easily impressed at the baking show playing in the background, oohing and aahing at each technical step. You briefly wondered if this was what mothers felt like when they turned on their screens to feed their kids.
You didnโt realise when he had stopped watching his show to stare at you instead, but your eyes had met his languid and half-closed ones. It would have been easy to misunderstand that he was almost asleep and drowsy under the low lighting of his room, had you not keenly felt his attention like a warm current under your skin. For a moment, youโd been glad that you had chosen to sit on his stupid Bean Bag pouf because it prevented you from leaping across the scant few steps between you to give into your most base desires. You were never going to struggle with a fucking sack to waddle and roll out of it before kissing someone.
You just hadnโt counted on him to drop himself from his couch into a lithe, agile, cat-like prowl. The ripple, stretch and contraction of the muscles of his hands and back had been hypnotic to watch as he crawled on his hands and knees towards youโ the bones protruding out of his back like small broken wings. He looked like a devil, and just as tempting too. You were far too stunned to protest when he had snatched your pencil to throw it over his shoulder. You were still speechless, unable to look away from those eyes as the world fell away, when he tugged the sketchbook out of your grip and tossed it aside.
The first kiss was painfully gentleโ far too sensual and slow to be a peck, and yet not nearly thorough enough to be a kiss. He didnโt even touch you, his hands too busy propping him up. And, yet, youโd felt that first caress of his lips against yours like a lightening strike all the way down to your toes which curled into the carpet beneath. His mouth had been warm and slightly chapped, the grain of his moustache tickled the lining of your lips. The want, the craving, hadnโt surprised you but you had not expected the need. It took you completely by surprise. You needed him. The kiss wasnโt nearly enough. Nothing would ever be enough. You wanted to coax bits of his soul out his mouth and fold them into your being.
And he mustโve felt the same because heโd retreated, his lips hovering over yours once more, his nose nudging yours tentatively. You thought he would tilt his head and finally, finally, kiss you properly. Your hands found the curve of his arm, fingers pressing soft indents in the muscle to hold him in place. But the coward he was still warred against the inevitable. His lips fell on yours again in another hesitant, timid kiss. His lips closed around your bottom lip, and you felt a shiver down your back pushing you into his mouth. His lips slid over yours once, and then once more. You could taste his unwillingness to pull away, he gave your lip a reluctant, puppyish tug as he withdrew.
You sighed into the empty space between you. And perhaps if youโd opened your eyes you wouldโve seen him, guarded and wary, studying your face as you absorbed what he had just done. You felt his fear, his doubt, in the cold air that rushed between you, chilling your skin as he leaned away and knelt before you. You heard the start of his apology, his voice low and cracking before you slapped him. The sound was deafening, effectively cutting off his words as his head whipped to the side from the force of your smack. Then you grasped for him and yanked him down, urgently and desperately, noses bumping awkwardly and your stomach protesting with a grunt as his weight gracelessly tumbled onto you.
You hated the stupid Bean Bag, and you would love to burn it as soon as you were done. The kiss was clumsy, your tooth ached due to the pressure of his mouth against yours while he struggled for balance. It was a frenzied struggle, his lips sliding over yours while your tongue slipped past his lips to stroke along his. You were panting, your chest struggling to expand against his. He was burning, he felt so hot under your icy fingers. You felt his tongue swipe under the hard roof of your mouth, ticklish and electrifying. His mouth was searing. It was all too much and at the same time not nearly enough.
He responded to the strangled sound in your throat which was somewhere between a whine and a sob, his large hand edging under your neck to cradle your head. His bicep flexed, the muscle bunching and relaxing under your touch. You wanted to see it. You wanted to see him. It occurred to you, quite salaciously, that you should record itโ place a camera somewhere close so you can watch later for reference as you paint him fucking into you. The thought scattered with a gasp as he rolled with you in his arms.
You had imagined the sight beneath you countless times, and yet it was better than anything you could have pictured. He stared up at you with awe and disbelief while you straddled himโ those soft, beseeching, decadent eyes. โIf we do this, Iโll belong to you,โ he rasped. โNo,โ he reconsidered. His hands trembled over your skin before holding your waist, โYouโll belong to me.โ
He stared like an idiot, mouth agape and eyes just as wide, with his hands back to himself folded shyly over his chest like he was upholding the last of his modesty as you stood to shimmy out of your clothes. Your panties clung to your folds, embarrassingly wet as you pulled them down, smearing some of of your arousal on your thigh. You made a small disgruntled sound when you realised he was too gobsmacked to have removed his shorts. His hand extended towards your tits while you forced his shorts down to his thighs, giving up before taking them off entirely. He palmed your flesh, moulding the weight in his hands. His knuckles grazed over your nipples when you straddled him again, the caress made a shudder spread across your shoulders. A shared moan sounded between you when you settled over his cock, slotting the length between the lips of your pussy.
Heโs been delightfully long, and curiously curved when you freed him, standing over coarse, thick curls. His tip was weepy and red, you would taste him laterโ take your time to give it the extensive attention it deserved, leave marks on the inside of those muscled, athletic thighs, and study the way they rippled and moved under your mouth. You settled for a slow grind, sliding your wet pussy over his cock while you leaned down to kiss him again. You felt his cock pulsating and throbbing with each slow drag of your hips while he whimpered into your mouth.
He had gasped as you propped yourself higher, his tongue chasing the string of spit connecting him to your mouth. You tucked a hand between your bodies, growing antsy with the pace you had set and reaching for your clit. Heโd giggled at you. Because, of course, youโd be greedy and impatient. His laughter soon melted into a keening sort of groan as you notched him at your opening, your fingers obstinately rubbing tight circles over your clit to ease his cock inside you. It was a deliciously stinging ache, followed by the overwhelming fullness as you fluttered and clenched around him.
You sighed with satisfaction once he bottomed out inside, his balls nestling in the crevice of your ass. You bit your lip to stifle the embarrassing moan that had been about to fly out of your mouthโ long, desperate and lowโ as you swivelled your hips. His tip rubbed against some spot so deep inside you which made your spine feel strangely liquid and languid. You felt yourself slipping, drowning in the pool of currents spreading from your quivering cunt while you settled into little humps punctuated by your hips dragging forward so your oversensitive little nub rubbed into the hair at the base of his cock. He was made for you, his cock was made to fuck you and stuff you full of him. He fit so perfectly inside you, it was just that he was soโฆ fucking loud.
Moon Gwang Mu was mouthy and noisy, he was continuously talkingโ most of it gibberish peppered with reverent praise. He was babbling slurred little phrases, โfeel so goodโ, โtaking me so wellโ, โbaby, pleaseโ when you clasped a hand on his throat with a gasped command for him to just shut up as the mushroom head of his tip dragged along the wall of your pussy, scraping against nerve endings that had your vision darkening at the edges. You felt him jump inside you, a tiny pulsing movement that made him feel bigger somehow. His cock felt so heavy in your pussy.
Your fingers dug into the sides of his throat, feeling his heart beat in your hands at the same rhythm of the pulse throbbing inside you. You leaned down to lick into his open mouth, he was obedient and bleary-eyed, too slack-jawed to do anything but whine as you suckled his tongue. The rub of your nipples against his heated skin with each undulating pump on his cock sent jolts of electricity from your erect little buds straight down to your spasming pussy. You tumbled into your orgasm, your body stiffening as your walls clenched around him before you shattered. You collapsed onto him, body trembling as tremors shook your limbs. Your muscles felt strangely fuzzy and warm. You mightโve seen stars, panting against his neck and struggling to gather yourself again.
Heโd started thrusting up into you, his arms banding around your waist to hold you in place while he lifted his hips, bouncing your ass as he fucked up into your hole. You vaguely registered how wet the noises were, there was a steady, repetitive squelch every time he shoved his cock deeper into you. You could feel how much you had soaked him, your combined juices were sticky and cool on your ass cheeks and smeared over his thighs, strings of your release clung to both of you feeling cold as his cock receded from your cunt. You felt a gush of warmth inside you as he came. And it only stoked the warmth swirling under your skin, you wanted him to pull him deeper inside you and hold him there.
There were sparkles spreading from the base of your spine that begged for another release even when you snuggled deeper into his chest feeling sleepy and replete. You allow him to caress your back for a few minutes, blinking through your post coital haze as he deposited your slumped form beside him, pulling his rug under you so you werenโt lying on the cold ground. He kissed down your body, truly quiet for the first time this evening, spreading your legs, making you unusually self conscious, also for the first time that evening. He watched with a feverish sort of rapture as his cum seeped out of your hole.
Heโd fumbled for the remote, turning the TV on that you hadnโt even realised heโd switched off before crawling over to permanently change your life. He turned on the screen, tilting his chin towards it in a silent command for you to watch. It wasnโt muted, but you couldnโt hear a single thing over the ringing in your ears. Then he settled in, your jittering thighs thrown over his shoulders as he lapped at your oversensitive cunt in a single flat-tongued lick from the puckered hole of your ass to the clit peeking out of your hood.
You couldnโt quite place how long heโd been down there playing with his own cumโ sucking it out of your pussy and pushing it back in with his fingers as if he hadnโt quite made up his mind where he wanted it. But the images on TV had long blurred into nondescript colours and there was a crick in the side of your hips that twinged every time you humped into his mouth. His hands were everywhere, either lightly grazing your skin or tightly pinching your nipples. He mapped your body in detailed explorations and curious caresses which you rewarded with soft sighs and quiet moans until you were shaking under another release. This one started as a wave, faintly tingling and warm until you were convulsing, spraying sticky, salty-sweet cum all over him until drops of it trailed from his jaw down onto his chest.
Even though heโd tucked you into his chest, folding his body along the length of yours so his chest was pressed to your back, your ass on his lap and his knees curving with yours, there was still the strange, hungry glow behind his eyes. Your puppy had grown a taste for this. It didnโt take long for dawn to spread over the sky in pretty colours, so similar to the ones dancing under your eye lids as he coaxed his hardened length into your pussy again, his fingers playing with your clit. Heโd slid your knee higher so his balls rested heavy on the inside of your thigh. He pressed kisses over swathes of your sweaty skin, nibbling at the thin skin of your throat as he lazily rocked into you.
He cradled your throat, squeezing the column ever so slightly before shifting higher to cup your jaw, his fingers pressing into your cheeks so they bulged around the digits. He guided your mouth to his, sliding past your teeth to lick at the gummy walls of your mouth. There was nothing hesitant or nervous about this kiss, it was tender and slow and terrifyingly right. It wasnโt the sort of embrace that led to other things, it wasnโt meant to excite or titillateโ he kissed you for the simple pleasure of kissing you, because he enjoyed his lips on yours and he revelled in sharing a breath and taste.
โYou came back for me, didnโt you?โ He whispered into your mouth. And it made you feel undone, exposed in a way that made you shiver. Because you had returned for him. You couldโve gone back to your life after visiting your father, started anew somewhere else and made new friends. There had been no reason to stay, there had been no other reason to walk along his neighbourhood for days before building the courage to knock on his office door. โIโm glad you came back,โ he murmured, your tears catching on his thumbs.
Heโd just left. He was there one day, and then gone the next with no rhyme or reason. And you had never figured out the why. Sometimes, you had raged at him in your mind for abandoning you and your friendship. Other times, when you were more vulnerable, you blamed yourself for beingโฆ difficult to put up with. Men donโt like women with strong personalitiesโ and you prided yourself on being too headstrong, too stubborn, too unyielding. Maybe he had just grown tired one day and walked out. But heโd been a saint, always patient and compliant with all your moods and whims, if not enthusiastic in your company. He was the ray of sunshine that never dimmed at the sight of your scowls and grumbling.
You had forced yourself to not attach labels or expect anything more than just this night. It would have to be nothing more than a one-night stand, and your friendship hinged on the ability to still remain steady, uncomplicated friends despite having fucked. There was a small, needling voice in your head that reminded you that you had no such ability. You would never recover, and would despise him for not being as affected as you were. Hence, it was deeply, deeply, unfair that he wasnโt fucking you, he was making love. You almost wished his touch was greedy, purposeful and selfish. Instead, he made you feel full in ways you never knew it was possible to feel complete.
Much later, you would be shocked into silence, too stunned to react when he answers your shaky, uncertain insecurities about a relationship with the most devastating confession of how heโd loved you since high schoolโ high school! And had decided to be a noble idiot to give you some sort of a better life. Youโd wanted to bash his stupid head in. Itโs okay, you had reassured him, you would rather date someone with no brain, rather than someone with a brain like his. But heโd only foolishly giggled at your threat, โSo today is our first day of dating?โ
๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ: After Baek Jeongโs men ambush one of the teamโs routes, everyone is forced into hiding at a remote cabin outside Seoul. Gun-woo becomes increasingly unbearable about your safety, hovering around you like breathing depends on it. Things only get worse after another man throws himself in front of a knife to protect youโฆ and Gun-woo realizes he hates the idea of someone else being able to.
Enjoy!
Rain hammered against the cabin windows that night, heavy enough to swallow the forest surrounding the safehouse whole.
Inside, however, the tension felt worse than the storm itself. The cabin arranged for the team sat hidden far outside Seoul after Baek Jeongโs men ambushed one of their routes earlier that evening. Everyone made it out alive, barely, but the attack confirmed something none of them wanted to admit aloud: Baek Jeong was getting closer.
Gun-woo had been unbearable about it the entire mission.
Not officially, though. Nobody told him to stay glued to your side; not Woo-jin, not Mr. Moon, and definitely not you. You were part of the team too. You could fight, you could shoot, and you had survived worse long before him.
But still, Gun-woo hovered around you like breathing depended on it. His hand constantly found the small of your back whenever crowds got too tight. He walked slightly ahead of you during routes, always checking corners first. Every time someone unfamiliar looked at you too long, his expression darkened almost immediately.
And you noticed every single thing. You found it adorable.
Earlier that afternoon, after he nearly shoved a man away for brushing too closely past you during the escape route, you finally laughed.
โGun-woo,โ you teased while jogging beside him through the rain-soaked alleyway, โare you my bodyguard now?โ
Gun-woo didnโt even glance your way. โNo.โ
You smiled instantly. โReally? Because you almost killed that taxi driver with your eyes.โ
โHe was too close.โ
โHe bumped into me accidentally.โ
โHe still touched you.โ The answer came out so quickly that even Gun-woo seemed caught off guard by himself, the tips of his ears reddening almost immediately.
You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling harder. Because despite his broad shoulders, bruised knuckles, and terrifying punches, Gun-woo had always been disastrously transparent when it came to you.
Unfortunately for him, you noticed everything. Unfortunately for you, you were already completely in love with him. And that was becoming a serious problem.
-
The ambush happened less than an hour later. It was fast, violent, and chaotic.
One black SUV suddenly swerved across the road while headlights exploded through the rain from behind. Then came the shouting. Men flooding out from both sides. Gunshots. Pipes. Knives glinting beneath the streetlights.
Gun-woo shoved you behind him immediately while Woo-jin cursed somewhere nearby, throwing punches fast enough to crack teeth.
Everything blurred together afterward. Rainwater mixed with blood across the pavement while bodies collided violently beneath flickering streetlights. You barely had time to react before one of Baek Jeongโs men rushed toward you from the side, knife raised high.
But someone moved first, Min-jae. One of the newer men working with Mr. Moonโs team.
He threw himself directly between you and the blade without hesitation, the knife tearing across his side instead.
Your eyes widened instantly. โMin-jae!โ
Gun-woo froze for half a second after hearing your voice, then he looked over and saw your hands grabbing Min-jae immediately, trying to steady him while blood soaked through his shirt. Even injured, Min-jae still positioned himself protectively in front of you.
And Gun-woo understood something ugly right then. As a man, he knew exactly why another man would move like that.
Nobody throws themselves in front of a knife unless feelings are involved.
Something twisted painfully inside his chest. Fear.
Because suddenly, Gun-woo realized someone else could protect you too, and he hated how much that thought suffocated him.
-
By the time everyone reached the cabin later that night, exhaustion hung heavily across every room.
Mr. Moon and Woo-jin discussed routes upstairs while Min-jae disinfected his injury near the fireplace downstairs. You stayed beside him helping quietly, handing over gauze and alcohol while checking whether the wound needed stitches.
Gun-woo sat farther across the room in complete silence, and Woo-jin noticed immediately.
โOh no,โ he muttered under his breath while watching Gun-woo stare toward the fireplace. โHeโs jealous.โ
Min Beom looked up briefly. โWho?โ
Woo-jin pointed subtly toward Gun-woo.
Gun-woo looked seconds away from beating someone unconscious.
Unfortunately, every time Min-jae quietly asked if you were okay or thanked you for helping him, Gun-wooโs expression darkened further. Until eventually he stood up abruptly and disappeared into the kitchen without a word.
Woo-jin watched him leave before glancing toward you, then toward Min-jae, then back toward you again.
โOh, this is bad.โ
-
The kitchen remained dim except for the warm light above the stove. Gun-woo stood near the sink pretending to drink water while internally trying not to lose his mind.
You entered quietly a minute later.
He heard you immediately but refused to turn around.
โYouโre being mean,โ you said softly from the doorway.
Gun-woo tightened his grip around the glass. โIโm tired.โ
โYou almost ripped Woo-jinโs head off for asking where the medicine kit was.โ
Silence filled the kitchen for a moment while rain battered against the windows.
Then finally: โYou should stay near him then.โ
Your brows pulled together immediately. โโฆWhat?โ
โThat guy.โ
Gun-woo finally turned toward you, jaw tense. โHe seems good at protecting you.โ
There it was. Jealousy. Raw and impossible to hide anymore.
Your chest tightened so painfully you almost smiled by accident. Because this was Gun-woo. Sweet, painfully reserved Gun-woo who swallowed every feeling whole instead of speaking it aloud.
And now he looked genuinely wounded by you.
You stepped closer slowly. โYouโre jealous.โ
โIโm not.โ
โYou look miserable.โ
โThatโs your fault.โ The answer slipped out before he could stop it, and your heart nearly exploded.
Gun-woo looked away immediately afterward, frustrated with himself.
โYou scared me today,โ he admitted quietly.
That changed everything, and your teasing softened instantly. โGun-wooโฆโ
โI didnโt like watching him touch you,โ he continued, voice rougher now. โI didnโt like watching you look at him after he got hurt for you.โ
Because beneath the jealousy, beneath the irritation and possessiveness, he sounded terrified. Like he genuinely thought he could lose you.
You reached for his hand carefully. Then, after seeing him welcome your touch without hesitation, your fingers slowly moved to the side of his face.
You fought the urge to smile from ear to ear.
And the moment his head leaned gently into your hand, something inside you gave out completely.
You pulled him toward you suddenly by the belt, and he immediately reciprocated, one of his hands gripping your waist while his mouth crashed against yours hard enough to steal your breath away.
The kiss felt desperate immediately. Like weeks of restraint finally collapsing all at once.
You couldnโt believe this was actually happening.
A soft gasp escaped you against his lips while your fingers tangled into the fabric of his fitted grey shirt. Gun-woo backed you slowly against the kitchen counter without breaking the kiss once.
โI .. hated it,โ he admitted shakily between kisses. โI hated watching someone else protect you.โ
Your chest ached painfully, as you cupped his face gently and whispered back, โI only wanted you. Iโve always only wanted you.โ
Gun-woo froze completely at the reassurance. Then his forehead dropped against yours while his breathing turned uneven.
โYou canโt say things like that,โ he whispered.
โWhy?โ
โBecause I already canโt think straight around you.โ
Your stomach flipped violently at the confession before he kissed you again, slower and deeper this time.
One of his hands slid beneath your thigh before lifting you easily onto the counter, settling himself between your knees while your breathing completely fell apart.
The cabin remained awake outside the kitchen, only one wall separating you from the others. Voices echoed faintly through the hallway. Anybody could walk in.
That danger only made the tension worse.
Gun-woo pulled back briefly and stared softly into your eyes before gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
โTell me to stop.โ You shook your head immediately, and that nearly destroyed him.
His lips trailed slowly down your neck afterward while your fingers disappeared through his soft hair. Every breath against your skin made your chest tighten harder.
Then movement appeared near the kitchen entrance. Min-jae.
Stopping mid-step after realizing what he walked into.
Gun-woo noticed immediately, and instead of pulling away, something possessive darkened in his eyes.
His hand tightened slightly against your thigh before he deliberately pulled you closer against him again, his mouth brushing slowly against your throat while his gaze locked directly onto Min-jaeโs stunned face.
Clear enough for any man to understand.
Sheโs with me.
Min-jae looked away first and mumbled an awkward apology before disappearing quickly back down the hallway.
Your face burned instantly as you gently pushed Gun-woo away after hearing Min-jaeโs hurried footsteps disappear.
โGun-woo!โ
But he only buried his face quietly into your neck afterward, both hands spread against the counter around you, exhaustion finally replacing the adrenaline.
And when he spoke again, his voice sounded almost shy beneath everything else.
a/n: me when I open up the drafts immediately after watching the second season. something simple for now ๐
kdrama! yeon sieun x gn!reader | 595 wc | no major warnings, no spoilers, mentions injury (bruising)
โDid you get into a fight again?โ
Sieun turns at the voiceโnot his mother, not even his head imagining thingsโbut you. Standing in the middle of the apartment with tears in the corner of your eyes, just staring at him under the dim light.
His fingers twitch at his sides, palm itching as if it hurt him to keep his hands from moving. โI did.โ
Sieun always found it hard to lie to you. That was one of his greatest faults that he could never fix. You always saw right through him.
โCome to me.โ His brow twitches, but he stays in place despite your words. You donโt move either, feet planted firmly in your spot before your arms cross over your chest. โWhen you get injuredโ when your friends youโve told me aboutโ if and when they get hurt, you guys come to me. Alright?โ
He nods slightly, hesitating because, essentially, he was adding you to the list of people he has to worry about. Though you always were at the top, now it seemed more detrimental than ever.
Theyโd already shown up to Suho, after all. Who knows what would happen if theyโd come to you.
Your socks shuffle against the hardwood floor as you walk towards him, fingers brushing against the bruises along his cheek. โYou donโt have to worry about me. I can handle myself.โ
โThat doesnโt mean I shouldnโt worry.โ
Your hand freezes against his skin, eyes darting between his as he stares at you, a hardened glareโ yet no malice within it. โRight. Okay.โ
His fingers wrap around your wrist unexpectedly, eyes snapping to your hand as he slowly brings it away from his face. โHow did you find out?โ
โWord gets around fast.โ You say, heartbeat quickening when he takes a step closer to you. โYou know, high schoolers love to talk.โ
He releases your hand with a hum, brushing past you to walk to his room, turning around just before he reaches his door. โAre you staying?โ
You look towards your shoes at the door, tapping your fingers against your thigh as silence fills the room while he waits for your response. โI caโโ
โItโs late.โ Your head turns to him, jolting when he stands right in front of you. โYou should stay.โ
In a rare moment, Sieunsโ eyes tell you something youโd never heard before.
I need you here. Stay. Donโt go.
You wonder how it was possible to get all that from a simple look, but his eyes never once held anything but the truth. It was his tell.
โOkay,โ your fingers twitch against the back of his hand when you feel it brush against yours, your pinky wrapping hesitantly with his. โAlright.โ
The light flickers off, and the apartment is silent except for the buzzing light from the streets outside and the floor creaking under your and Sieunsโ steps. The bed dips as you settle down, and your arm absentmindedly wraps around him, clutching onto the fabric of his shirt.
Sieun couldnโt tell if you were grounding him or yourself. But he wouldnโt brush you off.
Another thing he finds himself incapable of doing.
โGet some rest.โ You whispered, breath brushing against the nape of his neck. He almost pulls away, almost.
He replies with a hum, eyes flitting to the alarm clock across from him, sighing at the time. โYou too.โ
Your fingers flex against his shirt, clutching tighter, and your head presses into his back. Sieun stays silent, watching the numbers on the clock change until he hears your breathing even out.
summary : even though Sieun wasnโt the boyfriend to openly hold your hand on the street or hug you in the school hallways, he showed you love in the most unspoken ways. And you cherished these moments more than anything.
a/n : i just finished watching whc2 and iโm so happy with the ending. I loved this kdrama so much.
โ
Sieunโs house was always a little too quiet, but you never minded. It made moments like this feel more intimate. The low hum of his desk lamp he specially moved to the living room, the occasional rustle of pages, the soft clicking of pensโit was a quiet kind of closeness you grew to love. And truthfully, youโd grown used to this silence ever since the two of you started seeing each other.
Today wasnโt any different. You sat cross-legged on the floor across Sieun who was flipping through a practice exam booklet with furrowed brows, highlighter in hand, fully immersed in the quiet rhythm of studying. His brows always furrowed when he studied, and something about that little detail made you want to stare longer than you should.
You had your books open too, a pencil twirling between your fingers, but most of your focus was on him. You werenโt even pretending to study at this pointโjust watching how his eyes moved, how his lips pressed together in concentration and how his hoodie sleeves were pushed up to his elbows.
โIs something wrong with the exercise?โ he asked suddenly, catching your gaze without even looking up from the page.
You blinked, caught, but you nodded anyway. โMhm.โ you replied, nodding even though you hadnโt read a single question. โTotally confusing.โ
He closed his book gently and moved beside you, taking your textbook without waiting for permission. You scooted a little closer, heart racing more from his closeness than from any actual academic confusion. You leaned in, resting your chin on your palm and you lips tugging into a small smile.
โWhat part?โ he asked, eyes scanning the question.
โAll of it.โ You answered.
He started explaining, quietly, patiently. His voice was smooth, his finger moving across the page as he broke down each step. But you didnโt catch a wordโyour focus stayed fixed on him, not even glancing at the formulas.
โYouโre not listening,โ he said flatly after a few seconds, eyes flicking to meet yours.
โI am,โ you lied, grinning.
He narrowed his eyes just a bit, not annoyed, but definitely unamused. โThen tell me what I just said.โ
โโฆSomething about the square root of something?โ you blurted out, leaning slightly closer with a dramatic sigh.
Sieun exhaled, almost a laugh, but not quite. More like a breath caught between amusement and surrender. He didnโt respond. Just shook his head softly and went back to explaining.
Your story hadnโt exactly started with a confession. There were no butterflies-in-your-stomach speeches or dramatic realizations. It justโฆ happened.
You werenโt even sure when it shifted from one-sided pestering to a relationship. Maybe it was all those late library study sessions, or the times you shared your snacks during break, or how you always waved at him even when he never waved backโat first.
The truth was, youโd kind of forced yourself into his quiet little world. Bit by bit, like sunlight creeping in through half-closed blinds. You didnโt knock, you just sort of let yourself inโloud, bright, and annoyingly persistent.
He resisted, of course. Gave you those flat stares, dry responses, and more than once told you to stop talking so much. But then came the little momentsโhow he started waiting for you outside class, the way he sat just a bit closer at lunch, how he texted you first just once and never really stopped.
So when he kissed you for the first time, it didnโt feel like a surprise. It felt like something that had been waiting to happen all along. Quiet, slow, and certain.
Sieun had long returned to his side of the table, diving back into his book with the same silent intensity he always carried. His eyes flicked across the lines, and the only sound in the room was the soft scratching of his pen as he scribbled notes.
You, on the other hand, lasted a solid thirty minutes before your patience cracked.
With a loud sigh, you dropped your pen and slid down until your back hit the floor. You sprawled out like a starfish, letting your arm flop to the side as you stared up at the ceiling.
Sieun glanced over, pen paused mid-word, looking completely dumbfounded. He didnโt say anything at first, just raised a brow and blinked slowly like he was trying to process whether you had actually just given up and collapsed on his floor.
โโฆWhat are you doing?โ he finally asked, voice flat but clearly confused.
โIโm tired of studying,โ you groaned, throwing an arm over your eyes. โI didnโt come here to write equations till my brain melts.โ
โThen why did you come?โ
You peeked at him from under your arm, a small smirk curling on your lips. โTo spend time with you.โ
Sieun blinked again, this time his gaze lingering on you a little longer before looking away. You thought maybe he was going to ignore it like he always did, brush past your teasing, but his hand paused on the corner of his page, like something in your words stuck.
โYou could've just said that,โ he muttered, eyes back on his bookโbut you saw the way his ears tinted just slightly pink.
You grinned, crossing your arms over the table now from your seated spot on the floor. โYouโre blushing.โ
โIโm not.โ
โYou totally are.โ
โYouโre annoying.โ
โBut you still love meโ you teased.
He looked at you thenโdeadpan as always. โDelusional.โ
You just laughed. It was so easy being around him, even with his wall up. Maybe especially because of it. Each word he gave you felt earned. Each look, every small shift in expressionโit all meant something.
โSo what exactly does that mean? How do you want to spend time with me?โ He blinked, leaning his back slightly against the couch.
You looked at him for a second, then without a word, stood up and moved around the table. He followed your movement with his eyes, and before he could say anything else, you plopped down beside him. Closeโcloser than usual.
Then, gently, you leaned your head against his shoulder, letting out the smallest content sigh. Both of your arms wrapped around his, holding it close like it was the most natural thing in the world.
โLike this,โ you murmured. โThis is enough.โ
There was a beat of silence. The kind that hung heavy, not uncomfortable, but full of something else. Sieun didnโt move, didnโt say anything right away. You could hear the soft click of the clock on the wall, the hum of the fridge in the kitchen.
And thenโyou felt it.
A quiet shift.
His shoulder barely moved, but you felt it. A small pull at the corner of his lips.
You turned slightly to look up at him.
โAre youโฆ smiling?โ
Sieun exhaled through his nose, subtle but unmistakable.
โYouโre imagining things,โ he said.
But the faint curve on his lips betrayed him.
You grinned and tightened your grip on his arm just a little. โYou so are.โ
โDonโt get used to it,โ he muttered, eyes flicking away, his smile not leaving his lips.
You stayed like that for a whileโcurled up beside him, your head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his. At first, it was quietโcomfortable, easy. But it didnโt take long before you started talking. Random stories, the kind that didnโt need a point.
Sieun wasnโt the most talkative, and you still carried most of the conversation, but he listenedโreally listenedโand when he spoke, it was warm, thoughtful, a little dry but always sincere. Heโd answer with a soft laugh, or a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Sometimes heโd shake his head at your teasing remarks, and other times, heโd quietly add his own take, making you laugh.
It was one of those moments where time didnโt feel real. Just the two of you, tucked into the corner of his quiet world, talking about nothing and everything.
Even though Sieun wasnโt the boyfriend to openly hold your hand on the street or hug you in the school hallways, he showed you love in the most unspoken ways.
And you cherished these moments more than anything.
Hi! I really love the way you write. ๐ซถ I would like to place a request please
Si Eun has a girlfriend who kisses him with red lipstick that doesn't easily come off.
He won't stop going to class because of it.
kisses gone wrong
yeon sieun x fem! reader (one shot) | weak hero class 1 โ
pairing: yeon sieun x fem! reader
wc: 2.3k
warnings: usage of y/n, intended lowercase, for storytelling purposes they arenโt attending an all boys school, established relationship
genre: fluff, slight comedy
summary: you cover sieunโs face in playful kisses before school, not realizing your brand new red lipstick is extra waterproof. when it refuses to come off, you panicโฆ but sieun stays weirdly calm about walking around with your lipstick stamped all over him.
authorโs note: hello anon, tysm! iโm not really sure whether i like the way i wrote this honestly but i hope youโre going to enjoy yourself nonetheless โก also letโs ignore how unrealistic this scenario is to happen at a korean school, okay haha? TT likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated เดฆเตเดฆเดฟโ โฉ โ.แ
you were sleeping over at sieunโs place on a school night โ something he rarely allowed. he always claimed he couldnโt concentrate on homework when you were around, but he always said it with that slight blush on his cheeks, that told you he didnโt mean it in a bad way.
but sometimes he let it happen anyway, like today for example. because at the end of the day he liked having you around, even if heโd never say it out loud.
he liked making instant noodles with you, liked watching whatever dumb show you insisted was โsuper trending online right nowโ even though heโd never heard of it, liked the way you fell asleep on his chest and the way your hair got sprawled all over his pillows by morning.
it all felt so stupidly intimate.
something no one else ever got to touch.
this morning, heโd woken up first, of course. and had to remind you at least three times that you were gonna be late for school, before you finally crawled out of bed.
and then came his least favorite part of your sleepover aftermath: being the โwaiting boyfriend.โ
he was already fully ready, uniform neat, hair perfect, bag packed โ while you were still in front of the mirror, sitting at his desk, going through your entire morning ritual.
he sat on the edge of the bed and watched you curl your hair, blend your makeup, do all the things he absolutely did not understand but found himself unable to look away from.
โyou do thisโฆ every day?โ he asked, genuinely confused. it just seemed like an exhausting amount of effort to him.
โyeah, i do. i like to feel good about myself.โ you smiled at him through the mirror, adding your final touches. then you turned around, bright and proud โand with my makeup done, i get to do this!โ
before he could react you grabbed him by the collar and smothered his face in kisses, one after another after another. he froze, blinking rapidly, his entire body stiffening like youโd just short-circuited him.
you pulled back, already laughing.
his face was covered in red lipstick marks โ bright, fresh, and very obviously from you.
โhehe, now youโre branded as mine.โ you grinned, turning the mirror towards him so he could see the damage.
sieun stared.
then stared harder.
expression flat, but his ears a violent shade of red.
โโฆdoes this come off?โ he asked finally, voice painfully plain.
โyes, of course! see?โ you grabbed a cotton pad, poured micellar water on it, wiped your own lips confidently.
but nothing came off.
barely a smear.
his eyes flickered from your lips, to the cotton pad, to your lips again โitโฆ didnโt come off, y/n.โ his voice was slow and cautious, like he was trying to run calculations on a situation he absolutely could not compute. and underneath that calm exterior, his brain was exploding.
you stared at him for a second.
โwhat?โ
you rubbed at your lips again. then again.
nothing.
you frowned, flipped the lipstick over, and there it was in microscopic letters: extra waterproof.
you let out the most awkward little giggle and slowly turned to sieun, holding the tube up like a confession โumโฆ soooโฆโ
he looked at the packaging. then at your lips. then back at the packaging.
another sigh โ long, tired, very him.
โwhatever. weโre gonna be late.โ he said, heading to the door and already sliding into his shoes.
โwaitโ wait, youโre ACTUALLY going to school like this??โ you shouted, practically sprinting after him to the front door.
โi canโt skip school. itโs fine.โ he said casually.
you just stared at him, because this was the same boy who hated pda, who barely let you hold his hand in public unless the sun was setting and literally no one was around.
half the school didnโt even know you two were dating, thatโs how discreet he was.
and yet here he was. calm and completely serious about going out looking like this.
the walk to school was torture.
you thought he would be the flustered one, but no, somehow you ended up blushing harder than sieun, who walked beside you like he didnโt have your bright red kisses stamped all over his face.
students stared. whispered. pointed.
because to be fair it didnโt take a genius to connect the dots: your perfectly done red lipstick + his face covered in the exact same shade = you two were not subtle. at all.
you tugged at his sleeve, mumbling โsieunโฆ seriouslyโฆ itโs not too late to turn back home, people are staringโโ
โignore them.โ he said calmly, as if it was nothing.
you swore he was blushing this morning. you knew it.
but now?
nope. composed. annoyingly unbothered.
you, meanwhile, were ready to dissolve into thin air.
but nothing prepared you for entering the class.
the moment suho looked up from his desk and saw you two in the doorway, his stoic face twitchedโฆ and then completely cracked. he doubled over, laughing, full, uncontrollable, borderline wheezing laughter.
โno way. no freaking wayโโ he wheezed, pointing directly at sieun โbro, whatโ what happened to your faceโโ
โshut up.โ sieun muttered, already heading to his seat.
but suho was only getting started.
โwoah, sieun,โ he said, laughing harder โi didnโt know you were a loverboy like that.โ
you felt your soul leave your body.
suho came to sieunโs desk, eyeing the red stains like he was inspecting a crime scene evidence.
โaish man seriously? at least have the decency to clean your face before showing up like this!โ he added, shaking his head with exaggerated disappointment.
โi tried to wash it off!โ you blurted out defensively โitโsโ itโs waterproofโโ
โclearlyโฆโ suho snorted โand you y/n, did you attack him? or is this your way of marking territory?โ
you immediately covered your burning face with your hands.
sieun sent suho a glaring look, definitely a warning.
suho just smirked, still amused, still teasing, but with that soft glint in his eyes that said he wasnโt actually being mean.
โunbelievable,โ he sighed dramatically โyou two show up like this and expect me not to say anything? get real.โ
and the rest of the school day didnโt get any better after this.
if anything, it got worse.
because suho decided that teasing you two was now his full-time job.
every time you or sieun made an eye contact with him, he puckered his lips dramatically and made the most obnoxious kissy noises.
mwah mwah mwah.
sieun just rolled his eyes so aggressively you were surprised they didnโt fall out.
โignore him.โ sieun muttered under his breath, not even looking up from his notebook.
โi am ignoring him.โ you whispered back.
you werenโt. not even a little.
by lunch, suho was still at it.
you sat down with your tray, sieun beside you, and instantly suho leaned forward with a smirk, cheeks full like a chipmunk.
โsoโโ he began, talking through a mouthful of rice โiโm gonna be honestโ sometimes i thought you two werenโt even dating. like, i seriously thought you were just pranking meโโ
โsuhoโฆโ you groaned, burying your face in your hands.
but he kept going.
โi mean, no hand-holding, no hugging, nothingโโ
sieun shot him a death glare.
suho ignored it.
โbut today?โ suho pointed a chopstick at you, then at sieun โtoday proved me wrong. because wow. that wasโ that was some serious dedication, y/n.โ
you choked on your water.
he turned fully to you now, squinting.
โactuallyโ how did you get him to sit still for that?โ he asked โlike, genuinely. this guy flinches when someone pats him on the shoulder. did you tie him down? drug him? hypnotize him? i need to knowโโ
โcan you chew,โ sieun cut in sharply โbefore you talk?โ
suho blinked.
and sieun didnโt stop there.
โand honestly,โ he added with that cold edge only he had โitโs no wonder no oneโs kissing you. you eat like an animal.โ
you wheezed.
suho put a hand over his heart like heโd been mortally wounded.
โwow,โ he whispered dramatically โhurtful. completely uncalled for. iโm reporting this to the ministry of friendship.โ
sieun just rolled his eyes and calmly stabbed another piece of kimchi.
you bit your lip to stop from smiling.
because even though he looked annoyedโฆ
his ears were pink.
however that wasnโt enough for suho, so he continued โy/n, you hear that? you really donโt care that youโre kissing a guy who spits venom from his lips?โ
you opened your mouth to respond, but he kept going.
โrespectfully, y/nโฆ how? why? are you okay? blink twice if he cursed you.โ
you kicked him under the table.
โOWโ okay, okay, iโm done,โ he groaned, rubbing his shin but still grinning like an idiot โiโm just saying. brave of you. someone had to say it.โ
the walk home was quiet at first โ the kind of quiet that wasnโt awkward, justโฆ full. full of all the things you wanted to say but didnโt know how.
you kept sneaking glances at sieun, who walked beside you with his hands at his sides, hair falling into his eyes, looking like he was pretending none of today happened.
finally, you couldnโt take it anymore.
โsieunโฆโ you murmured, tugging lightly at his sleeve โiโm reallyโฆ really sorry about all of that. i didnโt mean for you to go to school looking likeโโ
โlike someone beat me with your lipstick?โ he said flatly.
you winced โyes. exactly. i swear i thought it wasnโt waterproof andโ i promise, when we get home, iโll try everything to get it off. oil cleanser, micellar, evenโโ
โy/n.โ
you blinked. his voice was quiet. careful.
he paused in the middle of the sidewalk and looked at you with that intense, unreadable gaze he got when he was fighting himself internally.
there was the faintest pink dusting his cheeks.
โi didnโtโฆ mind.โ
your breath hitched.
โhuh?โ
he looked away, ears turning red now too โi said i didnโt mind.โ
you stared at him, stunned.
his fingers twitched like he wanted to hide his face in his sleeves, but instead he kept talking, words a little rushed, like he wanted them out before he lost the nerve.
โit was embarrassing,โ he admitted โobviously. and suho wonโt shut up about it for a month.โ
a tiny, awkward pause.
โbutโฆ it felt kind of nice.โ
you blinked again โniceโฆ?โ
he nodded once, stiff but sincere.
โthat everyone saw.โ
a beat.
โthat youโre mine.โ
your heart flipped.
โand iโm yours,โ he added quietly โwithout us having toโฆ do anything extra.โ
the air went warm between you, buzzing with something soft and shy and overwhelmingly tender.
you stepped closer, just a little, and his eyes flickered to your red lips for half a second before he tore them away, flustered beyond saving.
โsoโฆโ you whispered, smiling softly โyou liked my lipstick attack?โ
he groaned โdonโt call it that.โ
you laughed and looped your arm through his.
he let you.
and he didnโt complain once the whole way home.
BONUS เป๊ฑ:
the moment you two got back to his apartment, you dropped your bag and marched straight to the bathroom like a soldier on a mission.
โsit.โ you ordered, pointing at the edge of his bed.
sieun raised an eyebrow, but obeyed โ a little too quickly, honestly โ sitting stiffly with his hands in his lap, eyes following you as you gathered every makeup remover product known to mankind.
โokay. round two. this time it will come off.โ
he muttered โi said i donโt mindโฆโ
โshh,โ you said, climbing onto your knees in front of him โi mind. youโre not going to bed looking like you got mauled by me.โ
โi did get mauled by you.โ he mumbled.
your hands froze. face heated.
he did not just say that.
โsโshut up..โ you whispered.
his lips twitched โ dangerously close to a smirk. a rare sight.
you dipped a cotton pad in cleansing oil and gently cupped his chin.
the moment your fingertips touched his face, sieun went rigid.
like someone unplugged him.
โrelax..โ you said softly.
โi am relaxed..โ he lied, shoulders up to his ears.
you rolled your eyes and began wiping away. exceptโฆ the red stains barely budged.
you scrubbed a little harder.
โow.โ
โsorryโโ
โitโs fine.โ he said instantly, even though his eye was twitching.
you tried again.
nothing.
you pulled back, holding the pad up. โokayโฆ why is it not coming off? this is literally cleansing oil.โ
he stared at the pad โ clean as your crimes โ then looked at you.
โโฆmaybe itโs a sign.โ he said quietly.
you blinked โa sign of what?โ
his voice dropped, soft and low and stupidly sweet.
โthat you shouldโฆ leave it.โ
your breath stalled.
he met your gaze for half a second before looking away, ears red again.
โi meant what i said earlier,โ he muttered โi like it. even if itโs embarrassing.โ
you couldnโt help it โ a smile pulled at your lips, slow and warm.
you reached out, brushing your thumb gently across one of the stubborn stains on his cheek.
โyouโre cute like this.โ you whispered.
his inhale was sharp.
โd-donโt say stuff like that.โ he said, voice cracking.
โwhy not?โ
โbecause,โ he muttered, eyes flicking anywhere but you โi wonโtโฆ be able to think straight.โ
you grinned.
โgood.โ
he stared at you for a few seconds and then, with all the awkward, quiet determination in the world, he leaned forward and nudged his forehead against yours.
not a kiss.
not yet.
just a tiny, shy, warm press.
โyouโre the one who attacked me,โ he whispered โbut iโm the one losing my mind right now...โ
your heart melted.
and the stains?
yeah, they stayed.
the whole night.
fin.
if youโd like to read more of my work make sure to check out my weak hero masterlist !! เฌ(เฉญหแตห)เฉญ
Do you write for Study Group? Iโm interested in how you would write for Yandere!Si-eun x Reader x Yandere!Ga-min. If you donโt, then you can just do Yandere!Si-eun. Thanks!
accidental
yandere! yeon sieun x fem! reader | weak hero class 1 โ
pairing: yandere! yeon sieun x fem! reader
wc: 6.6k
genre: dark romance, strangers to lovers
warnings: stalking, obsession, possessiveness, sexual harassment (not by sieun), bullying, canon violence, suggestive, usage of y/n, intended lowercase
โคท disclaimer: this is purely a work of fiction and the themes here shouldnโt be romanticized. please read at your own risk. minors dni.
summary: you met sieun by accident โ ordinary, unremarkable. but the โaccidentsโ kept happening, piling up, and you never realized it was him orchestrating them all, loving you so fiercely it was meant to scare youโฆ and yet it didnโt.
authorโs note: i havenโt watched study group yet unfortunately but itโs on my watch list! also ;; iโm gonna be honest writing this story was kind of difficult for me, since i couldnโt really picture sieun being the โclassicโ yandere, however itโs true that in s2 he was willing to kill when it came to suho, so my writing is coming from how protective sieun was over suho by the end of s1 (he did mess up wooyoung bad lmao) and all throughout s2 a lot. hope i managed to capture his personality well! โก likes, comments and reblogs are super appreciated .แ
ps: thereโs also a moment that references this chainsaw man scene haha
you and sieun met for the first time completely by accident.
he was on the bus on his way to cram school, sitting quietly in his seat, gaze fixed on the window, shutting out the world around him. he ignored how packed the bus was, bodies pressed together, footsteps shuffling, voices blending into noise. in his seat, tucked away from the chaos, he was comfortable.
then the bus jerked to a sudden, rough stop.
and someone fell into his lap with a tiny, high-pitched squeak.
you.
before you even realized what happened, you were practically nose-to-nose with sieun, breath brushing his cheek. you froze, eyes wide, then scrambled up so fast you nearly tripped again.
โiโ iโm so sorry!โ you blurted out, flustered beyond belief โthe bus stopped too fast, i shouldโve held on tighterโ iโm really sorryโโ
normally, sieun wouldโve been irritated. he didnโt like being touched, noticed, or talked to. if it were anyone else, he wouldโve just nodded once and gone right back to the window.
but youโฆ
you caught his attention.
not that heโd admit it.
โitโs okay,โ he said, standing up abruptly โyou can sit.โ
he didnโt know why he offered. he just acted instinctively. something about you made it feel natural.
you blinked up at him, cheeks warm, and sat down shyly. he moved to stand beside your seat, his posture almostโฆ protective, shielding you from the crowd pressing in from all sides.
โeveryone alright?โ the bus driver called out. a few mumbled responses followed, and the bus rolled forward again.
but sieun wasnโt thinking about the bus anymore.
he was thinking about you.
you sat stiffly, clutching the straps of your worn-out bag, the straps fraying, the fabric faded, decorated with cute pins of characters he didnโt recognize. your school uniform was from a nearby girlsโ school, not a fancy one. your lip gloss caught the light when you bit your lip anxiously.
you looked uncomfortable in the crowd.
you looked small.
you lookedโฆ cute.
cute?
his eyes widened slightly, and he snapped his gaze forward, stare locking onto nothing.
that wasโฆ
weird.
he didnโt think things like that. he didnโt feel things like that. not for strangers.
yet his heart beat just a bit faster.
and for the first time in a very long time, yeon sieun found himself disturbed โ not by you falling into his lapโฆ but by the unfamiliar warmth curling in his chest when he looked at you.
the second time you and sieun met was also an accident.
suho had dragged sieun and beomseok out to some restaurant that he swore had โthe best fried chicken in the whole world.โ
sieun wasnโt thrilled. heโd much rather be studying, but no one could ever win against ahn suhoโs relentless enthusiasm, so here he was.
the moment they stepped inside, though, sieun froze.
you were there.
sitting at a table packed with people your age โ girls in the same school uniform as you, and a few guys who lookedโฆ wrong. loud, obnoxious, grinning like they owned the room.
and you, sitting on the edge of the cushioned bench, gripping the hem of your skirt so tightly your knuckles were white.
you didnโt fit in with them.
not even a little.
then one of the guys slung an arm over your shoulders. you jolted, the exact same startled look from the bus flickering across your face.
โy/n!โ he cooed, way too familiar.
y/nโฆ so that was your name.
โletโs make a deal,โ the guy said, leaning in close to your ear with a sleazy smirk โif you kiss me, you donโt have to pay for our meal today. if you donโt, youโre covering for the rest of the school year. so? what do you say?โ
immediately you tried to pull away, but the girl across from you grabbed your wrists, holding you still. one of the girls lifted her phone to film this whole ordeal, another snorted something about how kissing you would probably be โgross.โ
and sieunโฆ sieun saw red.
before suho could even ask what was wrong, sieun was already moving โ cutting through tables, chairs, startled waitresses โ eyes locked on you.
โleave her aloneโ he said, voice cold and flat.
the guy laughed โand who the hell are you? hey, y/n, you know this dude? did you get yourself a boyfriend behind our backs?โ
your eyes met sieunโs.
confused.
scared.
but there was hope too โ tiny, trembling, impossible to miss.
and something inside him snapped.
sieun grabbed the nearest fork off the table, and without hesitation โ without even blinking โ he drove it straight through the guyโs hand where it rested on the wooden table.
the scream tore through the restaurant.
beomseok gasped. suho shouted โsieun!โ and ran towards him, but it was too late โthe damage was already done.
โokayโ okay, thatโs enough, sieunโ suho said and sieun looked at him for half a second, calm as ever.
then he turned back to you.
he extended his hand gently, almost carefully, like the violence from two seconds earlier belonged to a different person entirely.
you didnโt look back at your โfriends.โ
you didnโt look at the chaos unfolding behind you.
you just took his hand.
your fingers slid into his like instinct, like relief, like escape.
and the moment you stood, he stepped slightly in front of you, shielding you from the shocked stares as suho and beomseok hurried the four of you out the door and away from the mess.
you ran away few blocks away from the restaurant and as you hid in some alleyway, suho immediately exploded.
โsieun, what the hell was that? you canโt just stab someone in public! again! first pens, now forks? are you serious?โ
beomseok hovered awkwardly beside him.
but sieunโฆ
sieun didnโt respond.
he wasnโt even listening.
his eyes were fixed on you โ the way your shoulders shook, the small tremble in your hands as you held your bag against your chest, trying to make yourself smaller.
he stepped a little closer, carefully, like he was approaching an injured animal.
โare you hurt?โ he asked, voice strangely gentle.
you shook your head quickly โn-noโฆ iโm okay. i justโโ your voice cracked, and you looked down, embarrassed.
โthank you. for earlier,โ you whispered โiโฆ i didnโt know what to do. iโm so tired of them. every day itโs something. and iโโ
your words broke off, swallowed by your attempt not to cry.
beomseok looked at you then โ really looked โ and something sad flickered in his eyes.
he knew that exhaustion. that quiet desperation.
โwe get it,โ he said softly โpeople can beโฆ cruel.โ
sieunโs gaze sharpened at that, but not in anger โ in recognition.
he understood too.
โyou donโt deserve thatโ beomseok said simply.
the four of you stood there in the cold, something heavy and unspoken settling between you.
then suho clapped his hands loudly, trying to shake the mood off.
โokay! emotional moment over! iโm still starving, and we risked getting banned from that place so someone owes me chicken.โ
he turned to you with a bright grin.
โcome with us! weโll treat you. right guys?โ
beomseok nodded politely. sieun didnโt move, but his eyes flicked to you โ unreadable, but waiting.
you smiled, timid and grateful.
โyouโve already done more than enough for me. really. iโฆ i should just go home now.โ
suho deflated dramatically.
โaww, cโmon, itโs just chickenโโ
but sieun spoke before he could finish.
โiโll walk youโ he said.
no hesitation. no question. just certainty.
you stiffened, cheeks warming.
โo-ohโฆ you donโt have toโโ
โi want toโ he said plainly.
and something in your chest unraveled just a little.
suho caught the way sieunโs eyes flickered the second you nodded. he didnโt miss a thing. immediately, he slung an arm around beomseokโs shoulders, grinning like he knew a secret he wasnโt supposed to know.
โokay, enjoy yourselves, me and beomseok are going to eatโ he sing-songed, even throwing in a very obvious wink.
sieun rolled his eyes so hard it was almost impressive, but he didnโt bother arguing. he just turned towards you, quiet as ever.
the walk to your neighborhood wasโฆ silent. comfortable, somehow. sieun wasnโt the type to fill the air with pointless words anyway. he didnโt need to.
instead, he watched.
the way you kept your head slightly lowered when you walked, like you didnโt want to take up too much space.
the way you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear every time the wind messed it up.
the way your shoes scuffed slightly with each step, like you were trying to walk softly even on concrete.
little things. small things. things he shouldnโt care about.
but they all did something to him โ something he couldnโt name without feeling ridiculous.
โso this is my neighborhoodโ you said suddenly, stopping at a quiet street. he blinked, realizing just how far the two of you had wandered. he hadnโt even noticed.
immediately his eyes swept the area โ the narrow sidewalk, the flickering streetlight on the corner. he took it all in, mapping it in his head without even thinking about it.
then he looked back at you.
โthank you once again,โ you said softly โit wasโฆ sieun, right? what you did means a lot to me.โ
you smiled โ small, shy, the kind you probably didnโt show often.
and his heart did that weird thing again. that uncomfortable skip, like it was reacting before he could.
โit was nothingโ he said, voice even.
then, after a beat โcan iโฆ get your number?โ
your breath caught โm-my number?โ
โso you can text me when you get home safeโ he added, so casually and plainly that you almost believed that was all it was. almost.
โoh. yeah, sure.โ
you typed your number into his phone, your fingers just barely brushing his. he didnโt move.
when you handed the phone back, he sent you a quick text, so that you had his number as well, and tucked the phone into his pocket with a quiet, firm nod.
โgoodnightโ you said, taking a small step back.
โtext meโ he replied.
not a request โ a certainty.
you didnโt even question it.
you waved once and then disappeared, heading towards your apartment building.
and sieun stood there for a long moment, staring at the spot youโd just been at โ heart still doing that strange, unwelcome flutter.
the third time you and sieun metโฆ it wasnโt an accident anymore.
he planned it. every second of it.
he was supposed to be studying โ a video of his mom explaining math formulas playing on his laptop โ but his eyes kept drifting, unfocused. every time he blinked, he saw you sitting in that restaurant booth, trembling under those filthy hands. he heard your voice, small and tired, telling him you were โso doneโ with the bullies.
and tomorrowโฆ you were going back there.
without him.
he paused the video. his leg bounced. then, before he could talk himself out of it, he typed the name of your school into the search bar.
not because he wanted to be a creep.
no. he told himself that over and over.
he justโฆ needed to make sure you were safe. that was all.
so the next day, after his classes ended, he walked straight to your school and positioned himself near the gate โ close enough to see you, far enough not to look like he was waiting for you.
he knelt down on the sidewalk, pretending to tie his shoelaces. he even rehearsed a sentence in his head โthereโs a bus that goes to my cram school nearby, i stopped for a second.โ
normal. casual. reasonable.
he stayed like that for minutes, hands hovering near his shoes, waiting.
untilโ
โsieun?โ
your voice. right behind him.
he tightened his grip on the laces so he wouldnโt immediately turn around and stare at you like he wanted to. then he glanced back, perfectly composed.
โoh. hi.โ he said, as if it really was nothing.
but then he stood โ and the moment he did, he noticed it.
your uniform. ripped right at the shoulder. the ribbon on your uniform barely holding up too, threads hanging, fabric stretched.
his expression didnโt change much. but something in his eyesโฆ froze.
โwhat happened?โ
you immediately looked away when he asked, fingers tightening around the strap of your bag.
โitโs nothing,โ you mumbled, trying to sound light โjustโฆ clumsy me, i guess.โ
sieun didnโt buy that for even half a second.
his eyes sharpened โwas it the girls?โ
you froze.
that was all the answer he needed.
his jaw clenched โ so quietly, so subtly โ but the change in him was unmistakable. something cold and dangerous slid behind his eyes, the same thing suho always warned people about.
โshould i take care of it?โ he asked, voice still calm, but with a certain edge โjust tell me if they touched you.โ
your breath hitched.
before he could take a step towards the school gate, you reached out on instinct โ your hands catching his.
his entire body jolted like youโd shocked him.
he looked down at your fingers wrapped around his, pink dust spreading across his cheekbones so fast he didnโt even have time to hide it.
โn-no,โ you whispered, holding on a little tighter โplease donโt do anything. i justโฆ i just wanna go home.โ
sieun swallowed, hard.
for a moment he didnโt move at all โ like your touch pinned him to the earth.
then he sighed, shoulders lowering a fraction.
โโฆfine.โ
he wasnโt happy about it, but heโd listen if you asked.
you started walking together, silence settling softly between you. after a minute, you glanced at him.
โbutโฆ what were you even doing at my school anyways?โ you asked, confused.
โah.โ he looked forward again, slipping into his practiced excuse โthereโs a bus stop nearby. i was just on my way to cram school.โ
you laughed a little โreally? thatโs kinda funny. we keep running into each other everywhere. like itโs fate or something.โ
you smiled up at him, warm and innocent.
you had no idea.
no idea that he had searched your school last night.
no idea that he had stood here for ten whole minutes pretending to tie shoes that were already tied.
no idea how tightly he was gripping the sleeve of his bag to stop himself from reaching for your hand again.
โyeah,โ sieun murmured, eyes softening as he watched you โfate.โ
only he knew it wasnโt.
only he knew heโd make sure it kept happening.
and as he promised โ or rather, as he calculated โ the โaccidentalโ meetings kept piling up.
at first they felt strange.
then suspicious.
then almostโฆ familiar.
but to you, they seemed like coincidences.
to him, they were perfectly timed steps in a plan heโd never admit he was making.
your next encounter was at a local library.
you came there after school, hugging your books, looking for a quiet corner to study.
the moment you turned into the reading room, you froze.
sieun was already there. hunched over a thick textbook, earphones in, body perfectly still.
you hesitated before walking in โ he looked so focused, so intensely absorbed, you didnโt want to disturb him.
but somehow, without lifting his head, he said to you โyouโre blocking the light.โ
your heart jumped.
โo-oh! sorryโโ
you scurried to a corner table, cheeks warm.
he didnโt look at you, not even once.
but every few minutes, he slightly shifted.
just enough to keep you in the corner of his vision.
as you packed your things later, he rose too.
at the same time.
almost like he had been waiting.
and offered to walk you home.
you went there again three days later, this time to a different floor, hoping for quiet.
he found you anyway.
you stood on your toes, reaching for a book on the top shelf when another hand brushed the spine.
you startled.
โahโ!โ
โyouโll fallโ he said, grabbing the book effortlessly and handing it to you.
your fingers brushed his.
you yanked your hand back, flustered.
โt-thanksโฆโ
he stared down at you, expression unreadable โwhy do you keep coming here alone?โ
โiโฆ dunno. i like it. itโs peaceful.โ
he exhaled once through his nose โ not annoyance, not quite โ something tense and restrained.
โbe careful,โ he said โsome people are watching.โ
you thought he meant the storeโs customers.
you didnโt know he meant himself watching everyone around you.
then one late evening two weeks later your cram school ended and you ducked into the nearest convenience store craving something sweet.
you opened the fridge door โ and nearly screamed.
he was standing on the other side, staring right at you.
โsieun?!โ you clutched your chest.
he didnโt flinch.
โyouโre loud.โ
your ears burned with embarrassment โs-sorryโฆโ
without looking away, he reached into the fridge and held out your favorite drink.
you blinked at it, stunned.
โitโs on sale. here.โ he said flatly.
โohโฆ thank youโ you murmured.
he paid for his things and left without a goodbye, but when you stepped outside, he was still there, leaning against the wall, pretending to check his phone, eyes flicking towards you the moment you passed.
you had no idea that this store was completely out of his way and he came there just for one reason โ for you.
next encounter happened the same week. rain poured like the sky was collapsing.
you ran to the stop, completely soaked, hugging your backpack to your chest.
and thenโ
โyouโre wetโ he said simply.
you gasped when you saw him standing there, umbrella tilted toward you without explanation.
โw-what are you doing here?โ
โwaiting.โ
โforโฆ the bus?โ
he didnโt answer.
instead, he stepped closer until the umbrella covered you fully โ and left himself getting drenched.
โyouโll get sickโฆโ you whispered.
โi wonโtโ he said โbut you will.โ
your heart thudded strangely.
the bus came.
you both got on.
he took the seat beside you without asking.
and behind all these โcoincidences,โ his thoughts only got sharper. darker. firmer.
he studied you whole โ your routine, your habits, your favorite places, your weak points, your fears, the people who bothered you, the ones he already wanted gone.
he learned everything.
not because he meant harm.
but because something inside him had already decided that you were his to protect.
which is why, when you giggled one afternoon and said โwould you ever wanna actually hang out? since we keep running into each other like this constantlyโฆโ
he nodded casually, like it was nothing โsure.โ
but inside?
inside he was already planning where, when, how, and what would happen next.
because fate had nothing to do with it.
he had been making sure you crossed paths with him every single time.
the hangout plan was simple โ grab some refreshing drinks at a food truck and then take a walk through the little park you said you loved.
the one with the flowers that bloomed even when everything else felt cold.
you told him it was your โcomfort place,โ somewhere you liked to clear your mind.
but sieun already knew that.
heโd known long before you mentioned it.
so when the school day ended, he headed straight there and ended up arriving way earlier than heโd planned.
the path was quiet, flowers swaying gently in the breeze, petals catching the fading light.
he glanced at his watch. thirty minutes too soon, but that was fine. he liked being early โ better to wait than to be late.
then his phone buzzed.
from you.
y/n: sorry sieun, i canโt make it. something came up.
he froze.
the text wasnโt anything alarming on its own, exceptโฆ it was from you.
you almost never texted.
ever.
his stomach dropped. something was off.
the phrasing, the tone โ too clipped. too careful.
and with the way he knew you? that meant something bad was happening.
he scanned the park, eyes sharp. empty benches, childrenโs laughter in the distance, joggers passing by. no sign of you.
he moved faster, retracing steps he had memorized like a map from the previous days โ the library, the cafรฉ, the bus stop, even the hidden corners he knew you liked to sit in when no one else was around.
his hands balled into fists, jaw tight. every second without you felt like a lifetime.
finally, he made his way back to your neighborhood.
the streets were quiet. the sun was dipping below the horizon, and the shadows of the buildings stretched long.
and there you were.
your shoulders slumped, backpack hanging heavily on your back.
your hair was messy from the wind, eyes barely able to stay open.
he noticed the faint redness on your neck โ a hickey โ half-hidden by your collar.
โy/nโฆโ his voice was low, dangerous, full of worry.
he immediately rushed to your side, hands gripping your arms lightly to steady you.
โwhat happened? are you okay? tell meโ i need to know youโre okay.โ
you blinked up at him, exhausted, ashamed, but alsoโฆ relieved to see him.
he didnโt let go.
not now.
not ever.
even in the dim light, with your body trembling from exhaustion, he could see it all. and his chest ached.
as he held your arms, you let yourself fold into him, your forehead resting lightly against his shoulder.
he wasnโt warm โ not exactly โ but he was steady, and right now that was all you needed.
his hand hovered awkwardly for a second before settling on your back, stiff at first, then tightening as if he couldnโt help himself.
after a few long, quiet minutes, your voice came out small โsorry for not showing up, sieunโฆ would you like to go to my place insteadโฆ?โ
he froze.
you could feel him gulp, his breath catching.
then a quiet, controlled nod.
you led him through the dim streets to your apartment โ no lights on, no shoes by the door, just silence.
and sieun felt something in his chest twist sharply.
just like meโฆ always coming back to an empty home.
weโre the same.
โdo you want tea, orโโ
โwho did it, y/n?โ
the words cut through the room like a knife. cold. immediate. no hesitation.
his eyes didnโt move from the mark on your neck, the faint bruise that stood out against your skin like an offense carved into you.
you gave a weak, tired smile โremember the guys from the fried chicken place? yeah. do iโฆ need to say more?โ you laughed, but it was hollow, broken at the edges.
and when you tried to brush it offโ
โbut they didnโt go any further than this, donโt worry. itโฆ could be worse.โ
โsomething in him snapped.
his jaw clenched so tightly it almost shook.
his hands curled into fists at his sides, knuckles whitening.
you saw only a worried boy standing in your kitchen.
but on the inside there was a storm unfolding inside him.
they touched you.
they dared to put their hands on your skin.
they thought they could leave a mark on something that isnโt theirs.
you came home shaking and drained and they laughed about it, probably, while you walked alone.
i shouldโve been there.
i should never have let you go by yourself.
you shouldnโt have to deal with this at all โ if you were with me, if you stayed by me, no one would dare.
his breathing grew quieter, deeper.
he stepped towards you.
โy/n,โ he said softly, but the softness didnโt reach his eyes โtell me their names.โ
you shook your head immediately, but he didnโt look away.
he just stood there, expression unreadable, gaze burning.
if you wonโt tell me, iโll find out myself.
i already know where they work.
iโve already watched them once. it wonโt be hard.
he reached out and brushed your hair behind your ear, gentle and careful, yet his fingers trembled, as if trying to restrain something much darker inside him.
โthis wonโt happen againโ he murmured.
a promise, a threat โ both.
โnot to you.โ
you exhaled shakily, and for a moment he just stared at you โ really stared.
like he was memorizing every flicker of your expression, every tiny movement of your beautiful lips, every bruise on your skin that did not belong there.
by now, sieun couldnโt wake up without thinking about you.
couldnโt walk home without checking the streets you took.
couldnโt study without imagining you sitting beside him.
you had slipped into his world slowly, completely by accident, until there was no part of his life left untouched by you.
you didnโt know it, but he had rearranged entire days around your safety. your comfort. your smile.
and the thought of someone hurting you again made something cold twist violently inside him.
โdonโt come to school tomorrow,โ he said, voice flat, steady โ the way it always got when he had already made up his mind โstay home. iโm gonna take care of your bullying problem.โ
he turned, already planning, already calculating, already ready to walk out your door and ruin anyone who dared lay a hand on you.
but your breath hitched, and your fingers gently curled around his.
just that tiny touch froze him in place.
just you.
โbeโฆ carefulโฆ please.โ
his eyes flicked down to where your hand held his.
so small.
so trusting.
so warm.
for a second, something in him cracked open โ a terrifying tenderness he wasnโt used to feeling.
โi willโ he said quietly.
because for you, heโd be careful.
for you, heโd be ruthless.
for you, heโd burn the whole world if he had to.
the next day, sieun skipped school.
it was so unlike him that suho and beomseok both spammed his phone, the notifications lighting up his pocket over and over โ but he ignored every single one.
he never put anyone before his studies.
never.
until you.
he walked straight to your school, expression blank, steps precise.
he had already memorized the buildingโs layout last night, piecing it together from every photo, every mention youโd ever made, every scrap of information he could dig up.
and when he finally found the classroom the girls were in, he didnโt knock. he just opened the door and walked in.
the room went still.
โuhโ who are you?โ one girl scoffed, adjusting her lip gloss.
another one whispered that he looked creepy.
someone else laughed nervously, pointing out that heโs that weird guy from the fried chicken place.
sieun didnโt react.
he just stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, eyes scanning the room one by oneโฆ cold. calculating.
finally, his gaze landed on the main girl โ the one whose nail marks he had notice on your wrist that day, when she was trying to hold you in place, when that disgusting guy was touching you.
she froze.
sieun took a slow step towards her desk.
just one.
and somehow the whole room felt smaller.
โyouโ he said quietly โstand up.โ
she scoffed again, but it cracked at the edges.
โwโwhy? who the hell do you think youโโ
he dropped something on her desk.
your ripped uniform ribbon.
her face drained of color.
si-eun leaned in slightly, just enough so only she could hear โtouch her again,โ he whispered, voice low and steady โand iโll make sure everyone in this school knows everything youโve been hiding.โ
her eyes widened โ because the folder under his arm?
it had her name on it.
and si-eun didnโt bluff.
โi donโt hit girls,โ he continued, straightening up โbut i donโt need to.โ
then he turned to the rest of them โ the whole group shrinking under the weight of his stare.
โsheโs not alone anymore,โ he said simply โtry anythingโฆ and youโll regret it.โ
he didnโt shout.
he didnโt threaten violently.
he didnโt have to.
the girls were already trembling, gathering their bags, ready to run โ but si-eun wasnโt finished.
he paused in the doorway and looked back.
โwhere are the guys?โ
no one answered.
his eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly.
โi wonโt ask twice.โ
one of the girls โ the one who mocked you the loudest โ broke down instantly.
โt-theyโre at the gym! the one a few blocks awayโ behind the convenience store! that one!โ
sieun nodded once.
like that was the answer he expected.
and then he left.
the gym smelled like sweat and metal, grimy and loud โ and si-eun walked straight in, ignoring every stare.
the guys were clustered near the weights, laughing, bragging, alive with that ugly energy he remembered all too well.
the one who tried to forcefully kiss you the other day was the first to notice him.
โhey, youโre that kid from the restaurant.โ he grinned โthe fork stunt that you pulled because of that babe was craโโ
he didnโt finish.
si-eun grabbed a dumbbell โ small enough to lift quickly, heavy enough to break a bone โ and smashed it onto the guyโs foot with a terrifying precision.
the scream that tore out of him echoed across the gym.
three others lunged at si-eun at once.
he ducked under the first punch, calculating distances, angles, momentum โ he didnโt have strength, but he didnโt need it.
he fought like math.
a weight bar to block.
a quick shove that sent someone stumbling into a machine.
a heel to a knee joint, perfectly placed.
but he took hits, too.
because he was still human.
a fist split his lip.
another left his ribs throbbing.
he didnโt stop.
he couldnโt.
not when the image of your tired eyes, your shaking hands, that damned bruised mark on your neck burned behind his eyelids.
finally, he forced the last guy down, pinning him with a forearm across his throat โ not enough to choke, but enough to remind him he could.
si-eun wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.
his voice was low, almost bored.
โlisten carefully.โ
the guy under him froze.
โif you ever touch her againโฆ if you even look at her in a way i donโt likeโฆโ
he leaned in closer, expression flat, emotionless.
โiโll kill you.โ
the guy started shaking.
hard.
โo-okayโ okayโโ
โnot โokayโโ si-eun corrected, tightening his grip briefly โnever again.โ
he let go and stood, breathing hard, bruised, split lip dripping red.
the gym was silent.
everyone watched him leave โ a thin, quiet boy with blood on his chin and murder in his eyes.
and si-eun didnโt look back once.
he had one goal now.
one person.
you.
you stayed home like he told you to.
you curled up on the couch with a cup of tea, trying to distract yourself, but your mind kept circling back to him.
youโd be lying if you said he didnโtโฆ scare you a little.
you werenโt stupid.
it was strange how often he appeared wherever you were, how he always seemed to know things you never told him.
there was something in his eyes, something sharp and unreadable, something that made your heart quicken for reasons you couldnโt name.
but that same gaze always softened when it landed on you.
and compared to the people who actually hurt youโฆ a boy who fought for you, who stood in front of you every time, didnโt feel like a threat.
at least not to you.
still, the silence of your apartment made it too easy to overthink, too easy to replay every moment in your head.
your fingers tapped anxiously against your mug.
then โ a faint knock, barely there.
your breath hitched as you stood and opened the door.
and there he was.
blood smeared across his lip.
bruises darkening along his jaw.
one hand pressed against his ribs like he was holding himself together.
his eyes, however, were calm. eerily calm.
โitโs done,โ he said quietly โthey wonโt bother you anymore.โ
no pride.
no explanation.
just the truth, dropped into the small space between you like a confession.
you didnโt ask what he did.
you didnโt need to.
you grabbed his wrist gently and pulled him inside, already searching for the first aid kit.
your hands were shaking. not from fear, but from how badly you wanted to fix him.
he sat on the couch without complaint, watching you in that steady way he always did.
you knelt in front of him and dabbed at the dried blood on his lip, reaching towards a bruise on his cheekโ
but his hand came up suddenly, fingers curling around your wrist.
you froze.
looked up.
his voice was low, rough, like each word was dragged out of him.
โdonโt go anywhere without me now.โ
your breath caught.
โyou wonโt need school anymore. iโm smart. i can teach you everything at home.โ
his thumb brushed slowly over the inside of your wrist.
โyouโll be safe. always. under my control.โ
your heart pounded, but you didnโt pull away.
his eyes softened then โ dangerously gentle.
โiโฆ i love you, y/n.โ
his voice cracked, just a little.
โand if something happened to youโโ
he swallowed, jaw tightening.
โiโd lose my mind.โ
he waited.
for your fear.
for your rejection.
for anything that would make him step back.
but you looked at him โ bruised, trembling, desperate โ and something inside you eased.
you nodded.
a tiny, fragile movement.
โokay.โ
his fingers tightened around your hand, like he had finally been given permission to breathe.
after this you slowly started to patch him up properly. he tried not to react โ but he couldnโt hide it. not from you.
your fingers brushed the cut on his cheek.
his breath hitched.
your palm steadied his jaw.
his eyelashes fluttered, throat tightening.
every place you touched burned โ not with pain, but something far worse. something heโd been trying to smother for days now. he felt your warmth seep into him, seep under his skin, seep into the spaces heโd locked off from everyone else his entire life.
and you didnโt pull away.
you stayed.
with him.
it nearly broke him.
his eyes drifted to the hickey on your neck like a magnet, dark and ugly against your skin. he reached out, fingers trembling as they traced the mark โi hate that they thought they could do this to youโฆโ
your expression shifted instantly. you stepped back, covering the mark with your hand, avoiding his gaze. embarrassed. ashamed.
โdonโtโฆ remind me. please. i feel disgusting walking around with this. iโฆ never wanted my first kiss, or anything soโ i donโt knowโ intimate like thisโฆโ
your voice wavered, soft, honest in a way it had never been before.
โi wanted someone who matters to touch me like that. notโฆ them.โ
sieun blinked. once. twice.
โdo i matter?โ he asked, voice plain โ too plain โ but inside him everything crashed and twisted at once. jealousy. anger. disgust. possessiveness. sadness. love. lust.
he hated that they hurt you.
hated that they touched something that was never theirs to touch.
โhuh?โ you looked up at him again, confused for a second, then your expression softened. after a moment of quiet thought, you nodded.
โyeahโฆ i think you do.โ
your cheeks warmed instantly, because you knew exactly what you were implying. so did he.
something in sieun stuttered โ a breath, a heartbeat, the thin thread of restraint heโd been clinging to.
his eyes dropped to the mark on your neck again. his jaw tightened, then he leaned in just a little, enough for you to feel the heat of his breath.
โand if i hid that ugly mark with my ownโฆโ he murmured, voice low, eyes locked on yours โwould you mind?โ
you swallowed nervously.
agreeing felt terrifying. but it also felt safe andโฆ with sieun it felt almost right.
โiโฆ i wouldnโt mindโ you whispered, voice small but sure.
his breath hitched โ just enough for you to notice โ and you shifted closer, sitting down beside him. your knee brushed his, and somehow that tiny touch made his shoulders tense, like he was trying not to tremble.
you leaned in first, barely, a soft nudge of your lips against his.
he kissed you back โ shy, clumsy, almost hesitant. it was obvious he didnโt have any real experience, his movements unsure, searching, learning you in real time.
but you werenโt any better.
so you didnโt mind.
you just let him kiss you.
slowly, like the gravity between you was pulling him down, he braced a hand beside your hip and leaned over you until your back met the couch cushions. his hair fell a little into his eyes, the bruises on his face made him look even softer, somehow.
โtell me if you want me to stopโ he murmured, breath brushing your skin.
you shook your head and that was all he needed.
his lips trailed downwards, slow and careful, giving you chance after chance to pull away. he reached the mark on your neck, and for a moment he only pressed a gentle kiss there. a question. a warning. a promise.
you let out a soft, shaky sigh.
and something in him snapped loose at that soft sound of yours.
his mouth closed over the mark and then he began to suck, deliberate and unhurried. like he could erase every trace of what they did. like he could overwrite it with himself. like cleansing a wound, purifying something sacred that had been dirtied.
each slow pull of his lips felt like him saying mine mine mine without ever speaking a word.
and you didnโt push him away.
you couldnโt hold back the sounds that slipped out of you, breathy moans that you couldnโt control. your fingers gripped at the sleeves of his shirt, pulling him closer without even realizing it. and the moment he heard you, really heard you, he didnโt stop. couldnโt.
he moved lower, then higher, then across your throat, slow and possessive. each kiss turned into another mark, each mark darker than the last. he mapped your neck with his mouth, claiming every inch of skin they had touched, every place that made you shiver under him.
you were wriggling beneath him, face flushed, breaths coming unevenly. his weight above you, the heat of his body, the desperation in every kiss โ it all made your pulse race.
after a few minutes he finally pulled back, bracing himself above you. his elbows sank into the couch and he looked down at you through heavy lashes. his lips were swollen, darker now, his breath uneven. there was a tiny curve to his mouth, a hint of a smile you had never seen on him before โ dangerous in how soft it was.
โiโll make you happy, y/n,โ he whispered, voice rough and sure โnow that youโre mineโฆ thereโs nothing left in this world that can hurt you.โ
your heart stuttered in your chest, the words crashing over you like a tide you couldnโt fight.
and all you could do, all you wanted to do, was pull him back down.
you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again, deeper this time, trusting him, surrendering to him, letting him have you the way he had wanted from the very beginning.
and he kissed you like he planned to keep you forever. because he did.
fin.
if youโd like to read more of my work make sure to check out my weak hero masterlist !! เฌ(เฉญหแตห)เฉญ
THE AIR SMELLS OF BAY LEAVES AND FRANKINCENSE. SUNLIGHT GLEAMS OFF TOPAZ RIVERS AND AMBER BLADES OF GRASS โ
AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE.
" WELCOME HOME, SATORU. "
TAGS. gojo/reader, childhood friends to... something, pining, mostly follows canon plot except i yell objection every so often. typical jjk violence, gore, death. monk!reader. lots of talk about buddhism that i researched/based on my own experience but i'm not an expert (mostly based on mahayana/pure land/zen schools but it's really just "fantasy buddhism"); reader's clan's precepts are inspired by the midnight blades sect in where winds meet.
NOTES. this whole thing is incredibly self-indulgent so is it slice of life? yes. romance? yes. action? yes. pls nobody @ me about the pacing bc i know its a mess but i havent written a chaptered linear story like this in ages so just enjoy the vibes im beaming into your brain ty <3
you can comment on any post in this series to be added to the shiny new taglist! <3
The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism explain that everything is impermanent, but that humans crave and cling to impermanent things, causing suffering that blocks the path to that ultimate liberation. Raised in a strict religious clan with a history dating back millennia, you are one of jujutsu society's most trusted pillars of unwavering stability. Your role? To cull the weak and willing.
However, Gojo Satoru, with his eyes containing the heavens, sees not a killer, but a friend. Juggling the no-attachments expectations of your clan with Satoru's overwhelming affection is hard enough, but when your heart starts to hammer at the sight of his smile and every brush of his shoulder against yours, you find yourself at a crossroads โ one you cannot ignore.
โSu-Hyeok, what do you think of Nam-Raโs interpretation?โ
Class 2-5 all turn their heads to the back, tryingโbut failingโto suppress their laughter, awaiting what kind of nonsense would spew from Su-Hyeokโs mouth this time around.
โI agree. Sheโs 100% correct.โ
Some giggles slip through before Ms. Park silences them by holding her hand up. โGreat,โ Ms. Park says sarcastically, with an air of teasing. โNowโฆjust what do you agree with again?โ
Su-Hyeok doesnโt even falter, replying with, โIf she could be kind enough to repeat her response so that I can gather my thoughts more coherentlyโฆ.โ The whole class loses it right then and there.
His seat-mate further rubs salt into the wound by whispering between bouts of laughter, โYah, did you even have any thoughts to begin with?โ This earns him a glare, but he was too far gone to care.
Su-Hyeok grimaces, seeing the disappointment on Ms. Parkโs face mixed with amusement as she gestures for Nam-Ra to recite her previous statement again. With the amount of times he acts up in the same manner on a regular basis, heโs surprised and grateful that she still allows him to step foot into class for lessons.
Nam-Ra rises once more, her chair creaking slightly, though that doesnโt wake you up from your nap next to her. Currently, you were turned away from the window, left elbow flat on the desk surface as a makeshift pillow. โAll of us have some sort of prejudice. We all have preconceptions about other people.โ
โPrecisely,โ Ms. Park compliments. โThank you, Nam-Ra, for saying that twice.โ With her emphasis on the word, she fixes her stern gaze on Su-Hyeok, but her next words are the exact opposite. โBare-Su, please pay more attention to my lesson during class time and less on staring at your girlfriend, Y/N.โ She raises her eyebrows teasingly.
Su-Hyeok is quick to correct her, trying to suppress the heat he feels slowly making its way up to his face. โMs. Park,โ he says incredulously. โWeโre not together.โ
โEyyy,โ Dae-Suโs booming voice reverberates in the classroom. โNow youโre just making up lies.โ You stir at the loud sound, but itโs still not enough to make you open your eyes.
โIโm serious, Dae-Su,โ Su-Hyeok splutters.
โYet youโre not denying having stared at Y/N~,โ Wu-Jin drawls, giving Dae-Suโs awaiting hand a high-five with a resounding smack.
โYou guys, cut it out already!โ Su-Hyeok says exasperatedly to deaf ears. โMs. Park, how come Y/N is taking a sound nap in class, but Iโm the one being ganged up on?โ
โThis is the first time it has happened, and sheโs still ranked 3rd in the class. I can afford to let it slide,โ Ms. Park crosses her arms and smiles, entertained by Su-Hyeokโs excuses.
โIsnโt this blatant favoritism?โ Su-Hyeok mumbles under his breath.
โYou also favor Y/N, so you canโt be one to talk,โ his seat-mate teases him for the second time that day.
โYouโre not even on the baseball team so why are you so hell-bent on hitting home runs with your sassy remarks today, huh?โ Su-Hyeok slaps him upside the head.
โAlright, alright, settle down class. I think thatโs enough punishment for our Bare-Su today.โ When Ms. Park turns back to the blackboard, she says loud enough for the class to hear, โNo worries. We can just ask Y/N for confirmation when sheโs up.โ By how much the students were cracking up, it suddenly seems like a free period.
โSeonsaengnim!โ
At Su-Hyeokโs outburst, you wake up, trying to settle back into reality. Of course, Ms. Park notices your state of rousing. Sheโs not one to miss any little detail.
โAh, good morning to you, Y/N. So glad you can finally join us.โ Her words hold no malice at all, but youโre still sheepish.
Shyly scratching you head, you voice out, โI apologize for dozing off. Did I miss anything important?โ You finally notice all eyes on you. Well, save for Su-Hyeokโs. โGuysโฆ.? Why are you all looking at me like that?โ
โWellโ" Dae-Su begins but is cut off by Ms. Park.
โPlease refrain from sleeping again in my class as itโs a distractionโฆto some more than others.โ
Laughter rings loud and clear again, all directed towards Su-Hyeok as you turn to Nam-Ra for answers in bewilderment.
โBanjang, youโre the smartest one here. Whatโs going on?โ
Nam-Ra spares a glance at you with a slight smirk, an expression youโve never seen on her before, despite how much sheโs warmed up to you as her seat-mate and friend, though sheโs hesitant to admit to the latter.
โOh, itโs nothing,โ Nam-Ra says dismissively, but lightly. โMs. Park was just teaching Su-Hyeok about preconceptions.โ
ห เผโถ โ๏ฝกห โโท2. On-Jo
Linking your arm through Nam-Raโs while balancing your tray with your other hand, you pull her in the direction of where On-Jo and I-Sak were already seated with their own lunches piled high with food.
โSave some for the rest of us, On-Jo,โ you joke as you and Nam-Ra sit down on the opposite bench, pointing to your friendโs tray.
โHa ha, very funny,โ On-Jo pouts. โI donโt eat a lot; I just eat well.โ
โA little too well,โ Nam-Ra chimes in, causing you to choke on your banana milk in laughter and surprise. Since Nam-Ra started opening up to your friend group, you can already see the influence itโs had on her. Her conversations may still be minimal, but boy do they pack a punch.
While you all wait for the rowdy boys to join, I-Sak mimes pulling you, Nam-Ra, and On-Jo into a huddle and whispers, โSo, have you guys thought about whoโs asking who to the spring formal in a few months?โ Here, she raises her eyebrows and adds, โBetter yet, who are you hoping will ask you?โ
โAish,โ you rebuke. โI thought you were about to spill your biggest secret or something!โ
โHey, Iโm just curious! Not all of us are set and ready like you are, Y/N!โ I-Sak winks at you as youโre in the middle of chewing.
You finish your bite before replying, โHuh?โ
โWell, you and Su-Hyeok are already dating, so isnโt it obvious youโll be attending together?โ On-Jo answers.
Flabbergasted, you retort, โBut weโre not in a relationship. I thought that was whatโs obvious.โ Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.
โTsk, since when did you become so good at lying, our sweet and innocent Y/N?โ I-Sak pokes you with the clean end of her chopstick.
โThereโs nothing going on between us,โ you emphasize. โIโve known him since we were babies, and he definitely doesnโt like me in that way. I know that for a fact!โ You point from Nam-Ra, to On-Jo, and finally to I-Sak. โNot one more word from you guys, alright?โ
Nam-Ra slurps a spoonful of her seaweed soup loudly.
You turn to her and narrow your eyes. โNow, whatโs that supposed to mean?โ
โWell, you said not one more word,โ Nam-Ra says without missing a beat. โThat was a sound.โ
You could never win against Nam-Ra verbally. โDonโt tell me you agree with On-Jo and I-Sak,โ you say while facepalming. โLook guys, heโs really sweet, kind, caring, braveโฆโ Realizing youโre rambling when the girls give you a look, you blush and backpedal. โWhat I mean,โ you say as you fix them all with a gaze of finality, โis that itโd be weird. We grew up together, and we fight all the time.โ
โI like to call that loverโs quarrel,โ On-Jo states.
You roll your eyes and throw a clean crumpled napkin at her, which she manages to dodge.
โI also forgot nice smile, athletic, handsomeโ" I-Sak mimics your voice. You know itโs bad how spot-on it is when even Nam-Ra laughs.
โYah! Do you want to die?โ
On-Jo protects I-Sak from your slaps to her arm. โJust admit that you likeโ" On-Jo is interrupted by a voice you know all too well.
โLike what?โ Su-Hyeok asks, oblivious, as he plops down next to you, nudging your shoulder with his out of habit as the boys fill in the rest of the bench, focused on their own conversations.
โYeah, Y/N, what were you going to say?โ I-Sak prods, smiling wider than you thought humanly possible.
You plead with your eyes to Nam-Ra for help, but sheโs just the same as the other two, fixing you with a mischievous grin. Su-Hyeok looks at you expectantly, waiting for an answer.
โUhโฆI was just saying that I like,โ you stall as you look around for a way out. Your gaze lands on a drink everyone has on their tray. โThe banana milk!โ You cringe as the words leave your mouth.
โOh, in that case,โ Su-Hyeok hands over his bottle to you. โHere, you can have mine.โ
As he turns to his right to talk to Cheong-San, I-Sak flashes you a heart with her fingers discreetly, Nam-Ra elbows you in the arm playfully, and On-Joโyouโre going to get her big time for this.
Before Su-Hyeok is finished with his conversation and turns back to you, she mouths, โI love oo yoo.โ
ห เผโถ โ๏ฝกห โโท3. Cheong-San
You have no idea why your friends decided to play soccer during lunch when it was scorching hot out, especially a day before exams, but followed nonetheless. On-Jo and I-Sak opted out and were currently benched, acting as cheerleaders. You, however, got dragged into the game as Nam-Ra was the referee and she didnโt want to be the lone girl on the field.
The sun was starting to make you sweat, and you chalked it up to the heat beating down on your head for the sudden dizziness you were feeling. You shook your head and tried to focus on the game that was about to start.
Cheong-San was right next to you, and on the far end of the field you could see Su-Hyeok playing goalie. As Dae-Su kicked off signaling the first half, you began to stagger as your vision becomes unfocused. Just when Cheong-San is about to sprint off in the direction of the ball Dae-Su had kicked, you grab onto his arm, stopping him.
โCheong-San, I donโt feel too good,โ you say.
He steadies you by the shoulder and peers at your face. โY/N, youโre looking a little more than just pale. Do you think youโll be okay? Want to sit down for a minute with On-Jo and I-Sak?โ You close your eyes as your head spins but manage to give a weak nod when he checks your forehead temperature with his hand.
โHey! Whatโs going on over there?โ Someone screams across the field, questioning.
As Cheong-San takes your wrist to lead you back to the girls, your vision goes black and the last thing you remember is someone catching you to break your fall.
***
On-Jo and I-Sak were the first ones to reach you as Cheong-San tries to sit you up. He gets you to somewhat lean on his chest, an arm around your shoulder as the girls crowd around to see what they could do to help.
โIs Y/N alright?โ Not getting a response, Nam-Ra checks your pulse and breathing. โHer heartbeat is a little fast, one of the tell-tale signs of heat exhaustion. Perhaps that's the case?โ
โI think we should take her to the nurse either way,โ On-Jo says, I-Sak nodding in agreement.
โOn-Jo, come with me,โ Cheong-San directs, as he maneuvers you for a proper piggyback.
โMove,โ Su-Hyeok says, seriously.
โItโs okay, I got her,โ Cheong-San replies as On-Jo helps to stabilize you on his back.
โGuys, this isnโt the time to fight,โ Nam-Ra admonishes, pointing at your unconscious form.
Without another word, Su-Hyeok picks you up easily and carries you away, with Cheong-San and On-Jo in tow all the way to the infirmary.
Once there, On-Jo decided to go get some snacks since everyone skipped lunch, leaving the two boys behind with you after the nurse assessed your condition.
Cheong-San starts chuckling quietly as Su-Hyeok glares at him.
โWhy are you laughing?โ
โI donโt find the situation funny, if thatโs what youโre asking. Iโm worried for Y/N as well.โ
Su-Hyeok narrows his eyes at Cheong-San. โWhy?โ
Dumbfounded, Cheong-San replies, โWhy would you ask that? Sheโs a good friend. We grew up together too you know.โ
When Su-Hyeok doesnโt respond, Cheong-San nudges him with his foot under the bed to which the former just makes an incoherent noise. โYouโre jealous, arenโt you?โ
โIโm not jealous at all that you caught Y/N before she fainted.โ
โI never mentioned that,โ Cheong-San says between laughs, dimple on full display. โWould you rather I had dropped her to the ground? I donโt know why you would be mad when I was just lending a hand, and considering that you guys are dating and allโฆโ he trails off.
โWeโre not dating,โ Su-Hyeok says flatly.
โStop messing around with me Bare-Su,โ Cheong-San teases, tilting his head in the direction of your small hands that Su-Hyeok was currently enveloping in his large ones.
โYou idiot, Iโm not kidding. Weโre just friends; thatโs all.โ He doesnโt let go of your hands. If anything, he cradles them even tighter.
Cheong-San pauses, thinking whether to believe him or not. โOkay, hypothetically letโs say you guys arenโt togetherโ"
โHypothetically,โ Cheong-San stresses. โThen, do you like Y/N?โ
โThen, do you like On-Jo?โ
โI asked first!โ
โIโ"
When you open your eyes, youโre met with a white ceiling and curtains, the sound of the machine displaying your vitals beeping away. Recognizing that you were in the schoolโs infirmary due to the IV drip and the strong smell of antiseptic, the only thing you remembered was fainting. Everything after is a blur.
You hear hushed whispers and realize it was Su-Hyeok and Cheong-San in the room with you. โWhat are you two idiots arguing about this time?โ You rasp. Their heads whip towards you, shocked and simultaneously relieved.
โHow much of our conversation did you hear?โ
โThatโs the first thing you ask me? I donโt even get a โhow are youโ?โ You fake mock hurt at Su-Hyeokโs question.
โAre you okay?โ Cheong-San asks.
โI like Cheong-San better,โ you joke and stick your tongue out at Su-Hyeok as Cheong-San does the same.
โWe were worried sick but I guess youโre fine now that youโre back to bullying me,โ Su-Hyeok complains. โSo feisty for such a tiny human.โ
โEasy for you to carry,โ Cheong-San mutters, earning a kick from Su-Hyeok. โOUCH!โ He exclaims as he begins to rub his shin from the impact.
You look between the two of them, more confused than ever but decide to let it go. โWhy am I here again? I only know I passed out.โ
Su-Hyeok flicks you on the forehead. โThe nurse said you were dehydrated and it seemed like you didnโt eat or sleep well enough. Coupled with the heat exhaustion, your already tired body couldnโt handle it and you went down.โ
โOh.โ
โOh? Is that all you can say? You scared me to death. You stayed up late studying again huh?โ
โMaybeโฆโ You reply guiltily. The boys shake their heads at your predictable nature. You always study like crazy but this has never happened before, so you were going to make sure to not accidentally neglect self-care for good grades again. โHow did I get here from the field?โ
โCheong-San caught you andโ"
โAwww, you did?โ You sit up and spread your arms for a hug, having to let go of Su-Hyeokโs hands to do so. Cheong-San was going to return it until he turned to Su-Hyeok for permission.
โWhy do you need to ask whether heโd allow it?โ You roll your eyes. โMy arms are getting tired.โ You pull Cheong-San in for a hug and he returns the friendly gesture.
Just then, the door opens and On-Jo comes in with a plastic bag full of goodies. โY/N, youโre awake!โ She rushes over to squeeze the life out of you.
โOn-Joโฆcanโt breathe,โ you say in between pauses.
She lets you go and elbows Cheong-San. When he doesnโt get the hint, she takes him by the hand and drags him out, leaving the bag behind on the table for you. Just before the door closes, Cheong-San pops his head in again. โSu-Hyeok carried you in his arms all the way here!โ
โAISH!โ Su-Hyeok throws his backpack at the door, but the two had already left.
You turn to Su-Hyeok who wonโt meet your gaze. Poking his arm, you tease him. โSo, you do care.โ If you had been awake at the time, surely you would be a living tomato with the stares you know for a fact you would be getting from being transported that way across school grounds.
Su-Hyeok just breathes out exasperatedly. โMore than you know.โ He said the line so quietly, you wouldโve missed it if you werenโt paying attention.
Not knowing what came over you, you lean over and kiss him on the cheek. โThank you,โ you say. Both of you were surprised with matching blushes as proof.
Too embarrassed now for having been so bold, you make the excuse of feeling tired and lay down, turning your head to the other side to hide your smile. Su-Hyeok grabs your hand again even as you close your eyes.
His phone dings with a text and you hear him curse under his breath. โThat littleโโ
Which could only mean one thing: Cheong-San.
[ Text: Are you sure youโre not dating? I saw everything through the window ]
ห เผโถ โ๏ฝกห โโท4. Gyeong-Su
Youโre walking along the schoolโs skybridge when you hear someone calling.
โY/N! Wait up!โ
You stop and turn around, smiling when you see itโs Gyeong-Su. Heโs such a sweetheart that your friend group always has a soft spot reserved for him.
He pants as he comes to a stop next to you, falling into pace by your side. โGeez, for someone with such short legs, you walk incredibly fast.โ
โIs that all you wanted to say to me?โ You push him.
Gyeong-Su laughs. โNo, no. Iโm just kidding. I have a favor to ask.โ
โGlad to know you start asking for favors by first insulting the person.โ
โIโm sorry okay!โ He didnโt look sorry at all. โI need help with English. If I fail this next exam, Iโd have to retake the class and the teacher and I already donโt get along,โ he frowns.
โIโm not saying that I decline, but wouldnโt Nam-Ra be a better choice?โ
โSure, but she hasnโt studied abroad. You lived in New York for a year before high school.โ
โAlright, but if your English has the accent of a New Yorker, donโt say I didnโt warn you.โ
โBetter an accent than the Konglish Iโm speaking with in class. Everyone always laughs when I have to read something.โ
You giggle. โI can meet you in the library after our last class period. Itโs a Friday anyway so we donโt have school tomorrow, which means we can stay a little later than usual. Does that work for you?โ
โYes! Thank you so much, Y/N.โ Gyeong-Su looked so happy it was contagious. His smile suddenly falters as he leans in to tell you, โAlthough, I hope that you wonโt let Su-Hyeok know.โ
โWhat? What does he have to do anything?โ
Gyeong-Su looks at you like you had two heads growing from your neck, gazing pointedly. โWell, I certainly wouldnโt want him to be mad that Iโm spending time with you. Heโd beat me up. Itโs clear which of us would win in a fight, come on now.โ
โWhy would he be mad?โ You inquire, baffled.
โYou know, for ranking third place in class, youโre not as bright as I thought.โ
โWatch it,โ you warn, playfully angry.
โYouโre supposed to be tutoring me for language skills but here I am, having to spell everything out for you.โ Gyeong-Su gives you a moment to see if you would figure it out but when he sees the gears turning in your head, he sighs. โSu-Hyeok might get jealous and I donโt want that. You know, protective boyfriend and all. The what-have-youโs from all those dramas.โ
โHeโs not my boyfriend,โ you say as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which to you it certainly was.
โWhatever you say. If you see me one day with a black eye and a broken leg, youโre going to be held responsible for my hospital bills.โ
You roll your eyes as Gyeong-Su waves and goes on his way, promising to meet up later.
***
A few hours pass and you find a seat in the corner of the library where itโs more silent and thereโs a window nook in between two bookshelves against the wall; it was your favorite study spot aside from your bedroom.
Gyeong-Su is more punctual than you imagined, showing up barely a few minutes after you with all his study materials. At the moment, his backpack could be used as a weapon with everything he packed inside.
โAre you sure youโre here to study, or are you preparing for war?โ You stare in amazement as he pulls endless amounts of materials from his bag.
โI wasnโt kidding about not wanting to repeat class.โ An English textbook comes slamming onto the table and you shush him hurriedly. Thankfully, the other students are too busy studying with their headphones in to mind the noise.
โWe can work on spelling first,โ you guide as you flip through his workbook.
Youโre surprised at how fast Gyeong-Su learns after just a few units, and even more proud at the effort he puts into grasping the subject. Perhaps you could finally understand why teachers always glow when their students succeed.
โWow, would you look at that. Iโm a great tutor,โ you boast.
โYour ego is pretty great too.โ
You hit him on the head with a pencil but he just laughs it off. Your phone keeps vibrating with messages, so not wanting it to be a distraction, you put it on โdo not disturbโ mode without checking the notifications on screen and proceed to place it upside down on the table.
Both you and Gyeong-Su are too focused on your studies to notice Su-Hyeok coming into the library.
โY/N, did you lose your phone?โ
You look up, even more surprised than Gyeong-Su at his presence. โHow did you know we were here?โ
โYou didnโt tell him? Wow, Iโll remember that the next time I have a secret I need you to keep,โ Gyeong-Su says, fascinated.
โI waited an hour for you at the school gates to walk home together, but you never showed up so I texted Cheong-San and he said you were tutoring Gyeong-Su in the library.โ
โOh my god, I totally forgot.โ You put your hand on your head. Su-Hyeok would always walk you home as you two live in the same area, neighbors to be exact. โIโm so sorry you had to wait that long. It totally slipped my mind!โ He didnโt look mad, just tired. โYou can go home without me you know. I wouldnโt want you to wait even longer. I still have a few chapters left to help Gyeong-Su with.โ
โAre you kidding? Iโm not letting you go by yourself in the dark. A few more hours is nothing.โ Before you can refuse, he dumps his backpack on the floor and scoots the adjacent chair closer to yours, sits down, and leans his head on your shoulder. โWake me up when youโre done.โ
Heโs out cold in a few minutes, and you can only blame it on sleep deprivation; the badge every high school student wears proudly.
โNow that the boyfriend is sleeping and wonโt fight meโโ
โHow many times do I have to tell you, Gyeong-Su? Weโre not dating.โ
โSure, because thatโs totally what friends do,โ he says sarcastically.
As he goes back to his notes, you look down at Su-Hyeok leaning on you, moving his hair out of his eyes carefully so as not to wake him. Were his eyelashes always that long? His nose bridge so high? His skin so clear? His lipsโ
โEarth to Y/N,โ Gyeong-Su waves his hand in your face. โYou guys sure have a thing for staring at the other when theyโre asleep. You know, itโs the same look on your faces too.โ
โWhat? We donโt do that.โ
โFirst, he gets caught by the whole class and now you get caught by me. Youโre lucky itโs just one person whoโs seeing this.โ
You brush aside the first thing Gyeong-Su says, because Su-Hyeok having feelings for you? Impossible.
โI wasnโt staring!โ That draws the attention of a few students nearby.
โFine, admiring tastefully then.โ
You look down at Su-Hyeok again. โYou have to admit, itโs pretty endearing seeing someone sleep.โ
Gyeong-Su snorts. โYouโre just saying that because itโs Su-Hyeok. If it was me, you wouldโve already sent me flying clear across the room with a kick.โ
Not really being able to argue with that, you ignore it and turn back to give Gyeong-Su another exercise when Su-Hyeok stirs. โNext, can you describe us all with one word and spell it correctly?โ
He ponders for a moment before pointing to himself: โAmazing.โ A-M-A-Z-I-N-G is the first line on his notebook.
Next, he points to Su-Hyeok: โBarefoot.โ You laugh at the accuracy while Su-Hyeok curses Gyeong-Su. Itโs even funnier seeing him write it down in all seriousness. B-A-R-E-F-O-O-T is the next line.
A pencil aims at your face as Gyeong-Su mocks: โGnome.โ
โYouโre getting awfully comfortable with the short jokes there.โ G-N-O-M-E goes down in the third line.
โSheโs just petite,โ Su-Hyeok tries to defend you, doing a horrible job at it.
โGreat, she thinks youโre lovable and he thinks youโre cute.โ
โYou do?!โ You and Su-Hyeok say to one another at the same time.
โThe two of you arenโt fooling anyone with this โWeโre not togetherโ thing. Hereโs a word to describe both of you. Gyeong-Su scribbles something quickly down on the notepad in perfect English and holds it up sideways for you as he reads it out loud, gesturing with his pointer finger between you and Su-Hyeok:
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
แOแแญแชE โก
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
ห เผโถ โ๏ฝกห โโท5. Nam-Ra
No one ever comes to class early like she does, and so Nam-Ra is more than surprised to see Su-Hyeok of all people stepping foot into the room, the slide of the wooden door announcing his entrance. He jumps when he sees her already there.
โWhat is it?โ Nam-Ra cuts to the chase.
โUhโฆnothing,โ Su-Hyeok stammers.
โWhateverโs in your hands doesnโt seem like nothing.โ
He quickly hides the note behind his back.
Nam-Ra raises an eyebrow at this and taps your still-empty desk. โGo ahead and put it here. Iโll let Y/N know.โ
โItโs not for her.โ
โSu-Hyeok, youโre talking to me, not Dae-Su. I donโt believe that statement in the slightest.โ
Su-Hyeok sighs as he walks over to your seat and sits down. โPrez, I need advice.โ
โHmm, what did On-Jo call it? Loverโs quarrel, was it? Iโm not that experienced to be a love guru.โ
โWeโre notโ"
โCut it out. No matter how many times you guys deny it, it wonโt make it true.โ
โButโ"
โNope.โ Seeing as he wasnโt going to say anything else, Nam-Ra smiles to herself. If she can keep this up, maybe theyโll actually stop dancing around one another. โNow, why are you here and not with Y/N like you usually are?โ
โSheโs mad at me.โ
โI find that hard to believe, but explain.โ
โY/N has been avoiding me and I donโt know why. We were fine still during the study session with Gyeong-Su, but after that day sheโs been keeping her distance. She flinches when I so much as sit near her, when I talk to her, she canโt look me in the eyes, and when we walk home together, sheโs always speeding ahead. I think I mightโve done something wrong, but I also donโt think I have? Thatโs why I was planning to put this apology letter on her desk.โ
Nam-Ra brushes her hand down her face at the absurdity of the situation. โYou guys are hopeless.โ
โExcuse me?โ
โAre you telling me or asking me about whether you messed up?โ
โUhโฆboth?โ
โGosh, youโre clueless.โ
โI didnโt know advice came with being bashed.โ
โJust answer โyesโ or โnoโ to my following questions.โ Nam-Ra receives a nod in response.
โLook, you havenโt done anything wrong right?โ
โNo, I havenโt.โ
โDoes Y/N turn red when youโre near?โ
โYes, now that you mention it.โ
โIs she becoming more flustered now when she never was before?โ
โAlso a yes to that question.โ Su-Hyeokโs eyes widen and when Nam-Ra finally thinks heโs pieced it together, he hits her with the entire force of collective obliviousness in the world. โOh no! Do you think sheโs come down with something? Is she sick?โ
โAigoo!โ She smacks him on the head with her workbook.
โHey! What was that for?โ
โFocus!โ
โI was until you gave me a concussion!โ
โThatโs not how that worksโoh never mind! Just, think! I know itโs not something you usually tend to do, but try!โ
โAs long as you donโt hit me again.โ
Nam-Ra ignores his previous words and continues. โSince you said you guys arenโt together Iโll believe it just for today.โ
โThereโs nothing to believe or not, we really donโt have that kind of a relationship.โ
โBut do you want to?โ
โI donโt think she likes me like thatโ"
โYes or no only.โ
โFine, yes. I canโt believe Iโm telling you before I tell Y/N.โ Su-Hyeok slumps in his seat.
โSo, you like her.โ Nam-Ra states it as is, no longer questioning.
โI canโt say no now after what I said earlier, so yes. I really do.โ
โThen just go tell her. Itโs not that hard. Youโre making a simple thing more difficult than quantum mechanics.โ
โDoes Y/N even like me back for me to confess?โ
โYes. Youโre a fool for not noticing it: the avoidance, the distance, the shyness. Any of that ring a bell?โ She can pinpoint exactly when the realization hits him. โEveryone can see it except for the two of you. Iโm shocked that it took me to smack some sense into you; literally and metaphorically.โ
โI always thought that all friends were like us.โ
โIn what world? Friends donโt look at each other like that.โ
Su-Hyeok springs up from his chair with a hasty thank you, promising to think it through before confessing, and rushes off to who knows where.
When he leaves, Nam-Ra sits alone pondering whether she should just change her last name to Cupid.
Cheong-San and On-Jo clearly need some arrows as well.
ห เผโถ โ๏ฝกห โโท +1
When Cheong-Sanโs mom invites the friend group to their chicken restaurant for a free meal, no one could decline.
You and Su-Hyeok come in a bit later after everyone had already started eating, hand-in-hand.
โThereโs the cute couple!โ Cheong-Sanโs mom exclaims, handing over the largest platter of fried chicken youโve seen in your life.
โMrs. Lee, theyโre notโโ everyone at the table choruses in unison, except for Nam-Ra.
โWe are!โ You say, holding up your clasped hands.
Dae-Su drops his chicken on the floor in shock and everyoneโs mouths hang open comically in silence.
โMwoya? Have you been fooling us all this time?โ Your friends talk over one another, but the sentence is somehow comprehensible.
โJust ourselves,โ Su-Hyeok admits, looking down at you fondly, only to see you already gazing up at him.
