am i muppet?

or am i a man?

[binkbonkers]

reblog to let people know you were here before the great twitter migration

[neutraldankhotel]

you: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be outcorned

me: *eats 101 ears of corn in ten minutes* just another day in the corn fields

[ljza]

sock doesn’t fit

[sunfortune]

hate a “that’s against the law!” type character. like you really recognize the state? grow up 🙄

[7172626728388918928292991972-de]

heres the original version

[nosez-moved]

im not a people pleaser anymore im a huge cunt now

[whomst]

Every horse movie

Sarah aynn: “no one understands me I hate you Mom for making us move out here in the middle of no where there’s not even cute boys” *runs away and finds mysterious farm* Old man wilkinson: “this right here lil lady is a hourisey if yer can tame t it’s yoires if not it’s goin back to the horse factory” Sarsjh: *walks up to horse and starts to pet its nose* “see girl? You and me aren’t so different after all” Old man wonka: “why I don’t believe it she done tamed ol’ misery I reckon she ought to sign her up for the horuse show and save the farm” *cut scene of Sarah sneaking out the house to ride her horse everyday until her mom finds out* Mom: “young lady you are GROUNDED!!!! You are not allowed to compete in the horse show” Staryah: “no Mom please” *runs away and almost gets hit by car but then the horse pushes the car out the way" Mom: “fucjkfidnb maybe that’s a good horse after all”

[lakevida]

the most base human desire is just to do stuff with strings. weaving. cooking spaghetti. quantum physics. embroidery. uhh lacing your shoes to go on a run. a lot of instruments. knitting

[komaedalovemail]

Perhaps i will drink my sorrows away.. *opens up capri sun*

[tchaikovskaya]

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

[tchaikovskaya]

this is legitimately the absolute funniest thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts, thank you for your service

[shewillfeatdrake]

people who read while listening to music are very talented and are probably going to hell 

[fairycosmos]

honestly the concept of doppelgangers is scary but if i saw myself i probably wouldn’t be that terrified. like i know she can’t run for more than 3 minutes straight. i know she can’t do basic maths. she’s not going to do anything. she doesn’t even know what day it is

[erykah-budew]

“Cars” reboot in the style of the movie “Cats” and all the cars are just humans walking around naked but with a metallic sheen and they have wheels at the end of their limbs. Their faces are human faces but with car headlights instead of eyes.

[crutchie-morris]

op i have some bad news for you about another andrew lloyd webber musical

[chongoblog]

I didn’t want this to be the way I learned about starlight express but here we are

[rodrickheffeley]

spreading my propaganda

[keluchnae]

every time i see a cat and they look up at me i’m always like you have no idea…. you think you’re regular huh? think you’re normal? well you’re small and cute and silly. you have no idea

[normal-horoscopes]

THERE IS A FOX TRAPPED IN YOUR RIBCAGE GNAWING SLOWLY ON YOUR FLESH BUT YOU WILL NOT LET IT OUT BECAUSE WHAT WOULD MOTHER THINK WHAT WOULD MOTHER THINK

[officialunitedstates]

me:  goes to lowes

lowes man:  how can I help you son

me:  first of all I am not your son.  second of all im only here because I love the thick stench of wood fibers and industrial chemicals