[grootficguy]

Guys, please read my extremely NSFW Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic told from the perspective of Groot here.

[grootficguy]

I’m trying to get a real life book published, and since this is the only thing I’ve ever accomplished in my life, I’d greatly appreciate more views and kudos—otherwise agents will look at this like it’s some kind of joke rather than the serious and deep passion project it truly is.

[grootficguy]

attention seeker countries always have more than one word in their name. like bangladesh? Pakistan? China? France! Croatia? Lebanon? You’re all chill. You don’t need to flex. Estonia? Serbia? Zero heat. THE UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA, on the other hand—

[grootficguy]

“the Philippines” you get a pass, but i’m watching you. “Timor-L’Este” okay… that’s a hyphen AND an apostrophe. you’re on thin ice. BURKINA FASO? FUK OF…

[grootficguy]

attention seeker countries always have more than one word in their name. like bangladesh? Pakistan? China? France! Croatia? Lebanon? You’re all chill. You don’t need to flex. Estonia? Serbia? Zero heat. THE UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA, on the other hand—

[catchymemes]

[girlnephew]

[env0]

[e-cybele]

hehe

[grootficguy]

Every like three years or so another guy does blackface to prove how blackface “isn’t offensive”, and then, by golly, some truly unforeseeable reactions happen that no one could’ve predicted.

[tall]

[charlesoberonn]

OP you forgot to call a spade a spade.

[dogpuppy]

He is my princess diana

[tsunglasses]

[golongbyjoannanewsom]

obsessed w this person in the replies

[grootficguy]

i’m bored and the straight folk are annoying me. can we add another letter to get them all riled up?

[reviewingfanfic]

I Am Groot - sherlocksmyth ( @grootficguy )

Summary:

EXTREMELY NSFW fic told from the perspective of Groot.

Archive of Our Own

I'm not personally part of this fandom so I have no emotional ties with the characters, but I have to say... This was so intense, I came 10 times while reading from how good it was. Had to take snack breaks too.

Here is a small snippet that I wrote as a continuation and homage, I hope it's as good and erotic as the original, brace yourselves.

I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

"I am..."

"Groot!" I am Groot. I am Groot.

"I am Groot."

I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

I am Groot.

I am Groot.

I am Groot!

I understand if it's not good enough, specially when compared to the original, but I hope it's okay enough.

Writting Skills: I am Groot. (Iron)

Personal Enjoyment: I am Groot. (Iron)

[grootficguy]

Glad my writing utterly rocked your shit. It’s an honour to be responsible for rocking peoples’ shit.

[grootficguy]

Happy pride month! Your mother is a cunt, or whatever it is gay people say.

[grootficguy]

“women are gold diggers they only want your money” i asked 722 million women if they’d peg elon and they all said they’d rather lay face down on a radiator and it’s turned up like FULL heat

[segamascott]

[dogpuppy]