groundfault ᴄᴏʀᴘᴏʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

it's me ground hi (h for short) GRALBUM https://youtu.be/1bnEO8vGvbo

[groundfault]

it is me

things about me:

- the xiends (xen friends, patent pending) call me ground

- my actual name is Sky. therefore my username is a Type Of Joke (with a triple meaning and I won't even tell you the other two)

- I make microtonal music that is kind've goth

- I made a good Discord server for microtones you should join: https://discord.gg/Ea68TymwDU

A server aspiring to grow a community focused on compositional practice in tunings beyond 12-TET. | 135 members

- my pronouns in bio is She and maybe Her but I like to say Sher for shert

- CRT display enthusiast (DisplayPort analog video 4 lyfe)

- I make electronics sometimes but they're bad

- I'm from Wisconsin, I'm a big wiscon-sinner, straight outta 'sconsin and boiy do I love beer

- I think there should be a contrabass clarinet in C with a range to low A

- favorite edos: 18, 19, 24, 25, 27, 31, 37, 41, 46, 47

- favorite contorted edos: 81, 117 (I wrote my own tuning scripts for this)

- favorite chords: 9:12:16:19; minor 17:20:25, 9:11:14; diminished 5:6:7, 16:19:22

- round earther

- I think it should be acceptable to say the word "derpy" again

- I have a complicated relationship with capital letters

- I wonder what would happen if you took soap and combined it with soap, and merged their properties and characteristics

- ok bye ok bye ok bye ok bye ok bye

[groundfault]

I'm done using the internet regularly.

If you need to reach me, call or text me.

If you don't have my number, find someone who does.

If you don't know anyone who does, you probably don't need to talk to me.

[groundfault]

HEY so guess who didn't take her lithium

[groundfault]

I actually had a point here. My relationship with computers changed a lot in the early 2010s, and I think online communication has been too much of my life for too long. I can still work on my projects and share them online, but using the internet less overall might improve my efficiency. I think I'll start going to board game stores and gay bars, which are the places I assume I'll have the best shot at making friends.

[groundfault]

AI coding uniquely bothers me.

I've been programming since I was a kid. I was into neural networks before they were cool. I mentioned my interest in working on them on my college application in 2018. I trained models myself with underwhelming results. For compiling or iterating on data and increasing image or audio fidelity, they're perfect. Even as the AI boom has gotten scary, I still think it's great for answering specific questions I can't find an old forum thread about. But my optimism has reversed. At some point in 2023, it stopped being fun anymore.

AI images are getting more and more real, but as much as they ruin my day, they're still not quite right and I'm skeptical that they ever will be. AI music is dull, and I'm not too scared of being replaced in that regard either. The human aspect of art seems impossible to replicate perfectly, which I'm thankful for. But as a programmer, I've already been replaced.

A lot of the time, a chatbot can write code just as good as mine, indistinguishable from the result of days of work. It saves me so much time with no downsides, except for one: I don't see the point anymore.

My code isn't something to be proud of now. All those widgets I spent years making are obsolete. My chances of getting a job in this field have dropped to near zero. I wish I had completed my game earlier because I feel like my skills and effort mean less than they ever have. I have to play along or I'll be even further behind than I already am.

Of course, I still do a portion of the coding myself because there are things I can do better myself than I can describe them to a computer, such as formatting and math. But the only noteworthy things I've completely coded by myself lately were my two custom tuning scripts and my temperament optimizer, all of which because I had to get the algorithms right and also because I couldn't trust AI to know how KSP or the Surge formula modulator work.

The only conclusion I have is to say that the world is changing and it's stolen some of the last light I had.

[groundfault]

why would you say that to me? i'm just a crumpled up piece of paper that god accidentally gave life to

[groundfault]

done is better than good

I'm like chronically bad at releasing stuff, it's crazy. I released two awful albums in 2014 and 2015 on SoundCloud (some of the tracks aren't even on there) and then gave up and only posted a few finished songs until A New Dusk. Those old songs on my YouTube channel were often finished a year before they were posted, and most of A New Dusk was done over two years before it came out. Maybe I have some stuff posted earlier that I forgot about. I can't find my old account on house-mixes.com.

I don't know how I'm going to go back and release the few albums' worth of songs from 2015 to 2019, it's just so daunting. Some of them, the ones I wrote in notation software, may be gone forever. I'm constantly doing this to myself.

But whatever I have, I have to put it out. I've been wanting to release "the ground archives" for years now. If my game ever comes out, I'm going to release some of the music I'm remaking for it, namely my Octonia Symphony from 2018/2019. I have to track down the files.

Speaking of which, it's been about six years since the emergence of my distinctive style (which probably started with a Hazbin Hotel cover of all things) which was in turn six years since I started releasing music seriously. I've really plateaued on everything besides tuning knowledge, singing, and determination to release things. My requirement to release an album a year is really helping me.

The way I see it, skill isn't the ability to do things. It's the ability to finish them.

[groundfault]

hello welcome to friday night drunk ground

has anyone made a hear me out post about the queen from wizard chess?

[groundfault]

what the fuck is my tumblr even about at this point

[groundfault]

It's this exact sort of nonsense. Next on my list: the salesman.

[groundfault]

happy first day in april

today I announce something great

I'm making a game about a dragon in roller skates and a magic dinosaur and everyone is gay

"its like m rated heavily traumatized toby fox racing game" -- my friend

[groundfault]

thinkin about making some merch

[groundfault]

happy first day in april

today I announce something great

I'm making a game about a dragon in roller skates and a magic dinosaur and everyone is gay

"its like m rated heavily traumatized toby fox racing game" -- my friend

[groundfault]

it may be known that I'm a gourd enthusiast

I think I accidentally created my new sona

gird (gourd bird)

[groundfault]

After doing some intense research I have concluded that I did in fact peak in high school (I was a loser but istg everything fun and good happened in 2017 and I was really good at projects)

Fuck it, I'm retracing my steps

I will invent cringe 2

More importantly, things have been unusually bad lately, but I've been thinking that the 8 years of darkness is finally coming to an end

I think I'm gonna massively decrease my dependence on substances as well. A truly happy person shouldn't have a reason to drink this much.

[groundfault]

hello welcome to friday night drunk ground

has anyone made a hear me out post about the queen from wizard chess?

[groundfault]

what the fuck is my tumblr even about at this point

[groundfault]

hello welcome to friday night drunk ground

has anyone made a hear me out post about the queen from wizard chess?

[userminusone]

Amusing GC interaction today

[userminusone]

Right, I caved and made a tutorial

[groundfault]

Thank you for pentagon, glad to be purple in this situation

[userminusone]

Why do I keep posting cool stuff if barely anyone sees it?

Yep, I'm just gonna keep screaming this question unto the void until it answers and fills me with existential horror

[groundfault]

The void is its own sort of freedom

[groundfault]

Here's a really sad mental health awareness post:

If you have a mental illness that belongs in the "scary" category (bipolar, BPD, anything psychotic, addiction to some extent), you can't expect anyone to treat you right when you're having an episode. Even people you trust will hurt you because they're stressed and don't know how to deal with you, and that's not really their fault. You will hurt the people around you, and your remorse won't be enough to fix it. You will be shamed and disciplined for decisions that weren't fully yours. No matter how much help you get, you will be told to get more whenever your symptoms are apparent, as if you haven't even been trying. Sometimes, people will decide that the best option is to just get you away from them. Surprisingly often, they may treat your illness like a moral failing, even if they don't treat less disruptive mental illnesses that way. It's naturally hard to be nice to someone when their disability directly causes toxic behavior. There's no solution to this, it just sucks. It's not right to be bitter about it.

[groundfault]

Content warning: mega depression

I'm about to be 25. I've been posting music online for 12 years, and the only project that's really gotten any traction is my band (which I got super lucky with in more ways than I can count, considering I was an unbelievably dumb teenager when I started), unless you're willing to count the influence I've gotten for my composition and theory in the small xenharmonic community. I thought I was born to be a creative and an inventor. I've tried to be part of so many projects during all these years, video game development in particular, and virtually nothing has ever gotten past planning. I just keep trying and everything fizzles out in the end. The only thing I actually finished was a Minecraft 1.8 mod when I was 13 or 14, which no one ever played and is now lost to time. None of the doodads I've tried to invent ever got to production or even past the prototype stage. I feel like I've been in a quarter-life crisis for the past several years, but it hits different now. I think I may be doomed to futility and obscurity. I've been sitting on so much half-finished material, a lot of which has probably been lost forever. It took a lot for me to finally release my microtonal albums, which are about all I really have to show for the absurd amount of time I've wasted. Most people can just enjoy the time they have in life, but I've always been ambitious. I've also been severely mentally ill since I was 17, and to be fully honest, my life since then has been miserable. When kids were mean to me in school, the adults in my life would tell me that I'd be the successful one day and they're just jealous. I guess the tragic beauty is that I now suffer so much that those days became the happy ones. Nothing could have ever prepared me for this level of constant anguish. I planned my yearbook quote way ahead of time but couldn't even submit one. I was a gifted kid who couldn't even finish college because I'm so broken. The illness took my life away. I didn't think I could lose the little hope I've managed to build up over the past few years, but here I am, and somehow I'm still alive. I miss when I was able to be truly happy. I miss when I had a chance. I can hardly remember it now. I've done so much, but it's practically a net zero. Then again, my albums prove that I've gotten better at following through, and if I'm persistently motivated enough, I can still expand that. It's just awful that it took this long after already losing so much. 

[groundfault]

I just noticed I finished this bassline I wrote exactly 5 years later

no I don't have a problem shut up