all the quirks to survive

Adaptive as a chameleon, curios as a cat. Might be too quirky and geeky for your own taste. Some say that I'm intense or I'm insane but the truth is I'm just the oldest and the wittiest and I will never be satisfied.

[gumsmiles]

life so far

wow, it’s been so long since I came back here. I’ve been rambling most of my days in Twitter but today, I didn’t feel like doing it. 

I’ve been ill...like physically. I went back for therapy because of my double crush syndrome. For my 1st 6 sessions, we targeted my carpal and the pain on my neck and shoulders. After the follow up checkup, the doctor figured we needed addtl sessions that could target the compressed spine discs on my neck area. It’s been less painful and sometimes they are also manageable but mostly it’s getting more painful again. Anyway the point here is...i feel like my situation is starting to be a burden to others. I’m missing a lot at work and I’m underperforming and I’m starting to be consumed by guilt because of everything that’s happening. 

[gumsmiles]

Three Months of Everything

A few months ago, I witnessed how 3 of our pups fought for their lives and how I grieved as they breathed their last.

On the evening of September 14, my siblings were able to caught our dog almost eating a sewer rat. Fortunately, my brother was able to stop them from eating the rat however our dog got a wound from attacking the rat. Given this situation, we had to immediately schedule an appointment to the vet. Come the next morning, when I was about to check on our dog, I noticed that there’s a slimey something…

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[gumsmiles]

hello from Malaysia 🇲🇾

[gumsmiles]

Sweat, Stress, and Spite

Sweat, Stress, and Spite

It’s been so long since I wrote something here. To be honest, I had a hard time collecting my thoughts and figure out where to publish them. My desire to give my contents a platform backfired to me and soon paralyzed and overwhelmed me to get started anywhere. I am writing this entry just to get my thoughts flowing. I’ve been ranting, sharing my insights with my friends for the past few weeks…

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[seawherethesunsets]

Thank you. Thank you too.

🌻 for @piinkbuttrfly🌻

[gumsmiles]

im back in 2022

oh hello world. 

it’s been so long since the last time I accessed my Tumblr. 

We’re still in a pandemic so we still have to wear face masks. Better safe than sorry. But the restrictions are slowly easing in. Some countries are opening their borders again. Can’t wait to travel. *sigh* I think I am more capable now of funding my travel now. 

Anyway, I am obsessing over Boys Over Flowers Thailand version right now. It totally slipped my mind during the premiere but Athena shared a thread about it and I suddenly piqued an interest again. I finished the 14 latest episodes in just 3 days. And now my brain’s rotting because of Kavin and Kaning’s character. They are the playboy and FL’s best friend respectively. 

A lot happened to me for the past years especially during the pandemic. I opened my shop, still working on my watercolor paintings and I think it’s safe to say that I improved. I’m also working for a tech company. Hmm, I also collaborated with a friend for a story project but didn’t push through. 

All I know now is that most of my decisions now are bolder and I am just putting myself out there. 

[gumsmiles]

The achiever is actually a failure.

A walking disappointment in the eyes of her spectators. 

[gumsmiles]

I am worried for my country. I am worried for those who are actively scrutinizing this abusive system. While I’m worried for the things that are happening outside, I am also worried how it can affect me and the life I’m living. 

I am afraid that I have to suck things up. I’m afraid that the louder my voice, the harder they will try to silence me. I may be a tiny, irrelevant citizen today. But tomorrow might be different. I can be another name on their target list. I can be another citizen to be taken down. 

I am afraid that my siblings could lose a sister. 

I am afraid that my parents would lose a first born. 

And yes, I get to live to this kind of day when people are being oppressed. Unbelievable but I am here witnessing how the supposedly protectors are the first in line to hurt and abuse us. 

Where will the people run to? 

[gumsmiles]

They say that every waking moment is a blessing

But what if I want to decline that blessing?

Can I even decline?

[gumsmiles]

ECQ is really giving us lotsa time to walk down the memory lane. The first photo shows my messages to my crush since we were in 6th grade. I liked the guy since I was in 8th grade. And as you can see, despite of thr fact that he wouldn't reply, I would still send messages to him.

And fast forward to 2020...I think I never got out of that phase. Lol. I'm talking to this guy that I met last December 2019 and we've been constantly talking to each other through chat. Through time, I realized that I'm starting to LIKE him....BIG TIME. And it doesn't feel good.

I think I always gravitate towards people who are not interested in me.

[bnmxfld]

F. Scott Fitzgerald / This Side of Paradise

[chandlerbings]

[gumsmiles]

Crazy how you're always in my prayers.

Never thought I would beg the Lord for someone this bad.

[iirememberthinking]

Dear whoever is reading this: I wish you a life full of warmth and happiness and love. I hope you’re okay. And if you aren’t now, you will be.

[humbuns]

baby crows all grown up!!!! 

Keep reading

[viria]

“But here I am again, so good but not good enough.” (x)

Something is telling me I want to see Oikawa Tooru broken and suffering.

ps: the quote is from that absolutely gorgeous heartwrenching fic in the link, but not the scenes. Please read the fic and join me at the dark side:3

[gumsmiles]

ang kalat ko. 

my thoughts and feelings are everywhere and i find it hard to gather all of them. 

each day is a challenge

each day is a piercing moment for me. 

there would be stolen moments that i get separated from reality because I think too much. 

even my tears can’t figure out how to get out. 

i act as if i got it altogether despite of barely having a tight grip on this kind of life.