Jake english at your service! @gunhardytemerity-blog - Tumblr Blog

euphobicgeotech

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#euphobicgeotech #pesterlogs #in which jude you son of a gun we're family!

#technologicgodot #pesterlogs #in which for better or worse remember?

#chicaneAgamemnon #pesterlogs #in which embracing the magic #AND ADIOS

#twofoldacrimony #pesterlogs #in which to be offensively endearing

technetronictactician

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#in which jake finds dirk #technetronicTactician

-- gunhardyTemerity [GT] began trolling technetronicTactician [TT] -- GT: Howdy do captain! A quick word if you would. TT: Oh hey. TT: Go for it. GT: Oh. GT: Well plucky fucky horsefeathers bro. I wasnt expecting you to comply to readily. TT: There are few things I would rather give my attention to right now. TT: Basically, I could use the distraction. GT: But i had a whole huffed up speech! Poised and ready to combat your cryptic all knowing attitude that you saddle when the going gets rough and nobody has no fucking clue as to whats going on! GT: All will be well you say. GT: And then proceed to fuck off into the sunset aboard your noble galloping steed! TT: I think you've been watching too many westerns in my absence. GT: Hogswash! I watch the perfect number of westerns in your presence and out too. TT: True. TT: If you had a speech prepared, far be it from me to deny that of you. TT: We can pretend I'm going to be aloof about our present state of affairs. GT: Well gosh now ive grown stage shy. GT: No point now! TT: Damn. TT: I really did want to talk to you, though. GT: Would you like to in person? GT: In the gym perhaps! While exchanging a flurry of fists and blows!!!! TT: Yeah. We can do that. TT: I'll meet you there in a moment. DIRK: *he has barely left his office since lifera arrived, unless he had to meet with someone to inform them of her presence. he would come home, but late, and always leave early. there was a lot more about this situation than just the secret of it burdening him, but true to his typical hypocritical behavior, he kept most of it to himself while he tried to keep everything under control.* DIRK: *it only takes a moment to get to the gym, as promised, despite how sluggish he felt. he wasn't sure he was up to brawling, but figured some physical activity might help with that. as he steps through the doors, he looks around for jake, but he's sure if he's here he's making some kind of spectacle of himself.* JAKE: *Jake is here actually, poised and ready right by the door. If Dirk doesn't see him, then it means Jake has the opportunity to attempt to ram him into a surprise tackle to the floor.* CONSTANT VIGILANCE MOTHERFUCKER. *Be prepared for the impending wall full of muscley English man.* DIRK: *he WASN'T prepared. he wasn't prepared at ALL. and if it had been basically anybody else, he might have been annoyed for not having his guard up, but jake is entirely too distracting to let himself get lost in those thoughts. in fact, his brain feels a little scrambled when he hits the floor, barely able to squirm into a position where he can look at jake.* DIRK: Wasting no time to jump my bones, I see. *he apparently isn't so scrambled he can't crack wise, tho.* JAKE: Always the wise cracker. Even your bones have thusly been pounded into the ground! *big old cheesy grins of victory, satisfied with his catch. He genially pats at Dirk's face.* Youre losing your touch d! DIRK: It's fair to say I very easily let my guard down around you. *nudges his cheek into the face pats. geez, he isn't even fighting back.* JAKE: *well that earns him a big old Jake brand slobbery smooch. He releases him soon afterwards.* Well i say its a damn ill excuse!!! DIRK: *sits up, propped on his hands.* How the tables have turned. Now you're the one keeping me on my toes? JAKE: *claps his hand up and lugs him to stand* If i dont who will?? DIRK: *HOISTED.* Traditionally that person has been myself, but I'm afraid I've had to prioritize other preoccupations above kicking my own ass. *continues to hold jake's hand even after standing, even if it's a little awkward and silly looking.* JAKE: Oh right the aahhh... political agenda i heard tell of. *mustache twitches at the hand holding but he doesn't seem to mind* Has that been... going? Well?? *He's good at the talking and being concerned.* DIRK: That depends... Just how much tell have you heard? *glances up at him while playing with jake's fingers.* JAKE: Well nothing at all! Only the bits and pieces ive heard in passing. *shrugs like???* Id rather not jump to conclusions in all honesty! DIRK: Cool. That's about the best I can hope for with the general masses. DIRK: Though, I did want to divulge more information to you about it. *keeps ahold of jake's hand, pulling him along as he heads towards the more padded areas of the gym.* If only because this is a secret I don't much enjoy keeping to myself. JAKE: *trots on after him, the most obedient boyfriend* Shucks. So whats the dirt dirk? DIRK: You were there when that ship landed. Did you see the woman with my uncle? *lets go when he reaches his destination, turning around to face him.* JAKE: Who didnt?? I mean of whoever was at the beach. *can they spar now? Or would that be bad timing.* She seems rather important doesnt she? What with arriving in her own ship and all. JAKE: By the by are we going to keep the ship? I am asking for very specific reasons. DIRK: ... Hm. Not sure. I think it might belong to Rajani. I'll have to ask. *hold on, dirk has to do some STRETCHES.* Why? JAKE: I am not saying! *doing some stretches sounds like a GREAT idea and so gets to doing that too* Its only... have you considered where we might be going for our honeymoon? DIRK: *hehe. so transparent. that makes dirk smile a little.* Well... I did have one idea. But I won't say either unless you manage to defeat me in combat. JAKE: If this were combat you would already be a tragic watermark on the ground my fellow!!! And i would be the new captain by default! HAH. *big hearty laugh with his hands on his hips* DIRK: It doesn't work like that you dork. *puts up his dukes.* DIRK: Anyway... About that woman. DIRK: You aren't wrong. She's pretty damn important. DIRK: Like, empress of Beforus kind of important. JAKE: *eyes go as round as saucers, jaw dropping. He's the best person to tell news to, for sure.* .............By george shes alive?????? DIRK: Yeah. *now jake, that's just the kind of face that could get cold clocked if somebody here wanted to fight dirty.* The resistance went on a rescue mission to extract her from an Alternian ship. DIRK: ... And I guess my uncle decided bringing her here was their best option for keeping her safe. DIRK: Which he didn't consult me on at all, mind you. *knits brows, feeling a little frustrated suddenly* JAKE: *bobs on his toes, not taking a swing just yet* Oh i see. The ole wool over the eyes and an amiable DWI stamped right on that package of fuckery. DIRK: Basically. If he had just talked to me, we could have come up with a plan... But I had to go sleuthing for information on my own. And figure out a way to keep her safe here. On my own. DIRK: I can't just tell people that she's here. There will be too much backlash. JAKE: Thats very true. *has all the sympathy for Dirk, all of it.* Talk about one pickle of a conundrum chum. JAKE: If push comes to shove you know i always have your back! I shall stand up for you! *Oh speaking pushing and shoving, Jake is throwing the first jab.* DIRK: *now that he's expecting it, he guards the jab and redirects it pretty easily with his forearm.* Thanks babe. I know. *returns it with a swing of his own.* DIRK: If I can prevent some kind of riot incited by political unrest, that'd be the most I could hope for. But... my hopes aren't exactly high. JAKE: Golly. It sounds like it could be the brink of a civil war! *blocks the blow, going for a quick punch to Dirk's middle.* DIRK: Yeah. Like with the super heroes, and not the stupid actual civil wars. *chuckling a little, he ends up taking the blow. oof. not my rock hard abs.* DIRK: *he takes that as a sign to get out of jake's space, jumping back and instead trying to get at him from another angle, going for a sweep of his leg at jake's side.* JAKE: *bobs on his toes but ultimately takes the brunt of the leg swing. Dirk is simply too fast but Jake hits harder.* OOF. *throws his weight at Dirk, brow furrowed with determination.* DIRK: *shit. unless he can manage to slip away, there's little he can do against jake's ENTIRE BODY and ends up getting overpowered again.* Shit-- JAKE: *as Dirk stumbles, Jake takes the opportunity of a closed space to jab hard fists wherever he can. His chest and shoulders.* POW POW. DIRK: Ow--Pffff. *trying not to laugh at the sound effects while he's being knocked back by punches. he manages to counter one with his forearm again, moving to grab jake's wrist and twist his arm behind his back.* BAMF. JAKE: Bamf????? YOWCH. *wheezes, pain shooting up his arm as it's twisted. An enticing kind of pain- no wait. Focus, English!!! The best he can hope to do is to aim a swift kick behind him and hopes it gives him the pause enough to grapple himself out of the grip.* DIRK: Ah-- *there's a foot coming his way, and it's enough to get dirk to loosen his grip in surprise, but he reacts quickly enough to start shoving his weight at jake -- either towards the ground or the nearest wall. whatever happens first, if he can manage it.* JAKE: YORF. *stumbles forward, none too gracefully.* DIRK: Oh shit. *now they're both scrambling. someone help them.* JAKE: *knees skid to the ground and it's basically the worst thing for Jake. He rolls with a hiss through his teeth.* DIRK: *stumbles and falls beside him.* Oof... *blinks a few time before he remembers that they're sparring and moves to get on top of the grounded jake. HE'S GOING FOR THE PIN.* JAKE: *was literally about to crawl off when Dirk goes for the pin.* FUCKING. SHIT BISCUITS. *he thrashes with all his might, yelling up a storm* DIRK: Whoa there-- *presses down on jake's arms... and then leans down onto him for good measure. tiddy to tiddy.* JAKE: Woah there?? What am i some kind of animal???? *huffs loudly, willing himself to imagine the red heating up his cheeks is out of exertion and not ANYTHING ELSE. He glares at him, teeth gritted in defiance.* I refuse to tap out! DIRK: You exhibit some animalistic behaviors at times. *smirks down at him, mostly just holding onto him now. maybe clamping his thighs in place around him too, just a little...* JAKE: *NO, this is a public place Dirk! Jake knows a salacious act when he sees it and rolls himself against Dirk. If all goes well, he'll be the one doing the pinning and slamming Dirk's back onto the ground. Blushing red faces aplomp.* I say you keep yourself ON TASK captain dick sir. DIRK: *shit... how is he expected to stay on task with jake manhandling him like he is? he's a little bit breathless as the positions are switched and he's the one slammed into the floor.* I... *huff* I'm perfectly on task. DIRK: But I think I'm going to have to give in. DIRK: ... Because once you're on top of me I find myself unable to resist. *snrrkkk* JAKE: AGHHH BEGONE YOU. *bats himself away from Dirk like BLUH* DIRK: What? *laughing as he lays there* It's because you've got all that mass pinning me in place. Damn. Get your mind out of the gutter. JAKE: My mass??? WELL I HAVE NEVER. *flustered huffing and scrambling to his feet* Youre no toothpick yourself!!! DIRK: I know. I'm not making fun of you. *sits up and chin hands with his elbow on his leg* You're a tough, solid guy. I like that. JAKE: Doh shut your wheedling trap. Youre distracting me! *he yell, so embarrassed* DIRK: Distracting you from what? I already lost. *smiling up at him* JAKE: *just. Puts his hand in Dirk's face and shoves him.* I said shut it!!!!!!!! DIRK: Oof. *he's shoved, falling back on the floor and just lies there dramatically.* DIRK: Oh right. I promised I'd tell you about my honeymoon idea if you won. JAKE: *huffs more, just rollling up his sleeves. He's still really obviously riled up.* Oh yeah???? DIRK: *he's riled up alright...* Yeah. *peers up at him again.* DIRK: Do you remember when I said I used to live on an island? In Cidney's vacation home? JAKE: *That gives him pause.* Yes i do recall. JAKE: ... JAKE: Is it possible??? DIRK: I dunno. *looks up at the ceiling now, staring a little distantly.* But that's my idea. JAKE: Well... I say we make it happen! *puffs his chest* Whats stopping us? A ride? An escort perhaps?? A plan of infiltration??? JAKE: That sounds like one whallop of an adventure! DIRK: *smiles softly.* Yeah. It'd be somethin' alright. JAKE: *slowly dares to lower himself to sit* DIRK: *looks over at him, big eyes peeping from behind shades.* JAKE: *side eyes him* ... *scoots closer.* JAKE: ... JAKE: *leans to press a kiss to his cheek* DIRK: *what the fuck... why is he so cute? he rolls onto his side, head propped up on his arm.* So... How about we go hit the showers? JAKE: Oh. The gym showers? *Silly. Stupid. Naive Jake.* DIRK: Yes. *dirk looks so innocent. clearly he has no ill intent here.* JAKE: So like old times sake! *leaping to his feet, dishing out a hand to help dirk up for the second time that night* Lets hit the showers man! DIRK: Yep. Just like that. *takes his hand and hops up onto his feet, wasting not another second to make his way to the showers.* JAKE: Ah i remember it like it was only yesterday. *trots along, pushing past the doors like it's no deal. From a first glance, it looks like they have the place to themselves. Jake immediately drops towels and shower supplies from his sylladex, always prepared.* DIRK: *well, if there's no one around, then he's just going to start peeling off his shirt. there it goes. jake seems to have the rest covered, anyway.* JAKE: *wiggling out of his clothes as well, tying a towel around his waist and whistling a happy tune.* DIRK: *jake is so cute... so innocent... he can't not fuck him.* DIRK: *once he's undressed, he drapes a towel over his shoulders and turns towards the nearest stall, peering back at jake.* JAKE: *It takes a second for it to register in his head. Looks back at Dirk with a perfectly goofy smile until it fades a little. Dirk can practically see the dots being connected until finally, a guilty looking intrigue settles on his expression.* ........ *looks around the bathroom stalls to DOUBLY make sure there's nobody around.* JAKE: ..... *scoots after Dirk* DIRK: *yeeees. hook, line, and sinker. as soon as jake starts to follow him, he picks up the pace again, slipping past the curtain and setting the towel off to the side.* JAKE: *Oh jeez. He can't help the thrill of excitement, as guilty as it made him feel. Especially as they were tucking away into one of the stalls towards the back. Still public but not so obvious. Chances a peek past the curtain Dirk disappears behind.* DIRK: *he will be greeted immediately by hands reaching around his middle that tug him the rest of the way in, until his body is suddenly juxtaposed with dirk's.* JAKE: HOO. *Well fuck!!! There goes the point of the towel. Jake laughs, suddenly feeling flushed all over and very conscious of the proximity of Dirk's bare skin. He keeps in mind enough to shut the curtain, grinning like a total buck-toothed dork.* DIRK: *hums happily at the look on jake's face.* I didn't think you'd join me... Without any convincing, too. *runs his hands up jake's back.* JAKE: Ah... is that a good thing? *He can't tell if this is a compliment or not. He sure looks interested though.* DIRK: I'm definitely happy about it. *sets right to it and starts to trail kisses along his chest.* JAKE: Oh. Pleased even. *aww, not the chest kisses. Anything but the chest kisses! Jake nuzzles into his hair.* Should we get the water running? DIRK: Oh yeah. Showering. *he doesn't want to pull away, but the space is cramped enough at he doesn't really have to quit touching jake when he turns towards the faucet. in fact, it's a nice opportunity to brush his backside against him.* JAKE: *If Jake wasn't distracted before, he certainly is now. Dirk will feel a whiskery kiss being pressed to his shoulder.* DIRK: *the tickle of jake's kisses brings another soft smile to his lips and as water starts to pour over them, he leans back to fit himself along the contours of jake's body.* JAKE: *It's such a nice sweet moment, Jake doesn't even have to worry about ruining it by talking. The kisses find themselves trailing over his shoulders and into the nice groove of his neck. Just gentle exploring. Nothing to daring. Not even when he brings his hands up to squeeze at his shoulders.* DIRK: *his eyes flutter half lidded as each kiss brings him into a deeper state of relaxation. the exhaustion from earlier never really went away, but at least now it's something he can find joy in. it's as grounding as it is elating, and he savors the warmth and reality of jake's presence. right now, he hasn't a care in the world that doesn't involve the man beside him. his hand slides up to grasp lightly at jake's hair and he tilts his head back to nuzzle to him, making jake's sweetness despite his impish behavior from before.* JAKE: *gentle shoulder kisses become interested the more he nuzzles into his neck. One moment it's sweet, and the next... not so much. The hand coming up to stroke into his hair gives Jake the access to palm at Dirk's chest. Hug him close, nipping at his skin.* DIRK: *a groan rumbles out of him like a purr at the sudden roughness, his back arching against jake's shape, nails scraping at his scalp, and his other hand clasping over jake's to encourage the palming.* JAKE: *an amused huff escapes him as the nibbles disappate, dissolving into kisses brushing the side of his face. As close to his lips as he can reach, drawn in close by the fingers tugging into his hair. The palms feeling over Dirk's chest slide down his wet belly and back up again. Full of affection, despite the distracting way he could feel himself brush against his ass. Eventually, his touch begins to wander further down south, feeling and petting past the trail of hair.* DIRK: *lips part into a smile just hearing the amusement from jake, though the sweet touches alone are enough to bring a smile to his face. more encouragement manifests in the form of dirk rolling his hips back slightly against jake's dick, but finds himself a little distracted too with the way jake's hand wanders.*

#technetronicTactician #in which of conundrums wrassling and distractions #nsfw towards the end

JAKE: *He's been at his wit's end lately. Stressed and anxious from the moment he woke up to the times he fell into restless sleep, these past few days have not been fun for Jake English. But what ELSE was expected out of someone who's magical ability to alter reality relied on his very active imagination? Was he supposed to shut his brain off?? Stop thinking and imagining things??? Just how the hell was he supposed to control this! Ahhhhhhhh. The stress was finally snowballing for Jake enough that he skips out on engineering duties today, only to hole himself up in his room. Nobody would be able to understand, nobody would really know how! He paced around the floor of his block, heart racing as he teeters on the verge of another one of those dreaded nerve attacks. Jake just can't stop the catching of air in his throat as he fidgets and swings his limbs around aimlessly. He just... can't help wishing Dirk was here to help him figure this out. But he was too busy being stressed beyond belief himself! There was no WAY Jake could even think about calling him right now, despite the crushing guilt of wanting to and the nag of selfishness he felt as he... longed for days when he wouldn't even have to think twice about it. He just wanted Dirk. Emotion swells painfully in his chest the more the statement punctuates in his mind until finally, Jake leans with an elbow against the nearby wall and prepares to give himself a good old-fashioned cry. Today was just not his day.* (DIRK): I know I'm just a consolation prize, *a familiar voice can be heard, interrupting jake's private moment of distress with his unique brand of grizzled passive aggression.* (DIRK): But I happen to know I have things to offer you that other iterations do not. JAKE: *sniffles with his back towards him, entirely not surprised that the sound of his voice does JACK SHIT to veer the tears away. In fact, they have even more reason to flood out and make a ruin of his hidden face.* W... whats that? *asks as if he's not already suspicious.* (DIRK): *he steps closer to jake, trying to maneuver himself into his peripherals, at least... even if he hides.* As we've discussed before, I happen to be privy to a certain knowledge. Regarding your potential with those abilities of yours. Don't you remember? (DIRK): I know it's in there somewhere. JAKE: Yes... *The worst part about all of this is how GRATEFUL Jake actually was that Brain Ghost was here. Hidden under the blanket of his hurt, misery, and loneliness, but still very much there. Wipes at his messy face and just focuses on his voice and how Very Real it sounded.* (DIRK): You wanted me to help you understand it, so here I am. (DIRK): Of course, I can only go through the motions with you. I only know as much as you do, even if you don't realize you know it yet. To put it in the least confusing way possible. *tilts head at him inquisitively.* (DIRK): Now are you going to come out of hiding? JAKE: Im not... *SNIFF* Fucking hiding. *says while burying his face in his sleeve, exactly like five year old. Either way, his voice was exactly what he needed to calm down here. So pathetic.* (DIRK): I'm pretty sure the reason you're so hostile towards me is because I know exactly what's on your mind. *his expression softens though as he leans against the wall.* (DIRK): It's possible, you know. (DIRK): To control your abilities in way you want to. JAKE: Thats almost exactly why Im hostile towards you. *it's like pulling teeth but as hard as it is, he's rambling anyway. In a strange way, it's really helping him pull himself together.* I always seem to have infinite potential for anything i set my mind to. JAKE: Even controlling what it is i do! Its just... JAKE: I miss you. Quite a bit. (DIRK): *glances away at that* I know that I should, but I can't understand why. (DIRK): He misses you too, I'm sure. JAKE: But i miss what you are too. *scrubs at his eyes finally, trying to get a grip on himself* Theres no one in the world but the two of us and... shuckfuckles. Im the worst most selfish pilgrim for missing it. (DIRK): *pauses, gaze still averted* Wonder what that makes me for relishing it. JAKE: No better than a figment of my imagination i could guess. *But Brain Ghost Dirk was looking very real right now which... made Jake a little proud of himself. Just because he struggled so much before. He peers at him closely.* ...Do you really think i can control my powers? JAKE: How? (DIRK): *finally looks back at him, thankful for the subject change.* Yeah. (DIRK): Take me for example. (DIRK): You could very well believe a solid version of myself into existance. You have before, and for all intents and purposes, that may very well be more ideal for what you want right now. And yet here I remain as an apparition. (DIRK): Why do you think that is? JAKE: I... *goes slightly wall eyed* Cant be sure? (DIRK): Maybe it's because you know I'm only a fragment of Dirk. I'm just a projection of what it is you really believe in. (DIRK): Come on, keep up. JAKE: But... i believe in you. *says slowly* I believe that dirk could help me and so. He is. JAKE: Hence you! JAKE: Right??? (DIRK): Sure. But that's just the point. (DIRK): It's all about who, or what, you're believing in. You believe in Dirk. Yes, I am still Dirk, but I am also a product of those feelings. (DIRK): I am a controlled product. I know it may not necessarily seem like I am one of the less outrageous things you've conjured up with your imagination, but it would make sense if the reason I'm confined to your mind alone is because that's precisely where you want and need me to be. (DIRK): If you can keep me in your head, who's to say you can't do the same with anything else? Makes sense, doesn't it? Correct me if I'm wrong. JAKE: *blows into the hankerchief he kept tucked away in his pocket as Dirk talks. It seemed like he always had this way of explaining things so Jake understood them. Yes he knew that was came with him being a literal part of Jake's brain but also. It was just Dirk's nature, Jake was sure of it. Another surge of affection, another pang because loved and missed him so much.* Yes... it makes perfect sense. JAKE: Its all in my head. *regards the brain ghost with watery eyes full of feeling* (DIRK): *he can feel it too, a strange concept for someone who isn't entirely "real", but he's sure he can thank jake for that too.* (DIRK): Yeah. You know what else is all in your head too? *he pauses, reaching out to brush his finger tips against jake's cheek. he isn't sure that he'll feel it, but if jake wants to, he's sure that he will.* That guilt for missing me. All of me. (DIRK): Of course I miss you too. JAKE: *Dammit. The touch on his face is stinging more droopy tears from Jake. He's pictured brain ghost being solid this whole time.* Ive been... a mess. But so has dirk! JAKE: I wish... i could do something to help him. (DIRK): *WELL HOW ABOUT THAT?* You do plenty just being there. Trust me. JAKE: But i havent my shit together. *rubs his nose with the cloth again* And hes been worried. (DIRK): So, you both get to be worried messes alone? Doesn't make much sense to me. JAKE: Well when you put it like that it doesnt. *mustache twitches as he pouts* (DIRK): I know. *shhh. pats his cheek.* JAKE: *lets him pat at his cheek just. Looking at him. Gosh. So adoring.* (DIRK): *don't look at him like that, baka... but he lets the silence stretch on for a moment, gazing back at him.* You're such a sap. JAKE: Hardened and fossilized to amber. *WITH LOVE.* (DIRK): *BINGO. DINO DNA.* Heh. (DIRK): So, are you gonna go see me, or are you just going to stand there daydreaming about how beautiful I am? JAKE: *The question doesn't seem to register with Jake for a second. Wasn't he already seeing him?? Oh right. The realization clicks.* Fuck youre right! I should! (DIRK): Of course I'm right. *pats his cheek again. silly boy.* JAKE: *The silly boy is leaning to press a smooch to his cheek.* ...Thank you. (DIRK): *oh. he ducks his head down a little, bashfully.* Thank yourself. The only reason I'm here helping you is because you believed that I could. JAKE: And thats not an excuse to thank you anyway?? *kisses him again but this time brushes whiskers at the top of his head* Thank you thank you and thank you. (DIRK): *ARGH.* Oh my God. Stop. *he's so flustered...* JAKE: Okay fine then. *that doesnt stop him from taking his face with both hands and nuzzling at his hair anyway* Ill be on my way. (DIRK): ... Ok. *leans into him a little. only just a little...* JAKE: Well see each other soon! But for now i have a fiance to attend to! JAKE: Stay safe would you? (DIRK): *snorts a bit* Of course. (DIRK): ... And you too. JAKE: *collapses him into a big crushing hug. Squeezes.* (DIRK): *slowly and carefully wraps his arms back around him too, nuzzling a little into his shoulder.* JAKE: *LIFFS him a little bit before setting him back down* Hehehehe! JAKE: Now then!!!! Off i go!!!!!!! *dramatic pose* To territories unknown and the man im set to marry!!! (DIRK): ... Holy shit. Get out of here then, you dork. *snickers some more... and casually slaps his butt a little to get him going.* JAKE: YOINKS. *jumps forward a little bit but laughs it off. This is normal.* Here i go wish me luck!!!! *bolts out the door* (DIRK): *as if he needs it... because jake believes in the dirk that believes in him.*

#fragmentedemissary #brain ghost dirk #in which thank you thank you and thank you

DIRK: -comes home pretty late today. nothing too unusual. he's tired, mostly, which is the main thing keeping his frustrations from dictating his mood. he enters the room quietly, pausing near the door to kick off his shoes, not making much effort to see if anyone is up and about yet.- JAKE: -is showerbound! As indicated by the faint shower noises in the distance. Don't mind him. He's had a smelly day full of wrestling sparring bots for fun.- SOLLUX: -Of course, he's awake, too. He wasn't great at sleeping to begin with, but being blind makes sleeping normally even more difficult, so he's just up and sorting an array of their things in the kind of restless way he does when he's not being intentionally productive but just can't sit still.- DIRK: -it's kind of nice that things are so quiet. he can feel a headache coming on. as much as he would like to just fall into bed, there's too much guilt for being so absent lately nagging at him. a bad combination with the longing to see more of everyone. he shuffles over to sollux, watching him work for a second before he announces his presence while reaching out to rub at his shoulder.- DIRK: Hey. What are you doing there? SOLLUX: --! -well shit. He definitely got lost in his thoughts.- uh. SOLLUX: -he already forgot, distracted as he was in his head. Apparently, he was rearranging everything in this particular drawer.- SOLLUX: ... s0rting? SOLLUX: i d0n't kn0w. DIRK: Ah. I feel that. DIRK: -leans down to kiss on his head- It looks pretty well sorted to me, though. Good job there. SOLLUX: thanks. i try. apparently. SOLLUX: -he's willing to shove that thing closed now and turn into him, instead, though.- DIRK: -wraps arms around him... just kinda drapes casually.- I'm tired as shit. SOLLUX: give me s0me. SOLLUX: this sucks. DIRK: Hmm... What was that you were telling me about snuggling? SOLLUX: i'm g0nna bite y0u. -he's not gonna.- DIRK: Do it. Bite me. DIRK: And snuggle me. SOLLUX: what if i 0nly did 0ne 0f th0se things. DIRK: Well, either way. SOLLUX: -he feels like Dirk really is tired, so he just nuzzles closer, making some attempt to be merciful.- SOLLUX: -maybe with a little nibble. that's fair.- DIRK: Yeah. There you go. Sample my delicious beef. -sways a little- SOLLUX: h0w were the idi0ts? JAKE: -bathroom door suddenly bursts open and in strides English the man himself. Fresh and clean, he is pajama clad and ready for sleep times. Appears surprised that Dirk is here but it's a good surprise.- So hes arrived! Its about friggin time. Whats this about idiots? DIRK: -a question he usually answers with noncommital grunting, today he answers with frustrated grunting, then looking to squeaky clean english to acknowledge his larger than life entrance.- Well, I got into it with Eridan. JAKE: What! A beef with eridan? Im hearing this correctly? -aggressively scrubs at his ear with towel- And what did the man say this time? SOLLUX: -he's gonna cling on that note. well, not because of it, but just because he was going to anyway.- (in a sh0cking twist n0 0ne c0uld have seen c0ming...) DIRK: -clings back, but starts to drag sollux over to their bed.- Quiet you. Even though your sarcasm is entirely warranted. DIRK: He got all pissy because I don't understand "the importance" or "the principle" of the captain title. Not what said title entails, or even what it represents. DIRK: Just the title. DIRK: Which I adamently insisted was bullshit. It's not wonder he drove himself nuts in that position if he was obsessing over that garbage. DIRK: But I don't care. There are more important things to worry about. -plops into bed. oof.- JAKE: -eyebrows knit. What a weird thing for them to argue over.- Ah... yes youre right about that of course. JAKE: Maybe hes suspicious or even worried blind that without the title you wont be taken seriously? SOLLUX: -IS DRAG. he's not fighting about it. his sarcasm IS entirely warranted.- SOLLUX: s0unds like a l0ad 0f the usual shit t0 me. DIRK: I think he's just been brainwashed by Europan and Alternian ideals into believing that his worth is dictated by societally implemented appellations, because troll culture is extremely separatist and Eridan believes that any moniker placing him above others is the highest honor a person can receive. DIRK: And he expects me to agree, but I don't. I couldn't give a shit less. I just want to make changes around here that mean actually progress. And that resolve is what earns people respect. Maybe if he had learned that sooner, the stress wouldn't have gotten to him. -pulls his shirt off while he rants- DIRK: Not that it isn't a difficult job in and of itself, but shit. Don't need to go makin' it even more complicated for yourself. SOLLUX: -well. HE'S NOT WRONG.- i'm g0ing t0 guess he still d0esn't agree. DIRK: -another grunt- We've decided to pick up the discussion at another time. DIRK: -there go his pants and shades while he's at it. he flops back, rolling himself into the blanket and laying on his side looking grumpy.- SOLLUX: -well it's about time he stopped moving around so Sollux can get in there. here comes a bug.- SOLLUX: that's an interestingly civil way t0 put it. JAKE: -golly... it all sounds complicated. Jake is also making his approach for the bed, letting himself get comfy. In the end, he just puts a supportive hand at the back of Dirk's head.- DIRK: -makes another sound, not quite a grunt, low but pacified by the snuggles and affection.- I gotta be civil, I guess. DIRK: I don't wanna worry about it right now, though. We'll sort it out. Probably. JAKE: Its good youre keeping a cool head in this. It must not be easy! DIRK: ... It's not. -fidgets a little, realizing this isn't exactly Relatable conversation, and he'd rather not overpower it with his problems, particularly the kind that are just going to keep coming up.- DIRK: But I've got it. DIRK: What... have you guys been up to? -he's the best at small talk- JAKE: Nothing of terrible note or consequence. -ruffling Dirk's hair.- That security system of yours is really coming together i must say. JAKE: We now know almost every intimate detail of the ongoings of the ship. Way to go! DIRK: Oh. Good. -it sounds so INSIDIOUS when he puts it like that...- SOLLUX: -he's definitely not snickering about that or anything, NOT AT ALL.- shit's ab0ut t0 get real intimate. SOLLUX: this is what we've all been waiting f0r. SOLLUX: a ship that is 0fficially safe f0r w0rk. DIRK: Goddammit. SOLLUX: ir0nic, isn't it. DIRK: So ironic it gets me hot under the white collar. DIRK: Which is even more ironic. DIRK: It never ends. SOLLUX: you set us up f0r a self fulfilling d0uble reach ar0und 0f s0cially acceptable innuend0s. SOLLUX: and s0meh0w i'm n0t even rem0tely surprised by the w0rds i'm saying right n0w. JAKE: -he's still lying here trying to process the joke. Wait WAS it an ironic innuendo?? He is thinking hard over this and just ultimately decides... he doesn't get it. He'll laugh anyway though and be a good sport.- Hehe. DIRK: -snickers, working his arms around both their shoulders to pull them in close to him.- This is what happens when I'm out in charge of anything. JAKE: So youre saying its foreboding? -Drat, no Jake. You're supposed to pretend to have gotten the joke.- DIRK: -looks him, dead serious.- Yes. JAKE: Oh... -What do you say to that... he looks sheepish.- SOLLUX: new times are af00t. SOLLUX: and/0r adick. SOLLUX: lma0. DIRK: That's right. Welcome to the new age. DIRK: -waggles brows- JAKE: ...OH. -it hits him just then and now the doofus is blushing. What is this!!!- Dang nabbit. -pushes Dirk's face away and rolls until his back is towards him.- Thats enough from you. DIRK: -snickers as he's pushed back into sollux- Babe, no. Babe, wait. JAKE: Its too late in the evening for this kind of jibber jabber! -HUFFING. He's just salty because the joke occurred too late to him. SOLLUX: i think its exactly late en0ugh in the evening. DIRK: -turns to cling to Jake's back. Obnoxiously.- What kind of jibber jabber would you prefer? JAKE: The kind where you behave yourself preferably. -GRUMPS tho he doesnt seem to mind the clinging- SOLLUX: g00d luck chuck. DIRK: Since when have we ever behaved ourselves? -nuzzles- JAKE: Uh since were men of responsibilities now??? You could at least make an attempt. JAKE: Also that was an excellent movie sollux. Hilarious! I think i could stand to watch it again soon. SOLLUX: fuck. SOLLUX: fuck, chuck. JAKE: I think the premise of the movie was to absolutely fuck chuck and then proceed to meet your one true love! DIRK: Oh my God. DIRK: -tries to quell Jake's grump with a neck smooch.- SOLLUX: yes it was. SOLLUX: but als0 just, fuck chuck. JAKE: Youre sending mixed messages homebrolio. -big dog sighs.... okay. He can accept the neck smooches.- DIRK: He's speakin' more of that jibber jabber is what he's doing. Way to be insensitive, Sollux. JAKE: Eh. I forgive him. DIRK: Oh, so it's just me who gets told off? JAKE: Absolutely. DIRK: Fucker. DIRK: -dramatically rolls away and clings to sollux instead.- JAKE: -so satisfied and gets comfy with this here billard print pillow. B) - SOLLUX: -omfg- y0u can get r0wdy at me if y0u want. B) JAKE: But i like you too much! It simply wouldnt be fair. SOLLUX: i als0 l0ve t0 suffer. SOLLUX: -he's biting Dirk again.- JAKE: Not at my expense you dont! -hehehehe- DIRK: Ouch. Ok I've dealt with this enough. -BITES HIM BACK- JAKE: -makes the mistake of glancing to see what the hell theyre doing and just. Slowly goes back to lying on his side. Firmly staring ahead.- SOLLUX: nnnngh. -THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG.- SOLLUX: -annoy u into the bites- DIRK: How do you like that? -nibbles aggressively- DIRK: You know, Jake likes to be bitten too. JAKE: Dont you dare drag me into your ploy of debauchery. DIRK: I can't help it that you get insta-boners when you're chewed on. JAKE: ITS NOT LIKE I CAN HELP IT EITHER YOU SUNNAVA BITCH. DIRK: -SNRRRKK- Jake, shhhh. SOLLUX: -fuCKING SNRKS- SOLLUX: 0h 0kay, i'm writing that d0wn. SOLLUX: jake aka b0ysnack. JAKE: Write it down all you like i only need to hide the paper. -flushing angrily against this pillow. He's glad he doesnt have to look anyone in the eye.- SOLLUX: manfeast. SOLLUX: dude buffet. DIRK: Bro banquet. JAKE: The utterance of these words has to be more a reflection on you two than me. JAKE: I refuse to claim anything less than innocence. Guitless of your depravity i stand! And will for always! DIRK: You'll feel much better when you release yourself from that sexual repression, Jake. There's no shame here. DIRK: Oh. Mealtime male. SOLLUX: supper s0n. DIRK: Mister dinner. JAKE: .....................................And thats a wrap folks. Time for bed. -huddles even MORE into himself and shrugs off his glasses. HE'S 500% DONE.- DIRK: Jake, come on. Don't be that way. -bumps his butt at him- JAKE: I will be however way i damn so please. -GRUMPS at the booty bumps. His ass is unmoving against Dirk's fine rump.- DIRK: -turns to look at him again- Even if I said please? SOLLUX: alm0st definitely even then. SOLLUX: dude s0unds seri0us. JAKE: Especially if you say please. -COLDLY KEEPS HIS BACK TO HIM.- DIRK: There must be something I can do to make you less sore at me. JAKE: Im highly sore at you! Let me sleep on it and i will reconsider. -goes quiet for a second before giving off very loud FAKE SNORES.- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. SOLLUX: ... SOLLUX: think he's s0re at y0u. JAKE: -SNORRRRRRRRRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- DIRK: Jake, dude. We know you're awake. Tone it down. -YOU'RE GONNA WAKE THE BABY- JAKE: -snores.... quieter...- DIRK: -good... he's going to roll himself and sollux closer to jake, though.- Guess we should just get cozy and call it a night, then. -squishes jake slightly.- JAKE: -They are so cuddly... he can't deny that. Jake will comfort them with his back muscle fat. Yes good.- SOLLUX: -mutters lovingly- g0 t0 sleep y0u fufkign peice 0f shat. DIRK: (I'll bite you again.) SOLLUX: (y0u w0n't.) DIRK: -BITES- SOLLUX: (0w!) JAKE: -is feeling all this happen in close proximity. God damn it.- DIRK: -nibbles at his neck.- (Did you bathe today because you taste awful.) SOLLUX: (0h my g0d.) DIRK: (And where's the goddamn beef?) SOLLUX: (if y0u've g0t beef, take it up with my herdbeast pr0d.) DIRK: (Alright. Break it out. Let's do this.) JAKE: -You really think HE'S gonna be the one to wake up Citrin?? Jake is offended by those wildly tossed accusations. Not to mention BASELESS. Harrumph!-

#in which manfeast #twofoldacrimony #technetronicTactician

circuitousgrievance

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#circuitousgrievance #pesterlogs #in which SO LONG AND THANK YOU FOR THE FISH

📱 (Damara)

GT: WHATEVER YOU HAVE HEARD I DIDNT DO IT! IT WAS A SET UP I SAY!!!

📱

GT: Shit embezzled. Several days later and i only just realized were no longer working the same department!GT: All that fuss for a transfer holy smokes! Hah!

roleplayers-ink

Send 📱 for a late night text from my muse.

JAKE: *running into the gym at high speeds. He has a punching bag to rip apart!* ROXY: *She's already in there. Dripping sweat and throwing punches, it might look like warm ups or showing off her form but as she shoots her fists very solid green cubes WUMP against two propped up mattresses and CLUNK on the floor* JAKE: *skitters to a hault, suddenly very vividly remembering his promise to Eridan. Golly, how could he have almost forgotten?? The jungle man is trotting up to Roxy with nary a shred of fear.* Howdy do miss rox n box! May i join you? ROXY: hey jake *She hears him before she sees him but lowers her fist and turns to Jake panting a little. Gestures to the empty space around her* sure go nuts JAKE: *oogles the cubes with much curiosity* By george how are you doing that? *AMAZED* ROXY: giant gd space worms man ROXY: at least the one that gave me this business wasnt a dick JAKE: Oh! You mean the super powers right? JAKE: Im told i have a few of my own! Although theyre nothing like... or maybe. They are? JAKE: Popping cubes out of nowhere? ROXY: whats yours do? *If he's not gonna WORK IT she just turns back to keep on throwing punches (and cubes)* JAKE: Ah... its more of the sense of altering reality? *fiddles with his fingers, bashful* I think? ROXY: then u should work on it so you can use it to kick some ass ROXY: or just work on it in general JAKE: *looks surprised* Oh! Do you think so? Wont that be dangerous? ROXY: well we are on a compromised planet that well have to evacuate soon so ROXY: i think its fair game *punch punch* JAKE: Hah! How very dry spirited of you to say miss lalonde! *thumbs at his chest* And if its a challenge you ask then its a challenge i accept! JAKE: I believe this planet will stay safe of scouring enemy eyes or my name isnt jake english! JAKE: If i believe it then by gosh its bound to come true. Thats how my brand of magic works you know! ROXY: *glances at him* is it? ROXY: what like seeing stuff? *like aunt ruth, but she's hecked up from here to alternate heres on infinite* JAKE: No? I simply believe something will happen... and it does! It works like a charm! JAKE: Would you like to give it a test? Ive been feeling all colors capable lately!! *BOUNCES ON HIS FEET* ROXY: *That sounds weird and super fake but who was she to judge* alright sure *lowers fists again* JAKE: Uh... JAKE: Well shucks. I dont even know how someone might test something like this. ROXY: here i got something ROXY: *wanders over to a cube and lifts it, it's heavy very weighty, dense metal then lobs it to him* lets say thats light as a carton of eggs JAKE: Huh? *catches it? It's light as eggs, he assumes. And so it is?? He holds it curiously.* ? ROXY: hm *lobs him another* thats hyper compressed titanium JAKE: Wuh- *catches it and WHEEZES WITH EFFORT.* HOLY MACKERAL THIS IS HEAVY. Where are you getting the strength to toss these lassie??? ROXY: i eat wheaties JAKE: *gingerly sets it on the ground, huffing with effort* JAKE: This is fun hehe! ROXY: *what a dork* i guess however your thing works it works ROXY: hm ROXY: lets dry somethin else now ROXY: *goes to stand in front of him, fists raised* JAKE: *Hm? Raises his fists?* What are we doing now? ROXY: this isnt gonna hit you ROXY: *throws punch and shoots out a cube. Softer than the others. Like a compact little pillow* JAKE: *Of course it hits him! He has no reason to believe an object flying at him wouldn't. It bounces off his chest.* Hoo hoo heh! ROXY: ok no see this is where you focus on it not hitting you ROXY: like it someone has a gun to your head and youre just thinking boy im sure that guns gonna jam ROXY: then it does JAKE: Uhhh well gee. Thats a shad morbid isnt it? ROXY: its situationally appropriate ROXY: but sure ROXY: lets start simple ROXY: *drops a void pie in her hands* JAKE: *he is crossing his arms at her* Situationally appropriate my left boot i say! ROXY: is this gonna hit u JAKE: Ah depends? Is that a pie? *looking at it curiously* ROXY: probably JAKE: It sure looks like a pie. ROXY: might just be one JAKE: Im thinking its a pie! *and a pie it is.* ROXY: great now is this pie gonna hit u JAKE: If you throw it chances are it will? ROXY: :/ close ur eyes JAKE: Is this going to turn graphic? ROXY: probably JAKE: Dont say that! Now i shant ever shut my eyes! ROXY: jake JAKE: Roxabeth. ROXY: shut your eyes cuz if ur not gonna train after askin to join me then??? JAKE: What! *looks apalled* What do you mean then?? ROXY: then why did u ask??? like the point is to train JAKE: Maybe i am enjoying this brief time of monkeyshines with you? JAKE: Its no crime. ROXY: ....no its not ROXY: look i just want u to get better at this whole power thing JAKE: Oh but i am pretty good at the whole power thing! I think? JAKE: Its how i found grandma english at long last! JAKE: After being seperated by a whole entire alternative reality... ROXY: which is gr8 but thats more in the scheme of things vs the now ROXY: if you concentrate enough you could make at least yourself untouchable JAKE: Ohhh uh. I am not sure it works that way? *scratching his head* At least i have never considered it to work that way. JAKE: It seems like an awful bought of arrogance to assume i would be going into a fight and coming out unscathed wouldnt it? ROXY: *shrugs* i feel like ud be forgiven for that JAKE: Erm... *he shifts around* Roxy i feel as if ah. JAKE: Maybe perhaps. JAKE: Am i... disappointing you? ROXY: ur not im just tryin to help you JAKE: Do what? Exactly? *nudges a cube on the ground* ROXY: *looks at him like ????* not get ur shit pushed in ROXY: that seems like itd be handy to kno JAKE: Well yes thats all fine and dandy but. JAKE: Usually in a scrap i know what im getting into? All the prepration in the world wouldnt mean a damn if i didnt! JAKE: But we cross our fingers and hope for the best anyhow right? JAKE: Come hell or high water. ROXY: thats not getting a tad old? ROXY: maybe its just me but im sick of having other people shove their collective boots up our asses ROXY: whats even better than crossing your fingers??? having a plan or something slightly resembling a plan ROXY: so everyones not lookin around with their respective junk in their hands while we get picked off attack after attack ROXY: but i mean hey maybe it really is just me JAKE: *looking at her with such concern* Roxy... JAKE: Were at the right end of a rebellion. Of course things are going to happen. Its... part of the job description. JAKE: But alas. Um. Its not as though... us being incapable is the problem. *Actually no. That makes him MAD. He is going to say something.* JAKE: If that is the reason you are trying to help me then by the by im afraid im going to have to reject your so called OFFER. JAKE: You havent any right to tell me or any one else on this ship what they are and are NOT capable of!! We know why were here and we know what the stakes are! JAKE: So mosey down from your high horse missy! Were all EQUALS in this shit fest arent we?? ROXY: *high horse??* who the fuck said ROXY: no one was equal ROXY: aside from u ROXY: with your mouth ROXY: and trying ass attitude cuz thats not a thing im even insinuating JAKE: Were equal in the sense that... you shouldnt be the one to shovel the responsibility of acting the bigger person! The one with a directive??? JAKE: I only think im plenty capable in a pinch! Magics be damned! I dont need magic to pack a punch! ROXY: ok so nuts 2 this ability i was just given ROXY: sure its unique to myself and no one else has it prolly ROXY: and it might be super helpful ROXY: but thats not me ROXY: im not that guy ROXY: im the fist guy and thats all i ever will be ROXY: aint broke dont fix it ROXY: am i catch in that right JAKE: No i mean... i dont have to have magic to believe in myself!!! JAKE: AUGHHH WOMAN. STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH. JAKE: *throws up his arms* Just what the criminy is wrong with you?? So fixated on morality and acting as if being human and imperfect just isnt GOOD enough. ROXY: ur doin a good job putting words in your own mouth *she was trying to help these assholes and all she's gotten was sass. fuck all that tbh* ROXY: maybe im sick of watching people DIE?? JAKE: Hells BELLS SO AM I????? *why he shout* JAKE: So is ANYBODY! ROXY: *swells her chest and scowls instead of being impassive* then why arent any of you fuckers WORKING WITH ME!? ROXY: why do i have to fucking pull teeth because i give a shit about who lives and who dies!? ROXY: how hard is it to understand that maybe this bitch is getting in my grill because shed like to not see me face down in a puddle of my own innards! JAKE: Bitch you call yourself?? Nobody is calling you a bitch! I am not calling you a bitch! JAKE: Fearing for your friends is one thing but making your friends AFRAID OF YOU IS A WHOLE OTHER BALLPARK. JAKE: I am very afraid of you right now!!!!!!!! *and it is true, he is doing his best to puff up* ROXY: *that makes her pause at least, tears very clearly lining her eyes* fine...! ROXY: fine ROXY: whatever ROXY: *pop! there she go* JAKE: What! *Okay, the strangest thing happens. Roxy is there one minute and the next, she's not. But he, Jake, has the weirdest premonition that she's somewhere close. Maybe she can hear him?* Im... sorry! Im very sorry roxy! JAKE: Where did you go? *he is getting upset and starting to blubber a little bit* JAKE: *walking around all these gd cubes* ROXY: *she wanted to go to her block but this cramped space isn't exactly what she had in mind. Maybe she wasn't thinking straight, but she felt like she was. About all of this and everyone just had it backwards. Jake's voice makes her groan kicking open the utility locker she was in. Still crying just, angry and crying* im goING to my room JAKE: The utility locker isnt your room! *OWL TURNS in that direction and circle over to her. He is still sniffling up a storm.* P... please dont go roxy. ROXY: i dont see why i shouldnt *roughly wipes her eyes* im not doin any of this right ROXY: and im not doing anyone any favors JAKE: I... *takes a deep shaky gulp and a step towards* I would just like a chance! A chance to help you! JAKE: You cant see how... phenomenally important you are from where you are standing. But i do! I see it every gosh darn day! ROXY: *frowns* im not tryin to be important i just wanna help! *How hard was it to understand* JAKE: Help me... not bite bullets with magic?? *wipes at his face, messily.* Roxy this cant be about me actually can it? JAKE: Youre hurting and... hurting much. ROXY: *ugh, she doesn't see how hard this is to understand* were ALL hurtin jake JAKE: But you? Im talking to you? *sniffles* Im really... very worried for you. JAKE: To hear you say things that you constitute as "situationally appropriate"? When honestly its terrifying as all blazes! JAKE: It makes me feel like... i dont know what im up against. Like i have no hope of standing my ground unless... unless... *more leaky tears* JAKE: Unless i do what you say? ROXY: none of us know what were up against jake what ROXY: whats wrong with fuckin ROXY: trying to make sure no one ELSE gets hurt?? JAKE: But at what cost i ask????? To see you twist yourself down until youre hardly recognizable??? JAKE: Whats the POINT of helping other people if youre left with nothing but a sliver of your former self roxy????? JAKE: Do you think i would like to stand to see you do this to yourself??? I will not! And i dont care how silly you think im being! ROXY: *again with this shit. She just looks tired now* if its gonna help then idc about me ROXY: honestly JAKE: But where does that leave the people that do? JAKE: ...Care about you. JAKE: Doesnt that matter? ROXY: yeah but... *sighs again* JAKE: *he just... shuffles his large self over* ROXY: *watches him and doesn't say anything. Well no she says something* sorry for scarin u JAKE: *he is draping her in a hug, so soft* I know you didnt mean any of it. JAKE: I do know youre trying to help. And you better believe im using all of my magic powers here to... promise! JAKE: As long as there keeps being a reason to fight and take back whats ours youre damn betting i will keep fighting! JAKE: And i can get better at these magic hoojinks! Just watch! ROXY: *he is a big soft. She leans against him, if he's tall then her face is in the tiddies, her fav part of her dude friends* i know u will JAKE: *rubs her back, shhh. Only tiddie hugs now.* I believe in you roxy. Tears sass and all. ROXY: *Tiddy hugs 4ever. Shhe relaxes tho, feeling like she should backtrack and redo every conversation she's had lately* thanks jake ROXY: i rly appreciate it JAKE: *He says nothing except for a big old whiskery smooch right to the top of her head.*

#tankedgnostomanic #in which you say things that you constitute as situationally appropriate but honestly it's terrifying

🌺 (dirk, porrim)

Definitely gotta start with Porrim first.

The first thing Jake always adores out of Porrim is her smile. It seems like she smiles with her whole self and just brightens up a room as soon as she walks into it. Couple that with it all being directed at him?? He’s the luckiest son of a gun who ever did talk to a pretty dame!

But on a deeper level, Jake likes how easy she is to talk to and will probably ramble for hours at her about nothing. He also loves listening to her talk about the things she likes because, of course, they still matter. Even if she feels like they don’t so much anymore. He likes knowing she has a sense of adventure somewhere and loves the idea of helping her make a difference.

Loves the boyish heartskips her cheek smooches leave. Jake has enjoyed passing the time entertaining elaborate fantasies about the adventures he’d go through just to sweep Porrim off her feet and earn the next cheek smooch. Possibly even a cuddle. That would be the day for Jake English.

Next is Dirk. Oh boy.

#gynecicArbitrator #technetronicTactician

roleplayers-ink

Send 🌺 to hear what my muse likes about yours

JAKE: *News of the obliterated planet has been fast traveling around the ship. It's devastating, of course, but things of these magnitude can only be comprehended so well with Jake. One thing he CAN comprehend is the subject of hope and good cheer! And he has a feeling someone important was in need of it right now. He trots all the way up to Eridan's cabin, knocking at the door.* JAKE: Yoo hoo? Captain? Are you home? ERIDAN: *OPENS THE DOOR DRAMATICALLY, STARING DOWN AT JAKE IN SILHOUETTE WITH GLOWING EYES* JAKE: *perks up, bright eyed and oblivious as ever. It's his good pal, Eridan!* What ho man! I was on the search for you and lo and behold. Here you are! ERIDAN: what do you want soldier ERIDAN: dont waste my time JAKE: Soldier? *gosh, he can't help but be flattered being addressed so.* Oh i thought id stop by and... well truth be told i have a present for you! *big goofy grins* ERIDAN: *blinks* what ERIDAN: what present JAKE: *nabs something out of his sylladex, flipping it in the air. As it lands in his hands, it turns out to be the severed head of the robot he defeated in combat.* A spoil of war i thought youd be the one to appreciate! :D ERIDAN: *stares at the head* was that from the fight yesterday JAKE: Youre damn right it is! And there will be more where that comes from! *offers the head out to Eridan* I can promise you that!!!! ERIDAN: *ACCEPTS THE HEAD, and guesses he can probably find a place for it in his office* is that all you came around for *squints at him su spiciously* JAKE: Huh? I guess not??? *twirls his mustache a lil. Eridan might finally notice the bandages making up his arms and elbows.* I wanted to see how my good friend eridan was doing! JAKE: So... how are you eribud ole pal? ERIDAN: *tsks some* im fine why would i be anythin else *stares VERY COLDLY at jake* JAKE: Well shucks man! Theres some knotted up malarky happening out there!!!! JAKE: If you were to ask me id say i was unsettled to say the damn least. *nods* ERIDAN: well im not ive already got a plan in motion that i am NOT tellin you about JAKE: Uh... *but then he ends up snorting, crossing his arms over his chest* Of course youre going to have a plan. Thats your very name and game as captain! JAKE: Sir man with a plan! JAKE: I guess what im trying to get around to saying is... JAKE: *reaches out and claps his hand on Eridan's shoulder.* Im with you eridallop of daisy! Wherever you want to go! ERIDAN: the hell did you just call me *SQUINTS HARD AGAIN* ERIDAN: but wait so yould follow me anywhere JAKE: Youre darn tootin i would! To the ends of the universe and back! :D JAKE: Its my solemn pledge sir!!!! *SALUTES* ERIDAN: so you think goin to alternia an hidin under the enemies nose would be a solid plan JAKE: *eyes grow wide with astonishment* Holy smokes!!! Disguise ourselves like camoflauging cephalopods of the ocean sands while the predatorial sharks circle overhead??? JAKE: That kind of hiding? ERIDAN: more or less JAKE: It seems a shade color precarious. *scratching at his neck with much thoughtfulness* Like hiding in the very skirts of the baroness herself! JAKE: One wrong move and were toast! ERIDAN: we wont be toast cuz i have a plan up my gills involvin appealin to their interest were they to find us ERIDAN: ive already been invited once or twice to their ranks anyway an i can just tell them im interested as long as none a my allies are affected JAKE: Haggling the hagglers huh? Well... *strokes his mustache now* On one hand it certainly could be the SAFEST route. But um. JAKE: Golly eridan. If you joined up with alternia we might never see you again. *This thought makes him very very sad.* JAKE: And whos to say that an empire responsible for desecrating a whole planet wouldnt just turn on us the first chance they got? JAKE: We cant just side with the bad guys and hope to goodness were spared! Thats quitters talk!!! It means they get to win and everyone whos passed well... it was all for nothing! *he is puffing up* ERIDAN: its not quitters talk all a you are just jealous you didnt fuckin come up with it first JAKE: It is too quitters talk. ERIDAN: is fuckin NOT its the ONLY OPTION WE GOT JAKE: I mean if we have to die and all... shouldnt it be in a blaze of glory? Fighting for justice! Honor! Peace! ! JAKE: Not balking off with our tails between our legs!!! JAKE: THATS QUITTERS TALK HOMBRE MIO. *he's all fired up, he's practically glowing with it.* ERIDAN: oh yeah an what makes anythin you could come up with SO much better *HE'S GROWLING* JAKE: Of course not bro! But i also know... we wouldnt be able to do it without you. JAKE: Just what would happen to the rest of us if youre gone? :( JAKE: Not something i would like to think about. JAKE: I say we stick it together come hell or high water. JAKE: Its all we have left wouldnt you say? *offering his hand out to Eridan* ERIDAN: *he REFUSES to take that hand jake is offering and just continues to stand there scowling at him and growling* JAKE: *Jake isnt deterred by him at all.* I know youre scared... but i believe in you buddy. I believe in all of us! And i believe you can be the grandest captain this ship or any other ship has ever SEEN if you only have faith in us too! ERIDAN: what are you doin *growling softens, but he's still trying to be puffy and aggressive* JAKE: Im being here for you amigo. *beams at him* Its what friends do! ERIDAN: well i dont want it JAKE: Oh yes i think you do. *he is coming. He's doing it. Jake is making this hug hapen.* ERIDAN: *O____O* *time to dive into his block and hope jake doesn't follow* JAKE: WAH. *OF COURSE HE'S GONNA FOLLOW. Lad scampers after Eridan.* Get back here you stonewalled piece of captain you!!!!!! ERIDAN: *SHIT, HE FOLLOWED. He dives into the bathroom and hides in the bathtub, which he almost always keeps filled with water* JAKE: *Woah, he doesn't think he's been in this room before?? He can't help but get distracted for a second.* ERIDAN: *there's a face toilet in here* JAKE: *Hoo hoo. Hahaha! He has to stop and laugh at it for a second.* ERIDAN: *peeks out of the tub, scowling* JAKE: Hahahahaha is this your toilet man?? Does it have a name????? ERIDAN: -pauses, still unsure of all this- uh its witherson ERIDAN: rox named him JAKE: Thats right! Witherson!!! -he is absolutely delighted by these turn of events and marvels at the face toilet.- I think i need myself one of these in my own bathroom. I have just decided! ERIDAN: you can have ours JAKE: Youre bestowing your toilet onto me? :O ERIDAN: yeah but rox will probably fight you for it JAKE: Oh shucks. Now thats a woman i dont want to double cross. Although it IS awfully tempting... -Focus, English. Jake remembers why he's here in the first place and fixes Eridan with a curious look.- JAKE: ... -squats down on the bathroom floor, staring at him.- ERIDAN: -frowns back at him- JAKE: So then. JAKE: What is it youre doing in there erifriend? ERIDAN: stayin away from you JAKE: And why the boot shuffles would you do that?? My bark is much worse than my bite i swear it! -sits now, crossing his legs- ERIDAN: i dont want you fuckin touchin me JAKE: Then i wont touch you! JAKE: Although i say eridash and dawson. Youve never complained about it before? -Has he ever been rejected for a hug before??? Jake isn't sure what this feeling is.- ERIDAN: -STANDS, asnd probably looks pretty ridiculous with all that water falling off of him- no i suppose i havent vannylociraptor - Today at 7:09 PM JAKE: I like hugging you! -stays crouched and watches him. Him tall.- Would you like a towel? ERIDAN: ill take a towel -steps out of the tub- JAKE: -scrambles off the ground but not before flipping a fluffy white towel out of his sylladex and handing it over.- There you are! ERIDAN: -ACCEPTS and starts drying himself off, continuing to eye jake, like he's expecting him to go back on what he said and try to hug him anyway- JAKE: -He's thinking about it... He shuffles his feet and all in the meantime.- ... JAKE: I think it will all be okay eridan. Maybe it doesnt seem that way in this moment in time... but damn it! JAKE: Its in the dark that the great light of hope shines the brightest! ERIDAN: -wow this guy is cheesy, thinks one of the other kings of cheese- its incredible that you are an actual existin fuckin entity JAKE: Well gadzooks man! I could say the same thing about you! -big goofy grins like an idiot- ERIDAN: -SQUINTS AT- JAKE: -Hug him. He really wants a hug.- ERIDAN: -GOD FUCKING DAMN IT- JAKE: -inching closer. He's gonna. He's gonna do it.- ERIDAN: -NO!!!!!- -FURROWS HIS BROWS- the fuck are you doin JAKE: OH. Nothing! JAKE: -thinks fast- I wanted to snap a picture of witherson here! ERIDAN: -CONFUSED- well okay if you really want one although i dont know why the hell you would JAKE: Why its the epitome of comedy of course!!!! It deserves a dollop of appreciation! -SNAPS A SHOT OF THE TOILET.- JAKE: ... JAKE: -quickly throws his arms around Eridan's middle, squeezing him tight. YOLO.- ERIDAN: -O__O- ERIDAN: -SQUIRMS- JAKE: Ahoo! This was a good talk! -squeezes him with STRONG ARMS and then releases him almost immediately. Starts bolting out of the bathroom.- Better not wear out my stay as they say!!! ERIDAN: -GASPS FOR AIR- JAKE: -And he's outta there!-

#caligulasacquisition #in which jake believes in his captain

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#technetronicTactician #pesterlogs #in which yikes this sure backfired didn't it?#but it's cute anyway

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