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PETYA ALEXANDRIE KAITYA MORAN ;; " Never trust a survivor until you find out what she did to stay alive. " MOBILE: LINKS TO ALL PAGES HERE sherlock original (ish) character usually known as Alex Enfield to the rest of the world. based around bbc sherlock with multiple !verses, independent roleplay blog written by dais. ***PLEASE READ BIOGRAPHY AND GUIDELINES BEFORE INTERACTING!***

[gunmetalgrey-trashpile]

❝ never trust a survivor until you find out what she did to stay alive. ❞

                                              independent original character, alex moran                                               est. 2014, written by dais                                 biography & rules

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

working on the new blog with all the tweaks and getting my tags together, consider this a shipping call??

[leneemusing]

misc sentence starters

“  i wish i knew how to talk about it.  ”   “  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ”   “  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”   “  i wish i could hate you.  ”  “  take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.  ” “  i need you to trust me.  ”   “  i missed/miss you.  ”   “  she/he won’t listen to me.  ” “  let me do this for you. please.  ”   “  is there anything else you want to say to me?  ” “  tell me something happy.  ”   “  promise me.  ” “  i just want/wanted to help.  ”   “  let me explain.  ” “  i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me.  ”   “  i’m on your side.  ” “  i’ve got your back, okay? ” “  please, tell me you have a plan.  ” “  stay with me tonight.  ” “  don’t go. please.  ”   “  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be.  ”   “  talk to me.  ”   “  i did what i had to do.  ” “  we can’t keep going on like this.  ” “  i’m just tired.  ” “  i’m scared.  ” “  it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it.  ” “  it’s better to expect disappointment.  ” “  hope is dangerous.  ” “  i like seeing you smile.  ”   “  you look beautiful.  ”   “  be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ”   “  i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ” “  i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up.  ”   “  have a drink with me.  ” “  she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice.  ” “  you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ” “  can i help you?  ” “  i thought you’d like this.  ” “  do you wanna get out of here?  ” “  walk with me?  ” “  well, shit.  ”

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

corviine replied:

how dare u use things i absolutely already did and asked for against me

totally unforgivable, i am a monster

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

corviine replied:

are u saying you’re maliciously tempting me back with memes :/ bc that sounds like the kind of thing tha twould work on me bc im weak

PFFFT no what never you’re kidding as if

but since i’ve already written them...???

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

corviine replied:

grey vc: I DONT LIUKE KIDS I HAVE NEVER LIKED KIDS I HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN A CHILD SHUT UP

grey: what even is a child do they exist

alex: CONGRATUATIONS HONEY

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

❛ sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all. ❜ / grey

@corviine bc i Have been sitting on this for too long

Alex knew it was awful, but that was like waving a red flag to a bull. She couldn’t help herself. Honestly, how could anyone in her situation given that kind of temptation?

She raised an eyebrow, placing a hand so carefully over her stomach, her fingers drumming against her top gently.

“ I thought you wanted kids. Or am I imagining that conversation?”

Her face was blank, just the one raised eyebrow of interest. Nothing to give away her mischievous intentions.

This was almost certainly going to end in a fight, but a fight she just couldn’t resist.

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

corviine replied to your post: “This isn’t about love.” / grey @ alex,,,,

I MISS YOU TOO GODDAMN,,,,,,,,,,,, look out for my bastard ass hopping back on when i finally can tbh.

grey acting like this is a game of chicken and he won’t say sappy shit until she does? more likely than u think!!!! because he’s the worst and they’re both terrified of vulnerability thanks

he loves her :/ im gonna punch him til he says it :/

i am not letting grey off the hook here but look at her careful her words are and how she never actually says she loves him...

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

“This isn’t about love.” / grey @ alex,,,,

babe I SEE YOU @corviine

    “ Fuck you - you know it is.”

Her fit made contact with the wall, denting the plaster as a small puff of drywall flittered in the air. It was an act of desperation, to get a rise out of him for some emotion other than anger and resentment. 

    “ You think I would still be standing here if this was anything else?”

She stretched her fingers, almost certain she had done some serious damage.  Her eyes closed tight at the pain, but she opened them again to glare at him, ignoring it for now. It was ironic really, she was the worst person on earth at communicating. Well, second worst. 

    “ Tell me what you’re thinking. Or don’t. Just don’t expect me to hang around trying to fucking figure you out.”

Alex was growing tired of this, moving in circles with neither one of them really knowing where they stood. She could handle unspoken, but she couldn’t handle how he wanted to play pretend over and over each time they woke up. Like he was bigger than caring, like he could move on in a heartbeat.

Yes, getting emotionally involved was complicated. And they had to keep a distance, a healthy distance, to make sure there was some kind of safety net. It was hard to admit that the fourth or fifth night spent in his bed was going to be the last one this time.

His shirt dwarfed her, his scent still lingering on her skin. They could press each others buttons so perfectly that it had become routine.

    “ This hot and cold, it’s fucking with me. I don’t need you to come out and say some cheesy shit, just…”

Then what do you want? She wanted to tear anyone who touched him to pieces, know she was the only person who could make him moan. Yet that wasn’t so easy to say.Being something more came with a trade off, it meant promising her time and energy to only him. Alex ahd never been good at that.

    “ What is this?”

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

💔 (bitch ya’ll didn’t specify a muse so have another one for Bucky bc i loved this idea too much)

from some meme somewhere @epiitaphs

Your muse must mercy-kill mine.

    “ Quick and painless, alright?”

She stared at him, the grey eyes mirroring her own so well. 

No part of her was ready to die. But she had made peace that living wasn’t in her future a long time ago. 

After all, there wasn’t much left to live for if not to get her revenge. The shitty list of her bad choices was always going to catch up with her, no doubt there would be a welcome party at the gates of hell just for her. Maybe, if there was one thing she could do to leave him in peace, that was worth it.

The last thing she would ask him to do was fight it. No doubt this already left him conflicted, confused, struggling to figure out where the machine ended and the man began. The guard behind her knocked her down to her knees, looking up through the barrel of his weapon to the man who held it.

This was unfair.

His life was unfair. She wasn’t selfish enough to think she would be some kind of great loss to him, but Alex knew how much he had grown. Being forced to do this again, to be here, that was putting him back to where he started all over again.

Alex closed her eyes, taking one deep breath. One of not many now.

    “ I am sorry.”

[chamberbleda]

@gunmetclgrey an oddly specific au

Life is one-quarter skill and three-quarters luck. Because really, what are the odds that she find an empty, reinforced convenience store just a little off the border of their tiny cul de sac? The odds that no one has gotten past the very few trigger traps she’s set around a twenty-meter radius of the area? But approximately fifty-three days have passed since the outbreak began, and her luck is clearly running out.

Because there’s an alarming amount of the walking dead roaming about in the suburbs several blocks down the road. There’s a gash at the back of her leg that won’t be going any time soon. And there’s a stranger— a girl— standing in the middle of her store. Her store.

The double barrel gun in her hands isn’t loaded. She aims it at the other, anyways.

“Who are you and how did you get in here?”

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

Hungry was an understatement.

Alex couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten, and as she scaled the roof after weaving through all the odd hurdles in her path, she was honestly surprised her rumbling stomach hadn’t given her away. There had been a few places like this, barricaded and protected. By now, when she got inside, there was either a couple infected or no one around. Most had been ransacked or fallen victims it seemed.

She had moved through the air conditioning from the vents on the roof, quietly kicking at the shaft exit, glancing below to see if there was anyone roaming the aisles before she dropped down with a heavy thud. Nice to know her training was coming in useful.

The unexpected voice made her freeze though, hands visible till she turned to see the gun trained at her face.

    “ Pretty fucking rude to point a gun at someone and demand an answer.”

Also rude to break in, but society was different now. Her eyes scanned the red head, clocking the way she held her weight more to one side. If it came to a fight, that would be useful. Her stomach rumbled again at the sight of cans still on the shelves, and Alex rolled back her shoulders as she refused to give in.

    “ Drop it, now.”

There was no way she was in a position to be making demands, but more than once she had got what she was looking for simply by demanding it. Maybe her luck wasn’t quite done yet. Either way, there was no way she would make it to the weapon in her waistband before the woman could fire at this rate.

[rp-meme-glaceon]

Send "🌀" to find my muse, injured and alone after being beaten up

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

“If you need me, let me know”

from @epiitaphs a forever ago (making it leila bc i can)

    “ I need you-”

It had been a frustratingly long time since she had admitted that to anyone, even herself. Being alone had forged her walls higher than anyone could scale, maybe it was time she thought about that for longer than half a second. Given how many times Leila had been there to catch her; had made her smile; had been the one just there.

    “ I know I fucking suck at saying it, but I need a friend. I’m really glad that you’re it.”

She mattered. Of course, that made her a threat int he long run. But right now it was nice to have someone else care if she was alive, or to simply make dinner with.

    “ If you cook, I’ll clean up?”

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

‘‘ If I had to do the same again, I would.’‘

from a meme sent 100 years ago by @epiitaphs (ft. @apcgee bc I’m evil.)

She didn’t want to hear it, it crushed what little was left of her heart to have it confirmed. Yet honestly, it was a truth she had always known but couldn’t face. Her love for her brother was infinite, and until now, unconditional. If only he was capable of feeling the same.

    “ I know.”

She wiped a stray tear form her cheek, letting the silence crack at the other end f the receiver. Whatever was running through his head, be it self-righteousness or regret, it wouldn’t take away her pain. It wouldn’t bring Sherlock back, nothing could. She bit her bottom lip, steadying herself for a moment before she could carry on.

    “ But you know that’s why I can’t forgive you, right?”

Her hand covered her mouth for a moment, her bloody knuckles shaking her heartbeat ringing in her ears still.

   “ Anyone. Else.” Inside her, the storm started to swell, the bite back in her voice. “ Fucking anyone. You could have done this to any other person on the god damn planet but it had to be her.”

Of course it had to be her. If she thought about it, maybe this was some kind of revenge, Moriarty removing a distraction. That was thinking too much though, the reality of the situation was that she didn’t matter at all. Sherlock was a shiny toy, a new thing to play with until he got bored and destroyed it, like everything else he touched. 

    “ Did you even think about it? Did I cross your mind, at all, when he asked? Be fucking honest Sebastian because I need to know if I even exist to you.”

Sherlock has said that before. He doesn’t care for you, he’s never going to. She had a read on her brother, after all, Sherlock had been there. Through boarding school, through the worst of it. The only person to see Alex when she was truly invisible. 

    “ She’s - She’s gone.” 

Her fingers ran through her hair, her mind sweeping full circle. It kept racing over and over, trying to picture the scene Sebastian had watched on the rooftop. Finally hitting on the ache in her chest, coming to terms with her own guilt.

    “ You did this. We- I did this.”

[whatnotmemes]

——————–LOVE SENTENCE STARTERS change pronouns as needed.

“Do you love me?” “You don’t love me.” “Have you ever been in love?” “Do you still love him?” “I love this.” “I love you.” “I love her.” “I think I’m in love.” “I’ve never been in love.” “This isn’t about love.” “I’m not looking for love.” “I’m not in love.” “I don’t want to fall in love.” “Don’t fall in love with me.” “I have so much love to give.” “I look at you and all I see is love.” “Do you think you could love me?” “I never loved you.” “I never stopped loving you.” “I’m falling in love with you.” “I fall in love too easily.” “I’ve never been in love before.”

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

🐺 Growl at my muse

from some meme somewhere with @consultingsister

    “ You can growl at me all you want, it’s not going to change my mind.”

She didn’t look across the room at Cee, her lips turning up in a smirk as she took another sip from her glass. 

    “ You are not getting your hands on my phone, end of discussion.”

[gunmetclgrey-archived]

@epiitaphs replied:

together somehow they manage to cancel out some of each other’s foolishness, which is why i love and support them fully

they are going to end up crashing and dying in flames

but yknow at least they did it together and bucky made (1) friend