Darkling x brekker!reader
Warnings: fake deaths? Aleksander? He comes w his warnings S2 SPOILERS
Summary: The brekkers aren’t well with expressing concern without scowls and Aleksander haunts her dreams…but is it a dream?
An: ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
From what y/n could gather of passage of time through the light of lamp lit street to sun rays, it was nearly about two days she was locked up where she was. When she was taken away she couldn’t gather where she was, but by the looks of the place from outside it seemed like a work space and where she was locked in was like a storage unit. Not difficult for Kaz to figure out either, pekka wouldn’t keep her at any obvious locations, Nina used one of wylan’s creations to help unlock the numbered storage under Pekka’s name which Jesper found out about. Nina escaped alongside y/n as Kaz outwitted pekka to escape the office of paperworks.
Everyone was quite out of state when they reached the cemetery, a certain new safe space that Kaz held. Even the wraith was hurt of the fight from the mad man. The entire walk to the shed at cemetery neither of them said anything, a sharp frown on both the brekker siblings’ faces.
As Y/n sat on the small of a seat inside the shed next to a lantern Kaz leaned to her level and roughly with his gloved hand moved his sister’s face from the jaw a bit to see her injuries, the punches and supposed beating from pekka’s men, it hurt more than Kaz’s pride. That was his family, the one person he had sole responsibility over to not get hurt and that’s what ended up happening. Being the man he was, always his expression unreadable, however as of now he gritted his teeth and called our “Nina.” And backed away for her to heal y/n. It seemed he was furious, he often let what he felt show on his face.
The small of the shed lit with three lanterns fell silent as Nina tended to Inej and y/n. Y/n gestured for Inej to be looked at rather immediately because her wounds were fresh and deeper whilst she had been quite alright pressing against most her wounds and the cuts on her face. “Two days…” Kaz breathed “Two days you have been back in ketterdam and you get kidnapped. Your favourite sport it seems?” Kaz taunted his sister, everyone had had quite the day and Kaz wasn’t one to point fingers for casualties and mistakes but his fear of loosing his sister resulted into suppressed anger of why she was lost in the first place.
“Oh?” y/n scoffed “Why I am really sorry Kaz…I am really sorry of all the bad blood you have with the entire population of ketterdam got to me. Let’s see next time when you’re outnumbered by a group of muscular men twice your size and the whole stadwatch apparently whe—“
“I would never end up the way you did.” Kaz stated interrupting her midway. Inej and Jesper shared a look with another that read how much they dreaded being here for the siblings quarrel.
“Surely.” Y/n nodded “You most definitely would’ve ended up worse than me because you are far more dislikable than I am.” Y/n added with a shrug, with that Nina snorted a bit as she continues to concentrate on inej’s wounds.
“You were placed in the smallest of room, most undisguised underground place we could find yet you managed to get yourself kidnapped!” Kaz replied running a frustrated hand through this hair “Quite the talent you have!”
“I wasn’t even on the streets…I was walking the hallway of the shady underground hotel you placed me in and the stadwatch were patrolling inside the hotel could you imagine?” She replied defending her circumstances. She wasn’t even aware of the weight of the problems on them by pekka at the moment so she truly did not believe strolling the small hallway to clear her mind would do any harm.
“What part of not to leave your room did you not understand?” Kaz replied raising his brow, more so agitated now.
“You did not tell me the stadwatch was after us, you did not tell me pekka was after us, you did not tell me about the crow club! You never do and that’s your problem you never explain any circumstances to me! You simply expect me to be the seven year old again in some cottage where you’d put bricks by the door and tell me not to leave?” Y/n replied, growing up after Jordie, Kaz picked up on his traits of keeping their siblings safe in ketterdam. The last place for children to be alone and safe but somehow Kaz managed from shelters under long stairways to footpaths to abandoned cottages every unfortunate place until he got where he was. It was a difficult long childhood of ‘y/n don’t open the door for anyone but me’ ‘don’t peek through the window’ ‘don’t answer if anyone is at the door’ ‘hide here if someone breaks in’. It was difficult but the two Brekkers grew up in the time and made it out of the hard childhood. It was very nerve wrecking and full of anxiety for Kaz to leave his sister alone whilst he worked here and there so the two could eat and frightening for little y/n to wait in an empty cold place hoping her brother could make it back. However things had changed by far better for them over the time and as of now y/n hated how Kaz viewed her as the vulnerable responsibility of his again but in truth when Y/n was kidnapped Kaz just felt like that child again anxious and worried the whole day if his sister was alright. “If I am that much of a responsibility and a bother to you why didn’t you just leave me on the other side of the fold!”
“It’s almost as if your stupidity spreads because I truly regret not doing so!” Kaz replied with a scoff as he left the room and after a long awkward silence Wylan and Jesper followed him out too.
As Nina wrapped up Inej both of them shared a sympathetic look to y/n aware that kaz’s last words must’ve stung a bit but y/n’s face wasn’t phased at the slightest. She had known Kaz and all his outbursts all her life, not that it didn’t hurt at the moment she was familiar with everything hurting she almost didn’t care to encounter with his words. With Aleksander’s passing, she was simply numb at the time, Nina began to heal y/n’s wounds and her cuts but all she could think of was Aleksander. Every moment spent with him flashing across her mind however much she wanted it to stop. She shifted in her place for Nina to work on her wounds and her touch took her back to certain moments.
“You are exaggerating!” Y/n exclaimed as Aleksander placed her on their bed gently, quite the upset frown on his face as he didn’t utter a word. There had been a certain casualty on one of the second army bases and y/n had gotten hurt, not something of a large extent yet Aleksander was unsettled far more than she was.
“Told you not to.” He muttered in a hushed quite cross-with-you way. He crouched on his knees by the side of the bed to attend the wounds on her face again after the healers had done so already. Y/n was aware she couldn’t ask him not to, he treated the slightest of scratch on her like his own. “Does that hurt?” He asked flatly as he gently rubbed the ointment by cut.
“I am alright Aleksander truly I understand you worry-“ she tried to explain to him but he wasn’t having any of it.
“You were bleeding y/n you are anything but alright.” Aleksander said interrupting her, “I just don’t understand what was the need for that huh? The troop could have handled themselves, what if you would’ve been injured far worse? What if the healers weren’t around to get you so fast?”
“Well I am not injured far worse and the healers were around.” Y/n stated with a shrug and a suppressed chuckle escaped her as much as she wanted to appear serious about her well being to Aleksander she couldn’t help but find his made up worse possible scenarios excessive.
“It isn’t funny y/n!” Aleksander exclaimed. “It wouldn’t be funny if you were seriously injured and I wouldn’t be funny if I had lost you alright?” He spoke agitated standing up as he turned away from her, getting difficult to look in the eyes of his love realising he’d almost lost her.
“Aleksander…” Y/n exhaled softly and stood up taking a small step to reach him and tried to make him face her by placing her hands by his shoulders but his firmly did not, “Aleksander look at me.” She asked him and forcefully got him to turn around to face her. “I am alright, flesh and bone. I am in front of you I am alright—I understand your worry I truly do but if you worry about the littlest of injuries on me you—“
“How can I not? My entire world lies within you!” He sighed and took her hands in his, he knew she wasn’t wrong with whatever she was promoting to say but at the same time they wasn’t anything she could say that would ever get him to not worry, ever get him to sleep alright any night she is away from her on army bases, “I don’t even want to go that far but everytime you end up in some casualty the mere thought of loosing you…just makes me-I don’t even want to think of a world where you don’t exist. It’s pointless existence, it’s dark, it’s excruciatingly lonely and with you it’s not so I apologise if you feel like I overbear you with my worry but is it not possible for a man drunk on love to hold his beloved as if he’s holding the whole world?”
Aleksander had said that day, where was he now? Where was he now to hold his world? Made it an immense thing for never having to be in a world without her did he not consider the same for her? True love consumes one’s soul, he made every whim and every inconvenience fade away…then he fades away himself. A place he’d never come back from. How could he simply just leave her for herself, she hoped for the circumstances to be reversed, her to die for once whilst he would be alive to deal with the hurt. The painful reality.
“Y/n!” Nina exclaimed pulling her out of her thoughts as she blinked her eyes for a moment and looked back at the heartrender, still solemn and neutral as if the most fond memories of her love didn’t haunt her mind, a trait like kaz’s…never let it show on your face. “Where did you just leave for a second saints…” she exhaled and finished the last of wrapping on her wounds. “There…that’s done! Are you alright?” Nina asked her and shared a look with Inej, they both saw how she looked confusedly out of place.
“Yes, doesn’t hurt.” Y/n replied with a shrug keeping her answer short, staring off into the stone wall.
“But are you alright?” Inej asked furthering Nina’s previous question with a different tone, she meant to look out for kaz’s sister just as much as she would for him. She is all family he has left, at the end of the day the void of family was always so heavy “Don’t pay much mind to what Kaz said, he didn’t mean it.” Inej said trying to console y/n who let on to be alright but was upset and seemed visibly annoyed at kaz’s remarks. If only she’d known.
“He is right though…I should’ve stayed at that side of the fold.” I should’ve stayed with him, I should’ve gotten a proper goodbye. All those morose thoughts occupied her head yet if she didn’t say it herself nobody would suspect it in their wildest dreams what she had indulged in. For now she felt it pointless to tell anyone either ways, Kaz would find her stupid given he already did and the others would show their pity and try hard to be sorry for her loss yet her grief was her own. Not as if their sympathy could bring him back and not as if their words would make her feel better. It was all her own.
On further days Kaz had y/n stay in wylan’s little laboratory given he had a clean slate out of stadwatch record and the crows were subjected to check in time to time so it was the safest place he could arrange at the moment, on the little couch in the damp laboratory of Wylan’s, Kaz had crouched to the ground strapping some knives on her sister’s boots “Oh how smart is that Kaz if someone were to attack me it would just take me about ten minutes to kneel, undo my boots, undo the knots on the knife, unsheathe the knife and stab them! How clever! Given just keeping a knife in my hand would take me about a second but why risk that? We’ve to ensure I end up almost dead again so you get to—“ y/n was about to taunt him sarcastically even more as Kaz tightly secured the knives by her boot and handed her one in her hands.
“I borrowed these from Inej.” He said and placed another one on her side “The ones on your boots are back up knives, keep these handy…” he said pointing to the ones he just placed by her sides and stood up with his cane back on his feet, “You are aware how to use them?” Kaz asked, he knew she was but he wanted to mock her on how he had to ask to ensure that. Typical sibling way.
“I don’t know I think I need to recall…maybe I can try the pointy end of knife on that Sokol river eyebrow of yours as practise?” She snapped at him turning the sheathed knife between her fingers.
“My eyebrows are perfectly normal.” He scoffed turning away from the couch she was sitting on and gave a nod to wylan as he left after giving him some instructions of what more he’d wanted of his lab sorcery.
After a few visits from Jesper and Inej here and there Wylan’s rants about certain chemicals and portions as he worked finally tired y/n as she dozed off on the couch on the underground laboratory. In her dream she found herself in council chambers. Council chambers she was familiar with it was a second army tent, dark outside with a lantern in her hand. She saw herself walk inside the tent as a voice called out in the dream, “My love…” said he as he walked out of the shadows. Aleksander.
For a moment she saw herself in the dream just pause, considering everything she was considering at the moment, throwing something at him—herself perhaps, shouting at him, crushing him for leaving her, “Aleksander.” She breathed as he walked across the table to her closer proximity.
“My my…” he spoke grimacing as he softly placed his hand by her cheeks to examine her cuts “Look at what they did to you.” He said to y/n as she stared at him, what hurt far worse was seeing him in her dreams knowing this is the only place she could do so.
“You left me…” her voice trailed off ignoring her remark as she looked away from him not meeting his gaze. “After everything…you made the selfish choice, you’ve left. You’ve left this world leaving it for me to exist alone…without you.” She complained, she did this in her head all day, this was yet another fragment of it just in her sleep she gathered. Her mind trying to comfort her, visualising the voice of her complains.
Aleksander took her hands in his gently, his touch, his touch felt so real, so longed as if she had been home for the first time but in the back of her mind she was aware this wasn’t real “You took off the wedding ring…” he pointed out with a hushed tone, not upset nor angry just solemn understandingly sad tone.
“You abandoned me…” y/n repeated the subject she brought up, she took her hands out of his and gripped the collar of his kefta “You abandoned me! You died…you made promised-you-I loved you..I-I love you! And you aren’t here you died you’ve left me and-“
“I am here aren’t I?” Aleksander reminded her gently bringing her face to look at him, look at him in the eyes. With a soft smile he tucked the strand of hair behind her ear, he seemed his relaxed self, as if this was one of the serene evenings at little palace.
“No you’re not…” she said letting out a dejected huff and tears prickled her eyes. Arguing with her own mind is what this would be given it was her dream yet Aleksander seemed so…himself.
“I am.” He corrected her “I am right here for you…I-I wouldn’t ever leave you. Didn’t I promise you that?”
“You promised me and yet you left…” she repeated as if to herself, getting her mind to confirm over and over he is gone and to accept that. “You…why are you doing this?” She said moving away and rubbed her eyes, “The ghost of you is haunting my dreams…” she groaned cursing her mind playing tricks on her.
“Y/n listen to me…” This time he firmly placed his hands on her shoulders and made him face her “I haven’t left you. I’m not gone…” with that he simply vanished and y/n breathed heavily jolting out of her dream. It was a dream…It was a dream? It took herself a few moments to come to terms with that herself and get used to the surroundings as she found Jesper and wylan by her side staring.
“Are you alright?” Wylan asked as she jumped out of her seat on the couch, baffled but settled into reality her heart raced so fast.
“You look like you were being chased by wild dogs in an open field!” Jesper commented at her frantic state but she was too out of mind to register that.
“What does that even mean?” Wylan asked Jesper quite confused at his phrasing.
“What like you haven’t ever been chased by dogs in an open field?” Jesper asked in a matter-of-factly manner.
“You could’ve just said she looked like she ran a lot what does being chased by dogs even have anything to do with this?” Wylan asked raising a brow, both of them indulged in petty debate as y/n panted leaning forward on Wylan’s desk for support “Ah don’t go near that!” He exclaimed as he stood up and moves the sizzling portion rack away from her, “Still are you alright? It looks like it was a bad dream…”
“You can talk to us about it if you want to.” Jesper offered her with a comforting smile.
“No-no—I uh-I am fine I just need some air.” Y/n replied out of breath and rushed to leave the lab leaving Jesper and Wylan confused and concerned.
HI HIIIII I turn 16 today
It’s my yearly tradition to post a piece on my bday and I have had the most hectic week ever but I made this possible regardless please let me know what you think <3
Tags: @gwenspter @mori1b2bpad @budugu @duchcess @sloppyzengarden
