incorrigible

“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” 

[alleyspata-deactivated20170924]

i. do not flinch when he reaches out for you. if there is anything in the world he has never wanted to hurt, it’s you. show him you are not afraid of his touch. ii. swallow your fear of blood. it is now a part of him, the blood of others, even his own. do not assume he enjoys it, he has accepted it. you must as well. iii. do not make promises. he won’t believe you. he lives day by day because he has never known the feeling of looking forward to the future. be in the present with him, he will appreciate it more. iv. do not try to change him. he has already done anything possible to change what he is without success. you will only remind him of what he isn’t. you will only remind him of why you deserve someone better than him. v. remember that his edges are rough, he is not used to soft things. he is used to death, blood, and war. forgive him when he bruises you, he doesn’t mean to. forgive him because he knows no different, and know that the last thing he wants is to hurt you. vi. do not expect him to lay his head in your lap and lick his wounds. he is used to doing these things alone, allow him that time. as he begins to trust you he will let you in on this time. it is his most vulnerable state, give him time. vii. cup his face but do not tell him you love him. he will not be able to tell you the same because he does not believe it possible of himself. remind yourself that he views his heart as a shriveled stone incapable of human emotions. you know the truth, you know beneath it all he is beautiful. you know he is capable of love and so much more. cup his face and kiss his forehead. remind him of the soft edges he lost long ago.

how to love a monster. (via alleyspat)

@fiercecomets

(via beautiifuldarkncss)

[gxrardobeltrano]

artemisxtrang:

“Some of it may have been unnecessary but still well deserved. Play with ‘wolves’? That’s what you called that,” she chuckled shaking her head back at him. The memory still made her want to both smile and roll her eyes, as much trouble and chaos that his clan had caused it had been fun. Artemis just looked back at him with a slight frown before shrugging her shoulders, if he didn’t want to tell her she wasn’t going to push it. When he explained the situation, she could have only imagined what else had happened – Gerardo wasn’t one to be giving with details so getting this much out of him was a miracle. “I understand that. I can’t imagine that your lot are used to being tied down to one place for very long. They’ll come around, if they’ve stuck with you this long they won’t let you down now. And if anything, you’re all welcome to come over to New Orleans for a weekend, as long as you don’t make too much trouble.”

“I still think that’s debatable but I understand why your lot would think that why.” Despite the rocky start and teasing the clan had grown to like the New Orleans’ pack and enjoyed the time they had with them. But like everything it came to an end, something Gerardo wonders if they hold against him, considering it was his fault they stole away in the night without a word. “I’m sure I’m just being melodramatic.” He added once again staring at the red liquid in his glass. “But this is truly the first time I’ve felt...” The vampire’s voice cut off with sadness, and it’s usual bitter tinge as he refused to end the sentence. Refused to put the words out there and make them real. “Still” Gerard sighed looking up at Artemis with a half smile “I’ll pass on the invitation, they’ll be very grateful I imagine. Though I can’t promise they’ll be on best behaviour.”

[lifeinpoetry]

I’ve polished this anger and now it’s a knife.

Cathy Linh Che, from “Go Forget Your Father,” published in Poetry (via lifeinpoetry)

[derekheale]

Visit Original Link

I’ll be good, I’ll be good for all of the times I never could.

[gxrardobeltrano]

artemisxtrang:

“They did not like to bark for no reason besides it’s not like your clan are really any better.” Scoffing out a laugh, she shook her head and blew the steam away from her cup before taking a hesitant sip. The comment may have been teasing but she was trying to steer the conversation away from anything that could bring back the tension into their conversation. Frowning at his choice of words, she placed her mug back on the counter and folded her arms over her chest. “What do you mean ‘if’?” Artemis asked, “What’s happened?”

“Pretty sure some of it was unnecessary. Ironically that is well behaved for them, well some of them. It’s not often they get to play with ‘wolves.” He smiled reminiscing their reactions throughout the period, the tormenting they had immediately started planning for the wolves. “Oh, I’m just being dramatic.” Gerard replied a hand waving off her concern. “They’re restless. I don’t blame them. Restless, and tired. It’s strange for me to be away from them for long periods of time, for them and myself. But needs must.” The vampire regretted bringing up the conversation and if it had been anyone else Gerardo had no doubt he would have told them to mind their business or something to that effect. Artemis was the exception to too many of his rules. 

[gxrardobeltrano]

alice-whelan:

Alice raised her eyebrows at his words, not believing what she was hearing, who the hell did this guy think he was? Not putting away the knife but also not necessarily moving it either, she spoke up despite it probably not being the best idea she ever had, ‘‘Well I don’t know, maybe you are?! Are you serious…you know there’s such a thing as being human, I got distracted and didn’t hear you come in, you freaked me out!’‘

“You mundanes are so easily startled, it’s ridiculous. If I wanted to sneak up on you, you would only know it when I allowed you to.” He sighed with disgust, sick of the human already. Gerard had forgotten how jumpy they could be, especially when unused to the Shadow world.  “I haven’t been human for a few years, sweetheart.” The vampire sarcastically added. 

[gxrardobeltrano]

caiusfaust:

Caius nodded, and abruptly the noises of the hellhounds ceased, before becoming more blood curdling than before. The warlock opened the door to reveal the beasts transfixed by a glowing symbol above them, apparently howling in pain. Looking at them for just a moment, Caius spoke a single word in a demonic language, and suddenly, the demons seemed to blink out of existence.

Gerard watched Caius work with interest, it was rare that he would watch a warlock weave magic especially against demons and he always found it intriguing. Still a part of him couldn’t help but feel disappointed when the hellhounds were so easily dealt with, it’s been a while since he had a fought without repercussions but their job for the Nephilim was done so he couldn’t complain. “Well that was hard work.” He drawled sarcastically. 

[gxrardobeltrano]

Gerardo Beltrano // Moodboard (1/?)

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.“

[gxrardobeltrano]

catalinadevalencia:

“Yes, very. There are a few stragglers, but nothing too troublesome and it’s a given with a clan this size,” she shrugged. “And yours? Are they appreciating the change in scenery?”

“As to be expected. My clan are fine, dealing. They like New York just fine but this is quite a new experience for all of us.”

[gxrardobeltrano]

caiusfaust:

As they neared the barn, Caius began to hear the howls and yelps of the demons. “Shall I just finish them off, or would you like a whack at them?” 

“After you.” Gerardo could have taken on the hounds but he was more interested in seeing how the warlock worked, it wasn’t often he got an opportunity to. 

[gxrardobeltrano]

artemisxtrang:

Artemis smiled back at him when he agreed and she lifted her cup up to her lips, blowing on the steam before finally taking a small sip. This was strangely nice, knowing that they could talk to each other without so many feelings getting in the way. She had to wonder how long they were going to be able to pull this off, knowing them she wasn’t sure whether this really was going to last long at all. “I can’t say that I am going to apologise for you being barked at. At the time I think you deserved it,” she chuckled before looking at him in surprise, “Rome? That should be nice for you and your clan, when this is all over.”

“I was nicer to your pack then others, your lot just liked to bark for no good reason.” Now Gerardo knew that wasn’t entirely true but he and his clan had been softer on the New Orleans pack than they were usually were. Reasons for which weren’t something the vampire would want to discuss.  “Nice yes, if they still want to come with me.” Gerard admitted a bitterness in his tone as he thought of his clan and their current attitude. He knew it was more restlessness than anything else but still it irked him, and if he were truly honest it worried him. 

[gxrardobeltrano]

constanceburnett:

connie snorted as he asked for her name, now that was a surprise turn in attitude was it not, but she doubt it. “ constance. but conni works too. ” the blonde told him with a smile on her features and hands in the pockets of her blue cardigan she wore. “ yours? ” she questioned in return. “ that’s all i want to know, I’ll go as soon as i know. ” that everlasting smile not leaving.

“Stupid name.” Gerardo commented as he drank some wine, he never understood or liked the trend of naming a child after a characteristic. Still it gave him a small insight to the vampire which was always helpful when you’re trying to learn things about someone. “Gerard. Your accent is familiar.”

[gxrardobeltrano]

alice-whelan:

At his answer, Alice couldn’t help but want to keep the knife right where it was. Words being safer at first, in her experience, rather than violence, to gain information or reassurance of any kind, she decided to speak up. ‘’I’m not the one sneaking up on people.’’

Gerard noticed the knife hadn’t moved which he couldn’t really say surprised him but that didn’t mean he wasn’t keeping an eye on it making sure it didn’t head his way. “Sneak up on people? Who the fuck is sneaking? Next time I’ll make sure there’s a fanfare to answer my fucking arrival to the kitchen.” 

[gxrardobeltrano]

caiusfaust:

“No, it isn’t. Any half-decent Nephilim could solve this.” Caius gestured to a handful of dilapidated farm buildings a short distance away. “There.”

“You can say that again. Still the shorter this takes the quicker we can get back.” Gerard walking off in the direction the warlock had pointed in. 

[gxrardobeltrano]

artemisxtrang:

She dropped her gaze to the counter as she continued to stir her tea, quite content to ignore the fact that he was actually talking to her. Artemis knew that this was a big step for the two of them, they weren’t naturally forgiving or level-headed of people. “So, no bad feelings between us? We can put it behind us and at least, act civil?” At his question, she couldn’t help but let out a scoff of amusement, so this was their attempt at small talk. “Alright, I guess. It’s just another big city, doesn’t have the charm of New Orleans though and you know I never thought I’d say it but I’m starting to miss being barked at twenty-four hours a day. What about you?”

Though the conversation between had barely started Gerard couldn’t help finding it... nice. Nice just to talk with no careful choice of words and assessment of the words used. Nice to speak because they wanted to, not because they felt the need or wanted information. “For now I suppose.” It was a feeble commitment but the vampire had no doubt that the topic would worm it’s way back again. “Well I don’t miss being barked at either. New York is fine. It’s never really been one of my favourite cities but it will do for now. I’ve been thinking when all this is over I.. I might go to Rome for a while.” 

[gxrardobeltrano]

passion fruit / peach / pomegranate

send me a fruit

Passion fruit: My style? As in my fashion sense? In that case minimalist with leather jackets.

Peach: Yes, I have 3 tattoos but no piercings. 

Pomegranate: Answered this one already. 

[gxrardobeltrano]

Papaya

send me a fruit

Papaya: Hm. Perhaps Vampire Smile by Kyla La Grange or Let’s Kill Tonight by Panic! At the Disco.