“Delirious, Delirious, Delirious! If we get out of here alive, will you kiss me?”
Evan said it without thinking, but once he said it he felt like his heart was going to rip out of his chest. Crap, he said it. He actually said it.
“What?!” He heard Ohm’s exclamation and Jonathan stumbling over his words as he asked the same thing. Of all the times for him to screw up it had to be now, in the middle of a recording session.
He stayed silent, not responding at first and prayed that the guys wouldn’t think anything of it, that they would think he was just joking. The rest of the session went by moderately normal but his heartbeat was still loud in his ears for several minutes after.
After they finished up everyone chatted back and forth for a few minutes, joking around and discussing what they were probably going to play next and whether or not they should do it together. After a while it was only Evan and Jonathan in the voice chat and an awkward silence fell between them.
“Well,” Evan cleared his throat and tried to ignore how his heart was speeding up again and his palms were getting sweaty. “I guess I’ll talk to you later?”
Evan held his breath, waiting for the confirmation. Except it didn’t come.
Evan’s breathe left him in a rush, his gasp obvious in the mic.
“W-what?” Evan winced as he stumbled over his words.
Jonathan laughed, almost awkwardly, and stumbled over his own words a little.
“D… Do you really want me to kiss you?”
Evan sat there for a few seconds, mouth open as he tried to form an excuse in his mind. Knowing he was taking too long to respond but, this was when Jonathan would leave, when the person he cared for the most would want nothing to do with him anymore. He wished-
“I- I mean, I wouldn’t mind. Fuck, no, I mean… Uh… Shit. If you were just playing around I’m sorry, ignore me I didn’t mean-”
“No, no wait! You wouldn’t mind?”
If Evan thought his heart had been loud now it was almost all he could hear, breath shaky and body tense. He had never felt so edge in his life but instead of feeling nothing but dread he felt a spark of hope.
“No I wouldn’t. Fuck, Evan, I wouldn’t mind kissing you.”
Delirious replied, a shaky laugh filling Evan’s room, and his heart.
Evan licked his dry lips, warmth blooming in his chest as he realized what was happening.
“I was serious. I really like you, Jonathan.”
The noise Jonathan made almost startled Evan, it was a happy noise, but it sounded almost like he was trying not to cry too.
“Man, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear those words. I like you too, Evan.”
Evan smiled, laughing and rubbing his slightly wet eyes.
Sure, he wasn’t getting his kiss tonight. But he got something just as amazing and for the first time in a while he felt completely happy and whole.