regret in a more physical form

statement begins 👁️📼 amaze! amaze! amaze!

[h3l1x-isl0st]

intro ☆

hola, i’m soda/helix

he/him only

aro, not ace

uhh i enjoy talking about my interests :)

speaking of my interests -

music, painting, art in general, the unknown/paranormal, paradoxes, film/photography, tarot/spirituality (if u don’t believe in it that’s chill)

fandoms -

the magnus archives, the outsiders (book, movie, and musical), a series of unfortunate events, dead poets society, welcome to nightvale, newsies, project hail mary, the black phone, undertale/deltarune, the goldfinch, hadestown, next to normal

music i like because that’s essentially an entire separate fandom-

pierce the veil, boygenius, conan gray, five seconds of summer, ethel cain, the cure, radiohead, wallows, tyler chase, the 1975, bleachers

❌DNI ❌

18+/NSFW blogs (i am a minor), blogs abt EDs/SH/abuse/etc., homophobes/transphobes (if you wanna talk shit about transfems get out), racist people, any bigots, misogynists, aphobes/arophobes

also please do not flirt with me in any way other than platonic, i have a boyfriend irl

general!-

i hate generative AI.

i don’t care if you present as your desired gender or not, i will respect your identity. if you don’t like that you don’t have to stay.

[h3l1x-isl0st]

GUYS NEVERMIND WE’RE DATING NOW

[h3l1x-isl0st]

haha lol turns out i’m on the aromantic spectrum

[h3l1x-isl0st]

GUYS NEVERMIND WE’RE DATING NOW

[h3l1x-isl0st]

i just posted but he keeps messaging me and talking about being lonely and i want to tell him that he doesn’t have to be lonely but idek if he likes me that way so i’m scared

[h3l1x-isl0st]

what does one do if they have a crush on a guy

[h3l1x-isl0st]

the breakfast place i’m at just played anticurse by boygenius and i got unreasonably excited

[h3l1x-isl0st]

lying in bed on a hot, sticky summer day with the window as wide open as it can be and a shitty box fan whirring away in the corner. it’s not doing much to cool the room off, but its rumbling is comforting.

the boy sprawled out next to you isn’t quite asleep, drowsy from the heat and the sun beating down through the window screen. it’s too hot to be touching the way you are, too humid for him to be resting his head on your hip and spreading his arms over your legs and the edge of the bed.

he looks holy, a ring of sunlight shining his hair golden in a shitty imitation of a halo. there’s nothing religious about this scene, this snapshot of a hot summer day, but something about it is sacred nontheless.

[h3l1x-isl0st]

gamers it’s not hot anymore but unfortunately that means that it’s cold

[h3l1x-isl0st]

he yee on my haw till i fall off my horse

[h3l1x-isl0st]

man i haven’t posted in a hot minute, school’s kickin my ass

still yearning though, never fear.

[h3l1x-isl0st]

back on my homosexual shit again

[h3l1x-isl0st]

GYESS WHO GOT CONAN GRAY TICKETS

[cassie-elaine]

"You're going to regret that when you're older"

okay, but isn't that the point? Isn't that what makes a teenager? Having to deal with this constant pressure of approaching adulthood so much so you can't handle everything, you dont have it all under control, you're inexperienced, you're reckless. You feel more alive in making those regrets because thats exactly what society tells us not to do. There's nowhere to go, the world seems gray, our lives are short and everything could stop tomorrow. In my eyes reckless adolescence is the exact antithesis to this bleak realization. You can't keep the lid on a boiling pot forever. And if I make a few stupid mistakes that I will remember for the rest of my life as the time when I was the freest ive ever felt than those are regrets I will carry like a badge of honor.

I want to kiss people and trip and fall and sneak out to stargaze and feel the cool air on my skin and explore the creek and dye my hair and go to the county fair and do harmless pranks and make rude gestures and say bad words and try new foods and paint love letters on my skin and laugh so hard every bone in my body hurts. And I dont want to look perfect or be too clean or be acceptable to grownups. I want to be me. I want the metamorphosis that comes with being an almost adult. I want to be understood as a reckless teenager. I want to have good regrets

[h3l1x-isl0st]

i was thinking about the trend where two people (couple or best friends who knows) would dance under a street light in the snow with snowman by sia playing in the background and i just think that is my specific brand of yearning

[h3l1x-isl0st]

my brother in christ my hair is black and ran slightly blue why are my hands purple

[h3l1x-isl0st]

she magnus on my archive till i hello jon. apologies for the deception but i rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so i thought it best not to announce myself.

[h3l1x-isl0st]

manifesting a boyfriend so hard rn you don’t even know.

this year (school year ig) is gonna be my year and that better include kissing at least one boy. either kissing one boy multiple times or kissing multiple boys. atp i’m not picky.