stfu jon

28, living in the North where it's proper grim. IT but not like super boring? Idk.

[disneykingdom]

[disneygirlwithablog]

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate that Amy Adams had to hold a live fish in her mouth. A LIVE FREAKING FISH

[peasoupprincess-deactivated2020]

Let’s talk about the fact that the receptionist is Jodie Benson, the voice of Ariel.

[fried-bologna-and-grape-koolaide]

Let’s talk about me

[90919293949596979899-deactivate]

Damn, look how ripe these soda’s are. Almost ready for peeling.

[90919293949596979899-deactivate]

oof….

Now this is perfection. nice and juicy 

[oppa-homeless-style]

call that a freshlight

[ramenfuneral]

nothing like deep dicking an ice cold frussy

[verygayandverytired]

learning how to read was the biggest mistake of my life

[longdarktwenties]

Ene Liis Semper ”Oaas”

[beigetype]

this is one of my favourite things on this website

[aklhf939u3-deactivated20150730]

[davvic]

My cat Bishop sits outside my door every morning once she hears the alarm clock go off.

[pandaflavouredcookies]

The morning murps

[breaktotheotherside]

Someone has waited HOURS to tell you all the gossip.

[thegravelbro]

this is like the cat version of the professor clip of him going “hello!” every morning the same way

[hurleyquinnzel]

Me when literally anyone in any situation says “dammit”

[starlightandtears]

Me: dont fuckin boss me around!!!!!

Someone I Find Attractive: *tells me what to do in a semi-stern voice*

Me:

[dick-flavored-jellybean]

[respectfulmemes]

[the-clown-wars]

[kidouyuuto-deactivated20140411]

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

[brigwife-deactivated20240426]

English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple

French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme 

*800 years of war*

[agentverbivore]

Fun fact: There are a lot of rivers in the UK named “avon” because the Romans arrived and asked the Celts what the rivers were called. The Celts answered “avon.” 

“Avon” is just the Celtic word for river.

[thejazzykittykat]

Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”

[xyxul-deactivated20201020]

W H E E Z E

[phantomrose96]

[gutterowl-deactivated20210623]

The three pillars of good storytelling:

1) Resonant characters

2) Strong emotional through-line

3) At least one teenage lesbian becomes God and/or the Devil.

[h4rdc0rejazzh4nds]

So The Craft (1996) then

[professionalbadexample]

[ffferris]

when ppl start adding weird unsolicited comments to ur web content

[h4rdc0rejazzh4nds]

😩🙏🏼🙌🏼👌 FOLLOW FOR INSTANT CUMMIES 👌🙌🏼🙏🏼😩

https://h4rdc0rejazzh4nds.tumblr.com/

[cheese24k]

News Anchor in my area loses it over a Fat Cat that likes to swim.

[missjonesie99]

I don’t know what’s funnier, how she said physical activities or the snort.

[auncyen]

I love how she gradually loses it. She gives it her best try and then you can just hear where her composure starts breaking down.

[tamhonksss]

i always lose it when her voice trips into the fifth dimension as she says physical activities 

[wimberry-deactivated20150825]

dude wait you actually like milk? milk tastes so gross...

whatever man, milk-shame me all u want but my calcium levels are off the fucking charts so call me in 50 years when i’m MegaGrandpa with the strongest & deadliest bones this earth has ever witnessed

[issagif]

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

oh my god i'm cleaning out my desk and i found my first phone

it was a fucking house phone that i was so stoked to have because it was mine that i kept in my own room and i cannot believe technology has progressed at the speed of FUCKING light to the point where this is a hilarious artifact to have had in like 6th grade and now theres kindergarteners with iphones

[princess-peridot]

How did you know if you dialed the right number

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart

[teaboot]

i can’t beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime

[notevensneaky]

Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.

[propitlikeithot]

Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesn’t exist.

[h4rdc0rejazzh4nds]

Another acceptable answer: the numbers are written on the fucking buttons and the order in which they appear never change