Stark Raving Sane

bookworm • nerdfighter • dramaddict • coder • overthinker • barnacle

[troybarns]

relatable

[sugarchains]

ok im gonna eat BUT THIS GIRL ON TWITTER

shes chinese and also like a chinese historian and she watched the live action mulan 

the way she had me crying through this thread because its apparently V bad

like. 

its trying v hard to be historically accurate but theyre using terms/concepts that chinese people would NOT

and the battle scenes are bad please 

remind me to link it later, but oh my god

the pain she was in is like clearly felt through the tweets shes so upset

[sugarchains]

https://twitter.com/XiranJayZhao/status/1302352476465590272?s=19

I’m on mobile so it looks ugly but here!

[sugarchains]

This is the tweet specifically that made me yell

[myjetpack]

for the @guardian review

[neil-gaiman]

I would happily leave this clumsily satirical dystopian fiction and go and live in a Diana Wynne Jones novel.

[tchaikovskaya]

why am i nostalgic for my teenage years bitch i didnt even have fun !!!

[ilovedookie]

Yeah but your back didn’t hurt

[tchaikovskaya]

[systlin]

do you think doomsday preppers are stupid? i feel like they're "preparing" in the most useless way but I can't put my finger on why

It’s because most of them ascribe to the ‘lone wolf fortified castle I Must Survive Alone’ ethos and are prepping to like, shoot anyone who comes near.

Rather than networking with the community to build skills and systems that will allow you to rebuild into a functioning society if Shit Hits The Fan (and forming co-supportive communities is in fact what humans instinctively do.) They pour all their time into their fantasy of being the Last Man Standing In The World, bravely defending his little shithole compound with loads of ammunition.

[systlin]

You forgot smelling like a gym bag left in a locker for six months because they never stockpile soap.

[teaboot]

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

Have you ever read an article about the study that found that teaching the parents to cope with autistic kids yields better results than other therapies? Because this is exactly what they were talking about.

[twinkling--vixen]

this is a fantastic short term solution. but what happens when that child goes out into the real world as an adult and has no verbal communication skills and still doesn’t know how to properly transition between activities? by not teaching them coping mechanisms you put them at a distinct disadvantage compared to the rest of their peers and I don’t think that’s fair.

[teaboot]

Okay, first off, I don’t want you to feel that I skimmed your argument and chose to disagree on principal. I feel that I have read and understood your point of view, and am actively putting thought into composing a thoughtful response that conveys my perspective on the subject.

You have asked me what happens when an autistic child “goes out into the real world as an adult and has no verbal communication skills”.

The thing is, there are many adults who live perfectly well without verbal communication.

There are adults with hearing impairments who can’t verbalize their intentions.

There are adults with anxiety disorders who can’t verbalize their intentions.

There do, in fact, exist autistic adults who can’t verbalize their intentions.

I would not personally agree that forcing a child or adult to talk out loud -when it very obviously causes them stress, or when they are unable to do so- is a coping mechanism.

I would argue that a coping mechanism is something that one does to alleviate their own stress, not the stress of others.

 Just as well there are, right now, at this very second, any number or real-life adult autistic people who actually do, at this minute, have a hard time transitioning between activities. I’m sure you could ask them what that’s like and you’d get a great number of autistic adults who do exist in the real world willing to tell you.

I’d like you to ask yourself, and I sincerely don’t mean to be condescending, a really quick question:

Is the problem Them, or is the problem You?

Furthermore, is there even a problem at all?

What I mean for you to ask, is: Is there a problem, or did you create one by being unwilling to compromise what makes you, personally, comfortable? 

Are they doing something wrong, or are you valuing tradition over someone’s health and wellbeing? 

Which is more valuable to you, in a society?

No child is ready to walk out and live life as an adult in the ‘real world’. That’s why they’re children. Raise them, whoever they are and whatever that means, into an adult who’s confident and kind. Let them speak to people who understand them, not just people who’ve studied them, because there is a difference, and children need more than anything to not feel alone. Everything else is secondary.

[labradorduck]

A point I hear a bunch is “autistic people need to learn how to communicate with everyone else”

A communication problem

Communication problems require (at minimum) two people to happen.

Yes it’s good for autistic folk to understand how non-autistic folk communicate

But it’s just as important for not autistic folk to learn

It’s almost like communication requires both people to work together.

[almostdefinitelydying]

It’s almost as if most of these communication “errors” arise because non autistic people flat out refuse to learn how to communicate with us, whilst demanding we communicate only how they dictate.

A lot of us know how to communicate nt just fine. (And I say just fine, but I mean: while enduring physical pain and stress). But they can’t be assed to use 3 calories to try to understand how -we- communicate. It’s just ableism wrapped in ignorance, wrapped in laziness. 

[musinvenusian]

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 A word

[sonictoaster]

Howl’s Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones

[hadesfridays]

How can someone's writing be so damn charming ✨

[fucknosexistcostumes]

Police making a woman take off her clothing at the beach because she’s wearing too much, 2016

Police measuring a woman’s clothing because she’s wearing too little, 1922

[aeon-shaping-lie-deactivated201]

Wow almost as if the clothes weren’t the problem and men just want to control women

[teaboot]

Actually though I don’t care if a billionaire worked hard or not. Overfishing and overhunting take hard work too, and they’re flat out illegal, why is over-hoarding the limited currency of your country ok

[mango-habanero-autism-deactivat]

White goyishe people keep on bringing up "what if there were still statues of Hitler in Germany" and I have to keep repeating ad nauseum that the companies that still benefitted enormously from their connections and collaborations with the Nazis, such as BMW (Bavarian Motor Works), Hugo Boss, IBM, Bayer, Chase National Bank, Ford, L'Oreal, Porsche, Chanel, Mercedes Benz, Volkswagen, etc, are still around, and were never made to meaningfully account for any of the profits that they acquired directly from collaborating with Nazis and enabling the Holocaust.

These comparisons should invite a deeper consideration for what kinds of tributes and beneficiaries of genocide are hiding in plain sight. And stop playing a game of thinking Shoah is treated with kid gloves, instead of cynically used to promote propaganda of American exceptionalism and heroism that doesn't actually translate to justice for survivors and their descendants.

[hadesfridays]

That feeling when you ship the Wife of Bath and the Clerk because they both hate on each other but would also have really meaningful discussions about life because they're both really smart and you've been writing your paper for too long.

[vintagegeekculture]

In first edition Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, the Raise Dead spell was stated explicitly to not work on Elves and Half-Orcs for a…theologically fascinating reason: members of those two races did not have souls. A Wish spell would have to be used to raise them instead.

[thesnadger]

#wHAT!??!?#what the?!#what do they HAVE then????

@scribefindegil

Humans: Soul

Elves: Pizazz

Half-Orcs: Chutzpah

Dwarves: A Certain Je Ne Sais Quois

[wordsnquotes]

Beauty is, in some way, boring. Even if its concept changes through the ages… a beautiful object must always follow certain rules. A beautiful nose shouldn’t be longer than that or shorter than that, on the contrary, an ugly nose can be as long as the one of Pinocchio, or as big as the trunk of an elephant, or like the beak of an eagle, and so ugliness is unpredictable, and offers an infinite range of possibility. Beauty is finite, ugliness is infinite like God.

Umberto Eco, On The History Of Ugliness (via nenafichu)

[phantomrose96]

some post: hey this anime series is good but sometimes it treats its female characters rather unfairly. heres a small explanation of the times when the women are underdeveloped, underrepresented, or reduced to jokes about their sexual appeal.

some reply: oh-ho, you say this now OP, but wait until the One Arc where there’s One Female Villain who’s competent :^), you’ll be eating your words. also you forget, the girl has to be sexy because her power, Big Sexy Power, makes her more powerful the more sexy she is :^) yes the male author definitely had to make it that way. it makes a lot of sense. also yes the female characters are forced to constantly flaunt their bodies in front of the public but remember? this one male character does not wear a shirt? sexism where? :^^)

[phantomrose96]

[ithelpstodream]

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

one thing me n my art loving gf would do is visit galleries and play a game called “root, loot or boot” 

the gist is that you would look at a group of paintings in a room and decide which figure in the painting you’d root (fuck, in Australian slang), which painting you’d loot (steal and put on your wall at home) and which painting you’d boot (punt into the garbage because it’s shit and Not Art)

a couple of things about my experiences:

1. this game is a lot more fun if you’re attracted to women because there’s so many Hot Gals to choose from 

2. if you are attracted to men, you will spend a lot of time going “well, looks like I’ll have to pick jesus again” as my bi gf did

3. it gets more complicated in modern art museums and you find yourself having saying, “I’d fuck the rhombus” “you CAN’T fuck the rhombus” “then I’ll fuck that blue squiggle thing. what’s it called?” “creeping existential dread in blue” “then does that mean I’m fucking the squiggle or am I getting fucked by the existential dread it represents?” “aren’t we all already getting fucked by existential dread?”

4. if you play this with an art history nerd, they may decide to kill you over one of your “boot” choices

5. you will get Disapproving Looks from other patrons who overhear your heated debates

6. it’s also the best fun you’ll ever have in an art gallery