don't hug me i'm scared

The tale of Presidents' Day at the ass-eating store

[pjackk]

For real my friend Tyler trying to get his mouth fucked tonight hmu if U intrested hes 29 and not very handsome at all and he gives bad head

[pjackk]

Hws high key ugly as fuck and needs his throat busted in urgenlty

[aquariumpacific]

Who are generally more well-behaved? Seals or sea lions?

This might help put things into perspective. 😅

But in all honesty, our animals are amazing! Each individual has unique challenges and strengths, but they are all good pinns.

[xquisitedeadguy]

used the bathroom the other day during play intermission but the line was blocking the hand dryers so i just left w my wet wet hands and as i returned to my seat an old man dropped his cane into the aisle and i bent down to grab it and got my wet wet hands all over the cane and i handed his wet wet cane back to him and i said its wet

[carnival-phantasm]

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

[carnival-phantasm]

X

[we-are-ninja]

@theoutcastrogue

[chibikuroneko13]

cant believe you didnt include the full sentence

[foone]

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

[literalchemy-deactivated2025052]

yesterday my dad and i were stuck indoors because of the weather and i said “we’re homestuck” and he looked at me, like he knew this was some meme shit, he knew the score, but he couldn’t place it. he just kept looking at me suspiciously, knowingly, warily. then he carefully said, “yes.”

[quadriceps-deactivated20171230]

hey

[rcktpwr]

not in the mood today quincy

[c3po]

seriously.. read the mood quincy

[quadriceps-deactivated20171230]

sorry guys

[52stations]

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

[64mpg]

me: 🧍🏽‍♂️

my nervous system: we are going to get in so much trouble seriously

[ethernalium]

Resident Evil 4 (2023)

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[chronomally]

Jesus Christ what do you mean there's another kid

[chronomally]

"Here's a picture of your dead younger brother you didn't even know about. Okay, bye"

[chronomally]

Jesus Christ what do you mean there's another kid

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[chronomally]

Okay so like in real life I wouldn't dare to have an opinion on this but I think it's a really bizarre narrative decision to have Deok-mi's mom be willing to be anyone and everyone's adopted mom EXCEPT baby Ryan Gold who was (assumed) abandoned at the playground like hello? You're telling me anyone, including adult Ryan Gold, can just wander into her house and have a plate and a seat at the table but this seven year-old goes straight to the orphanage?

[chronomally]

She literally went to the hospital to give birth to her daughter and came home with a son some lady dumped on her but this child who has already been abandoned had better not darken her fucking door or else

[chronomally]

Okay so like in real life I wouldn't dare to have an opinion on this but I think it's a really bizarre narrative decision to have Deok-mi's mom be willing to be anyone and everyone's adopted mom EXCEPT baby Ryan Gold who was (assumed) abandoned at the playground like hello? You're telling me anyone, including adult Ryan Gold, can just wander into her house and have a plate and a seat at the table but this seven year-old goes straight to the orphanage?

[jellytheteawolf]

[iamnotlanuk]

I think they should make the boner pills in pink instead of blue just to see if cishet men can handle it