[jellybeanmusings]

The sight of Jim—slightly flustered from stifling a chuckle—sends a fizzing warmth up Pam’s neck, pooling in her cheeks. The white envelope seems to taunt him from between her delicate fingers, but she’s not sure who’s more affected by its presence: him . . . or her, for getting to watch his reaction.

She bites the inside of her cheek, willing away the telltale blush. Her eyes dart to the stereo in front of them, as if its knobs and buttons might offer some kind of escape from the way Jim is looking at her.

Maybe, just maybe, Jim will be too focused on fumbling with the cassette tape to notice the way her pupils dilate or the way she’s probably grinning like an idiot. But no, she should’ve known better. The moment his lips twitch into that signature smirk, her stomach flips. He’s definitely going to tease her about stealing the stereo.

She clears her throat and sets the envelope on the table in front of them. She perches her elbows on said table and looks at him with a grin: “Well . . . I wouldn’t call it stealing, necessarily. It’s more like borrowing. Duh, Jim.” She rolls her eyes, but her smile lingers for a second too long. “I think everyone here’s so busy buying Dwight’s contraband dolls that they didn’t notice your crime.”

She pops open the grape soda he bought her, takes a sip of the sugary drink, and raises a questioning brow at him.

“Well, are you gonna play me my present, or do I have to do it myself? Let’s have a little office concert.”

[haelpert]

maybe  if  he'd  been  successful  in  taking  back  that  white  envelope  with  her  name  written  on  it  he  could  have  ignored  the  topic  of  dwight  and  his  latest  antics.  instead,  jim  uses  the  opportunity,  and  topic,  to  try  to  buy  himself  a  bit  more  time.  

"i  have. . .  so  many  questions  about  that  but  they  basically  boil  down  to:  what  is  up  with  that?  and,  do  you  think  i  should  invest  in  one  of  those  dolls?"  his  face  contorting  in  intrigue  and  indecision.  

of  course  his  plan  doesn't  work  as  intended.  which  he  knew  it  wouldn't.  he  knew  pam  would  see  right  through  it.  and  he  couldn't  blame  her,  if  their  roles  were  switched,  if  he'd  been  the  one  waiting  to  figure  out  why  she'd  wanted  to  keep  that  card  from  him  so  bad  he  wouldn't  have  fallen  for  it  either.  no  amount  of  dwight  shenanigans  could  have  kept  him  from  that  card.  

another  smile  creeps  onto  his  expression  as  he  watches  pam  take  a  sip  of  her  soda.  then  his  eyebrows  playfully  pinch  together.  

"whoa,  concert?  i  hope  you  don't  expect  me  to  sing  along  with  this."  he  shakes  the  tape  before  putting  it  into  the  stereo.  his  finger  moving  to  hover  over  the  play  button.  "me  singing  was  definitely  not  included  in  your  present,  we  are  definitely  not  at  that  stage  in  our  friendship."  a  grin  flashes  in  her  direction  before  he  finally  presses  down  and  music  begins  to  fill  the  space  around  them.  "besides,  if  you're  focused  on  my  terrible  voice  you  won't  be  listening  to  the  songs  and  they  pretty  much  speak  for  themselves." 

his  smile  falters  just  slightly,  a  fresh  batch  of  nerves  flutter  in  his  stomach.  with  all  the  focus  he'd  been  giving  the  card,  he  hadn't  stopped  to  consider  the  mixtape  until  now.  the  card  was  his  feelings  in  his  words,  but  the  mixtape—  that  was  his  feelings  in  someone  else's  words.  and either  way,  how  he  felt  about  pam  was  about  to  be  exposed.  

[jellybeanmusings]

Shit, shit, shit.

He answered. What else was Pam expecting? A voicemail, for one. Would she have left a message? Probably not. Either way, she’s trapped: stay on the phone and risk making a fool of herself, or hang up and drown in shame.

But his voice stills her. It’s been too long, and just the sound of it sends warmth curling through her—something she hasn’t felt in far too long. His voice alone seems to calm the nerves that swept across her body upon dialing his number.

“Huh?” She glances at the clock and sees that it's almost eleven. How many glasses of wine had she downed? She puts her hand on her face in embarrassment and shakes her head.

“Oh—sorry. Are you busy? I can call you back…” She winces at the slight slur in her own voice. 

“Or if you don’t wanna talk, that’s okay too. I just—-”

[haelpert]

didn't  want  to  talk  to  her?  ridiculous.  finally  hearing  her  voice  cemented  just  how  much  he  missed  hearing  it  every  day,  talking  to  her  every  day.  of  course,  moving  hundreds  of  miles  away  and  not  even  having  the  courtesy  to  tell  her  about  his  move  kind  of  would  give  off  the  idea  that  he  didn't  want  to  hear  from  her.  but  that  had  been  an  unintended  consequence.  

jim  can't  help  the  little  chuckle  that  bubbles  from  him.  both  at  the  the  sheer  ridiculous  of  not  wanting  to  talk  to  her  and  at  the  idea  that  he'd  be  busy  at  eleven  o'clock  at  night.  

even  in  his  dark  room,  all  these  miles  away  jim  can  picture  in  his  mind  so  clearly  the  way  pam's  nose  crinkles  just  slightly  when  she  realizes  the  time.  the  way  her  cheeks  tint  pink  with  embarrassment  and  she  bites  the  corner  of  her  lip  waiting  for  his  response.  his  heart  clenching  at  the  image.  

jim  then  lets  a  out  a  frustrated  groan.  "ugh,  i  would  really  love  to  chat  but,  you  caught  me  at  the  WORST  time.  i'm  just  heading  into  a  meet—  you  know,  i'm  late  actually.  this  is  gonna  look  really  bad,  cause  i'm  the  new  guy—"  a  beat  passes  before  he  continues.  "oh,  and  the  meeting  was  just  cancelled.  what's  up?"  

despite  her  inability  to  see  it,  a  brilliant  smile  lights  up  his  face. and he wonders if there's one on hers too.

[jellybeanmusings]

Late-night call

It’s been at least eight minutes of staring at the phone screen, clicking the ‘up’ arrow to keep it from going black.

Pam sits on the edge of her secondhand loveseat in the living room, unmoving except for the rise and fall of her silent breaths. Her flip phone is open in her hand, contact list displayed on the screen.

Jim Halpert in pixelated font taunts her.

She swallows hard, her throat suddenly dry with nerves.

It’s been a long time coming—finally picking up the phone to call Jim. She wonders if he’s still in Australia, probably to avoid her wedding. Did he meet someone there? Did he even end up going? What if he moved there?

Pam would know, had she mustered the courage to update him on what happened since they last spoke. Or, rather, what didn’t happen.

She’s not sure whether he’d even want to speak with her, but the voice inside her head—now that she’s all alone—won’t subside. She no longer has the excuse of talking to Roy to quiet her thoughts, or of watching a football game with him to tune out the memories of her first kiss with Jim.

Without those distractions, she’s consumed by thoughts of Jim, by memories of him. She knows that if she doesn’t break this silence, she may never have the chance to see him again—or to tell him how she feels. He doesn’t deserve that, she thinks.

In a moment of panic, she forcefully presses the green phone icon and hears the ringback tone. She thinks she might’ve made a huge mistake and almost presses the red phone icon to end the call—until she hears the line pick up.

She manages a weak, “Um—hey?”

@haelpert

[haelpert]

it  may  not  have  been  australia  but  stamford,  connecticut  felt  far  enough  away  from  scranton,  pennsylvania  to  satisfy  that  need  to  run  that  jim  had  felt.  

or,  at  least  that's  what  he  had  been  trying  to  convince  himself  since  he'd  packed  up  and  left  his  old  life  and  memories  hundreds  of  miles  behind.  with  the  move  came  freedom  from  the  craziness  and  stress  of  the  scranton  office—  of  michael's  antics  and  dwight's  ridiculousness . . .  and  pam.  

just  like  that,  the  reason  he'd  left  in  the  first  place,  the  one  person  he'd  been  trying  the  hardest  to  keep  from  his  thoughts  occupied  them  once  again.  despite  the  hard  fought  effort  to  fight  them  off,  jim's  mind  conjured  the  questions  he'd  been  attempting  not  to  think  about—  how  did  the  wedding  go?  was  she  enjoying  married  life?  did  she  miss  him?  what  was  she  doing  right  now?  

a  grimace  twists  jim's  expression,  his  mind  imagining  the  answer  to  the  last  question  without  permission.  that  was  the  last  thing  he  needed  on  his  mind  as  he  was  attempting  to  find  sleep.  another  futile  effort  on  his  part.  he  twists  and  turns  on  the  new  yet  somehow  lumpy  mattress  beneath  him,  forcing  those  thoughts  of  pam  and  roy  from  his  thoughts.  

sleep  seems  impossible  now.  jim  sits  up,  leaning  back  against  his  headboard  and  stares  up  at  the  ceiling.  a  heavy  sigh  escapes  him  just  as  the  otherwise  quiet  is  interrupted  by  the  sound  of  his  phone.  instinct  takes  over  and  he  automatically  reaches  out  for  it,  though  the  question  of  who  could  be  calling  at  this  hour  does  cross  his  mind.  

the  answer  to  which  appears  in  pixels  across  the  front  of  his  closed  flip  phone.  beesly. 

his  heart  nearly  stops  at  the  sight.  brows  furrow,  confusion  washing  over  him.  why  would  pam  be  calling  him?  what  could  she  want  at  this  time  of  night?  it  had  to  be  a  mistake,  right?  her  finger  slipped  or  she  somehow  misdialed?  

he  knows  he  shouldn't  answer.  he  knows  it  would  be  counterproductive,  yet  another  part  of  him  begs  to  answer.  to  hear  her  voice  even  if  it's  only  in  the  form  of  a  hasty  apology  for  mistakenly  disturbing  him.  

"hey. . .?"  he  answers,  bewilderment  evident  in  his  voice.  there's  a  moment  of  quiet  before  he  snaps  out  of  the  daze  he  found  himself  in  and  manages  a  more  collected  and  more  lighthearted  composure.

"do  you  know  what  time  it  is?"  

[jellybeanmusings]

Pam feels so thankful when she walks away from Jim and towards accounting, because her cheeks were just beginning to flush, and she can’t risk melting in front of him (as much as she may want to). She’s about one-hundred percent sure that her cheeks are turning as red as her Christmas-red turtleneck.

She takes a quick breath and finds herself next to Angela, who seems to be in her usual perturbed state. Pam awkwardly holds a red plastic cup filled with water with both of her hands and looks around before offering a meek smile to Angela.

“Hey, Angela, you did a great job on the party,” she offers, her voice lined with apology. She still feels bad for having competed with Angela earlier in the evening by trying to host a margarita-themed party.

“Well, you were no help at all,” Angela says matter-of-factly. Pam contorts her mouth into timid frown, but once she sees Jim walk away into the break room, she tells Angela that she needs to get some more water. Angela furrows her brows in suspicion and lets Pam go without another word. Finally, finally, she joins Jim and sees him already all set up: the stereo on the table and two cans of grape soda. She can’t help the smile that spreads across her face. It causes something inside her to stir. Why is Jim making her feel this way? Why doesn’t Roy notice that she likes grape soda? That she still wants mix tapes, too? Pushing those thoughts aside, she takes a seat next to Jim and shakes her head in disbelief. “Wow, Jim… I can’t believe you’re doing this great of a job . . . distracting me from reading that letter,” she smirks.

[haelpert]

an  easy  smile  breaks  out  almost  instantly  across  jim's  expression.  a  typical,  and  now  innate,  reaction  to  this  kind  of  teasing  from  pam.  or  really,  just  being  in  the  same  room  as  pam.  

from  the  moment  she  showed  him  to  his  desk  on  his  first  day  at  dunder  mifflin  he  knew  there  was  something  special  about  her,  something  that  could  brighten  even  his  worst  mood  and  bring  a  smile  to  his  face.  after  that  moment  it  hadn't  taken  long  for  her  to  become  the  reason  he  showed  up  every  morning.  of  course  there  was  the  paycheck  too,  but  he  could  find  another  place  to  work  if  it  were  only  about  that.  there  were  surely  other  jobs  at  other,  less  unhinged,  offices,  but  there  would  undoubtedly  never  be  another  pam  at  any  of  those  other  jobs.  

a  light  chuckle  then  inadvertently  slips  from  him.  he  couldn't  help  it  but  he  was  quick  to  catch  himself,  recovering  with  a  look  of  feigned  puzzlement  etching  into  his  brow.  "surely  i  have  no  idea  what  you  mean,  beesly."  he  pauses  for  a  beat  trying  to  fight  back  the  grin  that  threatens  to  destroy  his  whole  facade  at  the  moment.  "correct  me  if  i'm  wrong,  but  wasn't  it  you  who  came  up  with  the  whole  stealing  the  stereo  plan?  and  didn't  i  do  exactly  that?"  another  beat  and  the  grin  he'd  been  repressing  finally  makes  an  appearance  as  he  places  the  cassette  tape  onto  the  table  in  front  of  her.  

"do  you  think  anyone  caught  my  thievery?"  he  then  questions  popping  open  his  can  of  grape  soda  before  taking  a  sip. 

[jellybeanmusings]

Going on a secret mission with Jim to get a hold of the office stereo is almost better than his original Christmas present. That, and the fact that his goofy grin is, as usual, directed towards her. It makes her stomach practically do a back flip with how many butterflies it has trapped inside.

“Okay,” she whispers conspiratorially, leaning in even closer to Jim. “I can distract Angela, who’s right next to it. See?” she lifts her head and her gaze towards her blonde coworker. “Then you come up after a few seconds and silently grab it while we talk. But…how we both escape the party, that’s on you, Halpert. The only thing I know is that we can’t do it together, or else it’ll be too obvious.”

She arches her brow in a ‘does-that-work-for-you’ kind of way and slowly stands. She brushes the front of her skirt with her hands and takes a deep breath, as though she’s about to do some momentous task. (In a way, she is — being able to sneak out with Jim and listen to a cassette he made for her is kind of a big deal. She’s trying very hard to not make it seem like that, though.)

[haelpert]

instinct  immediately  draws  jim  closer  to  pam  as  she  begins  to  detail  the  basics  of  the  plan.  of  course,  he  tries  his  best  to  appear  as  casual  and  inconspicuous  as  always.  but  soon  the  warmth  he  feels  whenever  he's  around  pam  begins  to  spread  and  the  concern  that  soon  visible  evidence  of  which  will  be  flushing  his  cheeks  fills  his  thoughts.  his  head  turns  to  avoid  pam's  gaze  and  to  catch  a  glance  of  angela's  proximity  to  the  stereo,  then  gives  an  affirmative  nod.  

 "all  right,  sounds  good.  but  whatever  i  come  up  with,  you  just  have  to  go  with  it."  a  mischievous  grin  punctuates  his  statement  before  he's  watching  pam  make  her  move  over  to  the  accounting  corner  of  the  bullpen  and  putting  their  plan  into  action.  he  buys  himself  some  time  by  stealing  a  cookie  from  the  tin  sitting  atop  the  reception  desk.  after  taking  a  bite  he  follows  the  same  path  pam  had  taken  and   eases  up  beside  her.  feigning  interest  in  whatever  the  topic  of  conversation  is,  he  pops  the  remainder  of  the  cookie  into  his  mouth  and  moves  to  kick  the  plug  to  the  stereo  from  the  outlet.  with  a  nod  of  his  head  and  a  few  enthusiastic  and  carefully  placed  'yeahs',  jim  snatches  the  machine  from  the  desk  and  begins  to  excuse  himself. 

"well,  this  has  been  great  but  unfortunately i'm  sensing  a  disturbance  in  the  force and according to dwight— "  shoulders  give  a gentle  shrug,  "that's bad news,  so  i'm  gonna  go  try  to  find  out  what's  so  disturbing."  he  flashes  a  smile  to  the  group  before  shooting  pam  a  knowing  look  and  taking  off  toward  the  back  of  the  room.  continuing  to  hide  the  stereo  behind  him,  he  quickly  makes  his  escape  into  the  kitchen  and  continues  until  he  makes  it  to  the  safety  of  the  break  room.  

while  jim  regrets  leaving  pam  out  there  in  the  company  of  their  coworkers,  especially  angela,  he  wants  to  get  everything  set  up  for  their  little  listening  party.  after  setting  up  the  stereo  and  making  sure  it  works  he  purchases  two  cans  of  grape  soda  from  the  vending  machine  and  sets  them  on  the  table  with  the  stereo.  once  satisfied,  he  takes  a  seat  and  pulls  his  cell  phone  from  his  pocket.  a  grin  resting  firmly  in  place  as  he  awaits  the  familiar  voice  to  answer  the  ringing  phone  at  the  reception  desk.  

[jellybeanmusings]

Pam has rarely seen Jim flustered like this; he’s normally the one that makes her blush. Thankfully, she usually has the reception desk to block him from seeing her flushed cheeks when he looks her way, or when her mom embarrasses her by asking “Which one is Jim?,” but that’s neither here nor there. Right now, she has the power and she’s going to make the most of it.

Unable to stop herself from smiling—a malady that she suffers from when near him—she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and gives him a knowing look. “You know, I’m not letting you live this one down,” she asserts, arching a brow and setting down the envelope to focus her attention to his last gift. Because he indeed diverts her attention with the cassette tape. Suddenly, her memory is flooded with images of her and Roy in high school, when he had made her a mixtape and professed his love for her right before summer break. She remembers going to his football games and having butterflies in her stomach when he’d kiss her after practice. What’s unwanted is the parallel that her mind draws up for Jim and his high school photo: she wonders what it might’ve been like to watch his basketball games from the stands, to invite him to her art class, to ask him to be her study buddy, to find any reason to meet with him after school…what it might’ve been like, in another universe.

She’s stumped for words as she takes the mixtape in her hands and delicately flips it around, examining his handwritten Pam on the label and drawing her finger along it. “All right. We’re gonna need a stereo-stealing plan, stat, because I need to know what tracks you picked.”

[haelpert]

of  course  pam  wasn't  about  to  let  him  off  the  hook  that  easily.  he  really  didn't  expect  her  to,  that  wouldn't  have  been  pam—  it  wouldn't  have  been  either  of  them.  their  dynamic  was  more  interesting  than  that,  more  playful  and  fun.  but  at  least  this  will  buy  him  some  time.  time  to  come  to  terms  with  the  fact  that  soon  she  would  know  exactly  how  he  really  felt  about  her.  

there  had  been  some  nerves  about  the  whole  expressing  his  feelings  in  that  card  since  jim  had  first  come  up  with  the  idea.  but  he'd  gotten  it  all  written  up  and  added  it  into  the  gift  without  letting  those  nerves  win  out.  then  michael  and  the  whole  yankee  swap  debacle  happened  and  jim's  nerves  had  become  full-on  apprehension.

watching  pam  so  easily  give  up  the  teapot  that  he  had  gotten  for  her  ( and  knew  she  wanted ),  it  hurt.  it  also  made  him  rethink  letting  pam  read  that  card.  like,  maybe  this  wasn't  the  right  time  to  put  himself  out  there  like  he  was  about  to  do  with  that  card.  maybe  he'd  been  reading  things  wrong  this  whole  time  and  whatever  they  had,  their  friendship  or  more,  didn't  mean  as  much  to  her  as  it  did  to  him.  the  last  thing  he  wanted  right  now  was  for  this  whole  situation  turning  into  him  embarrassing  himself—  that  honor  was  usually  reserved  for  michael  or  dwight,  rightfully.  

a  goofy  grin  finds  its  way  onto  his  lips  and  a  hand  slaps  down  onto  the  surface  of  the  reception  desk.  "that  we  do."  he  agrees  before  leaning  his  forearms  onto  the  desk  in  a  display  of  intense  interest  and  attention.  "so  let's  hear  it,  what've  you  got  so  far?  lets  hear  some  ideas,  beesly."

[jellybeanmusings]

Teapot Musings

Seeing Jim look so happily surprised once Pam reveals that she indeed traded the highly-sought-after iPod for his teapot makes her smile widen even further. As she pulls each individual item out from the teapot—from the hot sauce packet to the copy of Jim’s high school photo—she’s sure to mention each memory that those items hold, and she can’t seem to contain her giddiness.

“Oh my gosh, and you kept the mini golf pencil! Jim, no way,” she remarks, reaching the bottom of the teapot. As she goes to retrieve said pencil, though, Jim reaches over her left shoulder into the box that the teapot came in, retrieving what looks like a white envelope with her name on it.

“Wait,” she gasps incredulously (the gasp being slightly dramatic for effect) and grabs the letter before he can do . . . well, whatever he was planning to do with it.

“This says 'Pam,' Halpert,” she explains as though speaking to a five-year-old kid, pointing to her hand-written name. “Are you trying to take away part of my present?”

She shakes her head and separates the sealing flap of the envelope from the bottom fold, clearly eager, then decides to pause before continuing. Maybe she’s going too far; maybe there’s a reason for which Jim tried to take it away. It wouldn't make any sense, in her mind, but she feels momentarily guilty.

“Um…can I read my card now? Or, do I have to wait?” @haelpert

[haelpert]

there's  an  immense  sense  of  relief  seeing  the  teapot  once  again  in  the  possession  of  its  rightful  owner.  there's  also  a  sense  of  satisfaction  that  comes  with  knowing  dwight  won't  get  to  befoul  it  with  whatever  green  tea  nasal  cleanse  thing  he  was  planning  to  use  it  for.  though  that  was  secondary  and  much  less  important.  at  least  for  the  moment.  

the  delighted  giggles  coming  from  pam  with  the  discovery  of  each  new  bonus  gift  tucked  within  the  green  teapot  are  music  to  jim's  ears.  so  much  more  melodious  and  tolerable  than  the  party  music  coming  from  the  stereo  in  the  accounting  corner  at  the  back  of  the  room.  this  was  exactly  what  he'd  hoped  for  when  he'd  decided  on  filling  the  gift  he'd  known  she  wanted  with  the  trinkets  he'd  held  onto  for  so  long  and  hoped  she'd  appreciate  as  much  as  he  did.  the  delight  obviously  contagious  as  he  can't  fight  the  grin  that  takes  over  his  own  expression.

but  all  that  christmas  cheer  he'd  actually  been  experiencing  suddenly  comes  crashing  around  him.  the  move  was  supposed  go  unnoticed—  but  he's  a  salesman,  not  a  ninja  dammit.  maybe  he  should  have  gotten  dwight  to  snatch  the  card  while  he  distracted  pam?  a  grimace  appearing  at  the  mere  thought.

"okay,  that  is  a  serious  accusation,  beesly."  he's  quick  to  counter  while  flashing  a  wry  smile  despite  that  being  exactly  what  he  was  trying  to  do.  "yeah  no,  i  just. . ."  the  edge  of  panic  setting  in  as  he  searches  for  an  explanation.  and  excuse.  anything  to  get  her  off  the  card  in  her  hand.  

"come on, you didn't even comment on this,"  a  hand  moves  over  the  top  of  the  reception  desk  and  reaches  into  the  teapot  to  retrieve  the  cassette  tape.  "i  know  it's  not  a  fancy  $400  dollar  ipod  but  you're  always  asking  about  my  new  music,  now  you'll  have  it  all  for  yourself  on  this  very  expensive-looking  but  dated  cassette  tape."  a  renewed  smile  flashes  at  pam  as  he  shakes  the  tape  before  her.  "hey,  you  think  we  can  steal  that  stereo  away  from  kevin  so  we  can  listen  to  it  together?  does  that  thing  even  have  a  cassette  player  in  it?"  his  attention  momentarily  drifting  toward  the  accounting  corner. 

[sloanegabe]

All of the times Jim Halpert ignored work to go flirt with the receptionist

The Office (2005 - 2013)