"The Study of You" / Bokuto Kotaro x Reader
Ending up being the person assigned to help the star of the volleyball team better his grades seemed to be a matter of luck, but that's how you ended up sitting right across Bokuto Kotaro. Now, after he had decided you are the sole reason his grades are the best they have ever been, he had kept you around without knowing your heart feels bigger every time he's around. It gets so big at times, that your feelings for him have begun to demand to be released. Maybe... well, maybe it's time you come clean.
Genre: Romance / Pure fluff.
You watched Bokuto as he was carefully reading. The papers on his hands had a clean calligraphy full of colors encircling or underlining certain parts of it as to highlight the most important information. He was so focused in his lecture, he was oblivious of the pair of eyes nestled on him, unable to look any other way.
It was impossible not to look at the last months of your life in review. Without knowing what was truly to come, between study sessions, little talks at the hallways, and volleyball matches, you had put yourself in a complicated situation. It all began when you had accepted to be the tutor of Bokuto Kotaro—volleyball star of the Fukurodani Academy. He had approached you with his notebook hanging casually on his hand as soon as class was done. You had seen Bokuto talking to your professor before class started and had noticed the older man discreetly pointing at you more than once during their brief conversation, causing cold sweats down your neck every single time he did. You had guessed he had pointed Bokuto towards you for a reason, and he hadn’t waited to let you know why he was now standing right before you. Bokuto had gone into a small ramble about how his grades needed to improve if he didn’t want to have trouble with the volleyball team. While this was happening, you remained silent, sitting still in your place. You didn’t have it in you to add to the conversation, and even if you did, you wouldn’t find a space to do so given how fast he was going.
Everyone knew Bokuto was not only the captain of their successful volleyball team, but he was the ACE of said team and one of the best players in the prefecture. For him, the sport wasn’t just a club but his whole career and future after high school. For him, every training and every match was a step towards where he wanted to go in life. You were aware of this information because you had been assisting every Fukurodani match even prior to enlisting as a student. One of your closest friends from middle school happened to have an older brother who attended the academy and happened to be a regular on the volleyball team. Your friend had asked you only once to join her to see her brother play, and from that moment on, you would always tag along with her.
It was around the time you and your friend had joined Fukurodani together that you had learned the name of Bokuto Kotaro and all about his potential and goals. And then it had taken just a week for you to put a face to the name as your teacher role call and he made himself be known in its unique and energetic manner.
You had happened to be in the same class as him through your three years in high school but you had never talked. He was too much of an extrovert for you to date to come close. Even when you sustained a friendship with almost everyone in your class, his fired-up character never made it easy for your shy nature to approach him. Just looking at him made you feel overwhelmed. So, while you might probably be a stranger to him for most of your school years together, you were very aware of who he was.
You weren’t the most brilliant student, but your name was always found among the best grades of your year. With this, you weren’t that surprised to find Bokuto standing in front of your desk with that confident smile of his and unusual yellow eyes glowing at you. You had always found him imposing when he was on the court, and you were realizing having his undivided attention was equally intimidating.
After his small rant about the conundrum he was between his grades and the volleyball team, he had mindlessly grabbed one of the chairs belonging to another classmate, and dragged it so he could sit in front of you. Classes were over and the students were slowly making their way out of the room, leaving the place empty for the two of you. Your hands were clamping on your lap.
“Mister Abe said you have tutored a couple of people and you could help with mine, too,” he continued explaining. You were able to guess where it was going. He wasn’t there to just take pictures of your notes like many would usually do. You indeed had helped a couple of her classmates to better their grades. You could be shy, but you had never said no to lending a helping hand. “So, do you think you can help me for the next exams?”
Your heart was hammering on your chest as a nice smell of soap and something fresh came from him. You have never imagined the day would come where you would need to spend time one-on-one with the captain of the volleyball team.
“Yes, of course. I can help,” you said softly, feeling your cheeks growing warm. His presence was strong and demanded to be felt.
“Hey! Great! Let me get your phone number then.”
That was how it had all started.
The first study sessions were awkward. You didn’t know where to begin and he followed everything you did like a hungry puppy which made you nervous and amused at the same time. As you got used to him, it became strangely satisfactory to have him all for yourself. You had watched and clapped for him many games, so having the roles reverse was feeling a bit too good.
Thankfully, he was a fast learner and as soon as he started to understand, he contributed to the conversation, which helped your shyness to calm down. Inadvertently, you had become comfortable around him. As his back relaxed on his chair and he threw an arm over the rest of his chair, you could tell he felt the same way about you.
The exams came around and so your sessions with him came to an end. Bokuto had stopped by your desk showing you his good grades and thanking you for getting him through. You smiled at him, but your chest had tensed up with what could only be disappointment. You realized then your interest in Bokuto, that little twinge that drew your eyes to him, had evolved into something more—an infatuation.
You could feel the air escaping your lips in a soft sigh every time you caught him in the hallways or entering the classroom. And to worsen your situation, your dynamic with him had changed. You were no longer strangers. At first, he would say hi to you in the hallways—it was a very casual and fleeting gesture that stole your breath away anyway. You didn’t dare to make longer conversation, afraid of being too obvious and afraid of attracting too much attention.
Then, all on its own, the hello’s turned into small chats that would eventually lead to them walking to class together. Bokuto was so incredibly friendly, it was impossible for you not to fall into his spell. On the downside, there was no excuse for you to spend more time with him outside of those short walks to be with him. Like you stated: he was friendly, so if there was something Bokuto had, it was friends all around him at all times. You would need to do something drastic to be able to spend the quality time you desired so much. You just didn’t have it in you, so you just took what you could and remained silent.
Lucky for you, it was only three months later when the midterms rolled around and soon Bokuto was in front of you right after class asking for your help yet again. That time around, you weren’t as nervous as before. You were happy you would go back to spend part of your evenings with him, sitting close together as you went through your notes and that fresh smell that you couldn’t pinpoint but lingered on you for the rest of the day. You missed being under the spotlight of his piercing eyes. And there you were now, completely enthralled in how his brows knit slightly down and his lips puckered as he focused on what was on the paper.
Suddenly, Bokuto slammed the papers on the table. You were violently pulled out of your contemplative state and were forced to look away with your cheeks burning like wildfire. You had been shamelessly staring at him. It was a miracle you hadn’t been caught red-handed.
“I’m ready for tomorrow!” Bokuto claimed as confident as he ever succeeded in being. He turned to you and raised his hands with the thumb up. “That exam is going to be cake on a plate.”
You smiled, face still warm and hands hidden between your legs so as to not show their shakiness. “Yes, it’s going to be really easy.”
He stood up and extended his hand to you—offering it for you to take it. “Let’s get something to eat. It’s on me.”
You oddly looked at him. It was the first time Bokuto had invited you anywhere. You would hang out at school all the time, but after you were done with the studying sessions, he would give a big yawn and then leave home to rest. It had never crossed your mind that you were permitted to be together after school.
“C’mon,” he insisted with his hand still stretched towards you. You grabbed his hand softly—hesitant—and in return, he wrapped your hand strongly, bringing you up to your feet with one pull. You blinked fast, not expecting that at all.
You didn’t know where you were going. You were left to follow Bokuto as he talked and talked, explaining everything about the team they would play against next week at the qualifiers. He turned to you then with that confident smile of his. “You’ll be there, obviously,” he stated.
“I will,” you simply said. You had never been one to talk too much, but that was enough for him to nod satisfied and keep rambling without noticing how hard you were squeezing your hands behind your back.
The next week, you were loyal to your word. You went inside the gymnasium ready to see Fukurodani play, and as soon as you stepped in, you realized how much everything had changed. Before, it was exciting to see the matches for the simple matter that you have gained a liking for the sport through those years accompanying your friend. Now, you personally knew someone in the team, someone you were rooting for. You had seen Bokuto on the court countless times since your first year in high school, but had never really been there because of him—till then. Now he had your undivided attention to him. You were able to pick up on his mood depending on his expressions, a knowledge you had acquired through your study sessions with him. Your entire body had buzzed through the game watching him play. You had been so high on your own emotions, you swore it wasn’t going to be good for your health in the long run.
After Fukurodani closed the match with another win under their belt, you left the bleachers with your limbs tingling and your heart still in your throat for all the cheering you had done. The match was all you and your friends were talking about. Fukurodani was set to play another game that day since they had passed to the next round, and with a little time in your hands, you all decided to look for something to drink since your tire throats really needed it, but before that, one of your friends had exclaimed she needed to use the restrooms before you all headed outside and your other friend had decided to join her. This, leaving you alone in the hall.
As you waited for them, you contemplated texting Bokuto a congratulations for winning their first game of the day. You tapped your foot on the floor, thinking if maybe it was better to use it as an excuse to approach him. Before you could make up your mind, your friends came out from the restroom and you quickly closed your phone and pushed it inside your pocket.
You gave a couple steps towards the exit when your name was called. The three of you turned around, finding Bokuto standing a couple meters from you.
“You’re here!” he said with his hands on his hips, looking nothing else than victorious.
“Hello, Bokuto,” you said, heading to him and doing your best not to stutter. It shouldn’t be permitted for him to walk around still in his volleyball uniform.
“We did great, didn’t we?” he stated more than asking.
Your two friends nodded in silence. You felt like laughing. It was good to know you weren’t the only one getting all shy around the guy.
“Yeah, you were great out there,” you said. It was out of her character for you to be so confident, but somehow the words left your mouth with not much trouble. Maybe it was the need to show off to your friends how close you had become with Bokuto, or maybe it was your reckless heart taking control.
Your statement only caused Bokuto to get even more excited about his win and the next match. Sadly for you, he was taken away then by Akaashi who bowed at the three of you and kept directing Bokuto back to their group. You couldn’t help the sparks popping off under your skin. You could feel it in your chest, around your arms, all over your head. You felt… special. Bokuto had located you among the crowd and had gone straight to you. It had been a fleeting moment, but the intention was there. Intention changed everything, and you wouldn’t deny yourself indulging into the delusion of it.
Yet, this luxury was equally short lived. Your flight among the clouds was ended by the quizzical looks of your friends and all the questions that they threw at you. For the sake of keeping your interest in Bokuto a secret, you had avoided mentioning him to your friends. You had never expected he would approach you so bluntly during the tournament, but now that it had happened, you scolded yourself from not seeing it coming.
You shrugged at your friends, playing the interaction as meaningless–as if it hadn’t been like lightning striking down on you. “Do you remember I was tutoring a guy from my class?” you said to your friends. “Well, it is him.”
Your friends complained to you in unison, exclaiming how tutoring Bokuto was not just ‘a random classmate’ and you were unfair for keeping that little detail out. You did your best to wave them off, insisting that his identity didn’t change anything, even when you knew it did change everything. The guy was pretty popular after all.
That’s when another aspect of your relationship with him changed. Since then, Bokuto would look for you after the matches. Sometimes he would go to where you were. Other times, he would just smile at you from where he was and you would lift both your hands with the thumbs up to let him know he had done great. People always surrounded him, so you preferred to stay back.
You had tricked yourself into believing you were attending all the volleyball games because it was like routine by then, but deep inside you knew it had become exciting to see him play. Your feelings had been promoted from a silly infatuation to something stronger, and there was no use in lying to yourself. It was an inescapable situation. You understood this as his expectant eyes danced around the crowd till they landed on you. To have the attention of someone like him could captivate anyone. Going to the games was your new favorite excuse to have him looking at you.
With the preliminaries done and Fukurodani qualifying to go to nationals, you went back to the study sessions with Bokuto. You were surprised his discipline extended to the academic side as well. His grades had been great since he had bega studying with you, so why stop? It worked and he needed it to keep working. Or se he had said.
That’s why you were now sitting at a diner with your mind a bit fuzzy because of the school day and those extra hours you had stayed with him, and Bokuto across from you. You were up in your head, swimming in your feelings like you tended to do for the past six months. As you two ate dinner at a small, homely cafeteria, you wondered if that was how it felt to go out on a date with him. He was slightly frowning as he stared at his menu trying to decide what he wanted. You felt your stomach clench at the thought. You had been trying to confess to him for the past month and the words had always refused to escape your mouth. And like always, your mouth was feeling dry at the prospect of speaking the truth. You had decided you would do it after dinner. If he rejected you, then you could run away to cry your heart out in peace. You were done studying for the final exams, so your late hang-outs were done and with the winter break starting a week from them, you wouldn’t be seeing him
For the entirety of your dinner with Bokuto, he had run on his usual monologues. You would intervene here and there, but you had let him lead the night. You were too busy in your head trying to agree with yourself on how you were going to confess. This didn’t make time stop. Soon your dishes were served, you ate, you talked about what you were doing for the winter break, finished your sodas and paid the bill. In the blink of an eye you were back on the street amid the early, cold night. Time was up.
Bokuto’s long sight as he stretched his arms upwards and his back cracked told you he was ready to head home, but you were speechless.
“Well, see ya’ tomorrow!” Bokuto said as energetically as usual.
You held your breath. You only had to tell him to wait a second, that you needed to tell him something else, and then just let him know. It was all you needed to do—to speak the right words. But you remained silent and he started to head off, the lump on your throat felt worse.
For the last month you had been living in a torturous cycle. You would get too nervous to tell him about your feelings, and after you failed, you would feel pathetic for not being able to tell him. Today just seemed to be another horrible day where you miserably lost an excellent opportunity.
You loved the feeling of walking beside him whether it was on the school halls or on the street, you loved watching the fluctuation in his face every time he jumped from one mood to the other with ease. You loved to hear him talk about his day or to complain when he thought he had given a lackluster performance when most probably he had done great. You wanted more. You didn’t want to depend on study sessions or volleyball games to have time with him.
Out of nowhere, you evoked the courage to sprint away from your house and to where Bokuto had gone. You shouted his name hoping he would hear you and stop but he was nowhere to be seen. You ran for a good five minutes until you finally saw his silhouette. How fast did he walk?, you asked to yourself.
“Bokuto!” you called again. This time he did hear you and turned around surprised to see you running with such urgency.
“____, is everything okay? Did something happen?” he asked, worried.
You stopped in front of him panting like crazy. “I need…” you started saying, but shut your mouth immediately. There it was… your asphyxiating heartbeat . “I mean, I… I, what I mean is…”
You stared at the floor, incapable to keep staring at his eyes. You were still on time to run back to your house and lock yourself in your bedroom hoping you two could pretend she had never sprinted several blocks for nothing. “I wanted to, to, to…” you cursed in your mind. You shut your eyes tight, feeling a couple of tears at the corners. You hadn’t even been rejected, but the emotions were so strong and real, it was all too much.
“You’re scaring me,” Bokuto said, even more worried now. His strong voice had grown softer. It was so different from what it always was, he sounded like another person.
“I only needed to tell you…” you managed to complete a whole sentence. You took a deep breath. That was it. You had to do it. “I only needed to tell you that I have feelings for you, Bokuto. I don’t know how you feel but I need you to know that I like you,” you blurted.
Instantly, it was like you were lighter and heavier at the same time. You were out of breath and your hands were sweaty and shaky. The only thing you heard was silence and so the tears were now threatening to fall. You didn’t want to lift your gaze and risk catching the troubled expression on his face as he searched for the nicest way to turn you down.
“I like you a lot, actually,” he said. Simple and clean. No stuttering nor embarrassment.
Your head snapped in shock. One tear managed to fall across your cheek as there was nothing holding them back. “What? How?” you muttered. You had been so sure he wouldn’t feel the same, you didn’t even bother to ponder that maybe… he did.
He pouted, displeased with your answer. “What do you mean how?” he said, crossing his arms. “I think I was being obvious.” He was now looking away from you. He seemed to be as flustered as you were.
“Obvious?” You were trying to process his words, still in awe.
“I mean, the teacher told me to pick between you and other two, but I don’t know, you were always cute to me, so I wanted to see what you were like,” he explained and sighed loudly. “I thought I was doing a good job being obvious.”
“No, I… I thought I was getting the wrong idea,” you whispered. Your pulse had slowed down and was now beating in a more-less steady rhythm. All those times he made space to come to you after his matches, all those times he approached you on the hallways and pulled you to walk together with him to class, all those times you felt special thinking it was only in your head… it wasn’t. It was always Bokuto trying to make a move on you.
He faced you again with a smile back on his face. “We should go out, then” he started saying. The pink on your cheeks become more intense being visible even in the dark of the night. “Are you free this Friday?”
“Okay,” you repeated in a whisper.
The two of you stood there without a clue to what to do next. Bokuto let out a short laugh and bent down to deposit a kiss on your head. “Goodnight, see you tomorrow” he said and started to walk home again.
“Text me when you arrive home!” you dared to shout. Your good humor had not only come back, but you were head-over-hills.
He raised a hand to let her know he had heard you. “I will!”
You watched him go for a second and then turned around and started to run to your house. You could walk, but the adrenaline in your body demanded an outlet. You didn’t care what happened next. You liked him and he liked you back.
And best of all… you had a date on Friday with him. It just couldn’t get any better than that.
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