Me and deadlines have a close relationship.

Save yourselves, run before you get stuck on this hellsite Sci-fi, fandom, cats and whatever else strikes my fancy

[errorschacha]

Not to indulge in childish fantasies but what if every time I checked the news it wasn’t worse?

[sycamorality]

op disabled reblogs but i really wanted this post on my blog again

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[inconspectus]

once my therapist said I used very uncommon and creative phrases and adjectives and i just did not have the heart to tell that Old Lady From A Foreign Small Town that I was translating tumblr speech into our language. so I was like yeah... must be from the books I read...

like girl we have an army of scholars over at tumblr.com crafting our language it's not just little old me I swear

[copperbadge]

I once called a colleague's Borzoi a beautiful Gentle Alien, assuming the term had long since become commonplace outside of Tumblr, and discovered when he burst into delighted laughter at the term that it Had Not. I had to explain to him that I'm not a comedy genius, just repeating a niche meme.

[skylessknights]

GONCHAROV (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

“It funny because for many years people thought Goncharov was the main antagonist of the film, after all, he’s the one everyone’s out to get, right? But it seems people are starting to understand that in actual fact, it is time that is the main adversary in this story. There’s never enough of it and that torments a lot of characters, especially Goncharov, because he’s fighting so desperately to find his place in a world that is so keen on keeping him ostracized.”

[template by @bitchronan]

[heatedrivalryz]

HUDSON WILLIAMS at the 2026 MET GALA

[lithominium]

Put your harpy girl in a harness, then attach a big rope to the harness, then take her to the park and fly her like a kite

[grimoiremanifest]

☝️Probrlem

[lithominium]

Whats the problem

[grimoiremanifest]

how;get down

[my-2nd-account]

More HR as textposts:

[lucylehane]

waiting and waiting and waiting -> finally connecting

[goetic-justice]

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

[goetic-justice]

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

[darlingofdots]

In the background of the video clip, posted by a fan at the hotel breakfast just before Christmas 2018, Shane Hollander is talking on the phone. He looks tired but he's smiling, pushing scrambled eggs around his plate with a fork. "I saw, baby," he says. "No, definitely, no way that was slashing, I'm with you. You'll get them next time, though. Beautiful goal you got in the first, that was so fucking sexy. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Love you."

Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?

And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.

And Shane Hollander is so consumed by jealousy he almost chokes.

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[kateammann]

Happy Pride Month to all of my fellow aces!! 🖤🩶🤍💜

[helicalsymmetry]

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

[helicalsymmetry]

2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'

[young-waverer]

Dr. Ryland Grace -> Interstellar Fashion Icon

[sharkfiinn]

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[magnusttsisgay-official]

Jarvis, pull up that variable meme.

[maplecinnamonbun]

i’m reminded of the developer of a mapping software who had a variable named ‘legend_handles’ that got refactored into ‘leg_handles,’ ‘leg_hands,’ and finally ‘feet’

[terraswallows]

This is the way.

[disgustinggf]