The Secret Life Of The Nanny

A nanny that is trying to figure life out with a 18-month old child, another on the way and two dogs AKA monsters.

[haileybug822-blog]

The Blade

I let your love in, I have the scar I felt the razor against my heart I thought we were both in all the way But you caught it by the handle And I caught it by the blade You said "goodbye, it's not the end And if you need me, I'm still your friend" Well, that's easy for you to say Cause you caught it by the handle And I caught it by the blade That's the risk you run when you love, when you love And you give it all you've got to give Knowing all along there's a chance, there's a chance You'll reach and they won't You'll bleed and they don't For you, it's over; for me, it's not I kept trying and you just stopped Now I know how you can sound so brave Cause you caught it by the handle, baby And I caught it by the blade That's the risk you run when you love, when you love And you give it all you've got to give Knowing all along there's a chance, there's a chance You'll reach and they won't You'll bleed and they don't I thought we were both in all the way But you caught it by the handle And I caught it by the blade You caught it by the handle, baby And I caught it by the blade

[haileybug822-blog]

"Let It Go"

From walking home and talking loads To seeing shows in evening clothes with you From nervous touch and getting drunk To staying up and waking up with you But now we're slipping at the edge Holding something we don't need All this delusion in our heads Is gonna bring us to our knees So come on let it go Just let it be Why don't you be you And I'll be me Everything that's broke Leave it to the breeze Why don't you be you And I'll be me And I'll be me From throwing clothes across the floor To teeth and claws and slamming doors at you If this is all we're living for Why are we doing it, doing it, doing it anymore I used to recognize myself It's funny how reflections change When we're becoming something else I think it's time to walk away So come on let it go Just let it be Why don't you be you And I'll be me Everything that's broke Leave it to the breeze Why don't you be you And I'll be me And I'll be me Trying to fit your hand inside of mine When we know it just don't belong There's no force on earth Could make me feel right, no Whoa Trying to push this problem up the hill When it's just too heavy to hold Think now's the time to let it slide So come on let it go Just let it be Why don't you be you And I'll be me Everything that's broke Leave it to the breeze Let the ashes fall Forget about me Come on let it go Just let it be Why don't you be you And I'll be me And I'll be me

[haileybug822-blog]

Uncontrollable thoughts

As I lie here trying to fall asleep my brain just won't stop like every night since we ended. Even now almost two months later I can't stop thinking of us. Every time I close my eyes it's like reruns of all my favorite and worst memories of what we once were. My most embarrassing, most sorrowful and my happiest moments since I met you. How could we fall apart? How did we let this happen? I need this nightmare to be over. Most of all I want to wake up to another good morning text or the sound of your voice. The crying myself to sleep every night has to end. I miss you so much. When I think of you (which is constantly) it feels like something punched me right through my chest. It hurts so much more when I think you don't feel the same and as much as I want you to be happy it's killing me. The thought of you loving someone else terrifies me and makes me want to scream. For me I know I will not trust another human being to love me ever again, I'm closing my heart off. You broke me and I am losing me. Physically, mentally and emotionally I can't function any more. How could I let this happen. I sit here constantly trying to picture what could have made a difference, how we could have made it work. I blame myself every day because I love you and I would do anything to turn the hands of time and change everything. I miss you and I still love you.

[haileybug822-blog]

Recipe for disaster

2 cups of what you thought was love 1 cup of man-child 2 cups of resentment And sprinkle of anger

Mix all together for a year and half then proceed to taste it.

Next step google how to get over it.

Drink wine accordingly.

The end.

[haileybug822-blog]

I never realized just how right you were until recently when I realized I still care. When you said you can't just quit loving someone I thought I knew what it meant. I now know I care about you not because I want you apart of my life but because my life is better since you tried to take me under. I'm grateful that you screwed up so I could finally let you go and find true love.

[haileybug822-blog]

Three things I honestly despise but have no control over.

1. Hand wash only cups. 2. People who don’t like my spoiled and uber annoying dog. 3. Not winning the lottery.

What a relief…. So glad that’s off my chest. Now I can go back to being completely useless.

[haileybug822-blog]

"Love Like Mine"

So you think that you're the one who's up in score Just 'cause you're the first one walkin' out the door Well take it when you leave I don't need the sympathy I might stay up drunk on wine, hurt like hell, and ugly cryin' black mascara tears I might lock my door, sleep with my phone, miss you bad for a month or so, but let me tell you somethin my dear I'm gonna be just fine but you're never gonna find another love like mine, oh no no See I think you think that new means better off But the proof's in the pudding once the shine is lost So go and get yourself A little taste of somethin else I might stay up drunk on wine, hurt like hell, and ugly cryin' black mascara tears I might lock my door, sleep with my phone, miss you bad for a month or so But let me tell you somethin my dear I'm gonna be just fine but you're never gonna find another love like mine yeah It's startin to sound like a good idea The more we're standin here I'm gonna stay up drunk on wine, hurt like hell, and ugly cryin' black mascara tears I'm gonna lock my door, sleep with my phone, miss you bad for a month or so But let me tell you somethin my dear I'm gonna be just fine but you're never gonna find, no I'm gonna be just fine but you're never gonna find, no I'm gonna be just fine but you're never gonna find another love like mine, oh no no Never gonna find another love like mine, oh no no

[haileybug822-blog]

[haileybug822-blog]

I love my life.

[haileybug822-blog]

You hit me like fire, shot me like a bullet. Burned me up and down, no way to cool it. But every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey. It's like a bottle of Jack straight to the head. One shot, two shot, copper tone red. Every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey.

[haileybug822-blog]

My squishy....

[haileybug822-blog]

I couldn't love this man more!

[haileybug822-blog]

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life in your beautiful light.

[haileybug822-blog]

To my former love, You and I were a light that shined bright but only moments at a time. When the light went out it was catastrophe. We both needed a fresh start and to be outta each other's bubble. We were a lesson for each other and for that I thank you. Without you I wouldn't know true heartache could be caused by loving to much. I loved so hard I lost myself in the process. Now my life is different, the clouds have finally lifted. These past three years have been the hardest of my life. I refuse to let my next year go the same way. My decisions to be true to me and what I want out of this life has brought me to someone who wants my crazy ass. He is a wonderful man for whom I don't have to compromise what I believe. For me he has changed everything, I can't imagine a life without his sweet, silly and just all around good. You may not believe it but I'm grateful to you. Without our beautiful mess I wouldn't know any better. Thank you with every bit of sincerity. I'm happy, I wake everyday thankful for this life and everything in it. That all being said I truly pray and hope you find what your looking for. I will always care about you.

[haileybug822-blog]

Our Halloween. :)

[haileybug822-blog]

Happiness.

[haileybug822-blog]

"Let Her Go"

Well you only need the light when it's burning low Only miss the sun when it starts to snow Only know you love her when you let her go Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you’re missin' home Only know you love her when you let her go And you let her go Staring at the bottom of your glass Hoping one day you'll make a dream last But dreams come slow and they go so fast You see her when you close your eyes Maybe one day you'll understand why Everything you touch surely dies But you only need the light when it's burning low Only miss the sun when it starts to snow Only know you love her when you let her go Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you're missin' home Only know you love her when you let her go Staring at the ceiling in the dark Same old empty feeling in your heart 'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast Well you see her when you fall asleep But never to touch and never to keep 'Cause you loved her too much And you dived too deep Well you only need the light when it's burning low Only miss the sun when it starts to snow Only know you love her when you let her go Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you're missin' home Only know you love her when you let her go And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no) And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no) Will you let her go? 'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low Only miss the sun when it starts to snow Only know you love her when you let her go Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you're missin' home Only know you love her when you let her go 'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low Only miss the sun when it starts to snow Only know you love her when you let her go Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you're missin' home Only know you love her when you let her go And you let her go