#HAILSMARY. an ind. priv. sel. mat. portrayal of DR. RYLAND GRACE of PROJECT HAIL MARY. primarily based on the 2026 FILM ADAPTATION. headcanon based + primarily AU BASED + PRE-CANON. as STUDIED by SILAS ( 25 , they/them , est ). MUTUALS ONLY + MUST BE 18+.
A THESIS IN : i put the "not" in astronaut / humankind has the extraordinary ability to take the abnormal & make it normal / i'll watch you sleep , but you need to wake up / some people don't rise to the occasion / you're smart , you'll figure it out / you find someone to be brave for.
oh also. to add onto everything i just wrote, grace's mom dies while he is in a coma on the hail mary. buried in grace's belongings was a final letter from her that he never found, not that grace remembered much from his childhood, which is probably for the better. but stratt gave it to him anyway because she knew, of course.
ryland grace was born to a single mother on august 10 in copper harbor, michigan, ryland grace grew up nestled in the coastlines of the great lakes. his mother worked a lot to support the two of them, and she did her best to be present for most of ryland's life. up until he was around eight years old, when his mother lost one of her jobs and ryland lost his childhood home as they moved into a small apartment. his mother still made sure that rent was paid and food was on the table, but for many months, life in the grace household was difficult. despite that, ryland loved his mother and was happy to have her around whenever they could spend time together, up until his mother got sick when he was ten years old.
it wasn't anything physical that doctors could fix, at least not from what ryland had heard. the sickness was in her mind. his mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia that year, and while she tried her best to manage her condition and continue on, the stress of her jobs, of being a single mother, of the way their entire lives had become was too much for her to bear. in the fall of that year, ryland's mother experienced a mental breakdown and was admitted to the hospital for psychiatric care. though his mother had been in contact with family that lived in other parts of the state, none were willing or able to take in her son long-term, and at ten years old, ryland grace was put into the foster care system, as his mother was admitted to a psychiatric facility where she would be able to get the care she needed. in the months until he could be properly placed into a foster home, ryland was bounced around between grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who lived in the area and were close with his mother. he never stayed anywhere for more than a few weeks at a time, maybe a month or so at most. by the time he was eleven, they'd found a temporary placement for him, just for a few days while another foster family was finalized.
ryland grace was a well-behaved child. he was polite, he was smart, and he never caused trouble for anyone, or at least, he never tried to. his first foster family was a young couple who had two children of their own, and although he was kind and polite, although he knew his foster parents cared for him, ryland could never quite feel like he belonged there. his foster parents were kind, they took care of him just like his mother had, but deep down, ryland knew they were not his family, and that they never would be, not the way his mother was. he stayed with his first foster family for a long time, until they moved out of state in spring of that year, just before his thirteenth birthday. since they had no plans to adopt him, ryland said goodbye to his first foster family, and wondered what about him had to be changed to find a family he would belong in.
his second foster family was a middle aged couple who, while they cared for ryland, tended to leave him to his own devices. they never spent much time together, and ryland tried to spend as much time away from the house as possible. he did multiple extracurriculars just to have something to do, and worked as hard as he could in school to try and get their attention. fortunately, he didn't stay with this family long, only for a few months, until mid-summer.
for a few months, ryland grace lived in a group home of boys around his age with nowhere else to go. it wasn't the worst experience he'd ever had, and thankfully, it was only temporary. at fourteen, ryland is placed in his third foster home, belonging to a couple he still cares for deeply. a married couple in their mid 40s who had struggled to have children took him in, and for once ryland could breathe. not only were they kind to him, it was just the three of them in the house. it took a few weeks for grace to really relax, to understand that they cared about him, that they wanted him around. they would ask questions about his day, and slowly but surely grace warmed up to them, and he flourished under their care. they treated him like he was truly their son, and he viewed them as his parents, minus his real mother, of course. but it was nice to feel cared for again, to feel at home somewhere for the first time in nearly two years. but as good as things were for ryland, it wouldn't last. although this couple had been planning to adopt him, as reunifying him with his mother had been off the table for many years, it unfortunately never came through. his foster mother got sick, and they could no longer take care of him. at
on his final foster home, ryland began to ask when his mother would be better, when she'd be able to take him home. previously, he had not been to visit her, even though he loved her dearly. but at 16 years old, he was tired of living with strangers. he got no real answers about his mother, and in winter of that year, ryland realized he may never see his mother again. overcome with grief, he attempted to run away. he didn't get very far, and was ultimately dragged back to his foster family. this family, another younger couple in their 30s, were not as kind as any previous families he was with. his social worker had shared what had happened to his mother, and instead of being met with pity, ryland was met with scorn and ostracized. his foster parents only seemed to acknowledge his presence when they were angry with him, and his foster siblings seemed to take delight in tormenting him. at sixteen, when grace started at yet another high school, he wasn't able to make any real friends either, too awkward for the popular crowd, too smart for the burnouts, too loud for the quiet kids and too much for anyone. so he found belonging in academia, and single-mindedly focused on his schoolwork and extraucrriculars. for the most part, he ignored the baiting and goading of his foster siblings' attempts to get him in trouble and took whatever anger his foster parents wanted to throw at him, be it physical or verbal, working as hard as he could to get into a good school somewhere far away from all of this.
at seventeen years old, ryland grace graduated high school as valedictorian, and earned a full ride scholarship to stanford university, which took him far away from his home in michigan, but he was grateful to be free. it took him until he was twenty-six years old, but he achieved a doctorate in molecular biology, and went on to study life that could potentially exist in space, leading to his highly controversial paper, claiming that water is not necessary for life to evolve, and that the goldilocks zone does not exist. both this paper and calling a leading biologist a staggering waste of carbon to his face at a conference led to grace being dismissed from his post-doctorate program and banned from higher academia, which left him few career choices.
additionally, at age eighteen, ryland managed to reconnect with his mother once again. although she would never have been fit to raise him again, through working with her care team and years of treatment and therapy, they were able to form a connection. on breaks from school, ryland would fly back to michigan and stay with family to spend time with her as much as he possibly could, writing her letters and sending photographs when he went back to california.
shortly after the UNESCO debacle, ryland received his teaching license in the state of california, and began teaching eighth grade science at grover cleveland middle school at twenty-eight years old. he enjoys his job, he enjoys teaching kids and encouraging them to learn, to be a reprieve from the potential pressures of academia, to allow them space to simply be, something grace had sorely needed when he was their age. teaching is truly a passion of his, and he plans to stay at grover cleveland as long as he can, at least until fate leads him to eva stratt, who recruits him to study a sample from the petrova line for a secret operation known as project hail mary. he determines that not only are there living cells in the petrova line, but that they feed off of the sun's energy and use it to propel themselves to venus, drawn in by the infrared frequency of CO2 gas, finding it a suitable place to breed before returning to the sun. this scientific breakthough accelerates work on project hail mary, and grace, as the current expert on astrophage biology, leads experiments and research on astrophage for almost nine months. just before the hail mary is ready to launch, a catastrophic explosion kills the volunteer scientist and his backup, putting the mission in jeopardy. to save the mission, and thus the sun and potentially other stars, stratt ask grace himself to go on the mission. even though he refuses, grace is forced to go, being held down and drugged while begging for his life. just as stratt says, the mission records state that grace's coma was induced early to maximise safety, and alongside the captain and engineer, grace is boarded onto the ship and launched into space, never to return.
â maybe you're right. maybe i should be angry. but how do you know i'm not ?? â
just because grace didn't show his anger , didn't care to wield it like she did didn't mean it wasn't there. because it was , it is , it still burns under his skin & threatens to ignite from time to time. but grace refuses to let it. he had spent enough time with an angry man in his house , he refuses to have another. all his anger just makes his kindness a choice in the end , one that he continues to make.
their stories are similar , too similar for grace not to hurt for her. here he is , the fox in a cage , too trusting & kind for his own good. they lured him in here & then disposed of him , commanded his body to the stars. all too suddenly , he is reminded of a dog , whose last night on earth was spent in joyous company , who went unknowingly to her doom.
it's an apt metaphor , grace thinks as he watches ellie pace. he is laika in this scenario , after all.
â but ... i can't be angry for my own sake , i don't think. because sending me up here was the right choice. the only choice. & i'm ... i'm okay with that. â
he means it , to some extent. sure , he doesn't want to die , but if he has to die to save his kids , his family , the world , that's okay. hell , his death will save two worlds !! that's something with meaning , that's enough to be proud of. absently , grace rubs at the back of his neck before he stands , arms crossed.
â & as for why i'm trying to make you feel better ?? i just ... i want you to know you're not alone. that ... that your life does have meaning , ellie. â
he crosses the short distance between them , standing behind her , close enough to reach out. a shaking hand settles on her shoulder as he exhales. this is perhaps the closest he's been to another person in a long time. she reminds him of himself when he was younger , the kid no one wanted to keep , the boy who never belonged anywhere. it's so hard to walk through life without someone who cares , without anyone to lean on.
â it has meaning because it's your life , to do whatever you choose with it. that's enough. you deserve to live , too. & i'm not ... not mad about being forced up here. how can i be ?? â
there's a slight pause as grace sniffles , shaking his head as he steps around to look ellie in the eyes. he's crying a little , but they both are , so it's okay. his hands settle on her shoulders as he smiles , resolute.
â i got to do a lot of cool science i never could've done before. & i got to meet you. i can't be mad about that. â
grace does not begrudge ellie her anger , the sharp teeth that snap together , that sink into anything gentle & kind like a warning , that the next one will be worse. he doesn't hold it against her , because really , he was her , in a past life. no one wanted to keep him around , everyone looked at him & found him wanting , found him lacking. he knew what it was like to be abandoned , more than just disposed of.
â more than you think. y'know , i used to be just like you. â
grace grins , lopsided & sincere. she knows just as much about his life as he did about hers. so much about them was similar ; it was why grace knew she had so much more potential , & why he believed she could do so much more with her life. he wished when he was her age that he'd had someone who believed in him , who wanted him around , who cared. because deep down , her anger , his anger , it was a shield , not a weapon. they bit to protect themselves , after all , it was easier to be angry than it was to be soft.
& perhaps that was why grace offered her tenderness. if she wanted to bite , to lash out , he'd let her. a little violence , a little anger , a little cruelty never scared him. ellie was just a kid in a world that never allowed her to be one. it made something in his chest ache , something that warms when her arms wrap around him , tucking herself against him. grace is quick to return the gesture , chuckling softly before he speaks.
â my mom actually said that to me , y'know ?? a long time ago , probably when i was a kid. â
still , grace bends enough to rest his head against hers , sighing. he knows how it feels to be left behind by everyone around you.
â hey , you are doing something good. & you've got me. 'til however this ends. i'm not gonna leave you behind , promise. â
â maybe you're right. maybe i should be angry. but how do you know i'm not ?? â
just because grace didn't show his anger , didn't care to wield it like she did didn't mean it wasn't there. because it was , it is , it still burns under his skin & threatens to ignite from time to time. but grace refuses to let it. he had spent enough time with an angry man in his house , he refuses to have another. all his anger just makes his kindness a choice in the end , one that he continues to make.
their stories are similar , too similar for grace not to hurt for her. here he is , the fox in a cage , too trusting & kind for his own good. they lured him in here & then disposed of him , commanded his body to the stars. all too suddenly , he is reminded of a dog , whose last night on earth was spent in joyous company , who went unknowingly to her doom.
it's an apt metaphor , grace thinks as he watches ellie pace. he is laika in this scenario , after all.
â but ... i can't be angry for my own sake , i don't think. because sending me up here was the right choice. the only choice. & i'm ... i'm okay with that. â
he means it , to some extent. sure , he doesn't want to die , but if he has to die to save his kids , his family , the world , that's okay. hell , his death will save two worlds !! that's something with meaning , that's enough to be proud of. absently , grace rubs at the back of his neck before he stands , arms crossed.
â & as for why i'm trying to make you feel better ?? i just ... i want you to know you're not alone. that ... that your life does have meaning , ellie. â
he crosses the short distance between them , standing behind her , close enough to reach out. a shaking hand settles on her shoulder as he exhales. this is perhaps the closest he's been to another person in a long time. she reminds him of himself when he was younger , the kid no one wanted to keep , the boy who never belonged anywhere. it's so hard to walk through life without someone who cares , without anyone to lean on.
â it has meaning because it's your life , to do whatever you choose with it. that's enough. you deserve to live , too. & i'm not ... not mad about being forced up here. how can i be ?? â
there's a slight pause as grace sniffles , shaking his head as he steps around to look ellie in the eyes. he's crying a little , but they both are , so it's okay. his hands settle on her shoulders as he smiles , resolute.
â i got to do a lot of cool science i never could've done before. & i got to meet you. i can't be mad about that. â
