Levihan 👏 as 👏 zookeepers 👏 handling 👏 pandas 👏 🐼
oRRRRRR levihan AS PANDAS 🐼❤️🥺💐
for Cashew aka Acacia aka immagoudaboi aka my bao bei
Summary: The captain and the commander both got turned into pandas. Crackfic, beware.
The moment the Paths take them back to the forest, Hange Zoe shifts in their spot and starts with a scream. There's a monster right beside them. They grab a rock in hand, ready to strike it down, until they realize that their own hand isn't really a hand.
And the monster isn't really a monster, but rather, "...Levi?"
"What in the world--" Then it's Levi's turn to gasp when he sits up. "...Four-Eyes?"
He's not in pain, but he feels very, very... furry. He looks down and sees that he's just the same as Hange: his big round belly protruding from the blanket, hands now paws a bit too heavy for him to support while sitting up. God forbid he cranes over his shoulder to see that tiny stub of a tail right behind him. For some unknown reason, the two of them are now black, white, and also, fluffy.
The bear who seems to be Hange plops down right beside him and slams a hand--rather, paw--to their face. "What the hell did Eren do?"
Levi's mouth lets out something that resembles a groan. This isn't funny. They're in the middle of the war, in an open forest.
"Did that idiot just turn us into fucking bears?"
"Azumabito told me about these. They're called..." Hange tries to recollect the word. "Pandas."
He snorts. "Sweet, now all that's left is for us to climb the trees."
Hange proceeds on telling him how these pandas are abundant in Kiyomi's hometown, and how they feed on nothing but leaves. The information doesn't help one bit. How are they supposed to fight their enemies? Sit on them? Smash their heads in between their paws? Chew their innards raw?
But this Hange in front of him is still human, deep down inside. Well, sort of. Levi merely watches as they grab a bamboo stem and start chewing on it.
Both of Hange's big, brown eyes are staring back at him, ears black and floppy, nose a little bit more pronounced.
He kicks the blanket aside and proceeds to lay down on the grass. The tickling sensation feels comfortable.
"Don't tell me you're about to mark the territory with your scent," Hange teases him, but he only shoots back with a glare. The campfire is now dwindling into embers, leaving the cool air to breeze past them.
When Hange hands him a stalk, he can't help it.
So here they are, munching on bamboo shoots and leaves. Levi can feel his molars crushing and grinding the food in between his front paws. Being a panda isn't too bad at all.
Once they're done eating, Panda Hange settles right beside him, too close for his comfort. But the layers of fur in between them is keeping him warm, so this is nice. Levi tucks his paws beneath him, trying to act domestic and civilized, but Hange merely flumps into the pile of leaves, face first, their tiny fluff of a tail up in the air.
Within seconds, Hange starts snoring.
Maybe they should just live here together, after all.
P.S. I had to stop myself from giggling after Google-searching images of pandas falling asleep and rolling around in the ground