it'll cost you!

queen of sheba, "caster of midrash," from fate/grand order. affiliated with citta.

[halfdjinn-blog]

aurochial:

“They live here, but if I tried to buy a coffee looking like that, they’d have me removed!! Is it so much to ask that they at least grow in proportion to their own size?”

He tossed a piece of his coffee cake to a squirrel that was presumably one of the more dignified ones, or at least the one farthest away from The Dangler. When he looked back up to Sheba, he seemed to have moved on completely, judging by the easy smile on his face.

“So, how are you this golden day?”

“I should hope they’re only growing as nature intended.” She pauses to sip at her beverage, internally wondering how they ended up discussing such matters on their outing. Even her clairvoyance wouldn’t have been able to predict this turn of events. “At least, I hope it’s natural. There is a lot of radiation in the surrounding sectors...”

“-- Anyway!” She clears her throat, content to leave The Dangler well enough alone. “I’ve been doing well, actually. Thank you for asking! It took some time, but I’ve finally discovered a suitable business venture here in the city. From the calculations I’ve done, it seems like a guaranteed success~!” Her tail wags happily beneath her vibrant dressings. “How have you been? Keeping busy?”

[koyoriin]

http://twitter.com/koyoriin http://patreon.com/koyorin http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=12576068

Little drawing of Queen of Sheba (Fate Grand Order)! (Patron suggestion)

[halfdjinn-blog]

romantiquea:

“… It’s strange, but I haven’t had a bad dream in a while now. Huh…– I wonder if this is a sign of something good on the horizon.”

“You should play the lottery, then~!”

[halfdjinn-blog]

She doesn’t have the right to say anything on this subject, so she’s keeping quiet.

[halfdjinn-blog]

lunarchained:

The princess of the True Ancestors sighed with a weight rolling off her shoulders. Of course she couldn’t have put a credit card number, even if she wanted… because she had none. “So you have to be secretive even with your name…? Identity theft… how strange. I thought ordinary people were more open about that.” According to the World, they should be. Was the internet not included in that or was this knowledge deemed unnecessary…? She grasped at straws and felt outdated on it. “But I’ll keep it in mind.” 

“You sound really experienced in all of that. Do you run a dating business yourself?“

“A dating business? Oh, no, nothing of the sort!” She dismisses the educated guess with a mirthful wave of her hand. “I just have a special interest in gathering treasures. It’s always a good idea to protect your valuables~!” The jovial queen emphasizes her advice with a wink. “Come to think of it, isn’t your identity the most valuable thing that you own? If you lose that, you stand to lose everything else, too!”

[halfdjinn-blog]

aurochial:

“I suppose that explains why they’re so round…”

He pursed his lips in judgement as he continued to watch the squirrels. One nearly spherical squirrel he watched in particular.

“But that doesn’t excuse the way that they… dangle.” His expression dropped into an open frown as the squirrel in question turned to reveal the very part of it that dangled so.

“Stop that at once!” But the squirrel did not listen. Orion was forced to return to his tea, defeated.

“… Why don’t they get someone to remove them?” Although whether he meant the squirrels or their nuts, who could say.

“Dangle...” She repeated the word with a sense of foreboding, all too aware of the anatomical portion to which he was referring. Her cobalt eyes averted from the rotund rodent as if to spare it the shame of being criticized by two different stares.

“They live here too, don’t they?” The clairvoyant’s lips pursed as she returned the spoon to her drink, watching its contents swirl in a hypnotic spiral. “Like it or not, it’s our duty to share this place with everything that’s been brought here -- even the exhibitionist squirrels.”

[halfdjinn-blog]

nitokurisu replied to your post “She’s pretending that she didn’t just have a mental breakdown. She’s...”

just don't look at the reddit. don't look at what they call us.

little-known fact: goetia decided to destroy humanity after reading the fgo subreddit

[halfdjinn-blog]

She’s pretending that she didn’t just have a mental breakdown. She’s also pretending that her business-partner-to-be didn’t call her breasts perky.

[halfdjinn-blog]

indecypherablemind:

“Ah—”

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t… intend to make you cry. Forgive me.”

“You’re right, though... I’m old and I’m dead and I have no idea how to run a modern-day business because we didn’t have the Internet in the desert, only camels and papyrus and incense...!” Her tail droops until it’s hanging between her legs like a sad segment of torn fabric.

[halfdjinn-blog]

indecypherablemind:

“Oh, do forgive me, Your Majesty! Far be for me to assume that royalty, if you are what you claim to be, should very well know better than to bilk the common masses out of their hard-earned money in their time of need, even if it is so much as salvaging a bit of data!”

“And if you must know, I hold myself no higher than most. It’s only when I feel someone is being duplicitous that I take offense, and this is most certainly the case! How would you feel if someone were to take your device and mill around on it while looking at some third-rate how-to website! You’re the one who should be ashamed. You most certainly appear to be old enough to do that, at least!”

“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

... ... ...

She’s crying. (It was all fun and games until he said that she looks old.)

[halfdjinn-blog]

indecypherablemind:

“I shall have you know, madam, that I am the heir apparent to a large conglomerate in my own home and I am quite aware of common business practice.”

“I am also aware of what subpar quality work looks like and this falls squarely within that sphere. If you yourself do not have the experience, then find someone who does. All publicity is not good publicity, particularly for fledgling industry. A poor experience will sink your company faster than lack of capital.” 

Her face takes on the distinct look of ‘I’m-about-to-say-something-I-shouldn’t.’

“Well, young man, I’ll have you know that I’m not a madam -- I’m the Queen of Sheba! I was running business ventures before you humans had a written copy of the Old Testament!” She admonishes him with a shake of her finger, her ears twitching in frantic annoyance. “It’s one thing to criticize how I make my money, but it’s another thing to imply that you’re above me simply because you own a business! Honestly, lecturing a stranger over business ethics when they’re only trying to expand their skill-set... You’ve got some nerve! This madam thinks you should be ashamed of your assumptions! The least you could do is offer help instead of a lecture! When I was your age, I was running an entire country! Not that I’m much older than you!”

(Yeah, it’s definitely the ‘madam’ that set her off.)

[halfdjinn-blog]

indecypherablemind:

“Spoken like someone who hasn’t the first idea what they’re doing. If there was any semblance of order in this place, you surely would have been arrested for false advertising by now.”

“What do you have against small businesses? Some of us charge extra fees for labor, or research... It’s not uncommon!” She’s never going to stop arguing about this. The Queen of Sheba refuses to lose when it comes to matters of finance!

[halfdjinn-blog]

“Grumble grumble...”

[halfdjinn-blog]

indecypherablemind:

“Glancing over your shoulder, I would say you’re offering a second-rate hack job that barely scratches the surface. Hardly worth the cost of hearing the offer to begin with, from my view.”

“...”

“B-- But I’m offering my services at a reduced price to compensate for my lack of professional training! Everyone has to start somewhere, you know? It’s about gaining experience, experience!”

[halfdjinn-blog]

indecypherablemind:

“Is this what brazen thievery looks like these days? How advanced.”

“G-- Goodness, no! I’m offering the exact service that I’ve promised, no strings attached!” It’s technically true... But she’s still sweating a little. 

[halfdjinn-blog]

draconistrarum replied to your post: “Alright, alright~! No one panic! For the low, low...

…slides 25 bucks and phone at

“Ufufu~! An excellent choice!” She gets to work right away.

takakatakatakataka THUMP THUMP click! tap tap swipe tap tap... ... ... TAKATAKATAKATAKA ... ... ba-ping!

“-- Here you go! It seems that your phone was full of ‘malicious applications,’ so I deleted them!” He easily could have done that himself, but that’s beside the point. “Thank you for your business~!”

[halfdjinn-blog]

“Alright, alright~! No one panic! For the low, low price of 25 Hivebucks, I can remove that nasty malware from your phones~!” Meanwhile, she’s using her laptop to G**gle ‘how to remove viruses from cellular phones.’