[haljordan]

whoops hi everyone

[ruskiizek-deactivated20180227]

это россия

[captain-price-official]

RAW SLAVIC POWER AND SEXUAL ENERGY

[yekkes]

Me reassuring myself: it’s really ok you dumb bitch

[harlivy]

Someone get Kate Winslet a microphone and thank her for wearing black then ask what it was like working with Woody Allen and defending him over and over!

[haljordan]

ferns replied to your post: how did you get this url??

i love you!

But you..... I fucking love yOU

[haljordan]

how did you get this url??

sold some government secrets (hint: george washington never actually died)

[haljordan]

are you coming back now?

No

[australiansanta]

a fun and interesting fact about me is that im a fucking idiot

[haljordan]

you still 17 Fatima? We out here being 18

Nigga shut up u mad cuz u can go to big kid jail now

[haljordan]

Friendly Reminder

i may have retired but i will always love claire 

[haljordan]

hn... hey kids

[haljordan]

my hand smells wonderful

[kramer]

remember twilight and how edward and bella couldn’t do it bc edward was afraid he’d fuck her to death?

[butterflyknyfe]

i remember bella willing to die for the dick

[drinkpisspissblood]

most annoying things about the signs

aries: “i’m an aries”

taurus: super jealous and territorial but goes after everyones man 

gemini: judgy!! 

cancer: super specific about their sleeping situation like “it has to be 100% dark and i need a fan on and exactly 2.5 pillows and a queen sized bed to myself”

leo: would break their own fingers to be the center of attention for 5 seconds

virgo: the flakiest people ever, will call you 5 hours after you were supposed to meet and say they fell asleep

libra: will manipulate you for dumb reasons like make you think you want mcdonalds so it doesnt seem like it was their idea

scorpio: genuinely a little bit evil for no reason

sagittarius: never calm down???like please relax

capricorn: will fuck up their own life and then whine about it like it wasn’t 100% their own fault

aquarius: constantly says they don’t like petty/fake people but lowkey one of the most petty/fake signs / 

pisces: constantly crying and need to be babied 

[haljordan]

tag yourself i’m all of the followers i’ve lost in the last 5 minutes

[haljordan]

...of all the talk show host, why him?

I’m asking myself the same question 

[haljordan]

unfollowed, blockt

Bye