The Next Thing

I'm Holland! I'm a Korean-American living in Wheaton, Il. I like ultimate frisbee, photography, and eating pizza as my main food group.

[hamesworth]

Fasting isn't what I expected.

Today I am fasting.  It's quite amazing to see the thoughts my mind has focused on today.   It's definitely not what I expected.  I thought I would be hungry, cranky, complaining, and waiting for tomorrow to hurry up and come so that I could eat.  Those thoughts entered my mind sometimes, but were quickly dismissed.  It made me realize how fortunate I was to be able to eat, and eat a lot.  I drove by so many tempting restaurants, but instead of wishing to go in, I actually felt so spoiled.  I felt bad for having so much more than I deserve.  

It was also just good to have the feeling of needing God.  I felt like I prayed a lot more simply because I knew I was going through something hard and God was the best solution.  I think that discovered the parallels between food and other earthly temptations.  I can't just give up food on my own.  I know that the only way to keep my stomach from growling is to pray.  I ask the Lord for help, for strength, to occupy my mind so I don't think about the hunger.  It helps me reverse the perspective of being hungry and instead start to be thankful.  It got me thinking that if this works with food, why wouldn't it work with any other type of earthly desire.  Sex? Money? Power?  All of those things are something that very easy take hold of my heart and steer it.  Instead of giving in or feeling like it's too hard, all I have to do is exactly what I did today.  Just ask for help.  It's so stupidly simple, but it has to be genuine and it isn't easy to give those things up.  God will bring you through it, not you.  Not your will power, not your self-control, God will empower you.  Have faith and try for yourself!

[hamesworth]

10 Chapters a Day.

Today I begin a   l  o  n  g  (or not really that long) process of reading the Bible.  I was challenged to read it cover to cover by reading 10 chapters everyday.  I hope that by the end of reading it I will be a totally changed person and completely without sin.  Just kidding.  I'm sure it will change me, but I don't expect all my problems to be solved.  The main part of doing this that I'm most looking forward to is having a true conviction for knowing what is right.  So many times I find myself questioning my decisions when asking what God would have me do.  Hopefully, I can learn about his character and be able to see my life better through a filter of God's truth.

  The New Testament has 260 chapters and the Old Testament has 929 chapters.  I figure at this pace I can finish the New Testament in just under a month!  Crazy right?  I’m going to start at the end and work backwards.  It makes it a much smaller beginner goal and a shorter win than starting with 50 chapters in Genesis.  Plus, just like with any goal I am trying to reach, having little victories early on will build confidence and keep me motivated until it becomes a habit.  I also want to try to journal about what I read each day.  I will shoot for 100-200 words for now as I want to just get in the habit first.  Each entry should include a quick summary, characteristic of God, and maybe an insight I gained.  I want to keep it concise and well thought out in a way that helps me remember it.  I feel that keeping it shorter for now will do just that.  Feel free to join me, comment on what I write, correct me, challenge me, or just read along. You can also help me by asking if I've done my reading or texting me to keep me on track! So here we go! 

[Just a side note: I probably won’t post this everyday, so don’t get too excited.]

Revelation 1-10

These chapters are about John’s vision of Jesus coming to him and laying out exactly what will happen when justice comes to earth.  Each prophesy is full of serious emotion.  There’s definitely no gray area when Jesus talks about how it’s going to be.  Our God is consistent even with his punishments.  The time for grace will have passed when that reckoning day comes and those who are evil will be punished.  It’s definitely scary to see that side of God.  We often portray him as a gentle lamb, and so caring and loving.  Which he is, but I think it’s good to be reminded that God also stands by his word and has a zero-tolerance policy for sin.  There can be no room for it when you’re in a relationship with him. 

[hamesworth]

Nothing can happen to us that God cannot redeem.

[fastcompany]

So, who’s more productive, introverts or extroverts?

[hamesworth]

The happiness which God designs for his higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they must be free.

Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis

[hamesworth]

Discipline to be Crazy

Think about how many people are successful.  You have olympic gold medalists that are the best athletes in the world.  There are scholars and innovators graduating from schools all around the world who are literally creating cures for diseases, lab made foods, and websites that people will spend more time on than they do eating!  It's weird to think about how all of these people became successful.  I have read a lot of books about these type of people and what they do to become successful.  I've talked to people who have done direct sales and made tons of money.  The funny thing is that the story is the same.  The secret key of every story deals with a crazy commitment to do a bunch of little extreme habits that eventually create the scale of success they want.  

It's such an easy process that literally any person could do it.  The problem comes in that so many of us are scared of what other people will think.  Our friends will think we're crazy and obsessed with whatever we're chasing.  Why is this considered to be such a negative thing?  How we do we deceive ourselves to believe that sacrificing a little bit of our image for a short time is not worth achieving our long term goals?  We allow ourselves to delay our habits of discipline thinking that we have "earned" a break, when really all we've done is simply given ourselves permission to be lazy.  It's something that I find recurring in my life from job to job or new hobby in life. I still haven't learned how to sacrifice the short term for the long term.  I'm curious to know how these people like Rich Froning, Mark Cuban, and bands like the Beatles really worked out the day to day grind of slow progress and pain to achieve such huge success.  How crazy wold it be if we were disciplined in this way with our walk with God?  How transformed could we be if we just let our small habits dictate our actions and our long term goals kept us on track to maintain the level of consistency that Jesus showed throughout his entire life?

[hamesworth]

Changing My Vocabulary

Well it's happened!  My first client is under contract!  We made it through the inspection and now we're patiently working with our lovely mortgage lender to get all the paperwork done.  I'm really quite amazed at how quickly everything has happened.  There have been so many pieces that have prepared me for this and helped me get to this point.  When I was talking with my parents I told them I felt really "lucky," to have gotten my first two clients under contract.  

Fortunately, my mom knows that there is no way it was luck and reminded me that God has definitely shown favor on me.  I had to stop and realize what I had just done.  I had taken away the credit from God and basically let myself believe that it wasn't supposed to happen, like an accident.  It's so difficult for to say those words that I am blessed.  Sometimes I feel so insecure about it because it sounds so cheesy.  It's definitely a pride thing and basically not wanting people to think I'm weird.  The truth is I've learned that doing things that are difficult or uncomfortable are often times the very things that help me grow and be successful.  Lesson learned for sure.  God is good, especially to me.  I need to recognize the source of my success and give my thanks back to him.  

[hamesworth]

Riskless Love

As I was talking with one of my friends from Korea last night, we talked about starting new relationships.  She was just leaving one and discussed with me her fear of loving in the future.  Her first insight was that she was scared to love for the fear of getting hurt.  I'm sure most people can relate to this as it happens throughout life.  It doesn't always have to be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but it can be a friendship or even a family member.  Many times we won't even think about a starting a new one because of all the pain that we've just experience from being let go, or letting someone go for one reason or another.  It sucks, let's just be honest.  There is always that risk involved with initiating and growing a new relationship.  You have to invest your time, open up to that person, let them know so much about you so that trust can be built.  The more you open up the harder it will be if the relationship comes to a close.  That's our thought process.  Sometimes it stifles us from getting closer to someone because there's so much anxiety about the, "what if," factor.  

That's earthly relationships.  Today in church I realized that the nice thing about having a relationship with God is that that risk is never there.  It's not possible for it to even exist.  We never have to fear that God will leave you or that his side of the relationship will stop.  It's eternal and constant.  You can pour out as much as you like and never have the fear that one day he might leave.   It's so comforting to know isn't it?  Even though nothing on earth will ever be consistent like this, we have the opportunity as followers of Christ to have access to this awesome relationship.  A place where we can always go to find riskless love.

[hamesworth]

Why Do We Complicate Decision Making?

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, especially because my job is to help people make decisions.  They have to choose which houses to look at, which areas to look at, how much they're willing to pay, and ultimately where they are going to live for the next phase of their life.  It's a bit scary when I think about the magnitude of change I'm helping someone make.  Buying a home is probably the biggest purchase you'll make in your life and it's my job to help people reach that conclusion!  

I realized over this weekend as I listened to my clients' fears of leaving their current neighborhood, having buyer's regret, too far from the train, to close to the airport, too expensive, won't be able to sell in the future, not enough space for kids, and the list goes on and on.  The truth is that we as humans are really good at thinking.  We are professional rationalizers and we can make anything make sense if we really want to.  The trouble with this comes when it's time to make a decision and we try to wait for the right answer to come along or hold out for something better.  

If you believe that God will not give you more than you can handle then why in the world would you worry about where you're going to live.  Do you really think God will put you in a place that you absolutely cannot survive?  Of course not!  He cares about you too much!  Maybe it will be uncomfortable, or difficult, but it will NEVER be something that you cannot get through.  Isn't that great news?  Doesn't that make decision making super simple?  

Sure doesn't.  I'm not saying we should just always go with our first instinct, rush into a situation and then hope that God can sort it out once we've charged in.  What I am trying to explain is that making a decision also has a lot to do with trusting God.  If you really believe that God will not give you more than you can handle then whatever decision you make will be turn out ok.  This doesn't mean you'll always make the right decision, but the consequences won't be more than you can handle either.  So whether you're faced with a decision to go to college, start a new job, leave a job, buy a house, start a relationship, just remember that because of God's love we will be able to carry on with our final decision.  If the consequence is bad, then we can learn from it.  If it's good, then we can thank God for it and look for our next decision.  Don't over think it.  You may spend so much time looking for the right answer that you step right on top of the actual answer you should be seeking.  

[hamesworth]

The Boss

If I haven't told you before, pretty much the whole reason I moved up here was to work with my friend/boss/manager/coach Pat.  He's an awesome guy who did the same crazy summer internship as me selling books door-to-door with the Southwestern Company.  Now Pat is cool for many reasons, but there's a new reason I just discovered the other day.  He is a flat out great salesman.  He's so good at selling, because he puts himself in their shoes and thinks what would be the best option.  Then he just tells them what he thinks, and usually it makes sense to them without much hesitation or resistance.  He's so genuine with his words and he really cares about people.   To quote my landlord (a friend of Pat's), "He could sell ketchup popsicles to eskimos wearing white gloves."  It's true!  One of his many records with the Southwestern Company was the number of consecutive sales.

 If you don't know much about selling things door-to-door, just know that even the most successful people get rejected about 80% of the time, and it's almost all cold calls.  That means, if you knock on 30 doors, 24 will say no.  In our job, we would generally only spend about 20 minutes with the 6 people that actually let us in, and maybe 50% of those people who listened to our 20 minute sales talk would actually buy.  Obviously, this is a generalization and some people had more, some had less.  Also, we would usually take orders and a deposit (maybe $250 or so) and promise them that we would bring their books at the end of the summer.  So now knowing all of that, let's go back to Pat.  His record for the most consecutive sales was some number over 20!  So that means he went to 20 houses of people he had never met before and not only did they sit and listen to him talk, but they handed him a check with nothing but a promise that he would bring back books at the end of the summer.  Crazy right?  So if he can sell books to a stranger in 20 minutes by really connecting and building trust just think of how well he's learned to grow his relationships with his real estate clients.  

Well yesterday I got to see firsthand why his real estate company has done nothing but grow for the past five years.  I took one of Pat's clients out to take a second look at a house in preparation to make an offer.  This client liked the house pretty well the previous day so I didn't think there would be any surprises and we could get the offer in that day.  When we entered the house, he was very unsure and basically had an opposite opinion of the house.  Pat met up with us later and could tell he something was up so he just asked him what was going on.  Our client explained some family issues that were happening and all of those events were affecting his idea of the house.  So it turns out, it wasn't really the house that he was against, it was underlying consequences that may have happened if he decided to purchase that house.  I never would have caught that, because to me it just seemed like he suddenly didn't like the house for no reason.  Pat just continued to listen and explain that buying a house was definitely secondary to straightening out our client's other family issues.  At the end of the day, our client thanked both of us and then told Pat, "You're a good friend, Pat.  Thank you."  It was then that I realized how much Pat really did care about his clients.  Does he want to make money and get people to buy and sell houses?  Of course he does, but more importantly he's willing to take the time and build up relationships to the point that he can look beyond numbers and dollar signs and not pressure people.  It's a skill that's tough to master, but I'm glad I'm learning from Pat.  He's truly customer and relationship focused instead of only caring about what he can gain.  Thanks for being a great model, Pat!

[hamesworth]

Sister Wisdom

It's so amazing how God will just speak to you through so many different ways. I just got off the phone with my oldest sister who just changed my view of my "job."  So basically we are in the same stage of the working cycle.  We both recently started a job and are fairly new.  There are tons of things to learn and definitely lots of feelings of uncertainty.  In fact most of the time it just seems like I'm stumbling through, making mistakes and learning from them as best I can.  My sister is making that mistakes necessarily,  (thankfully, she's working in the emergency room), but she is learning how to view her work through God's success.  As all of you know, people are always asking you questions about how your job/life are going. We sometimes get caught up in comparing our lives to other people.  We gauge their success on how long they've been at their job, how much money their making, or how many clients they have.  From an earthly standpoint, we have to see it that way, because that's the way that we are wired.  We are always looking to back things up with facts and history.  It's how we reason and come to conclusions on our standards of success.  

What she explained to me tonight was that God looks at the way we do our jobs in a way that is completely foreign to our minds.  He doesn't compare our job to our neighbors, or what rung on the corporate ladder we are on.  He only cares about doing HIS work at this moment.  Maybe that doesn't look like much to the world, but it's exactly what we should be doing at this point in time.  My sister reminded me that we have to focus on continually seeking out a way to show God to other people at whatever speed that may be.  It was definitely a relief and a reminder that I don't have to measure up to anyone else's standard but God's.  There's no need to try to copy someone else's path to success, because everyone's will be different.  It really takes away all the anxiousness when you realize that you're already doing enough.  

[blacklapelcc]

Elevate your sock game. 

[hamesworth]

One Turn

  The past week or so I've been feeling so anxious.  Yes, it's 12:31 and I should be sleeping, but I felt like writing this.  First off, my job rocks!  I love the spontaneous schedule, last minute business, seeing the houses, laughing at things people have in their houses, and getting to know each one of the clients I'm working with.  There are so many ways that this job just fits with my personality.

- I love being around people.  Check.  

- I really enjoy serving others or helping them with something.  Check.

- I don't like having to be clocked in from 9-5.  Check.

- I want everyday to be different. Check

The list could go on and on, but the point is that there are so many ways that I think this job could turn long term.  However, the anxious feelings come from the "what if," questions.  What if I'm supposed to be doing something else with my life?  What if there is something that I'm better at?  What if I'm supposed to move somewhere close to a warm beach and ride motorcycles all day?  Just kidding.  So I began to pray while driving today and I asked God to show me his plan.  Then I realized that I didn't really need to see all of it.  In fact it was better if I didn't.  If God gave me the whole 5 years worth right now my mind would be going crazy.  I would see what my future job would look like, I would see my future family, I would be able to know what big events were coming and the people I would meet.  Then all I would focus on would be waiting for those moments to come instead of focusing on the present and what he's doing for me now.  

Tonight, I was worrying about all these things while driving back from the city.  I'm pretty bad with directions so I use my GPS a lot.  As I was praying and wondering what God has in store for me for the next 3-5 years I suddenly heard the words, "Take the next exit to the right."  It was my GPS giving me one turn.  Not 10 or 10 years worth of turns.  Think of how overwhelming that would be.  If I wanted to take a trip out west from Chicago to LA and my GPS gave me all those directions at once, I would definitely not be able to handle that.  So why do I think I can handle even knowing the next year of my life?  It made perfect sense once I thought of it like that, and I immediately began to calm down and understand.  Of course God is watching out for me, but He knows that I don't need to know everything.  

I know he's looking out for me in so many areas of my life.  It's been a lot of fun looking for ways that He's blessed me.  Today, I had to get an IL driver's license.  I did it on my way into the city and stopped at a DMV in Cicero.  There was a preliminary line before getting to the actual waiting room where they would check to make sure you had all the documentation needed for the purpose of your visit.  I was there to take a written test and get a new license.  As soon as I got to the front, a lady yelled, "No more written tests!"  Fortunately, the guy who was checking my documents asked if she would take me because I was standing right here in line.  She agreed and actually let several other people go through the line as well.  It's little things like that where I see God's favor in my life.  It's so fun and encouraging to see how He's working and looking after me.  How has God shown favor to you?

[nevver]

[hamesworth]

Work.

[hamesworth]

The above picture is a map of places I've taken one client.  It's been so busy recently...and I love it!  This job is so interesting and really goes well with everything that I like.  You have to be ready at a moment's notice to set up an appointment and run out the door.  You go through times of feeling like you have a pretty free day and then 30 minutes later you are booked until 8:00.  It's so spontaneous which I really like.  Anyone who knew me in college knows that I was always the one ready to go out at 10:00 at night and go to Waffle House to get an All-Star Special, or go downtown to go hear some random band play.  I was always willing to go anywhere with anyone just, because it was spur-of-the-moment and new. I'm so thankful God gave me this opportunity to have a job that fits perfectly with what recharges me.  My job is to be around people, get to know them, and help them find something.  It's so rewarding to me to help someone get something and then feel really satisfied with what they have. It's not just rewarding, but it also gets me excited.  It makes the job so fun to think before every house that this could be the one.  It's like a treasure hunt and I get to experience the adventure with them.  I'm so glad that I'm doing something I love.  God knows me so well and it's easy to see how much he cares for me because of how much favor he's showing me.  So thankful!

[hamesworth]

All I can think about right now is riding this around Dalmaji Gil.

[hamesworth]

Now.

So I've been thinking a lot about when I sold books.  I'm trying to recreate those strict habits I had during those three summers.  It's crazy to remember how intentional I was about controlling my thoughts during those summers.  I got a fortune cookie today that said, "Use your abilities at this time to stay focused on your goal.  You will succeed."  It was a good reminder to review my goals often.  That's something we do when we sell books.  We reset our focus often so that we are always thinking about making choices that help us reach our goals.  It keeps our minds from worrying, it helps us take small steps in the right direction, and it helps you appreciate the success once you get there.  We used to have a saying that helped us take action when we were in a rut.  If ever we were nervous about knocking on a door because the dad looked mean (they all did), or maybe there was a crazy dog that was barking in the yard.  We would let action cure our fears and just say, "No time is a good time, so now is the best time."  Then we'd jump out of car and go for it. Controlling our thoughts are the easiest ways to stay on track and reach our goals.  You have to be intentional which takes a lot of effort, but isn't it worth it to reach our goals faster?  Why are you delaying your own success?  I would encourage everyone to think of that thing you're not doing and do it now.  Why wait?